Bird Purchase Mistake - Help!!!

[MegZ]

Want to respectfully call attention to the "happy hut" in cage. They are probably the number one most dangerous parrot accessory. Many birds have chewed and consumed the fine fibers, leading to blockages and serious illness including death. Secondary issues include a propensity to stimulate "nesting" behaviors. There are alternatives such as grass-based structures if desired, but if you insist on retaining, strongly advised to thoroughly check condition daily. Not all birds chew, just most!

Happy Hut is not longer in the mini cage. We took it out several days ago. He's not really interested in it. BTW, are there any products you do suggest for the cage, for sleeping?

 

[Scott]

Wonderful, glad Jasper showed no interest. I don't have any enclosures in cages for sleeping, but many enjoy snuggling up to a favorite toy. For some it is wooden blocks on chain, others prefer rope-type toys with soft fringes. I watch carefully to ensure rope toys are not chewed as that would raise the chances of ingestion.

 

[MegZ]

Want to respectfully call attention to the "happy hut" in cage. They are probably the number one most dangerous parrot accessory. Many birds have chewed and consumed the fine fibers, leading to blockages and serious illness including death. Secondary issues include a propensity to stimulate "nesting" behaviors. There are alternatives such as grass-based structures if desired, but if you insist on retaining, strongly advised to thoroughly check condition daily. Not all birds chew, just most!

Agreed- those are very dangerous and hormonal inspirations for birds everywhere.
Keep up the good work, but do remove that (even if he like it). It is a "nest" and unnecessary...I can't help myself...."or should I say, unNESTesary" LOLLLL SO LAME OF ME..I KNOW...aside from the fiber dangers, they can create real problems with behavior and aggression over time.

FYI - That cage is a small cage we started him in because he could barely walk without face planting every few steps. He is now in a much larger cage but uses that travel cage when we go to different parts of the house - cause he can walk into it. That pic was taken just a week in and the hut was removed multiple days ago already.

 

[noodles123]

They don't need a special place to sleep--I would get him some more natural perches (manzanita or dragon wood) -dowel perches aren't good for their feet and can cause bumble foot. Parrot Wizard has some good guides to perch diameter and variation. He also makes custom perches if you are needing a special cross-cage size.
They generally like to sleep higher rather than lower, but watch placement unless you want to clean tons of poop off perches all of the time.

My bird literally just sits on the middle of her main perch and goes to bed there.

Do you cover yours at night (it's not essential if they have their own dark room, but even though mine does, I still cover her. Some birds need a nightlight due to the risk of night frights, but that's not an issue with all of them.

 

[Laurasea]

conures and quaker do use cavity for sleeping year round. While other species use them only to breed and raise young. So a cockatoo would not use everyday, and would find it sexy. Amazon, African Grey , macaws something, they only use cavities for breeding
But conure use everyday, and doesn't seem to trigger sexy time. Sure can be exceptions. There are studies of conure using cavities year round in the wild

I have provided mine with a sleep place fir 20 years if keeping theses birds without issue.. seems to promote confidence, relaxation. Prevents night terrors. Maybe helps with drafts for these smaller massed parrots..

Just putting that out there, while our parrots are similar in so many ways there are species differences.

So glad to hear a bigger cage, with actual toys is now Jaspers home. I too was wondering about tge size, the dowel...., and not seeing toys. Could explain a part of his earlier tension in the home.

So glad to see happy updates and so cute looking out the window together

 

[MegZ]

Jasper is absolutely stunning. He looks so full of adorable mischief

Do you think he's pretty? Kind of typical conure colors - right? He has some yellow and then all that red, and he flight feathers are a turquoise blue but have to grow in.

 

[MegZ]

conures and quaker do use cavity for sleeping year round. While other species use them only to breed and raise young. So a cockatoo would not use everyday, and would find it sexy. Amazon, African Grey , macaws something, they only use cavities for breeding
But conure use everyday, and doesn't seem to trigger sexy time. Sure can be exceptions. There are studies of conure using cavities year round in the wild

I have provided mine with a sleep place fir 20 years if keeping theses birds without issue.. seems to promote confidence, relaxation. Prevents night terrors. Maybe helps with drafts for these smaller massed parrots..

Just putting that out there, while our parrots are similar in so many ways there are species differences.

So glad to hear a bigger cage, with actual toys is now Jaspers home. I too was wondering about tge size, the dowel...., and not seeing toys. Could explain a part of his earlier tension in the home.

