The test came back positive

He tested positive for PDD as well.
 
Go ahead. You cry, darling. And I'll cry with you and for you and precious Wingnut. Sincerely.
 
You will somehow sort this all out Michele. I know you will. It's devastating news, but you're strong, and you will come to know how to best handle the situation.

Although we are all here for your support, I'd suggest finding support groups out there too specifically for this problem. Back when the Yahoo groups were popular, they had them, so I'm sure you can find either Facebook, or other online support groups for these specific issues. Hang in there.
 
I whole-heartedly agree about trying to find support groups for this, however, I will give you a fair warning that when you start searching and finding such groups, the images you will be facing 'can be' quite disheartening and overwhelming, along with the stories you will read.
 
Very Sorry Michele,

My daughter and I are sitting here in tears after reading this thread, We know this kind of pain all too well

I know nothing I can say will make you feel better, But everyone here CARES about you!

You are in our family's prayers, sending all the BEST Vibes & Karma your way :smile015:

Joe
 
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I felt like crying when I read this because I know how much you love your birds, and as a person that stays up all night for the tiniest thing I know you must feel awful. I'll be praying for you and I know everything will be alright! :)
 
Thank you so much everyone. Your words of kindness and support, are, honestly all we really have, besides each other.

This is such a confusing, horrible situation. I want to talk about it, but do not want to torture other people with the details, belabor the point, depress anyone, or be a pest. At the end of the day, it's a death sentence, so the talking is pointless anyway, and not going to help anything. I feel l need to disappear from what I call "Bird Society". I don't want people to see my name, and think it's me just blah, blah blahing about my sick birds, and depressing everyone. I love seeing posts, videos and pictures of birds on this forum, and on all the facebook bird pages I'm a friend of.....but I feel like we don't belong anymore. I can't touch anyone elses birds, and I can't take my birds where other birds are. This is actually more painful than you might imagine. I am so proud of our birds, and the accomplishments we have made with them. I have always loved sharing stories with bird people. I get so excited when I meet someone who has a bird. Now I feel embarrassed, and don't want to talk, because our story is going to have a sad ending.
I will definitely look for support sites for PBFD. I am already a friend of one on facebook. Monica, thank you for the warning. I have seen photos, and read some stories, and truthfully, it is horrifying. I don't know if I will be able to or want to go on those sites. I fell in love with my first bird, and just wanted them around me. Once I realized that they can understand you, that you can develop a beautiful relationship with them, I just wanted to give as many of them a wonderful life as possible. Now it looks as if I have possibly endangered the lives of my other birds, and will have to watch all of these babies who I love more than anything, deteriorate and die.

I will probably be silent here for a while, because things are too sad, and I do not want to make people upset. I will be reading, and watching, and loving all of your stories, but right now, ours should be kept to ourselves. We are keeping ALL of our birds, and have decided as a family, to offer them the happiest and most full life a pet bird can have, until it is no longer possible for them to live without pain. Thank you all for your friendship, knowledge and advice. It means so much, from people who understand what it is to be loved, and to love a bird.
 
Just because they have PBFD doesn't necessarily mean that they can't live a long life. :)

Sweating Up a Haz Mat Suit | Parrot Nation
Oscar The Cockatoo with no feathers | The Adventures of Kacy The Conure Parrot ? Bryan's Angels
Oscar, Our Featherless Friend | Humane Society of Broward CountyHumane Society of Broward County
Ugly Overload: Oscar the Featherless Bird
Meet Oscar, The Cockatoo With Psittacine Beak & Feather Disease

Oscar is a cockatoo with PBFD. Vets said that she only had maybe 6 months to live, but that was now 13+ years ago. Please don't think they are going to out-right die! You never know what their lifespan may be now that they have PBFD and they very well could live for several years!
 
