This is such a great thread!
Unfortunately I do know some people who gam into the ānot enough timeā category which for them translates to ānot enough desireā.., they just donāt want it enough, if that makes sense.
If you love someone you will find time, make time, turn your life upside down if you have to. Like someone said, my husband should have rehomed me a loooong time ago.
We are lucky that we have a lifestyle that works with birds, ie working from home, and no kids helps a lot. But like someone else said, sometimes itās not about having direct interaction all the time- sometimes āparallel playā is really enjoyed by birds, meaning you both do your own thing, but together, or in the same room. They also have acute senses and know when you are in the house somewhere.
I want to mention as well, that *sometimes*, the people that actually try to rehome, are better bird owners than they think- as evidenced by all the thought they put into trying to do the right thing.
There are plenty of bird owners who would never even question their ability, despite tremendous neglect.
I read a question on Quora once that broke me- a woman had bought a parakeet to keep in her office building, so she would have company while she was at work. The baby was alone all weekend. Thank God she had the sense to post about it and she got an earful from me and others. But this is just an example of how ignorant ppl can be about birds.
I got my first birbaby during Covid. When outside life started again due to the pandemic, we did get a buddy for our baby, so we wouldnāt feel guilty about going out for grocery shopping or dates
they are not a bonded pair but itās a night and day difference from when we had to leave our first bird alone.
I do think that made a big difference, as our baby was very attached to us.
I also want to mention something that has been a game changer.
The other thing we did was buy an Amazon Echo, a ring cam, and the biggest cage we could find. I have a Linnie and a budgie, so this 60ā cage is like a resort for them. It is decked out l with so their favorite stuff. They love it so much that they hardly miss us anymore when we go out, lol!
I donāt like leaving them out unsupervised obviouslyā¦
If my husband and I have to leave for 4-6 hours , which is not super common but these days it happens- and a couple of times we had to take a short day trip or twoā¦
We set up Amazon echo facing the cage, and there is a Ring cam we installed so we can look into the cage.
When we have to be out, if itās been a few hours, I will check in on them on the Echo. They can see my face and voice, and I can see the cage- and using ring app I can see up close how they are, and they can hear my voice and talk to me through that as well. But Iām able to also spy on them secretly through that.
In the meantime I can also play music or podcasts on the echo for them, remotely.
It is amazing how they react to seeing us, how they obviously miss us and are so happy to see us. It obviously really gives them a sense of safety and anchoring, plus they know what it means when we say āweāll be right back!ā
I can also show them how Iām going the grocery shopping, and honestly they love it!
I do like to bring them shopping but itās not always practical and they seem to enjoy staying home these days.
Having this monitoring system in place means that I can feel happy and not anxious knowing my babies are ok, and I can see them. Iām hyper anxious about them and always worried. I also have friends and family in the area that can check their waters if we are out for too long that day, and who could go over in case of an emergency.
The birds can see and hear us, and feel like we are all together, even if it is a bit of an illusion. I used to feel terrible about even leaving the house for even a few hours- especially when we just had our one bird, but now I feel like can actually have some adventures here and there. And they are very content. If we are in the car for a while, Iāll just keep the video on so they can see and hear us talking, so it feels like we are there.
If I donāt check in on them through the echo, I will get a side eye when I get home. So I know it adds an emotional support for them.
Iāve been wanting to give my āreviewā of this method because I think a lot of bird people might love it too, im sure Iām not the only one who does this of course.
But for someone who suddenly had less time, ie, had to start a job that wasnāt from home and leave their single bird at home all day - of course this makes me a little sad but, like OP said, if the person is a good loving owner otherwise and the bird is imprinted on them, it seems so sad to rehome unless really really really necessary.
In my thought experiment here, someone who has to leave their bird at home could interact with them through the Echo during the day, play music and podcasts, and it would be way better than nothing.
Obviously there will be cases where rehoming actually is best, but I agree with looking at it long term. Jobs change, situations change, life changes. Is whatever new situation you are looking at , really permanent?
For me, I wouldnāt rehome my birds any more than I would rehome a child. Im not trying to be patronizing or seem superior in ANY way. I just have that bond and attachment with these birds that I canāt and wonāt live without them- not for all the riches in the world. Like, at the risk of sounding insaneā¦ Iād rather die! My life revolves around them. So the world and everyone in it, will just have to revolve around them too!
Whatās interesting is that people might think itās odd, but they come to accept and respect that about me.
Iām sure that many others resonate with what Iām saying. And I hope that no one thinks I am judging others for rehoming- I have had friends that did this, I totally get it. And I know I have small parrot privilege lol!
But I also hope this thread inspires some people to find creative solutions, to think long term, like some of the precious posters had said - 10 minutes is still ten minutes! I have a friend whose husband is a doctor and sometimes she doesnāt see him all week!
and, or, to feel more confident about prioritizing this huge commitment they have made, and expecting others (family, colleagues, bosses) to respect that choice. Because I think some pole do feel pressured to put birds on the back burner- after all , our society in general does not deem them as important as children or even cats and dogs.
For instance Iām never going to work for or with someone who gets pissed off seeing a bird on my head during a zoom call. I canāt match that energy in my life,
and something better will come along.
If I prioritize my birds in all aspects of my life, then life will work its way around that, and Iāll attract situations that work with my lifestyle.
That being said, sometimes life just drops a bomb on you!
Plus, the desire to make the effort has to be there, and not all bird owners and gen-pop, are in love with their birds or birds in generalā¦. How I wish we , as bird lovers, could change that