So glad to see happy updates and so cute looking out the window together

Thank you. Yes, I thought it was typical in the wild for them to sleep in cavities in trees. I agree. It never seemed to increase sexual behavior in my other bird. He wasn't territorial about it or any other such thing. He loved his hideaway, so I might try a tube one.

 

[MegZ]

They don't need a special place to sleep--I would get him some more natural perches (manzanita or dragon wood) -dowel perches aren't good for their feet and can cause bumble foot. Parrot Wizard has some good guides to perch diameter and variation. He also makes custom perches if you are needing a special cross-cage size.
They generally like to sleep higher rather than lower, but watch placement unless you want to clean tons of poop off perches all of the time.

My bird literally just sits on the middle of her main perch and goes to bed there.

Do you cover yours at night (it's not essential if they have their own dark room, but even though mine does, I still cover her. Some birds need a nightlight due to the risk of night frights, but that's not an issue with all of them.

We cover the cage. His bigger cage.

 

[MegZ]

conures and quaker do use cavity for sleeping year round. While other species use them only to breed and raise young. So a cockatoo would not use everyday, and would find it sexy. Amazon, African Grey , macaws something, they only use cavities for breeding
But conure use everyday, and doesn't seem to trigger sexy time. Sure can be exceptions. There are studies of conure using cavities year round in the wild

I have provided mine with a sleep place fir 20 years if keeping theses birds without issue.. seems to promote confidence, relaxation. Prevents night terrors. Maybe helps with drafts for these smaller massed parrots..

Just putting that out there, while our parrots are similar in so many ways there are species differences.

So glad to hear a bigger cage, with actual toys is now Jaspers home. I too was wondering about tge size, the dowel...., and not seeing toys. Could explain a part of his earlier tension in the home.

So glad to see happy updates and so cute looking out the window together

There is a hanging toy in that smaller cage. You just might not be able to see it. The cage was definitely not the issue. He needed to be in the smaller cage at first to not injure himself. He was very clumsy and awkward. He could barely walk three steps without face planting and he would fall off his perches just because he was in a shoebox cage before with the floor just under him. Now he is doing fine. He LOVES the little cage during the day. We move it all over the house when he goes place to place and he can run in there when he wants to at floor level. He does step up to get in his big cage.

 

[Laurasea]

I understand. Babies and those nit exposed to climbing and perches need to learn, and smaller cages are a great way to start with them.
Yes i think he is very pretty! My Tadah is a very muted colors a cinnamon or something. She was on sale because she was considered drab. But I love her washed out color's

Tge fluffy fuzzy huts are tge worst at shedding fibers. But when we talk of tgrm we should also mention felt preen toys, tge white rope toys, fabric , everything threads sheds tgreads.

Abd tho mine have never been sexy about tgeur sleep places. Couch corners, under stuff, getting into a cabinet has caused nasty behavior, and nest defense behavior if those spots. Getting under throw pillows on the couch is a big turn on for them !

 

[MegZ]

Hi all,
So, Jasper seems to be getting a lot more comfortable with us. He is generally asking to be out of the cage. Tolerating us more, etc. One thing that still concerns me is just his general lack of playfulness or wanting to explore. He is supposed to be a juvenile bird but he doesn't play. I know I should not be comparing him but my previous GCC was play, and play, and play, and goofy and wanting to be with us all the time, and he learned some phrases. He was just fun and funny all the time. Do you think his full personality is still being held back by his early negative experiences? Thoughts?

 

[Inger]

Maybe he needs you to teach him how to play?


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[MegZ]

Trying. I think that is one of the factors for us in our decision process going forward.
-Will he bond? - working towards that
-Will he increase his confidence? - working towards that
-Will he be a good match for us personally? Want to play,etc.? - concerning, and we have tried to "play" Or does he need a single quiet person who just wants to enjoy a bird on top of or in their cage..?

As you can see from my previous posts, we have been trying to just take one day at a time and trying not to go up and down with our emotions. This is just one of the things we have been facing with him.

 

[Stitchthestitch]

He may just need to build up more trust with you to feel Comfortable enough to let his guard down to play.

It's has taken albie a good 4 months to start playing with the toys he has and it's taken that long to find his preferred type of toy.

Albie wasn't playful to begin with when I first got, I had to build a bond and some trust with him beggore he felt comfortable enough to be silly.

 

[Laurasea]

I use food and toy mix. Like weave a millet I to a toy. Those rubber balls with holes fill with popcorn. Things they can shred. Those yucca chips and weavers are good.

