No time for my bird! Rehome him?

I'm DEFINITELY no expert, but since I've had Zilla I have had several people come into my office and notice her (how do you not notice a bright green bird on my shoulder, or play stand, or the huge cage in my living room?) and then say they have always wanted a "talking parrot" "does she talk" "what does she say" blah blah blah... seems like that's all they are interested in... Zilla hardly ever says "human" words, and only a couple I can understand.

I always go into EVERYTHING I have been through with her, how expensive it's been, how much work she is, how much time I spend EVERY DAY with her, how much cleaning, etc... And then tell them if they are serious about getting a bird to do their research, join this forum, and expect to put in the time and effort (commit to the rest of their lives doing these things DAILY)

I also make a big deal about how long parrots live, it's not like getting some other kind of pet that can be left alone in a cage or tank without much interaction or care.

Almost always their eyes get huge and they can't believe how much money and time I spend on her, then they change the subject and leave!

So far no one has gotten a parrot... I don't think I'm being mean or negative, I just don't want someone to run out and get a parrot and then end up having issues, or wanting to toss it out if it isn't what they expected it to be.

If they really want a bird and really want to do the right thing by the bird I am willing to help however I can, I just think most people have no idea what it takes to have a healthy, well adjusted parrot.
 
Couldn't agree more with Amanda.
I really don't get why so many people are only interested in their ability to talk, it seems like that's all they care about.

You're definitely doing the right thing informing them and letting them know how much work it really is :)

Before people buy birds (or any kind of pet, really) they should have to fill in a form and stuff to see if they're qualified for it or not. Getting tired of seeing animals left outside.
In one of the parks near my apartment, at one point there were like 2-3 turtles someone abandoned there!
We used to have loads of cats living in bushes here too.
 
Quit your job, move into your car.
 
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Ok, time to rant about this! My heart is broken. I was in the evil pet store yesterday with a good friend, and she noticed a turquoise/cinnamon green cheeked conure, which is an uncommon color particularly here in Hawaii. I have been looking for one, since I breed them and my turquoise/cinnamon is a female, so she does not produce visually turquoise/cinnamon babies. Anyway I asked about the price and was shocked to find out it was actually reasonable, and that he was actually about a year and a half old. I took him home. Getting him here has broken my heart. He speaks, he says "good bird" "pretty bird" "kiss kiss" "whacha doin?" And several other things I have not been able to decipher. He is a shoulder bird to the max, and is having a hard time understanding why I won't let him be there all the time (the reason is he bites when I try to take him down). He loves scritches and has let me pet his whole body, though I have not yet tried under the wings. He steps up for anyone even from his cage, he follows you if you leave him...

I can just hear someone bringing him into the evil store and saying they didn't have time for him, could the store owners please find him a home? They also have a hyacinth and a red bellied parrot who both were surrendered by their owners. UGH. This poor baby.
 
All I usually have to say is, "No Teflon". They usually respond like I've asked them to stand in horse poop for 16 hrs a day.
 
Thank god I came across this! :) I am currently overloaded with new things and I know it will settle, but this has supported that there is light at the end of the tunnel. And I also doing a few of these things already so that makes me feel good :)
 
@ SilverSage: This is a fantastic thread, thank you.
MODs why not make it a sticky, please?
I too found that when I talked about the funny exploits of my RB2 people would get all excited and talk about having one, so to counter that I would then have to go into negative mode to explain all the realistic's of owning a parrot as well as trying to explain that there are loads of unwanted ones out there, why not consider them if serious. I have now got to the point of being almost reticent to talk about him too much at times because I do not want to add to the problems by encouraging 'flip flops'. "Oooh shall we have this today and that tomorrow, ooh look shiny!"

People don't give their children away, so why not consider your bird as you would consider an offspring, and as has been previously stated work things out?
If any of my Fid friends go through a sticky patch and need some breathing space in regards to their Fid I will be first in line to offer that bird a temporary home to allow them time to put their lives back on track. Also realise that this needs to be done carefully so as not to be a dumping ground for unwanted birds.
 
wow just amazing, perfectly written thanks for writing this its sooo true!
 
Excellent post with lots of great points.

I have a slightly different perspective, however. Just some background on me - I did Pit Bull rescue and fostering for many years and have also rescued and fostered quite a few parrots.