BirdyMomma said:
I want to talk about it, but do not want to torture other people with the details, belabor the point, depress anyone, or be a pest. At the end of the day, it's a death sentence, so the talking is pointless anyway, and not going to help anything. I feel l need to disappear from what I call "Bird Society". I don't want people to see my name, and think it's me just blah, blah blahing about my sick birds, and depressing everyone. I love seeing posts, videos and pictures of birds on this forum, and on all the facebook bird pages I'm a friend of.....but I feel like we don't belong anymore. I can't touch anyone elses birds, and I can't take my birds where other birds are. This is actually more painful than you might imagine. I am so proud of our birds, and the accomplishments we have made with them. I have always loved sharing stories with bird people. I get so excited when I meet someone who has a bird. Now I feel embarrassed, and don't want to talk, because our story is going to have a sad ending.
I will definitely look for support sites for PBFD. I am already a friend of one on facebook. Monica, thank you for the warning. I have seen photos, and read some stories, and truthfully, it is horrifying. I don't know if I will be able to or want to go on those sites. I fell in love with my first bird, and just wanted them around me. Once I realized that they can understand you, that you can develop a beautiful relationship with them, I just wanted to give as many of them a wonderful life as possible. Now it looks as if I have possibly endangered the lives of my other birds, and will have to watch all of these babies who I love more than anything, deteriorate and die.

I will probably be silent here for a while, because things are too sad, and I do not want to make people upset. I will be reading, and watching, and loving all of your stories, but right now, ours should be kept to ourselves. We are keeping ALL of our birds, and have decided as a family, to offer them the happiest and most full life a pet bird can have, until it is no longer possible for them to live without pain. Thank you all for your friendship, knowledge and advice. It means so much, from people who understand what it is to be loved, and to love a bird.
Click to expand...

Michele, PLEASE Don't feel that way, Nothing could be further from the truth!!

Please talk about it so we can help you through it
Please don't "disappear from Bird Society"

No one is going to think anything other than love for you when we see your name

There is absolutely no reason to think you "don't belong anymore"

I am putting myself in your place and trying to imagine as you said "not being able to touch anyone else's birds or not being able to take your birds where other birds are", I understand how you feel right now BUT I don't think you should leave the friends and caring people you have here

I for one would NEVER want you to feel like this

Joe
 
I do understand all of your feelings. You'll be in many of our thoughts... Come and say hi again when you're ready. We'll always just remember you as a kind person who loves her birds. Take care Michele.
 
PLEASE do not feel embarrassed, ashamed, guilty and especially not that anyone doesn't want to hear what you have to say. You have done nothing wrong, this is just one of those situations that was entirely out of your control. You take VERY good care of your birds, you LOVE your birds unconditionally, therefore you BELONG HERE. If there is a group of self-righteous, holier-than-thou individuals out there who want to shun someone going through such a difficult situation, shame on them.

If you need some time to take all this in, that is one thing, but do not feel you cannot talk and vent. I guess I can't speak for others, but I would be 99.999999999% sure every user on here wants to support you emotionally through this very difficult time.

Also, don't forget EVERY living thing is going to die someday in some way. Looking at this as a death sentence instead of an opportunity to make every day with Wingnut an extra special one isn't the right way to go about it. He will pick up on that negative emotion, and it's pretty well known animals respond to emotion- so make yours as positive as possible for Wingnut's sake. From my understanding, this disease is also relatively poorly understood and some birds even live for decades with few symptoms. In this day and age, there could be a cure or effective treatment right around the corner at anytime too. Probably not a bad idea to look into some of the special diets and holistic treatments either. This is NOT a hopeless situation, this is NOT your fault, and Wingnut needs a strong mommy for him right now!
 
Michele, I don't know if you remember my story about my Eclectus having PDD and what I went through with him and my two mini macaws but I know EXACTLY what you are going though and experiencing. Your thoughts and actions parallel mine so well I feel your pain and desperation to help Wingnut.

I don't blame you for NOT wanting to place your other birds. I understand why the vet told you that but when push comes to shove you are keeping all your parrots with your family.

Though intensive palliative care Joaquin lived another two years. He was diagnosed in 2003 back when treatment was not as advanced as it is now. Joaquin was happy and very vocal. I had to retire him from the pet therapy work we use to do. Joaquin lived a very good life in spite of his disease. I still and will always feel very blessed that he was in my life.