He has had a vet visit? I think you said he had but just checking

GCC are known fir liking to untie knots. My GCC isn't into play much but she likes to work st knots.

She also really likes to jump perch to perch, so i have a bunch of little perches set up fir a jump course.

You can use parsly plants, and some others maybe kitchen sage?

I would try a bunch of enriching stuff, safe branches . And foraging. The bird safe burd store on line has bunches of little stuff, like Chinese finger traps, kindle paper shreds.

And time outdoors in a travel cage does wonders for their soul , or taking them for walks. There are a bunch of cute cheap clear bird totes and tge like

 

[noodles123]

Megz.... try to think of this bird as an individual soul, as opposed to your companion (frustration over his "lack of playfulness" implies a disconnect between your desire for a very specific companion and his existence as an intelligent, perceptive individual with his own needs/wants/preferences, who has had no say in his own life)---You admit was likely traumatized... You need to figure it out ASAP, because you are either in it, or your not. You will traumatize the poor guy further if you let him linger in your home, only to pass him off because he didn't suit you a year down the road. That leaves a mark.
I get what you are saying, but if you adopted a kid, how would you feel if they had issues? I say this because you mention "crib babies".

I don't blame you for wondering etc, but this isn't really a situation for a pros and cons list-- you need to decide because your bird has already started to bond, and if you break that bond, it will put him further behind than he was when you thought he had bonding issues. AT THE SAME TIME, if you cannot let this go and will never be able to accept him for who he is, cut ties now, because the longer you wait, the worse it will be (again, there is going to be damage, but better now than 2 years later).
My thing is, you chose this..He is a living being with very high intelligence and he didn't ask for any of this...it was imposed...So if you aren't someone who can work with him or see past his flaws without constantly oscillating, then he would be better off with someone else (only you know your heart, but these doubts will harm your relationship because they are clearly taking an emotional toll on you)...at the same time, he has already started to attach himself.. so you need to stop experimenting and make a choice as to whether your or in forever, or out.
I just feel like it should be more like a marriage or adoption than a purchase that can just be returned if it doesn't fit...

Time is of the essence-- if you aren't in, now is the time to decide. The longer you waffle about, the worse this will be for a bird who, reportedly, already struggles with forming bonds.

I am not trying to guilt you into keeping him. Sometimes knowing when to cut ties is kinder than allowing things to linger when they should not. A re-homed bird can be happy (I am my bird's 4th home) but it took WORK...Like a marriage..and I knew it could be rough, so I went into it knowing that I would do whatever it took for however long. Yes, I cried many nights and wondered if I had made a terrible choice, but I never once even considered giving her up. If you are always thinking about this, it is concerning, because, as you know, birds aren't a walk in the park and if you aren't fully committed already, then I hate for things to drag on and on...If you don't have both feet in this relationship, I'm worried that one really bad day could eventually just cause you to run for the hills (out of ongoing worry and frustration).

If you are really going to worry about this forever , then you may as well cut ties now, because while this bird will never replace your old bird, and even though this new bird could be everything and more, your behavior/emotions will also shape the outcome and trust that you are able to establish (no matter how well you think you are playing it off). Again, your bird's behavior does not personally concern me, but you know you, and you are going to be the main factor in whether this works or not.

I say this with love...like I would to a family member. I am not trying to be a jerk-- I just feel like some "straight talk" is in order. I do not think you are bad and I do not blame you or anything like that, I know that you suffered a deep and terrible loss and it shook you to the core, but you need to make up your mind. The longer you take, the worse it will be for this innocent being whose entire life is a consequence of human choices. Heck, you can mutually divorce a human, but you cannot divorce a bird, you know?

I do not believe that any bird is beyond repair with the right training/patience, but it takes a certain "owner" mindset.

Do you have a plan on how you would re-home if it comes down to it?

 

[Laurasea]

Meg,
I kinda followed in your foot steps, with a little twist. I dint know if you read or follow threads other than your own?

I lost my love too, my Neptune, and the outcome is unknown. Our pain is each our own, unique to us. For myself I feel utter devastation .

I wasn't going to get another, I still have wonderful parrots and a full home.

But I came across a screaming blue quaker, that had been at the petstore since he was weaned, longer at the pet store than from his hatch sat to weaning.

Unlike you, I knew I was getting " problems " sort of ridiculously i chose to Save this one, even tho another will soon take his place at the store ...but I did educate the manager in hopes the next will fair better.