I used to feel and think the same exact way about rehoming animals, and then I suffered a spinal cord injury. I went from being an active and happy 28-year-old to being bedridden 23 hours a day and I'm unable to even shower without assistance. This has greatly changed my perspective, as has the recent acquisition of my rescue Eclectus, Persie.

You see, I had all the time and energy in the world to pour into my fids and then this really difficult life circumstance presented itself. We also had one foster Goffin's and my husband has asthma. Sure, you've heard it before, -"Must rehome due to allergies." A little perspective on my husband's asthma: he has been in the ICU over 25 times, has needed the paddles once, and has even died once as a result of his severe asthma. While he can handle the dust from a Grey, that Goffin's would have been a death sentence for him. Not to mention, he had unexpected heart surgery five months ago. That was a rude awakening as the cardiologist said he would have been lucky to live four more months. He had what was called the Widowmaker. He had perfect blood pressure and zero family history. We were shocked.

Yes, we have been through a LOT with our health. Because of those difficulties and my very low quality of life every day, my perspective on rehoming animals has changed quite a bit. Then Persie came to us and only confirmed my belief that it is better to rehome an animal and allow them to go through that transition than to be neglected and ignored by a family who simply won't or can't make the time for the bird.

The transition will be an adjustment, yes, but Persie's case is the perfect example of owners who were guilted into keeping her. She didn't leave her cage for five years or get a bath in that same time. If they were willing to tell me that, I can only imagine what they weren't telling me!

My whole point is, sometimes life throws us curveballs we could have never imagined in a million years and sometimes that means making decisions in the best interest of the animal. That best decision may truly be rehoming. I have now been bedridden for three years (over 1050 days in bed for 23 hours a day) and I don't get to spend the time I want with my birds. What time we do have together is quality time but it took me a long time to get to the place where I was able to do even that much.

As much as my intentions were good in my views previously, I never truly understood what it meant to have an earth-shattering, catastrophic life change. Now that I have, I know that I will never again assume what someone is going through. Yes, there will always be irresponsible and lazy people who just change their minds, but my perspective now is it's better for that bird or animal to go somewhere they are wanted and will receive love and build that bond than to be begrudgingly cared for and resented and shoved in a corner because someone was made to feel so guilty about doing what was right by the animal.

I realize this will likely be an unpopular opinion, but my life experience has shown me there is another perspective on this issue and not to judge if someone truly is deciding to rehome in the best interest of the animal. These are the same animals who would be neglected or potentially abused, and rehoming is far less traumatic than those two options.

-Brittany
 
Brittany, I agree with you wholeheartedly. In some situations, it truly is better for an animal to be rehomed. I have always been a cat person, and we had cats for many years. However, our daughter has allergies to cats. We took her to a specialist for a few years, trying different medications to help her live with the cats. I even bathed them weekly to try and keep their dander under control. We kept them out of her room and her playroom, so that there was no dander in the rooms she was in the most.

However, after a few years, her allergist told us that they had to go, because she was starting to develop asthma because of the constant exposure to the cats. At that point, even though I loved my cats dearly, I had to rehome them. It was either that or let my child suffer and continue to get sicker. It was heartbreaking. I cried like someone died for days after they were rehomed. And that was even with my mom being willing to take Reverend, my BABY! I still get to see him at my moms, but it still kills me.

However, I wouldn't change it. I would rather let my furry children live with someone else, than be locked in one room, away from everyone else, forever. That was one of the reasons I was ecstatic to get the opportunity to get an eclectus, since they don't produce dust like most other birds because of their oil glands. That way I get to have my big bird, and it doesn't affect my daughter's asthma or allergies. I do have the smaller birds, but I also have to commit to dusting and vacuuming constantly to keep the dust under control. Plus I have my "bath bottle" that they get misted with often.

On the other hand, I also agree with the OP. If it is a situation that can be worked around, like time, then all measures should be taken to try and make the time. When getting any animal, we make a commitment. We are agreeing to supply the animal with all their basic needs, as well as the love and affection they deserve. All measures should be taken to try and provide that, and only as a last resort, should they be rehomed.

