HELP! My buddy hates me!

Hey all,

SUPER LONG

Old member but can't find my account. Anyways in 2009 I took in a rehome aggressive Caique. We worked together and he bonded and we were great....for 9 years... Then we took in another rehome. Only for about a month but during that time my Skittles just lost it. One day i was taking him off a lamp (cause he decided he wanted to be there). I carried him from the lamp back to his counter top perch so my daughter could play with him. 2 inches from the perch he latched on. Hard. Had to put him upside down on his back on the ground to let go.

Bleeding I washed my hand and picked him up again, this time to his cage to show him that was not okay as I've done in the past when he nipped. Never been ripped up before. Then he went nuts, ripping my skin. Again I had to upside down remove him and shake to get him to stop.

From that day I his owner, his mom, heck the one he'd try to make babies on my leg, I was his enemy. And now my step daughter is his person. I could live with that but I feed him every morning, and he tries to kill me. I give him his normal treats when good and talk to him and say goodbye when i leave like normal but he just screams back.

When we realized Skittles also hated this new bird that was in the home but he was never in contact with we told the owners it was not working out. I thought my birdie would come back to me...but he didn't. It gets worse and worse every day.

Yesterday my step daughter was cleaning his cage out and he refused to go back in, she got scared. So my husband got him but he started to latch on but stopped. If anyone is holding him and I so much as walk by his wings are up and he attacks.

I ended up pregnant and had the baby a year ago (mind you I've been working on rebuilding my trust with him now for 2 years). He hates the baby as much as he hates me and if he sees him he tries to attack him.

We can't bring Skittles out now unless it's quiet and everyone else is out of the house and I'm no where in site.

This morning I went to do our normal feeding routine and he went through the bowl door to latch on and drew blood. I picked him up with a perch and laid him back in his cage. No Drama, no running attack which is good but the desire to murder me and the baby is getting to the point no one trusts him.

He's always been aggressive and a screamer but now I'm his trigger.

Apart from re-homing I don't know what to do. He's obviously a danger to me that's okay, as long as my daughter can still play with him but even she is starting to get scared. He's about 15 years old now. This all started 2 years ago. The baby is now walking and we don't let him in that room but one day...one day he could escape and i'm terrified he will lose a finger to his bird.

Anyway....I want my buddy back or I want him to have a home that can play with him, i'm worried he may not recover and always be an attack bird.

He's fed a rather expensive mix of foods from Bird Paradise (their house blends since i got him, so for about the 11 years) plus we make toys for him and buy him tons to tear up in the cage. He gets food we have cooking when we make noodles etc. His cage is huge, made for a macaw really, we have window perches, sand java perches etc but all he wants to do is get down from everything and find me to kill me or the baby.

My husband wants to re-home him, he said it was an issue getting an aggressive consignment bird to start with but when i was the one playing with him all was fine, he doesn't like the screaming and he no longer trusts the bird enough to play with him. I don't think he will find a good home as an aggressive bird, but getting stuck in his cage isn't great either if my daughter gets too scared to play with him.

I miss my bird...

I've read everything I can on devil birds and chances of recovery but it's been two years, no help, it's just getting worse.

Welcome to you and Skittles, thanks for a thorough introduction. I don't know the typical caique personality, so my observations are going to be rather generic.

Appears his baseline personality is aggressive, but the second rehome triggered a lasting hostility. Typically parrots will calm down after an explosive episode, seems a "switch" was flipped. If you have access to a certified avian vet, a "well check" including labs will determine whether an underlying physical condition is partially responsible. (many vets in the U.S. are open during the COVID epidemic)

Dietary issues may be a factor. Does he eat fresh veggies and fruits in addition to Bird Paradise blend? Is the mix rich with high-fat seeds such as sunflower and safflower?

You can attempt to "reset" the relationship by focusing on bonding and building trust. Some of the techniques to bond and build trust may prove helpful. A good starting point is to hang out next to his cage, reading and talking to him. http://www.parrotforums.com/general-parrot-information/49144-tips-bonding-building-trust.html

Thanks for the feedback. Their blend has no fatty seeds at all, it's a pretty terrific food and i get the added peppers and fruits added. He gets home cooked foods from us but no regular fruit schedule since we don't keep much fruit in the house (fruit flies are the death of me from his "soup" he makes in his water daily). More so pastas and veggies and cooked bird foods I get with his food shipments. Because he won't let me give him much he takes it throws it to the ground I have to have someone else give him his foods so he will actually eat them.

