Puns - the worst, the better !!

[wrench13]

A good pun makes you cringe, wince and otherwise make you want to curl up. The best ones make you loose a day of your life.
Post your best, worst puns.

Here we go!

The Norwegian Navy now has bar codes, so you can Scan-Da-Navy-In.

Or

The Apple Store just got robbed! The police are looking for i-witnesses

 

[BirdyBee]

Haha, my freind LOVES puns! If I see something happening here, I'll forward this to her I'm not good at puns though...

 

[ριgριzυ]

A good pun makes you cringe, wince and otherwise make you want to curl up. The best ones make you loose a day of your life.
Post your best, worst puns.

Here we go!

The Norwegian Navy now has bar codes, so you can Scan-Da-Navy-In.

Or

The Apple Store just got robbed! The police are looking for i-witnesses

I absolutly love these, I wish I knew some puns to share, Lemme think for a bit

 

[wrench13]

Does an owners manual for a gun have a troubleshooting section?

If money doesn't grow on trees, why do banks have a branch manager?

 

[SailBoat]

- If it wasn't for bad luck, I have no luck at all!!

which is the pre-curser for:

- It it wasn't for our Amazon (Julio), I would have nothing to gauge, flesh eating bacteria against.

- Life is like a Four-Way Stop Intersection near a retirement community. You Never Really Know What is going to happen 'or' When!!

 

[Terry57]

I love puns!!! Bless you, Al, you made my day by starting this.

 

[ριgριzυ]

I told my friend that I was going to make a bike out of spaghetti, you should have seen her face when I rode straight pasta

I cut my finger shredding cheese, but I have grater problems

I dreamed I was swimming in a sea of orange soda, but it was just a Fanta sea

I used to be addicted to soap, but I'm clean now

Why did the can crusher quit his job? It was soda pressing

 

[Terry57]

My grandpa has the heart of the lion and a lifetime ban from the zoo.

I was wondering why the ball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.

 

[ριgριzυ]

My grandpa has the heart of the lion and a lifetime ban from the zoo.

I was wondering why the ball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.

that first was darker than I would have expected, also the second one was so funny, I need to stop reading these or else I'll be disruptive to my classmates lmfao

 

[StormyPica]

My grandpa has the heart of the lion and a lifetime ban from the zoo.

“He’s at it again, Mom”

 

[Squeekmouse]

My dad got a new grill and it's too tall for him, I was worried he might injure himself using it. The steaks are pretty high.

 

[Squeekmouse]

I once had a dog with no legs, I named him Cigarette. Every day I would take him for a drag.

 

[Squeekmouse]

I finally manage to train my Hyacinth macaw to land only on my hand when he comes to me, it's a huge weight off my shoulders.

 

[wrench13]

Ooh some of these are bad!! Like being visited by Cringe Kringle. Merry Cringemas!

THere was this party were a boorish red headed Swede kept bragging that he could tell the weather in Sweden in his bones. The host was gonna call him out on this, but his wife said..."Don't be silly, Rude Dolph the Red knows rain , dear"

 

[Terry57]

My dog can do magic tricks. It’s a labracadabrador.

One bird can't make a pun.
But toucan.

 

[Squeekmouse]

My dog can do magic tricks. It’s a labracadabrador.

One bird can't make a pun.
But toucan.

LOL!! This thread is so made for me... I love bad puns.


Did you know that horses tend to have much better mental health than other farm animals? It's all due to their stable environment.

 

[Zoruace]

I love it when birds scream, i can listen to it aviary day (its so bad help )

 

[Skarila]

How do you call a fish without an eye?
A fsh. (Read it out loud if you don't get it :'D)

What did the fish say when it hit a wall?
Dam.

 

[StormyPica]

Why did the budgie have to go to the store to get seed? Because he couldn't millet himself!

 

[Terry57]

I entered a joke competition once with 10 puns. Thought I'd win, but no pun in ten did.