Puns - the worst, the better !!

[ravvlet]

Read these aloud to the household and they’re all groaning. Thanks y’all.

 

[BirdyBee]

Ok let me try. They're probably gonna be terrible but I'll give it a try!

Why did the cow cross the road? To go to the moo-vies!

Did you hear about the Italian chef? He pasta-way



Oh gosh, they were worse than I thought!

 

[Vampiric_Conure]

Said one vulture to another while eating a clown : ' Does this taste funny to you?'

What do you call an annoyed farmer? Aggravated **badum, chhhhhh**

What do you call a cat's favorite music CD? A Meow Mix!

(An actual sign on a Meat shop) Our Wurst is our best!

 

[HeatherG]

What do you call the invisible force that throws eggs around a chicken coop?

A poultrygeist.

(You’re welcome.)

 

[LaManuka]

 

[LaManuka]

Oh no ..... poor Carl .....

 

[LaManuka]

Sorry ... not sorry!

 

[moxxiethecockatoo]

A good pun makes you cringe, wince and otherwise make you want to curl up. The best ones make you loose a day of your life.
Post your best, worst puns.

Here we go!

The Norwegian Navy now has bar codes, so you can Scan-Da-Navy-In.

Or

The Apple Store just got robbed! The police are looking for i-witnesses

I got a good one

So I went to a pet store for a bird cage

I found a huge bird cage

I asked the pet store owner if the cage had any nickel in it

He said "Nope, all aluminum"

Then I said "So the cage has no nickel, so would that mean it's a Nickelless cage?"

I got kicked out of the pet store

 

[wrench13]

Excellent ! A good pun should take at least 2 days off your life expectancy. 3 days if it's exceptionally 'punny'.

 

[CuppyCake]

I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. It's impossible to put down!

 

[wrench13]

Funny, I was reading a book about Gravity! But I put it down, the subject matter was too heavy.

 

[Rozalka]

I can tell here just one thing...
I suck in puns more than suck sucks.

(not sure how it was said originally, inspired by a character from a series, with very low intelligence and reading the posts here I have similar intelligence level as him - I'm dump)

 

[BirdyBee]

I can tell here just one thing...
I suck in puns more than suck sucks.

(not sure how it was said originally, inspired by a character from a series, with very low intelligence and reading the posts here I have similar intelligence level as him - I'm dump)

I think maybe it was "I suck in puns more than puns suck" as it makes more sense

 

[Rozalka]

I think maybe it was "I suck in puns more than puns suck" as it makes more sense

nope, I added "in puns" because the original version had nothing to do with puns ("I suck more than suck sucks"? but I've never watched it in English)

But yeah, it makes more sense, the character is just dump and I'm dump here too

 

[princessdoll39]

have any of you tried wilbur soot merch for the puns

 

[LaManuka]

 

[Terry57]

 

[HeatherG]

‘Tis but a parroty of a good pun.

 

[Terry57]

‘Tis but a parroty of a good pun.

HAHAHA! Love this one!

 

[foxgloveparrot]

Ok ummm I usually don't tell dad jokes so I don't really know that many but....

A ham sandwich walks into a bar.
The bartender says, "Sorry, we don't serve food here."

A lesbian, a gay person, a bisexual person, and a transgender person were standing in line.
It was an LGBT-queue.

Where do you learn to make ice cream?
Sundae school.


Ahhhahhahahahhaha those are the only ones I know lol