Family and friends Disaproving

[Birdlover11]

Have any of you guys grew up in a very judgy environment ? Then some of you might experienced that family and friends judging you on what bird you get. I can't tell you HOW many times my mom and dad told me I was wasting my money on 2 small budgies. Whenever a expensive looking parrot or macaw comes on tv she gives me the " look " and says " we would have had a actual PARROT if you used money wisely " . Now what I want to know is that WHAT kind of large parrot can you get for 40$ ? Pepsi and sprite have gave me more affection and happiness then any fancy eclectus or scarlet . Whenever I say in school I have a parrot everybody says " ooohh, can I see a picture ? " show them a pic and BAM . Loses interest . I don't blame them but A BUDGIE IS A PARROT TOO ! And don't get me started on talking parrots. Ugh . My parants say you could have at LEAST get one that talks , I can't tell you how many countless times I've showed them websites and explained that budgies are one of the best talkers in the world. They didn't believe me. I am getting prepared that if I get a sun conure in June they would say, " she's got the looks, but can she TALK ? "

Ugh

 

[Akraya]

My family just constantly tell me I can't travel now, that's their only argument, but I know they'll look after them when I save enough to visit the rest of my family in Europe
That sucks though, people are just not that educated outside the bird world, and I know I used to be one of them, take it with a grain of salt, you love your birds, they love you, that's all that matters at the end of the day

 

[ConureCrazy]

Ugh, my not intermediate family (cousins, aunts, grandmas, etc.) only care about my birds if they talk. My grandma once said, "Hey you should get one of those... um... Asian silvers! They talk really well, I saw one on TV." African grey!! UGH. My cousins constantly call budgies peacocks. *facepalm* My grandma came over and she says, "Why isn't it talking?! Make it talk!"

 

[WharfRat]

Who cares what others think?? It's your house and your life, right?. I said "goodbye" to my family years ago due to judgmental behavior, I don't miss the BS and the drama one iota! I'd go more in depth but it would be counter productive. Well that, and I can't cuss.:54: :11:

 

[khaiqha]

Whenever people find out I have a bird, they immediately want to know if it can talk. This is true especially for people who know a little about birds, and they find out I have an Alexandrine.

The thing is, I don't care if my bird talks, ever. I don't train for words/whistles, and the only things my bird knows are stuff it picked up itself or is something my friends have taught it.

I hate it when people are so concerned if my bird can talk or not, especially if the concern is coming from a "bird person." I get lectured every time I go to the pet store on how to teach my guy to talk. My bird doesn't bite, he's funny, he always steps up, he's even HOUSE TRAINED for crying out loud. It just doesn't matter to me if he talks or not.

On a side note, budgie voices sound completely terrifying to me when they do talk =P

 

[Featheredsamurai]

That sounds like it sucks People don't care if Rosie talks or not.

My mom had cockatiels, lovebirds, and budgies when she was in her 20's so she likes birds. Her big concern is how much I pay attention to Rosie and not my own life. Today I asked if I could put Rosie in her room while I go camping next weekend, if not I wouldn't go because I won't have Rosie stuck in my room all by herself. My mom got so irritated at me when I said that! She said she'll make me get rid of "the bird", that's what she calls Rosie when she's mad, because she gets in the way of me being social. Jeez, that's pretty harsh. She wouldn't really make me get rid of her though, she knows how attached I am to her.

My brother is really annoying, he thinks Rosie's dust is going to make everyone sick. I often let her sit on a kitchen chair as I eat, and sometimes she gets scared and flies to me. When this happens he complains and says "Yeah, you only care about your bird and not about getting everyone sick." It's so annoying, when he gets really mad he threatens to leave the door open or throw Rosie outside, so then I get mad and tell him how disgusting my nephew is(his son) and that he's going to make everyone sick. he's also the reason I couldn't keep a cockatiel I found and tamed(he now lives with a BFF though and I see him). He couldn't stand how loud Dante was, Dante would call non stop when I left(he new the sound of my car) and called for 20-30 minutes.

My brother also doesn't care in the summer when upstairs is hot. I want to bring Rosie downstairs but he won't let me because he throws a huge fit when I turn the ceiling fan off, even when we have multiple fans available and it's 10-15 degrees cooler downstairs. My room doesn't get that hot, but I'd rather hang out with Rosie downstairs were it's much cooler then be stuck with her.

 

[Thingamagigs]

I have many woeful stories of my parents and birds. My parents are rather accepting of birds but they feel pets, especially birds, are a disposable item. If they get too loud, too expensive, moving house, got a new pet thats not compatible... get rid of them. When I was in hospital and my parents were bird sitting my beloved galah Larry... he went missing. Just two weeks before my mother had been pressuring me to sell him because I was in hospital and I didn't know when I would be out. She would not allow him to come out of his cage within the house. The story is he "flew away".

