Tsali deserves more...

[Tami2]

I'm sorry you are feeling sad and overwhelmed w/ your current situation. :heart:
Let me just say, this to shall pass.

If your bond w/ Tsali is as strong as it sounds. And you've researched for 10 years prior to getting him. I'm a little confused, is it not what you anticipated?

Why not wait, make the move and see how well Tsali adapts.
Grey's are such social creatures and always want to be with their flock/family. That in the end the smaller space most likely won't even matter to him. As long as he's with his loved ones.

We have two homes our primary & a cabin in the woods. The cabin is smaller and an open airy layout. Even though Levi is pretty much always w/ us at both places. He seems to prefer the smaller living area more so than our primary home. It is so noticeable that I actually mentioned it to my husband. He agreed and also felt it was probably b/c the living space was smaller and more intimate. At the cabin his cage is in the main living area. Whereas his cage is in another room at our primary home.

In all honesty, I think you are missing the priority. If he loves you and is bonded to you it won't matter how big your home is. As long as you are all together.

I am glad you are rethinking the sanctuary. B/c that clearly would not be in his best interest.

I can't even imagine boarding my Levi with strangers, in an unfamiliar place & having to spend all his days caged. He would be scared, confused, miserable and depressed.

Please take a deep breath, and take your time thinking this through.
What's in his best interest is staying with the family he knows and loves.

 

[wrench13]

That is a disturbing post.I have been following you and Tsali since I've been on here. I feel the bond you have. If at all possible try to work with him onhis zapping sound, it can be done! And jezz greys don't come any better that Tsali. I think if you rehome him, the both of you are going to be miserable.

 

[Sunnyclover]

Agreed...it seems like a Chandelier and an annoying sound can be easily overcome. Birds...they make noise and destroy stuff. Birds will be birds, gotta love em!

 

[Bryce]

The chandelier is already damaged, so you could just replace it with a luminaire of more durable construction. Or clip your bird's wings? Mine is flighted and I like her that way, but man, if it was between that or rehoming her, I'd definitely clip her.

I dunno. I don't want to be mean but this basically sounds like "my parrot makes noise and destroys things so I'm getting rid of it." I thought pretty much everyone knows that parrots make noise and destroy things?

The ANSI/ISO Standard Parrot Feature Set!

• Makes Noise
• Destroys Things
• Bites Randomly
• Makes Messes

 

[Soyajam]

All I can say Tsali is that I understand. I've had my bird for a few months and I still don't feel the bond I'd hoped.
(See this post for more, and my own rant: http://www.parrotforums.com/general...myself-second-thoughts-about-parronthood.html)

If you love your bird, then I would say to work at it. From what others have said you do, so it might just be a case of sitting down, taking a breath and looking clearly at what is bothering you.
If these two things are it, you can fix them.

I'd even say that if you're feeling overwhelmed, have you considering boarding him for a few weeks to clear your head? That'll give you a chance to have some time to yourself, take a look at that chandelier and consider your options properly.

If you find that doing this doesn't help and you're really in agony over the whole thing, and everyone is really suffering - then rehoming is not something to be ashamed of. Take your time finding the right one if you can.

However, and I think this is what other members agree with - it may be a case of 'this too shall pass'. Birds like Tsali live a long time, so what is a couple of months, really?

*Sam should really take her own advice*

 

[Terry57]

I just want to interject here that she is asking for advice and support, and it helps if all the posts are read rather than just the first one. Let's do what we do so wonderfully here and give her some support and helpful suggestions rather than judgements. This is obviously a terribly hard decision for her.

 

[chris-md]

The thing with the noise is that you can’t just tell them what not to do. It’s easier to teach them what TO do. Your key here isn’t just ignoring the sound or outright walking away when the sound is made (both of which you should be doing, consistently every time without fail). That’s just one side of the equation. The other side is to - please forgive my language but the strength is poignant and necessary - reward the ever loving ***k out of another desirable sound.

If he makes ANY sound that isn’t the annoying sound, reward it immediately....every time...consistently...without fail. You’ll see the beginnings of a shift in a week or two.

If he makes the sound while sitting on you, he gets put down somewhere out of the way. If he continues to make the sound while there, stay away. Come running with treats the second he makes some other sound.

Keep treats within arms reach AT ALL TIMES.

 

[SilverSage]

Some really good advice has been given here, but I hope we can all realize that an annoying sound and a pretty light aren’t going to lead someone to the levels of desperation and despair in this post. The OP has been part of our forum flock for a while now and we know how dearly this parrot is loved. What can seem like a temporary, trivial thing on the internet can be a life altering, world shattering thing in real life. The OP has said that some huge things are happening in her life that are by no means trivial or temporary.