I named him Orbit, and it is hard, huge fear of hands, screaming, over preening, trying to become a plucker. But I'm all in, I'm making mistakes and set backs too. But I find joy in every happy thing I add to his life. I hold the picture of our success in my heart, but I allow that he is himself and may never be the snuggle bug my other birds are. But he reminds me so much of Neptune, and that hurts , but I kinda did choose him because he reminded me so much.. tricky heart....i didn't want this smart bold boy to have a bad life. Ok its hard enough to analyze my own feelings, let alone yours. O just feel a connection with you through our loss abd through our taking on pet store traumatized babies.

Your Jasper was in your home for a long time with no name, with you suffering greif, with you feeling disconnected. With you feeling you made a mistake. Jasper 100% picked up on this, and it had to have an effect on his behavior.

All of us in this world make mistakes at sometimes or another. Don't let guilt make you keep him, if you feel so deeply that you are the wrong mom for him. For myself I won't judge you if you re home, or even if you come back later with a new bird.

But also importantly , I think you can have a lovely relationship with him. And he will heal and grow. That can be so beautiful to be a part of.. And be his own unique self. You have to feel that, believe that, for it to happen tho. Only you know the truth . And its ok if he isn't the bird for you. I feel so much for you, snd for Jasper. I want you both happy, together, or apart

 

[MegZ]

Meg,
I kinda followed in your foot steps, with a little twist. I dint know if you read or follow threads other than your own?

I lost my love too, my Neptune, and the outcome is unknown. Our pain is each our own, unique to us. For myself I feel utter devastation .

I wasn't going to get another, I still have wonderful parrots and a full home.

But I came across a screaming blue quaker, that had been at the petstore since he was weaned, longer at the pet store than from his hatch sat to weaning.

Unlike you, I knew I was getting " problems " sort of ridiculously i chose to Save this one, even tho another will soon take his place at the store ...but I did educate the manager in hopes the next will fair better.

I named him Orbit, and it is hard, huge fear of hands, screaming, over preening, trying to become a plucker. But I'm all in, I'm making mistakes and set backs too. But I find joy in every happy thing I add to his life. I hold the picture of our success in my heart, but I allow that he is himself and may never be the snuggle bug my other birds are. But he reminds me so much of Neptune, and that hurts , but I kinda did choose him because he reminded me so much.. tricky heart....i didn't want this smart bold boy to have a bad life. Ok its hard enough to analyze my own feelings, let alone yours. O just feel a connection with you through our loss abd through our taking on pet store traumatized babies.

Your Jasper was in your home for a long time with no name, with you suffering greif, with you feeling disconnected. With you feeling you made a mistake. Jasper 100% picked up on this, and it had to have an effect on his behavior.

All of us in this world make mistakes at sometimes or another. Don't let guilt make you keep him, if you feel so deeply that you are the wrong mom for him. For myself I won't judge you if you re home, or even if you come back later with a new bird.

But also importantly , I think you can have a lovely relationship with him. And he will heal and grow. That can be so beautiful to be a part of.. And be his own unique self. You have to feel that, believe that, for it to happen tho. Only you know the truth . And its ok if he isn't the bird for you. I feel so much for you, snd for Jasper. I want you both happy, together, or apart

This is the best comment so far. I am not judging other people's comments. This has just helped me the most. Here's the thing. Emotions are tricky things. We can't really stop our feelings. They are our feelings. The question is what do you do with them? How do you handle them? Because, if you stuff them, guess what? They come out sideways. People asked for updates and occasionally I give you an update, including how I am feeling. I am sure I am not the only one with these struggles and I thought it could be informative.

In terms of Jasper, I think he is growing under us and feel safer, but I don't ultimately know if he will bond with us because I use my gut nearly 100% for any situation. And I am looking to feel those connections grow. I don't know any other way. Yes, I understand the idea of being all in. That's my intention. But, I also know from experience with another rescue animal (a cat) that didn't match us at all, that sometimes that is the case. That cat moved on to another family and he was the love of their lives.

I absolutely want to feel all in but that is not how I am feeling. I am not doing that on purpose. I can say I will be all in but my feelings are complicated. I am not BACK AND FORTH as someone else kindly suggested. I am not upset with that person. I am just trying to show this is a journey. That was my attempt. It is not a one-day journey. My goal and best thought, is to continue. But, I also am not going to lock myself in to permanence just yet. I understand that he did not choose the situation. I get that. But, if I am not happy, he won't be either. Since I am giving it my BEST, I am not ready to make the decision now.