Here is a picture I sent to Joaquin's doctor to update her about Joaquin. This picture was taken 14 days before he died. Look how healthy and happy my beloved Joaquin was.

100_0507.jpg


I understand that you need to take a break from the community but I hope you realize that we are here for you. No matter how much you want or need to talk about your situation people are not going to treat you any different. Unfortunately I was not as fortunate as you because locally I was shunned by our bird community. People back then didn't know as much as they do now.

Please feel free to PM me with ANY questions no matter how deep and personal you need to go. I have been where you are at and I know how you feel.
 
NobleMacaw. That photo is both inspiring, and terrifying. Joaquin looks the picture of health in that photo....and he died two weeks later?

If you saw our birds, you would never in a million years think any of them could be sick. From their claws, to their feathers, beaks, eyes, everything- they look perfect. They are so happy, and becoming well adjusted young birds. To think that they are carrying this deadly virus, and that they could be taken at any moment is so... Just horrifying.

My boyfriend and my mom, who both love them as much as I do, are in denial. I have to stop explaining things to them, because they get a little upset, and honestly, I don't want their hearts to break, the way mine is breaking.

We took all four birds to the vet today, to be tested, or re tested. Wingnuts sample will be sent to a different lab, at the University of Georgia....because....well, if there is any shred of hope, for any kind of mistake, this will clear that up, once and for all. I know that sounds childish and ridiculous, but if it was your bird, you would hold on to that impossible hope too.

I am dreading the results. If the other birds test positive, I am responsible for exposing them to a deadly virus. If they test negative, what then? We have agreed, that we will not let them go....but how selfish is that? We made that descision, because our birds are so attached to us, that they would be extremely distressed without us, and the fear that they would not be treated with the same degree of loving care as we provide. This may sound selfish or cruel....it does sound horrible. I look in their eyes and feel so guilty. I'm here to protect them, and I'm keeping them in a dangerous environment....but they would be so unhappy without us.... and I couldn't insure their happiness and safety ....

I'm sorry. I'm just so sorry.
 
I also wanted to add, do not live in fear of the judgement of others. Obviously, with this kind of disease, you will have to take certain precautions, but within the realm of good judgement on your part, do what is fun and enjoyable for Wingnut and your other birds. I don't know what kind of things they like to do, but they can still do stuff like car rides, a trip out to "the country" where they won't be around other parrots so they can enjoy the outdoors and obviously anything they enjoy doing at home. Screw what anyone else has to say about it either. If they are that sorry of an excuse for a human being they would judge you for being a good caretaker and having your pets best interest at heart, they no longer have a valid opinion. You should not feel isolated or less of a person for providing excellent palliative care for a pet you cherish and love.

I have never lost a bird, but I did watch my beautiful, beloved bearded dragon die a horrible death from something completely unpreventable and out of my control. As the symptoms became more obvious, I became concerned of what OTHER PEOPLE would think if I took a partially paralyzed and emaciated animal out and about. She was pretty much permanently on my shoulder in her harness, always coming everywhere with me, but in the final few weeks of her life, I stopped taking her out of the house. I stopped doing the things SHE enjoyed out of fear of what random strangers would think because she was sick. I will always regret it too. I think sweet Tiffany would have enjoyed a few more trips out in the sun, or a few more times soaking up the heat and sun on the dash of my car before she went. I miss her so much and just kick myself for caring what everyone else thought.

You are a good mom to your birds, and you need to be a 'mother' to them, not a hostage to small minded people who feel it's their right to judge. Please stay strong, hold your head high and love those birdies an extra lot! We are all here for you!