Overall, I think it can be a very grey area. If money is an issue, if you committed yourself to an animal, and you don't want to sacrifice a pleasure, like going on vacation, to afford to be able to see a vet, then too bad. The vet comes first, you can go on vacation later. However, if there is the loss of a job and it's either you feed the animal, or your child, then maybe it's time to find the animal a new home.

Maybe I got off on a little bit of a tangent, I apologize. I just want to point out that I think there are valid points on either side of the argument. I think there are cases where rehoming is justified, and others where it is not.
 
No one is saying there aren't legit reasons to rehome. I've rehabbed and rehomed more than I've kept. Life altering experiences come into play, and those are certainly as legit as they get.

That's significantly different from the "usual excuses" type person, or the person who is thinking of rehoming just because they have a lot on their plate at the moment, and are having a hard time juggling responsibilities... (You don't have to. Give it time, these things have a way of working out.)
 
Brittany741 said:
Yes, there will always be irresponsible and lazy people who just change their minds, but my perspective now is it's better for that bird or animal to go somewhere they are wanted and will receive love and build that bond than to be begrudgingly cared for and resented and shoved in a corner because someone was made to feel so guilty about doing what was right by the animal.

I realize this will likely be an unpopular opinion, but my life experience has shown me there is another perspective on this issue and not to judge if someone truly is deciding to rehome in the best interest of the animal. These are the same animals who would be neglected or potentially abused, and rehoming is far less traumatic than those two options.

-Brittany
Click to expand...

I absolutely agree, and there are many people who agree with you as well. Of course we frown upon those who rehome out of irresponsibility or laziness, etc. but of course there are unforeseen events in which the bird would truly have a better quality of life if rehomed. I have done it in the past, and many of the more long term experienced owners here have done too as well at some point. If it is 'truly' in the best interest of the bird, then most people understand. The OP wasn't directing the post at responsible individuals :).
 
My home as been one of those last chance homes for rehomed Amazons. The one's that no one wants. We pray for years and are happy if we get days with some of them. I am always taken back by what little attention warms their hearts. Their deep want to be part of a flock.

Whether on the computer or reading project documents, a loud, (which to most of the world would be bored to tears) every Amazon has loves it. It is also when I first hear their voice.

Interestingly, I was just reading that several groups are working with returning Veterans with serious menial and/or physical limitations. The Veterans are matched with rehomed dogs, cats and yes, parrots. The results has been truly wonderful as both expect very little from each other and both find reasons for living and more importantly loving because of each other.

Yes, there are those cases, but they are far fewer than what I hear.
 
I totally agree with the OP, of course. 99% of rehomed animals are rehomed for reasons which will change. But on the off chance that 1% reader comes here, I don't want them thinking they will be blacklisted by the community when they truly are doing the right thing.
 
Thank you for your post re: rehoming. I do think that laying a guilt trip on someone who adopted a bird and finds themselves in a quandary because of various factors is a little unfair. We got our Bobo, DYH amazon about 13 years ago. We were both retired and thought since we had the time, we could teach him to talk and do tricks and be a companion for both of us. We saw an AD that we responded to. The owner lived in Conroe, TX about a 5 hour drive from us close to Houston. We made the trip to scope our the situation. We found that the owner had built a huge metal building next to his house that was crammed with birds of all kinds. There were nesting boxes attached to the walls on one end. He had cages arranged in aisles, housing all different kinds of birds. The birds' cages were stacked on top of each other up to about 6 feet. He took us to the cage that held Bobo and a female DYHA that was completely bald where feathers had been plucked out, from Bobo or what I don't know. There were no perches in the cage. Only a tree limb stretched diagonally inside the cage. The two birds were forced to constantly climb and sides and roof of the cage, with no place to perch. The tree limb was about 5 or 6 inches in diameter so it could not be considered a perch. Bobo was beautiful and we felt sorry for him so we purchased him for $500. We looked around the place and saw purple hyacinths, lots of large parrots of all colors. All the birds were screaming and you could barely hear yourself think. I don't remember if I grasped the filth at the time as there was no floor in the building, just dirt. I just wanted to get out of there. I asked the guy "what kind of diet are you using for these birds?" He said, "Don't worry about it. Just regular bird seed with lots of sunflower seeds. They'll eat whatever you put in the cage."
We think Bobo was essentially wild caught as he is not perch trained and does not like hands any where near him. We've tried for 13 years to teach him perch training but without much success. So Bobo is my sidekick, next to my desk and watches with delight when I view Youtube videos of other birds. The desk is off limits for him as he tries to go behind my monitor to find those other birds.
Now, we are in a quandary because we are 82 yrs old and are both in wheelchairs. It is getting more and more difficult to take care of them but until one of us passes on to our reward, we will persevere. We are worried about what will happen to our birds when we die or have a stroke (God forbid). We would like to find a person that would foster them until homes could be found for them. Does anyone know of an organization or rescue facility in the Fort Worth, TX area that we could reference as a Go To contact in our wills?
All our birds are in the center of the activity in our house. They would squawk and scream if they were put in a room alone. They are social beings and they want to see and be seen and talked to and be a part of a family's doings. That's why we don't want them to be sold out of a pet store where we don't know what kind of environment they would be going to.
God bless those who adopt and care for other people's former loved pets.
 