Maybe the advice shared here will help her find a solution where Tsali is able to stay with her, or maybe she will feel his best life is elsewhere. Either way I hope we will all support her through this process.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

 

[Sunnyclover]

Is it possible that every time your AG makes the annoying sound you put him on the floor? Unless they already like being on the floor then that's not going to work but if not it could work. I know many parrot owners who use this as a way to teach a parrot not to do something. Then as someone has already said, when Tsali makes a desired sound reward it by giving a treat and praising endlessly. I think it will work after a while if you are willing to be relentless about it. I also agree that maybe clipping the wings could sort out a lot of stuff because not only will Tsali not ruin your chandelier, you might feel a little less overwhelmed. I know that seems odd but it maybe just what you need. If you aren't able to handle Tsali anymore please please please find someone who will give Tsali a good home and take your time!

 

[AmyMyBlueFront]

She also has a LOT on her plate right now...dealing with her ill hubby!
It is obvious she loves BOTH of them! Hubby needs her more than EVER right now,and that is 1000% understandable!
Two TOTALLY different situations,but BOTH very heart breaking :02:

I wish I could give you a huge hug,and tell you "everything will work out" but I can't! :02: I truly understand it being heart wrenching to you.

Is it possible for you to "foster" Tsali out for a time being??? Until hubby is better/more stable,and you can take a deep breath,and "life" becomes a bit more stable for both of you? "We" don't know what you are dealing with,with a man you have been with for over 40 years and it is NOT your duty to inform us!
It is personal and private! ( in my book at least!)

I had a Grey for nearly 30 years until she flew off to Rainbow Bridge a couple years ago :02: and know how they are/can be.
Where on this huge planet do you reside?? Like I asked,would you consider fostering for a time being? Until your and hubby's life become a bit more steady and less stressful???



Jim

 

[Tsali]

I want to thank ALL of my Parrot Forum Family for your responses, your care and passion. It is impossible to understand another's life circumstances unless you have lived in their shoes.

Although it may not seem like it to many of you , my greatest concern is that Tsali have the best possible life for the rest of his life. Had I been able to foresee into the future, this magnificent Grey wouldn't be sitting on my shoulder, contently grooming himself, fully flighted. He would have been sold to someone else who had the $$ to take him home.

As it is, I was unaware that my life would so drastically change with my husband's illness, that my nerves would shatter and that Tsali's loud whistling would reek havoc on my sanity. Unfortunately my husband's situation isn't a temporary circumstance, it is permanent - meaning I am going to have to make many life changes. My primary concern Tsali is to find the best possible environment for him where he can flourish. Tsali was raised to expect the unexpected, to be outgoing, and brave - maybe he is rare Grey, but he enjoys interacting with people and he isn't phobic. He pretty much takes new adventures in stride. I believe with all my heart that he will adapt and continue his life, a happy healthy bird. I am not so arrogant to believe that I am the only person that can be his human flock.

Again, I do thank you for your passion and for taking the time to express your concerns.

 

[FlyBirdiesFly]

I have been closely following this thread and all I have to say is, I hope this all works out.
I’m sorry you’re feeling so overwhelmed.

 

[Billdore]

I have had you and Tsali in my thoughts since you first posted this thread. Don’t try to do it all alone. Taking care of a sick loved one is no easy task. Is there a service that will come and help you once a week with things? Two of my great aunts have had alzeihmers and there are some great folks that came to help. I just want to say that you have done amazing things with Tsali. There’s one thing about the whistling that I can’t help but think about. In your video with the email Tsali copies your happy whoop sound. Is it possible his whistle is kind of an imitation of this happy whooping sound? Also don’t sell yourself short you have really done amazing things with Tsali and I’m sure you can do many more amazing things. I just wanted to say your great your awesome and whatever you decide I’m sure you will make it great. Please don’t go at it alone though we are here for you many people hoping and praying for the best for you and your family. Don’t know if you felt it but I’m sprinkling some magic onto this thread.

 

[Anansi]

Keeping you, your husband, and Tsali in my thoughts and prayers.

 

[Kentuckienne]

I hope this works out for all of you. If it helps, we had an amazon who loved to scream. He loved the reaction it got. I started ignoring the screams, and the instant he made any other sound I went right to him with praise and a treat. Eventually he dumped the screaming on his own. In fact, he accidentally taught himself to do a flip on his perch by almost falling off, and I made such a fuss that he learned it for good in five minutes. He started "flipping" to beg for food instead of screaming - I'd be in the kitchen and gradually become aware of this dull rattly sound, which was him flipping on the perch on his cage. He'd flip ten times sometimes before I noticed and rewarded him. Now, Gus the macaw screams when you get on the phone. It took a while to figure out. I thought maybe he was jealous, maybe he hates the phone, but I think it's just the drama. If I talk on the phone but look at him and say his name, he just looks puzzled but doesn't scream. He somehow learned that when people are on the phone, and he screams, they react immediately. Run off, give a treat, they react one way or the other. It could be possible (with earplugs?) to wait out the horrible whistle without looking at Tsali, or reacting in any way, and then reward and fuss over the first tolerable sound he makes. Parrots are smart, and maybe he will learn that whistle doesn't entertain any more and drop it in favor of something more interesting.

