Very sad news and need some suggestions on end of life care

[Anansi]

April, I am so sorry to hear this. From all you've shared the past few years regarding Barney's life with your parents and with his mate, I know that he's had a good and full life. As others have already said, I think that your parents are handling the situation exactly as they should. He really should be surrounded by his loved ones in this time.

As Allee pointed out, making the bottom of the cage especially comfortable for him is important. A soft towel will support and comfort him. Also, they might want to raise the temperature a bit for him, as it might be a bit more difficult to maintain body temperature at the moment.

Both Suzie and Bixby spent their last moments in my arms, and I know that they both drew comfort from that. The same, I'm sure, will be true for Barney... the only difference being his "person" is not a person at all. He will draw comfort from the presence of his mate, as well as the rest of his flock.

And your idea to let Alfie see him after he passes is also a good one. i did the same for Maya after Bixby had passed, and seeing him seemed to help her to process what had happened. I believe they "understand" death better than they would an abrupt disappearance.

My heart goes out to you and your family, April. I know how much you all love Barney. I'll keep you all in my thoughts and prayers.

 

[Doublete]

I'm sorry to read this April.

I am always with my animals at the end. Most of my old guys if I think they are at the end we do euthanize though. (Horses tend to suffer and "people" call because they look bad unfortunately- it's hard to keep their weight).

I have two old horses and three of cats currently and I Ann TERRIFIED of the day I have to go through what your parents are. All they can do is make it the best they can.

 

[Mariar]

I was not there when my Amazon passed. And I regretted it. My doolie died alone so I'm sure just being there will help. So sorry.

 

[Kiwibird]

Barney has not passed on yet and is a little perkier today, but still very weak. My mom says he is still on the floor but has regained some of his appetite and vocalized a bit when he saw her pull out some walnuts. She now thinks he perhaps had a second stroke. Still, given his poor health at this point it's doubtful he will recover from this. I just hope he hangs in there until after the holidays. One of my MIL's older dogs died last night unexpectedly, so I don't want to see another pet in the family pass this time of year.

Thank you everyone for being so kind. Barney is about the sweetest, calmest, gentlest parrot one could ever meet and whenever he decides to return to the earth, he will be greatly missed.

 

[Scott]

Oh April, I am sorry your MIL lost one of her dogs.

I am sure Barney is feeling the love and embrace of those closest to him.

 

[GaleriaGila]

Feel the love, little man Barney.

 

[ParrotLover2001]

I'm sorry about this bad situation. Just make him feel comfortable for his last moments.

 

[Kiwibird]

Just a little update. Barney is still hanging in there. Still can't perch or move around, but my mom says his appetite has returned and he's eating a lot to make up for the few days he hardly ate anything. Thinking more and more he may have had a second stroke worse than the first one. Still unsure if this is just a little last burst of life some animals get near the end or if he's somehow recovering, but he appears to be doing better.

 

[Scott]

Thanks April. So hard to know, but a resurgent appetite is always a good sign. Barney is getting the very best of love and support, hopefully the trend will be positive.

 

[wrench13]

Barney may surprise us all. Please wish your MIL and all her pets a Merry X-mas, and Happy Holiday from the pirates on Long Island: The Brigands, Geri, Tinker and of course Salty.

 

[EllenD]

I'm very sorry I didn't see this post sooner, I had to take a few days off because of the holiday...It seems that Barney is getting the very best care he could possibly get, and the correct decisions seem to have been made regarding letting him be with his life-long partner. I went through this last year with my 14 year old pug and I was absolutely devastated, I still am, so my heart goes out to you and you parents...40 years is a lifetime, just like losing a child....I'm so sorry about your mil's dog, like I said last year when my 14 year old pug Jaeger died I lost it. I came home from work and found him on the couch, I had to call my mom to come right over because I had a meltdown. He was literally like my son, and I was lost without him. I hope she finds peace with her loss...

Sent from my XT1575 using Tapatalk

 

[Kiwibird]

Sweet Barney passed away last night. He hung on until after Christmas, went before the new year came and waited for my dad to get home from work before he let go. He was a good bird and what he lacked in outward beauty he more than made up for in his sweet and gentle disposition. Never bit, never screeched, never got into any trouble, would go to anyone... He was just about the perfect bird. I know my parents are devastated, loosing a pet of over 40 years must be like loosing a child. I cannot even imagine how Lucy is feeling or what her level of comprehension is as an animal, but I am terribly concerned for her. I hope she takes this as well as could be expected. It is very sad, but sweet Barney has been relieved of the burden of the health issues he had for so many years and can now peacefully return back to the earth from which he came.

Even though I am over 1000 miles away, I know I felt Barney die last night and I am more than a little freaked out as a similar thing happened to me when my grandma died many years ago. I was walking down the stairs and it's like my brain skipped a beat and all the air was knocked out of me. And by the time I hit the bottom, more overwhelming than anything was just this sense of confusion and an agony that far exceeded the physical pain. There was no logical reason I should have momentarily blacked out and fallen down the stairs. And as I sat on the couch trying to figure out if I needed to go to the ER or not, about 30 minutes after I fell my mom called to tell me Barney had died about 30 minutes before. I know I felt him go. I am not religious, but do feel we are all connected on some level with a greater connection to some beings than others. If all actions have an equal and opposite reaction and we can become entangled with other beings, than I can only hope my own pain and confusion at his time of death meant he felt the exact opposite- nothing but peace and understanding. RIP sweet Barney.