I guess I will never know what really happened.

 

[Featheredsamurai]

I have many woeful stories of my parents and birds. My parents are rather accepting of birds but they feel pets, especially birds, are a disposable item. If they get too loud, too expensive, moving house, got a new pet thats not compatible... get rid of them. When I was in hospital and my parents were bird sitting my beloved galah Larry... he went missing. Just two weeks before my mother had been pressuring me to sell him because I was in hospital and I didn't know when I would be out. She would not allow him to come out of his cage within the house. The story is he "flew away".

I guess I will never know what really happened.

That's so terrible! I forgot that happened to you. It makes my eyes tear up just imagining how your mom feels about pets and what happened to Larry

 

[Oedipussrex]

): some of the things here make me think my family isn't so bad. I only want to leave because of human reasons not pet reasons. They don't mind my pets as long as i clean up after them as i should, and don't rely on them to do anything pet-chore related too often.

Before i read all the comments OP made me laugh a little though when you quoted "if you used money wisely" lol XD
My parents are the complete opposite and CANNOT FATHOM why i would have spent more than a thousand dollars for a loud, demanding poop machine, with bolt cutters on its face. ;D
DEFINETLY a wise investment of money right there. haha

Pickle taught himself to talk a little so i dont get that one too often, but every time a new person meets him i have to explain why hes bald and i feel like i am expected to reassure them, the complete strangers to him, when they put on their pitying face for him X_X Its quite annoying.
Especially when its an old person who's like "I had a cockatoo that used to do that, we stopped giving him peanuts and he stopped therefore what your parrot has is completely reversible." I usually just avoid the point until they leave. -_-

 

[Thingamagigs]

That's so terrible! I forgot that happened to you. It makes my eyes tear up just imagining how your mom feels about pets and what happened to Larry

Of all the things I could dislike my parents for (including that they refused to help me get a loan to pay for my life saving surgery... while buying my sister a car at the exact same time) the fact that they lost/sold my closest buddy at a time I needed him the most is still top of the list.

When I read what your brother says about rosie (opening the door to let her out etc) it makes my blood boil! Been there too! One of my mothers threats had been if I don't sell him she'll just leave the door open and let him go free. I have no tolerance for those kinds of threats!! Your brother needs to stop that, if he loved you he would understand your bond and not stand in the way.

Sorry for the rant, I blame the corella based headache I currently have. lol

 

[faeryphoebe1]

I have many woeful stories of my parents and birds. My parents are rather accepting of birds but they feel pets, especially birds, are a disposable item. If they get too loud, too expensive, moving house, got a new pet thats not compatible... get rid of them. When I was in hospital and my parents were bird sitting my beloved galah Larry... he went missing. Just two weeks before my mother had been pressuring me to sell him because I was in hospital and I didn't know when I would be out. She would not allow him to come out of his cage within the house. The story is he "flew away".

I guess I will never know what really happened.

That is awful. 12 years ago, I was hospitalized for depression and my mother had my Yorkie put to sleep because "he was old". It was a cruel, passive-aggressive move. My mother was extremely angry with me over what I was going through. She found it to be embarrassing for the family. Whenever my mother comes over she tells Trixie: "Well, what are you good for? You can't even talk". My GCC can talk. She just hates my mother and doesn't speak in her presence.
Budgies are beautiful, intelligent creatures. People who can't appreciate that are simply narrow minded individuals.

 

[Thingamagigs]

That is awful. 12 years ago, I was hospitalized for depression and my mother had my Yorkie put to sleep because "he was old". It was a cruel, passive-aggressive move. My mother was extremely angry with me over what I was going through. She found it to be embarrassing for the family. Whenever my mother comes over she tells Trixie: "Well, what are you good for? You can't even talk". My GCC can talk. She just hates my mother and doesn't speak in her presence.
Budgies are beautiful, intelligent creatures. People who can't appreciate that are simply narrow minded individuals.

Oh my gosh!!!! That is horrifically cruel. Your mother sounds similar to mine. I can not even fathom how little she cared about my feelings... or your mother yours! I have a daughter now... and if she was going through a tough time, the last thing I would do is take away her best mate in the world! I am so sorry you had to go through that especially being in such a bad place at the time. I had just had an emergency caesar for my daughter, she was in the premmie ICU at 2.5months early. I had a pulmonary embolism and the tumour that was discovered during my pregnancy had ruptured and I was bleeding to death so I was in the adults ICU. I got to the point I was having daily blood transfusions to stay alive before the in-laws paid for my surgery. I came so close to passing on and all my mother could do was take my buddy away from me.