I have read appreciated every post here.
I am NO PARROT EXPERT, so I have only my own story. I hope it will help.
I have told it before, so please forgive me if you've already seen it.

Well, I got my bird when I was in college, with plenty of time to spend with him. As years went by (decades, in fact) he received varying levels of time. But we made it to retirement and now it's all good. Here's my suggestion. No matter how crazy your life gets, have a certain time every day that's all BIRD QUALITY TIME. The Rickeybird, for example, knew that no matter what... he had about ten minutes in the morning before work, and another ten around suppertime. I know that sounds awful, but he had a TV to watch, windows on a busy street, lots of toys, and... we made it!

So if you decide to keep your bird... schedule a certain reliable QUALITY BIRD TIME.
Enhance the room with a tv, an open window, toys, whatever you can manage.
Maybe schedule other activities as well. Cleaning, chatting with mom...grocery-shopping... that really helps ME.

And lastly, if in good conscience you decide to rehome... may it go smoothly. I praise your courage in coming here, and in thinking so hard.

Good luck. :)
 
Only time I considered rehoming my bird was when I had my first baby. I did not trust my bird around the baby. So I did not let her out like I use to. But the baby stage only last a short time and things go back to normal in a few years.

I found it was harder to have a bird and a baby than 3 dogs and baby. My dogs where easy to train around the baby. A bird that wants you only and gets mad at the baby is scary. You work threw it and in time everything gets better you make it work if you love your pet.

It's the same with dogs. Look at the shelters. It's sad that people see pets as disposable and not part of the family.
 
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This is such a great thread!
Unfortunately I do know some people who gam into the ā€œnot enough timeā€ category which for them translates to ā€œnot enough desireā€.., they just donā€™t want it enough, if that makes sense.
If you love someone you will find time, make time, turn your life upside down if you have to. Like someone said, my husband should have rehomed me a loooong time ago.
We are lucky that we have a lifestyle that works with birds, ie working from home, and no kids helps a lot. But like someone else said, sometimes itā€™s not about having direct interaction all the time- sometimes ā€œparallel playā€ is really enjoyed by birds, meaning you both do your own thing, but together, or in the same room. They also have acute senses and know when you are in the house somewhere.

I want to mention as well, that *sometimes*, the people that actually try to rehome, are better bird owners than they think- as evidenced by all the thought they put into trying to do the right thing.
There are plenty of bird owners who would never even question their ability, despite tremendous neglect.

I read a question on Quora once that broke me- a woman had bought a parakeet to keep in her office building, so she would have company while she was at work. The baby was alone all weekend. Thank God she had the sense to post about it and she got an earful from me and others. But this is just an example of how ignorant ppl can be about birds.

I got my first birbaby during Covid. When outside life started again due to the pandemic, we did get a buddy for our baby, so we wouldnā€™t feel guilty about going out for grocery shopping or dates :) they are not a bonded pair but itā€™s a night and day difference from when we had to leave our first bird alone.
I do think that made a big difference, as our baby was very attached to us.