Chandelier, that's tough, but you are moving soon, yes? If there are enough perches in good locations around the place Tsali will likely prefer them. You know, Tsali probably loves you as much as you love him, and might miss you terribly. How long do you think you can stand things as they are, with the noise? Do you think a temporary relocation would help, where Tsali stays someplace else for a little while just to shake things up and break habits? I don't know any, but I understand there are parrot behaviorists who can help work with problems like the whistling. Sally Blanchard has a website and email, she's written some excellent parrot books and worked with problem birds...maybe someone else here can advise on that.

Whatever you do, we know that you want the best for Tsali. Just don't underestimate how great her life seems to be with you now ... if only the couple issues could be resolved. Good luck to you, and thank you for being so compassionate.

 

[bigfellasdad]

I have a little house now after downsizing 2 years ago and I rent out my prior and much larger home. My living room is a cozy 20'x12' for example, It doesn't bother either myself or Enzo, in fact id say the Enzo appears to love technical flying around the house I doubt parrots are materialistic, they just want to be around the flock. When I take Enzo to other houses and often with much larger rooms, again she just likes to hang around me.

Enzo and I shower in the morning and this is when she vocalises the most, I often whistle and chat along with her by either me repeating what she has said or vice-verse. When she was saying 'come here' in an aggressive way I would simply not reply at all, she does still say it but only in the nice, friendly tone. I do understand it can be painful when CAGs shriek in your ear, inducing tinitus/ear ringing and yes, its painful. Maybe when he does this, immediately take him from your shoulder and place him on the ground, he will take the hint.

Sorry about your husband I hope he regains his health soon, I know this is the most important thing in your lives

 

[Tsali]

well if you want to adopt out I am available. I have tried reaching out to you twice with no response.

Responded via private message.

Update: I am NOT looking to just adopt out Tsali, if I were, this thread would be in the rehoming section. The thread was started because I had this notion that he should be a WILD bird living a wild birdie life. Sadly he was captive hatched and I realize now that he may not be happy being a "wild" bird. He is happily sitting on my shoulder supervising this post. I AM looking for the best possible environment for him and I question whether or not I will be able to provide that due to the changes in my life.

I didn't respond to your first reply on this thread nor did I reply to your pm at first because I perceived that you were more interested in my proximity to you - rather than in the best interests of Tsali.

 

[bigfellasdad]

He is happily sitting on my shoulder supervising this post.

You just made me spit my beer out, that made me giggle

Maybe you guys need a little break so you can concentrate on the most important stuff in your lives. Can a friend take him in for a couple of days a week maybe?

 

[YUMgrinder]

well if you want to adopt out I am available. I have tried reaching out to you twice with no response.

Responded via private message.

Update: I am NOT looking to just adopt out Tsali, if I were, this thread would be in the rehoming section. The thread was started because I had this notion that he should be a WILD bird living a wild birdie life. Sadly he was captive hatched and I realize now that he may not be happy being a "wild" bird. He is happily sitting on my shoulder supervising this post. I AM looking for the best possible environment for him and I question whether or not I will be able to provide that due to the changes in my life.

I didn't respond to your first reply on this thread nor did I reply to your pm at first because I perceived that you were more interested in my proximity to you - rather than in the best interests of Tsali.

I have other resources for you that would be helpful IF I KNEW WHERE YOU LIVED. That's all. There are a couple aviaries that are amazing in a few areas but there's no point mentioning them if you aren't even in the states. I was trying to help. I didn't realize you only wanted help from certain people. sorry. Sounded like you were desperate to dump him at a shelter and I DID NOT want that to happen. I would take him temporarily or offer a few places I know of that take in larger parrots and let them fly free in moab instead of a hoarder or a bankrupt aviary where he would suffer. You are right though, in the scheme of things there are better people on here than me for this. I guess I over reached my boundaries.

 

[Terry57]

well if you want to adopt out I am available. I have tried reaching out to you twice with no response.

Responded via private message.

Update: I am NOT looking to just adopt out Tsali, if I were, this thread would be in the rehoming section. The thread was started because I had this notion that he should be a WILD bird living a wild birdie life. Sadly he was captive hatched and I realize now that he may not be happy being a "wild" bird. He is happily sitting on my shoulder supervising this post. I AM looking for the best possible environment for him and I question whether or not I will be able to provide that due to the changes in my life.

I didn't respond to your first reply on this thread nor did I reply to your pm at first because I perceived that you were more interested in my proximity to you - rather than in the best interests of Tsali.

I have other resources for you that would be helpful IF I KNEW WHERE YOU LIVED. That's all. There are a couple aviaries that are amazing in a few areas but there's no point mentioning them if you aren't even in the states. I was trying to help. I didn't realize you only wanted help from certain people. sorry. Sounded like you were desperate to dump him at a shelter and I DID NOT want that to happen. I would take him temporarily or offer a few places I know of that take in larger parrots and let them fly free in moab instead of a hoarder or a bankrupt aviary where he would suffer. You are right though, in the scheme of things there are better people on here than me for this. I guess I over reached my boundaries.

I never read where she was desperate to "dump" him at a shelter. If she did not immediately reply to your PM, perhaps give it some time before calling her out on the open forum.