 

[Kiwibird]

My parents don't really care what kind of pets I have as an adult, so long as they're being cared for (and Kiwi has been spoiled rotten since the day we brought him home ). I grew up with their 3 parrots, and have loved/been fascinated with birds my entire life, so adopting a parrot was an obvious choice for me when I felt I was responsible enough to take on a pet. As for my extended family, they cannot imagine why my husband and I would choose a parrot instead of a dog or cat. Most of them don't like my parents birds, since they are messy and loud, and don't understand how I "didn't learn my lesson" as a kid growing up with them. I don't understand how they don't see that virtually every kind of pet has some "annoyances", and it's a personal choice what you can or cannot put up with. I could never personally put up with an indoor dog/cat shedding/getting dirt all over my furniture, barking at all hours of the night, and the thought of cleaning dog poop really freaks me out. I wouldn't ever be a very responsible dog/cat owner, and I wouldn't ever own an animal I knew I wouldn't care for properly. None of my extended family has ever bothered to even meet Kiwi (they don't come around to our house or my parents house), and I can tell they cringe inside when I show them a cute picture of him. When we first got him, we paid a "rehoming" fee of $350, and I remember my one uncle asking me "you paid what for a used bird with no papers?!". I tried to explain we just wanted to get him out of the situation he was in, and the fact he had no papers (I'm not even sure parrots ever have pedigrees) didn't matter since he was a living, breathing being, not a showpiece. I can completely understand your frustration.

I think your family needs to butt out of your choices in pets. Not everyone is suited to larger parrots, and some people have simply felt a closer bond to a parakeet than they did a larger species. It would also help if your friends and family were more informed that animals of any size are precious individuals dependent on our love and proper care, not a glorified decoration to show off. So long as you love and properly care for your keets', and get joy and love back from them, that's all that matters. They are perfectly lovely little parrots, and you can just start telling people "good things come in small packages" :09:

 

[Birdlover11]

Can't believe so many bird owners have been through this I was interested in birds after I stopped breeding betta fish. They live long and give affection like a dog. I saw a sun conure at a bird rescue in a aquarium exhibit. I instantly fell in love. I researched and saw how much care and love they need, I didnt own any birds then, so I wasn't sure then. I decided I needed to own a bird to figure out if I'm really cut out for it. So I went for the budgies. After owning Pepsi and sprite they have givin me so much love and security that I thought " why does everybody underestimate them ? They are as affectionate and caring as a cockatoo ." I still was determined to get a sunny, so I made a deal with my mom if I do good in school. To me, let's are companions, to my family they are something to show off for. It disappoints them that I got a budgie. I told them once, I was joking but didn't let I show , " fine , you want a macaw ? Just give me 20 thousand dollars and get insurance on your furniture. Also, buy me a 5 thousand dollar cage. " that gave me some reasurrance that they won't ask again for a while. My parants know that I always take good care of my pets, so they are not concerned about that.

 

[MikeyTN]

My family didn't used to be big on pets BUT when we were younger we had a dog named Vickie, she changed their view completely. She was one of the smartest dogs that I've ever known. My family didn't used to like birds either until they met Cracker the Quaker, they fell in love with him completely cause he was so smart and funny. Since then, my family do not judge my birds at all. They all have come to terms that I have the love for animals as they've always known. So they just go with it now days. BUT I must keep it clean or they will say something....lol

 

[faeryphoebe1]

That is awful. 12 years ago, I was hospitalized for depression and my mother had my Yorkie put to sleep because "he was old". It was a cruel, passive-aggressive move. My mother was extremely angry with me over what I was going through. She found it to be embarrassing for the family. Whenever my mother comes over she tells Trixie: "Well, what are you good for? You can't even talk". My GCC can talk. She just hates my mother and doesn't speak in her presence.
Budgies are beautiful, intelligent creatures. People who can't appreciate that are simply narrow minded individuals.

Oh my gosh!!!! That is horrifically cruel. Your mother sounds similar to mine. I can not even fathom how little she cared about my feelings... or your mother yours! I have a daughter now... and if she was going through a tough time, the last thing I would do is take away her best mate in the world! I am so sorry you had to go through that especially being in such a bad place at the time. I had just had an emergency caesar for my daughter, she was in the premmie ICU at 2.5months early. I had a pulmonary embolism and the tumour that was discovered during my pregnancy had ruptured and I was bleeding to death so I was in the adults ICU. I got to the point I was having daily blood transfusions to stay alive before the in-laws paid for my surgery. I came so close to passing on and all my mother could do was take my buddy away from me.

You went through so much and pulled through, only to get home and face such sadness. I'm so sorry. It sounds like we've both had our "Mommy Dearest" moments, for certain.

