Guilt he’s not with me 24/7

[Macawdamia Nut]

Birds are perfectly happy doing “nothing.” We call it “me time” in my house. My macaw climbs up the stairs to sit on the 2nd floor banister. He looks out at his domain below or out the 24 foot tall window. He can sit there for hours just chilling out and dreaming of his next nut. We are outside on our patio now. He has been sitting in his “vacation condo” for 3 hours just preening, snoozing and chilling out while listening to the sounds of the fountain nearby or the wind blowing through the palm trees. He is as happy as a clam. Not interested in coming inside—even for a tasty snack.

Don’t feel guilty. Birds don’t have to be doing stuff all the time to be happy.

 

[BlueSeas]

Birds are perfectly happy doing “nothing.” We call it “me time” in my house. My macaw climbs up the stairs to sit on the 2nd floor banister. He looks out at his domain below or out the 24 foot tall window. He can sit there for hours just chilling out and dreaming of his next nut. We are outside on our patio now. He has been sitting in his “vacation condo” for 3 hours just preening, snoozing and chilling out while listening to the sounds of the fountain nearby or the wind blowing through the palm trees. He is as happy as a clam. Not interested in coming inside—even for a tasty snack.

Don’t feel guilty. Birds don’t have to be doing stuff all the time to be happy.

Thank you - I think I’ve really internalized some of the internet advice about parrot care, but to the nth degree and it’s become unhealthy. If he’s not doing anything, I feel I must intervene. If he’s in his bird room alone and doing nothing, I feel immense guilt and that it’s something I need to remedy immediately. But I also need time to myself that doesn’t involve supervising him.

Perhaps if he was a tame and cuddly boy I’d get some feedback to know that he is happy and content, but without that I just have to guess! I’d be happier if I knew he was slowly shredding a toy, or gazing out a window (he sometimes does do this), but if it’s just him and the radio and no other activity I do worry.

When he does eventually slow down with age I don’t know how I’ll cope

 

[rheashard2]

Thank you - I think I’ve really internalized some of the internet advice about parrot care, but to the nth degree and it’s become unhealthy. If he’s not doing anything, I feel I must intervene. If he’s in his bird room alone and doing nothing, I feel immense guilt and that it’s something I need to remedy immediately. But I also need time to myself that doesn’t involve supervising him.

Perhaps if he was a tame and cuddly boy I’d get some feedback to know that he is happy and content, but without that I just have to guess! I’d be happier if I knew he was slowly shredding a toy, or gazing out a window (he sometimes does do this), but if it’s just him and the radio and no other activity I do worry.

When he does eventually slow down with age I don’t know how I’ll cope

Birds being quiet and doing nothing is different from humans. He could be listening to radio/tv, preening, beak grinding, looking around, dozing, or like my grey evaluating how to remove the newly secured and full feed cup! Be aware, and alert. My first grey (acquired at 5 months) was quite, what I thought was minimally active, no mimic, some toy playing and foraging, only cheeping for nearly a year! Then he established his dictatorship!

 

[Macawdamia Nut]

Thank you - I think I’ve really internalized some of the internet advice about parrot care, but to the nth degree and it’s become unhealthy. If he’s not doing anything, I feel I must intervene. If he’s in his bird room alone and doing nothing, I feel immense guilt and that it’s something I need to remedy immediately. But I also need time to myself that doesn’t involve supervising him.

Perhaps if he was a tame and cuddly boy I’d get some feedback to know that he is happy and content, but without that I just have to guess! I’d be happier if I knew he was slowly shredding a toy, or gazing out a window (he sometimes does do this), but if it’s just him and the radio and no other activity I do worry.

When he does eventually slow down with age I don’t know how I’ll cope

If I did all the things that are recommended on parrot forums, I would go crazy. I have no bird room. My bird’s cage is minimally decorated with 2 chew toys and a swing. His swing dates back to 1985. It took him 10 years to even step foot on it. I don’t make chop or birdie bread. He only eats pellets if desperate. I throw a bunch of fruits and veggies on the counter in his “bird spot” and he chows down. Sometimes I don’t even cut up the fruit or veggies! We rough it in our house. My macaw is looking good for 54-ish. Heck, he looks good for a 5 year old! His avian vet tells me, “I don’t know what you’re doing, but keep on doing it!”

 

[rheashard2]

If I did all the things that are recommended on parrot forums, I would go crazy. I have no bird room. My bird’s cage is minimally decorated with 2 chew toys and a swing. His swing dates back to 1985. It took him 10 years to even step foot on it. I don’t make chop or birdie bread. He only eats pellets if desperate. I throw a bunch of fruits and veggies on the counter in his “bird spot” and he chows down. Sometimes I don’t even cut up the fruit or veggies! We rough it in our house. My macaw is looking good for 54-ish. Heck, he looks good for a 5 year old! His avian vet tells me, “I don’t know what you’re doing, but keep on doing it!”

Sounds like me to a large degree. You're lucky your macaw accepted that swing. My grey is still refusing hers after 11 years. Got it at a pet store going out of business sale. Thought about discarding or giving it away. Looking at prices for replacement banishes those thoughts. So now I have 'hope'! She touches it, but refuses to move it even a little. I honestly don't understand. She got on her skate board. I push her on it. That happened after 90 SECONDS of exposure!

 

[GaleriaGila]

Birds are perfectly happy doing “nothing.” We call it “me time” in my house. My macaw climbs up the stairs to sit on the 2nd floor banister. He looks out at his domain below or out the 24 foot tall window. He can sit there for hours just chilling out and dreaming of his next nut. We are outside on our patio now. He has been sitting in his “vacation condo” for 3 hours just preening, snoozing and chilling out while listening to the sounds of the fountain nearby or the wind blowing through the palm trees. He is as happy as a clam. Not interested in coming inside—even for a tasty snack.

Don’t feel guilty. Birds don’t have to be doing stuff all the time to be happy.

WORD!

 

[GaleriaGila]

I love this thread. I love this site. I love all you folks who love birds.
Thank you all for being here.

 

[Macawdamia Nut]

Sounds like me to a large degree. You're lucky your macaw accepted that swing. My grey is still refusing hers after 11 years. Got it at a pet store going out of business sale. Thought about discarding or giving it away. Looking at prices for replacement banishes those thoughts. So now I have 'hope'! She touches it, but refuses to move it even a little. I honestly don't understand. She got on her skate board. I push her on it. That happened after 90 SECONDS of exposure!

I do not know what finally possessed my bird to step on his swing after 10 years. For years 11 and 12 he stepped on his swing, but made sure to hook a toenail around the cage bar —just to be sure that the darned thing wouldn’t move! Now he is free swinging, but it was a long road. His swing is faded and ugly but no way am I changing it out! My bird does not do well with change or risk. You don’t get to his age by taking chances!

Have faith. Maybe you’ll be posting that your grey finally stepped on her swing after 12 years!

 

[BlueSeas]

My partner said to me yesterday, with clear pain on his face, how he wishes I could hear how I sound when I talk about myself. I was saying how I wanted my boy out in the evening because I was guilty that he wasn’t out much during the day… he was out, for hours, in pakobird indoors and outdoors. But I felt so bad because when I visited him that evening, he hadn’t been playing, and was just “chilling” for hours (thus my question earlier in the thread). He perked up right away when I entered and began to forage so I just kept thinking I’ve let him down and he needs more time out of cage.

Partner tries to reassure me that he has a great life and is well cared for. I always feel like I could be doing “more”. I really appreciate others confirming they do just have down time/chill time.

Also in particular about internet advice from elsewhere - I’m so glad people are saying they don’t follow it to the letter.