My plans to rehome him if it came to that would be a friend of mine, who has two other parrots - a quaker and a cockatiel and a disabled daughter who has a way with birds. I trust her home and I think Jasper would love the other birds. But, I am not going there now. I am sorry if I am not handling this the way everyone else might or people don't think I am all in. It's a complicated situation with complicated emotions. I should have waited to take steps after my bird died. Pure and simple. I can't stress enough how in love with that bird I was. If someone said choose between the bird and my husband, I would have chosen the bird. He just was amazing. And, I know this is a different bird with a different personality that could be just as lovely. That doesn't change how I got here nor how I am feeling.

I would never do anything to harm him and I know it would be careful steps forward.

I came to this group because this is hard and thought you could help. I stayed because you wanted updates and I needing processing and trying things.

Thank you for the toy/play suggestions. Thank you for other suggestions. I am trying them. I appreciate that. If you don't want to know about the journey, I won't post. It's an emotional journey. It's not neat and clean. It's up and down. I am sorry about that. That's just how it is.

 

[noodles123]

I guess my thing is, if you feel like your feelings could get in the way, then it MAY be time to cut your losses...Not because you thought it for a second, but because you continue to feel it (and not because I agree, but because you keep mentioning it). It doesn't mean this couldn't work or that your bird is broken, but it means that you may not be in the proper state of mind. Only you know that, but it takes a lot of commitment to be where you need to be if you want to be successful. If you decide you are all in, I 500% support you!!! My fear is, that you may be your own worst enemy... and in that case, you are the final arbiter...

I am not trying to blame you for feeling what you do!

It just comes down to whether you are emotionally available enough to accept a new family member who has quirks that differ from those in your past ...wasn't trying to rub salt in the wound (although I can see why you may have taken offense)

It just seems like you are basing the majority of this on your feelings..and, that makes sense, as that is really all we have...BUT..


When another living thing is involved, you don't have the luxury of taking your time to decide.

Anytime you add a new bird to a flock, there is a major risk...Just because someone is good with birds doesn't mean they are good with all birds..You are the one your bird is interested in at this point, and no one else is you.

Again, I am just hoping that you think long and hard...You can do this if you want to, but not if you keep comparing...

 

[MegZ]

Hi all,

I am just going to keep taking it one step at a time. That's what I decided multiple posts back after much input here. That's the way it is going to roll. I am also following the advice of our vet, who knows we are having a rough start. She is a birdie vet. She said this:
A) Give yourself more time
B) Not every animal and person interaction ends up being the right one.
C) Don't beat yourself up. Just take your time and take the pressure off. You don't need to feel a certain way. It's okay.

That helped me to take the pressure off - I don't have to feel a certain way yet. That has actually HELPED me to feel better about Jasper than I was. I will not put pressure back on myself. I will follow my vet's advice. I will go back to no updates unless something big happens - we feel like we made a bunch of progress or otherwise. I have appreciated everyone's input. I am not upset at anyone in the least. I am actually very down-to-earth person and LOYAL to a fault. So, the fact that I feel the way I do at all is rather out of character for me. I am not going to war with myself at this point. It will all work out. I am convinced of that - one way or another. I just need to feel like this is a community that is supporting US with this bird situation and not just the bird and can understand us too. Again, I am not upset with anyone's comments, I just don't need extra pressure or stress that I am somehow damaging the bird if I don't know where my head is at right now. It is what it is. I am doing better without that kind of pressure.

Oh, I wanted to add - we bought Jasper September. 17th, 2020. Someone said something about us not naming him right away. We didn't do that because we didn't know his sex yet. Took him immediately to the vet and after DNA testing results, named him within two days. It does feel a bit judgmental when someone seems to say we delayed naming him because we were somehow feeling not attached to him. We did not delay naming him. We wanted to know if he was a he or she and then we named him. Additionally, we CARE about Jasper. We are kind and loving to him and want the interaction. I would say that he is more trusting and less stressed but he is definitely not anymore interested in us than when we got him a month ago. He has his routines but they don't include humans. If he is on my hand looking out the window, it is because I encourage it. In fact, as we speak, he is in the back room of our house, on a play area my husband devised for him. He has been there probably an hour and a half (with me checking on him). He will step up or come out of his cage but not because he wants to be with us. We have made some of those interactions happen. i.e. I don't think he's attached to us at all. He does not seek us out ever. He in fact tries to avoid us and go about his business. That's him and not us. Please stop making his behaviors about us. That's not the case.

Take care all. Update you later when I know more. Meg