 

[Abigal7]

Have any of you guys grew up in a very judgy environment ? Then some of you might experienced that family and friends judging you on what bird you get. I can't tell you HOW many times my mom and dad told me I was wasting my money on 2 small budgies. Whenever a expensive looking parrot or macaw comes on tv she gives me the " look " and says " we would have had a actual PARROT if you used money wisely " . Now what I want to know is that WHAT kind of large parrot can you get for 40$ ? Pepsi and sprite have gave me more affection and happiness then any fancy eclectus or scarlet . Whenever I say in school I have a parrot everybody says " ooohh, can I see a picture ? " show them a pic and BAM . Loses interest . I don't blame them but A BUDGIE IS A PARROT TOO ! And don't get me started on talking parrots. Ugh . My parants say you could have at LEAST get one that talks , I can't tell you how many countless times I've showed them websites and explained that budgies are one of the best talkers in the world. They didn't believe me. I am getting prepared that if I get a sun conure in June they would say, " she's got the looks, but can she TALK ? "
Ugh

Budgies are great parrots so do not let them get you down. What mattesr if you like your birds and are happy with them. I have some young adult coworkers who when I talk about my green cheek conure and tell them how she will sit on my shoulder, preens my hair, loves head scratches, etc but they lose intrest after asking and finding out she does not talk. That said my parents are different then your family. I told them recently how my dream bird is a Macaw. My dad is hesitant and says that is a pretty big bird to have. My mom thinks large parrots are big beaked birds just waiting to bite off your finger. She says a Macaw can bite off your finger, it will hurt your dog. I know a coworker that never had birds that wants a large talking bird (I kind of cringe at that). Good luck with your sun conure. I am on the waiting list for a hahns macaw. I told my mom and I had to reassure her that it would not grow big enough to cause big damage on me and that I have a avian vet who can keep the bird's beak buffed. I know mini macaws are not that smallest bird but they are smaller then the large macaws.

 

[FineFeatheredFriend]

Don't get down on yourself. You have to understand that these comments are coming from non-bird people. The only thing non-bird people really care about is, "does your bird talk"?

Parrot owners have a special love and understanding for their birds. Next time if someone gives you a hard time then inform them that the bird that holds the record for the most words is a parakeet! Not a African Grey, not a Amazon but a small sweet budgie!

I don't own a budgie but I once saw a woman with it on her arm. I was totally drawn into the bird. I could not stop looking as if I never seen a budgie before. A lot of people start experiencing bird ownership with a budgie. Peace be to you.

 

[ruffledfeathers]

Budgies are awesome birds!! One of my most favorite birds. Truly, i would choose to have Percy again, and have a Percy with the life span of a larger parrot. I moved away from budgies solely for a longer lifespan. My budgie was actually my best trained and had the largest vocabulary of my birds. (My budgie had a larger vocab than many of my "real parrot" friends' birds---using that term sarcastically!)
I feel sad.....you know what a lot of it is? They are inexpensive. If you called your budgie some fancy name and said he was extremely rare and costly, people would 'respect' him more. UGH this makes me mad.
but think of it this way--we are the lucky ones who get to know all about them like a hidden treasure.

 

[Featheredsamurai]

That is awful. 12 years ago, I was hospitalized for depression and my mother had my Yorkie put to sleep because "he was old". It was a cruel, passive-aggressive move. My mother was extremely angry with me over what I was going through. She found it to be embarrassing for the family. Whenever my mother comes over she tells Trixie: "Well, what are you good for? You can't even talk". My GCC can talk. She just hates my mother and doesn't speak in her presence.
Budgies are beautiful, intelligent creatures. People who can't appreciate that are simply narrow minded individuals.

Oh my gosh!!!! That is horrifically cruel. Your mother sounds similar to mine. I can not even fathom how little she cared about my feelings... or your mother yours! I have a daughter now... and if she was going through a tough time, the last thing I would do is take away her best mate in the world! I am so sorry you had to go through that especially being in such a bad place at the time. I had just had an emergency caesar for my daughter, she was in the premmie ICU at 2.5months early. I had a pulmonary embolism and the tumour that was discovered during my pregnancy had ruptured and I was bleeding to death so I was in the adults ICU. I got to the point I was having daily blood transfusions to stay alive before the in-laws paid for my surgery. I came so close to passing on and all my mother could do was take my buddy away from me.

My grandmother is that way When my mom was growing up she had a little white dog that she loved, and without any warning my grandmother took her to the pound while my mom was at school. I have a small amount of worry about my mom doing that, but I also really don't think she would. My mom's pretty awesome, but she's always telling me if I don't go out and do stuff because of Rosie she will make me give her away, which I would never do. She also thinks Rosie is the reason I feel so conflicted about school when in reality it's because everyone is always telling me my work is only ok and I need to do better, or that all I do is take pretty pictures with no depth to it