Image of his food attached.

I moved my work from home area to be in the room adjacent to him for now so he can hear me (maybe 10 feet from his cage but to side wall), if he hears me talk he screams during my conference calls. I'm hoping this works in another week for me to move my desk in his actual view not just listening area. We have also moved our sewing area next to him too but he just gets really mad when i'm there and waits for me to stand and charges the cage.

I'll work on a wellness check for Skittles for testing. He had all the normal stuff done for diseases back when we got him but no blood work since.

Seems we can rule out high-fat diet as contributor to aggression!

Another tactic is to clip his wings. Generally a controversial topic, but a proven technique to attempt taming of aggression. He will be immediately aware - or at first attempt to fly. I favor bilateral as opposed to single wing clip. Resorted to clipping with one of my closely bonded Goffins. She was untenable so I took her for a well-check. Vet suggested clipping as attitude adjustment, and it worked well. No need for repeat! In Skittles case, the behavior is far more entrenched, but worth a try.

I have a bird issue almost just like yours only mines going on for around 10years give or take. my blue was my friend. then about after six years or so I took in another parrot a female (blue is a male) One fateful day i usually had him give a kiss when i put him on the play stand when i didn't read his body language and he bit down on both lips... terrified i smacked and he landed on the floor screaming... picked him up with a stick and set him back on the stand and game over since then he has wanted to rip me up every time i get to close. the female angel is my bud and him and her have bonded so if I re-home it has to both of them together SO I know your pain

Scott said:

Seems we can rule out high-fat diet as contributor to aggression!

Another tactic is to clip his wings. Generally a controversial topic, but a proven technique to attempt taming of aggression. He will be immediately aware - or at first attempt to fly. I favor bilateral as opposed to single wing clip. Resorted to clipping with one of my closely bonded Goffins. She was untenable so I took her for a well-check. Vet suggested clipping as attitude adjustment, and it worked well. No need for repeat! In Skittles case, the behavior is far more entrenched, but worth a try.

Click to expand...

He has never actually figured out how to fly , more of a flap and crash sort of thing but it's definitely worth a try. Thanks!

moon1964 said:

I have a bird issue almost just like yours only mines going on for around 10years give or take. my blue was my friend. then about after six years or so I took in another parrot a female (blue is a male) One fateful day i usually had him give a kiss when i put him on the play stand when i didn't read his body language and he bit down on both lips... terrified i smacked and he landed on the floor screaming... picked him up with a stick and set him back on the stand and game over since then he has wanted to rip me up every time i get to close. the female angel is my bud and him and her have bonded so if I re-home it has to both of them together SO I know your pain

Click to expand...

Oh noooo ...i really don't want to see him this angry for that long. Can you even handle your bird anymore or a solid no? Skittles is a male and the bird we tried to take in was a female as well so i think that's what set him off. Just wish i could fix it.

View attachment 24221UPDATE:

Doing some of the clicker training as I walk up to him at this cage. He's resorted to jumping to attack now but will take treats from me once we complete each click training and I get to the cage door. (training from the recommendation above)

My step daughter has been bringing him out to the window next to my work station and her work area for homeschooling. He plays there and eyes me up. Only once has he dropped down to try and get closer to me. We tried a little clicker training here as well.

Just some progress, bird likes me no more though just yet.

Haven't gotten a new vet yet, had to put down a tumor ridden kitty last week so that's been a bit of the focus for the kids . 3 years and two surgeries and the mast cell tumors completely took over

I've called the groomer to see how they are taking birds during covid for wings and nails so i can get that done this week.

I would check out BirdTricks on Youtube or Instagram. They are really helpful and might be able to help you a lot more ( They are really really nice and give awesome advice/training tips)

I've read in several places that Caiques can loose it if a second bird is introduced after the first bird has been established in the household, to the point of killing the new one. More than one story on this happening, and my all bird store contacts say the same thing.
At least you are making some progress.

This is another reason why I caution people about getting or taking in a second parrot. It can so backfire.

I do feel sorry for you. I bought another green thigh caique they have their separate cages but I do let them out every day together the new one can't fly very well and my little boy with bite her when he gets a mood on him. they will both sit on my lap no problem and play, it's when I am not there to supervise. I have a big aviary for them and they will squabble in that so now I have separated that.
getting back to your bird have you tried moving his cage into another room, a room that he has not been into and start your training from there. the reason I say this is when I put the birds in the kitchen they don't squabble it's a place that neither had been into, I have even caught them cuddled up together. it's worth a try. good luck.