P.S. I am sending positive vibes your way that somehow Wingnut has been incorrectly diagnosed or that all your positive birds are unaffected carriers and can live long, happy, healthy symptom-free lives! It is always better when hope is in the picture, and I think theres a lot of hope for a positive outcome for all your feathered babies:)
 
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Both of April's posts (Kiwibird) are extremely well said. Please remember what we're all telling you. I can understand everything on your mind, and every way that you feel, and I don't blame you at all for any decision you make, and I do think you're being a very responsible person with this matter, but I know you feel the self-consciousness in front of everyone. As much as we don't want you to feel that way, I think it's a normal reaction. When you feel this way, re-read this thread and especially April's post, and who cares what anyone else out there thinks. Also, how do you know NO ONE else's bird(s) is harboring anything? As common as viruses are, I wouldn't be sure that they're not.

@Kiwibird - your story about Tiffany really touched me.
@noblemacaw - Joaquin was beautiful. So was my beloved Adrion (Bronze Winged Pionus) two weeks before she passed too. You never can tell about a bird from the outside that they're "healthy" or not. I don't have any digital pics of her, only prints.
 
Really sorry to read this, and my thoughts are with you. It's hard to think of what to say but, like everyone else on the thread has said, please keep posting and venting and remember that everyone here wants to help in any way they can, even if it's just listening and passing on good will.
 
Oh Michele. I can't tell you how sorry I am to read this sad, sad thread. The only wisdom I can offer is that illness and disease are a part of life and they come to each of us at some time or another. What makes the difference is how we treat and are treated. Do you remember the time I told of the wild SC2 that came to my yard starving for something to eat? He was unable to feed himself because his bill was so deformed. I fed him and thereby coaxed him to stay at our place where our dog eventually got hold of him. He had to be put down.

This isn't the case for Wingnut or any of your other guys! Wingnut came by the virus in the same way my SC2 did: from environmental contact. The difference is, no one cared for the wild cocky, but you care a great deal for Wingnut. As I said once before: he's not dead yet! Any of our birds could easily fall victim to a cat or dog or be run over by a bus in the next ten minutes. Do you see what I mean? Wingnut has an allotted lifespan and, with your help, he'll live it out in luxury compared to the way other affected birds must. Do try to take comfort in that. We could all live each day as if it were our birds' last, but that's just too sad to think of. Please don't! Enjoy your gorgeous Wingnut every second you're together and worry about the virus when it shows. To do otherwise is to deprive your bird of the full extent of your love and care.

You've been so incredibly brave all this long time, I know you can continue to be brave for your birds' sake. If you go all grievous on them now, they'll sense it and be sad too. Try to keep on keeping on and you'll find your inner strength deep inside. And if it fails, well, you've always got a LOT of friends here who care very deeply for you.

With much love,
TrishXX
 
Oh my! Please don't feel that you have to leave! Not only is the support of the group likely to be so helpful to you, I know that the information you can share with everyone along your journey would be so helpful to others. I know that I can sure stand to learn more about this terrible disease and how to help a beloved bird along the way.
And, as others have said, this is not an immediate death sentence - we would love to share in the fun and happy times that you and Wingnut get to experience as you strive to make his life the best that it can be, no matter how long that is!
 
Michele, you are a brave, sweet, caring, loving and selfless woman. THANK YOU for opening your heart to us, for letting us in on what is going on.

I believe I speak for everyone here when I say that none of us wants you to go hide or go away. NONE of this is your fault!

We are ALL here for you - through thick and thin, through the good times and the bad.

Many hugs! Please keep your chin up. Cry when you must, don't bottle it up, but ENJOY your fids, too. They love you! :smile015:
 
Michelle I am so sorry to hear about wingnut's test results...

I hope that you stick around and continue to share with us because we're all here for you; please please don't feel that you have to run and hide because of a diagnosis.

Right now, wingnut doesn't understand that there's anything wrong with him, and I think for his sake and the rest of your flock you need to continue to live life to it's fullest and taking exceptional care of your flock as usual.... I know it can be difficult to set the bad feelings aside, but you must- for him.

There is no explanation for why bad things happen to us and the ones we love, but you have to have faith that some good will come of it and sometimes that's all that holds us together is a tiny strand of faith- and you better believe that all of us here have faith in you and wingnut.

HUGS!
 
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