 

[Flboy]

I am so sorry for all of you! Barney had a great life filled with love!

 

[ParrotLover2001]

I'm sorry to hear that he has passed.

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[Anansi]

April, I am so sorry that Barney has passed. My condolences also to your parents and to poor Lucy. I hope that you can all find solace in the fact that he had nearly fifty years of life with a family who loved him and could appreciate him for the beauty that shined within. A family that enabled him to live nearly fifty years despite multiple health issues.

And even as you find such solace in the midst of your grief, take heart in the knowledge that Barney flies free now, no longer burdened by the pains and limitations of his physical being.

I know that you loved him deeply. While many people on this forum can say that they have loved and bonded with a bird for the entirety of that bird's life, I reckon there are precious few who can say that they have loved and bonded with a bird for the entirety of their own... but you can. A bond forged in your infancy would be a strong one indeed. No wonder you felt dear Barney's passing.

Sending hugs to you and your family, my friend. You'll all be in my prayers.

 

[Birdman666]

If it were me? I'd basically just do a lot of sitting with the bird secured in the palm of my hand. Have the bird near me. Let her pass with dignity and love.

When Pecker was on her last legs, and too weak to stand, she just wanted to be on my shoulder, pressed against my face. Eventually, she tucked her head under my chin. When her head fell away, she was gone. That's how she died...

40 years is a very good, long life. And this bird loved, and knew he was loved and well cared for. Can any living thing ask for more?!

It's the living that feel the loss. The dead are at peace. SORRY FOR YOUR LOSS.

 

[plumsmum2005]

April, I am so sorry that Barney has passed. My condolences also to your parents and to poor Lucy. I hope that you can all find solace in the fact that he had nearly fifty years of life with a family who loved him and could appreciate him for the beauty that shined within. A family that enabled him to live nearly fifty years despite multiple health issues.

And even as you find such solace in the midst of your grief, take heart in the knowledge that Barney flies free now, no longer burdened by the pains and limitations of his physical being.

I know that you loved him deeply. While many people on this forum can say that they have loved and bonded with a bird for the entirety of that bird's life, I reckon there are precious few who can say that they have loved and bonded with a bird for the entirety of their own... but you can. A bond forged in your infancy would be a strong one indeed. No wonder you felt dear Barney's passing.

Sending hugs to you and your family, my friend. You'll all be in my prayers.

Kiwibird, so very sorry, cannot say anything more than Stephen has already said so well.

Fly free, sweet Barney.

 

[Scott]

I am so sorry, April. My deepest condolences to you, your parents, and Lucy. Barney knew he was deeply loved and appreciated and will not be forgotten. Such is the legacy exceptional companions leave in the wake of their physicality.

There is no doubt we are interconnected on many levels. I believe the innate ability to perceive metaphysical energies varies by individual and sensitivity. No reason IMHO to disbelieve this process cannot occur between species.

 

[Allee]

April, I'm so very sorry your family had to say goodby to such a special family member. Not only was Barney a just about perfect bird, he was fortunate enough to find a family that provided a just about perfect life. You understood his physical limitations but much more important, you understand everything else and allowed him to be extraordinary. He left you with a lifetime of beautiful memories to comfort you in his absence. You, your family and Sweet Lucy will be in my thoughts.

 

[SailBoat]

These moments always seem to leave me without words to support and provide comfort. It was for that reason that I had written Passing of a Feathered Friend to provide me support and comfort when all seemed empty. I strongly believe that we are connected one to another. That what effects our closes members affect us all!

So, from our flock to your flock:

“All of us feel such deep sadness when our Parrot friends die, and because they are Animals and not Humans, we are at a loss for words. Often, it is only other Parrot owners who can understand the depth of the loss that we feel with this complex, loyal, and loving creature. Resulting from such a loss, I have placed feelings and emotions into words and found verse to console the loss of my Cleo and since her, other sweet Amazons, in turn; I hope it will speak for all of you.” - Steven

You left this world so quickly. I can hardly comprehend your leaving. Yet there, in my hands, your still body rested — no longer your home. So much I have learned, so much you have taught, your purpose a full measure beyond your size. Comprehensions of your loss still a mist but yet, I know you are whole and happy - now beyond Rainbow Bridge. And so busy you must be upon your green wings, guiding angles to those of us yet to cross. With in my ear, I still hear you, those special sweet sounds of comfort and contentment:

“Do not stand by my grave and weep my friend.
I am not here. I do not sleep.
I am a thousand winds that blow.
I am the diamond glint on snow.
I am the gentle summer rain.
When you wake in the morning hush, I am the swift uplifting rush of quiet birds in circling flight.
I am the soft starlight at night.
Do not stand at my grave and cry my friend.
I am not there. I did not die.”

My pray for you my beloved feathered friend:

“May your body nourish this earth.
May your soul find release and contentment.
May you fly high and free upon wings of spirit.
Rest in peace little green one.”

The love and tender warmth of you is a un-full-fill-able void.
I do so much thank-you for creating a space for another, a special place next to yours’.

In remembrance of Cleo, (Estimated) Spring 1959 - May 2003

Amazon’s Have More Love!


May warm feathers bring you comfort my friend! Please pass all of our words of comfort to your Parents! It will help them to know that a large World of like people understand their loss!