I also want to mention something that has been a game changer.
The other thing we did was buy an Amazon Echo, a ring cam, and the biggest cage we could find. I have a Linnie and a budgie, so this 60ā€ cage is like a resort for them. It is decked out l with so their favorite stuff. They love it so much that they hardly miss us anymore when we go out, lol!
I donā€™t like leaving them out unsupervised obviouslyā€¦

If my husband and I have to leave for 4-6 hours , which is not super common but these days it happens- and a couple of times we had to take a short day trip or twoā€¦

We set up Amazon echo facing the cage, and there is a Ring cam we installed so we can look into the cage.

When we have to be out, if itā€™s been a few hours, I will check in on them on the Echo. They can see my face and voice, and I can see the cage- and using ring app I can see up close how they are, and they can hear my voice and talk to me through that as well. But Iā€™m able to also spy on them secretly through that.

In the meantime I can also play music or podcasts on the echo for them, remotely.

It is amazing how they react to seeing us, how they obviously miss us and are so happy to see us. It obviously really gives them a sense of safety and anchoring, plus they know what it means when we say ā€œweā€™ll be right back!ā€
I can also show them how Iā€™m going the grocery shopping, and honestly they love it!
I do like to bring them shopping but itā€™s not always practical and they seem to enjoy staying home these days.

Having this monitoring system in place means that I can feel happy and not anxious knowing my babies are ok, and I can see them. Iā€™m hyper anxious about them and always worried. I also have friends and family in the area that can check their waters if we are out for too long that day, and who could go over in case of an emergency.
The birds can see and hear us, and feel like we are all together, even if it is a bit of an illusion. I used to feel terrible about even leaving the house for even a few hours- especially when we just had our one bird, but now I feel like can actually have some adventures here and there. And they are very content. If we are in the car for a while, Iā€™ll just keep the video on so they can see and hear us talking, so it feels like we are there.
If I donā€™t check in on them through the echo, I will get a side eye when I get home. So I know it adds an emotional support for them.

Iā€™ve been wanting to give my ā€œreviewā€ of this method because I think a lot of bird people might love it too, im sure Iā€™m not the only one who does this of course.
But for someone who suddenly had less time, ie, had to start a job that wasnā€™t from home and leave their single bird at home all day - of course this makes me a little sad but, like OP said, if the person is a good loving owner otherwise and the bird is imprinted on them, it seems so sad to rehome unless really really really necessary.
In my thought experiment here, someone who has to leave their bird at home could interact with them through the Echo during the day, play music and podcasts, and it would be way better than nothing.

Obviously there will be cases where rehoming actually is best, but I agree with looking at it long term. Jobs change, situations change, life changes. Is whatever new situation you are looking at , really permanent?

For me, I wouldnā€™t rehome my birds any more than I would rehome a child. Im not trying to be patronizing or seem superior in ANY way. I just have that bond and attachment with these birds that I canā€™t and wonā€™t live without them- not for all the riches in the world. Like, at the risk of sounding insaneā€¦ Iā€™d rather die! My life revolves around them. So the world and everyone in it, will just have to revolve around them too!

Whatā€™s interesting is that people might think itā€™s odd, but they come to accept and respect that about me. šŸ˜…
Iā€™m sure that many others resonate with what Iā€™m saying. And I hope that no one thinks I am judging others for rehoming- I have had friends that did this, I totally get it. And I know I have small parrot privilege lol!


But I also hope this thread inspires some people to find creative solutions, to think long term, like some of the precious posters had said - 10 minutes is still ten minutes! I have a friend whose husband is a doctor and sometimes she doesnā€™t see him all week!
and, or, to feel more confident about prioritizing this huge commitment they have made, and expecting others (family, colleagues, bosses) to respect that choice. Because I think some pole do feel pressured to put birds on the back burner- after all , our society in general does not deem them as important as children or even cats and dogs.

For instance Iā€™m never going to work for or with someone who gets pissed off seeing a bird on my head during a zoom call. I canā€™t match that energy in my life, šŸ¤£ and something better will come along.
If I prioritize my birds in all aspects of my life, then life will work its way around that, and Iā€™ll attract situations that work with my lifestyle.

That being said, sometimes life just drops a bomb on you!
Plus, the desire to make the effort has to be there, and not all bird owners and gen-pop, are in love with their birds or birds in generalā€¦. How I wish we , as bird lovers, could change that :)
 
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