UPDATE: We've seen the vet, he got blood work taken that came back all healthy and normal. No need for wing or beak trim. He did cut his nails. The doctor is pointing to all hormones, that Skittles is only into one thing and that's nesting for babies. That is why he isn't playing anymore and becoming aggressive. So the therapy...first is Lupron shots which I had myself once, they after a few rounds should knock back the hormones for a time. While that is happening we are going to do cage shock therapy and birdie time out. I'm going to redo his cage with no hut or house, nothing to make him thing it's his nest spot. We will move all perches and we will keep his food we are doing but put all that food into new foraging toys only and only put pellets into the easy to get bowl.

From there anytime we take him out he has to have a purpose, a trick, bath, something to do, sing, dance etc. No just sitting and perching on chair behind my daughter, that allows for too much mate bonding right now.

No cuddles, no back pets nothing from her.

Then if he's bad, we will clean a very old cage i have in the basement, smaller more fit for a conure that will be placed in my bedroom away from everyone for birdy time out. If he's bad or crazy he gets a time out away from family and our noises.

We got the shot down, next shot is in another week. Today we redo his cage and food and then go from there.

EDIT- I JUST saw your message above! Ignore the parts in this that no longer reply--I wrote it based on your original post! Whoops!

Okay- so lots going on here....You mentioned that your bird used to try to make babies on your leg. It sounds like you may have led him on inadvertently (through a combination of behavioral and environmental factors). When this happens, it is not uncommon for a sexually frustrated bird to eventually lash out at the object of their affection (especially since this behavior occurs most in the presence of others)...That is why it is SO important to frame your relationship as a non-sexual one....

THESE ALL APPLY TO EVERYONE WHO INTERACTS WITH YOUR BIRD EVER:

1. NEVER pet anywhere other than the head or neck (even if the bird lets you).
2. Do not allow access to any shadowy spaces (snuggle huts, tents, boxes, under clothing, under furniture, in drawers, low shelves, in cushions on a couch, under blankets etc).
3. 10-12 hours of quality sleep nightly on a set schedule.
4. Only ever cover the cage when the bird is in bed--never before and never during the day.
5. Interactions should revolve around more than just petting/touching..think games/training etc.

So, your bird likely lashed out because of sexual frustration and hormones + probable jealousy or mate-defending (first your daughter, then the new bird, and now the baby)---Those were all likely perceived as "threats" to your relationship..plus, he was sexually frustrated and you never reciprocated in the way he wanted *cough*...so there was a lot going on in terms of hormones (which intensify behavior) and instinct...

Remember, when he first bit you, you tried to take him to YOUR DAUGHTER....that is not likely a coincidence...He likely didn't want to be with her, OR didn't want YOU to be near her, so he bit you because of your proximity to her...and because he was under the influence of strong hormones.

I could be wrong, but no matter what, he had a reason for biting you and there were likely cues (even though you didn't see them)..All of this likely ties back to those hormones, your complicated "mate" relationship and jealously over other "threats" to your relationship...

SO, in his mind, you weren't getting the hint about something important, so he bit you. When he bit you, it destroyed some more trust on both ends (because it happened more than once and you were not reading his signals, but also because of the way you had to remove him, and likely, your reaction in general). That sounds accusatory and it isn't meant to be-- it is easy to make that mistake, but I am just telling you what I think happened. They don't LIKE biting people (it is a sign that they are stressed/fearful/mad etc and there are always a lot of cues leading up to it--even if we miss them).

This is likely about your relationship, hormones and jealously and all sorts of things that sprung from the confused relationship you had when things *SEEMED* to be going well....

I am going to post some stuff about ABA--- Applied Behavior Analysis. It is wordy and boring but it works when you re-frame the way you see behaviors....it can make a huge difference, but everyone has to be on-board....

Final thought BEFORE I post any of that:
1. If he has ANY even remotely shadowy spaces in his cage, removed them!
2. make sure he is getting AT LEAST 10 SOLID hours of sleep a night (12 is better)
3. Look into his diet (he should be eating very few seeds, lots of veggies and quality pellets)...Avoid excess sugar and preservatives.
4. If he hasn't been to the vet, you should have him checked-- anytime there is a massive change in behavior, that is important...I am pretty certain this is hormonal/behavioral, but they need to go to the vet at least 1x yearly, and if at all possible, it should be an avian certified vet (not just an exotics vet, unless you are certain that there are no other options).

I will post the ABA stuff in a different message.