I want to talk about it, but do not want to torture other people with the details, belabor the point, depress anyone, or be a pest. At the end of the day, it's a death sentence, so the talking is pointless anyway, and not going to help anything. I feel l need to disappear from what I call "Bird Society". I don't want people to see my name, and think it's me just blah, blah blahing about my sick birds, and depressing everyone. I love seeing posts, videos and pictures of birds on this forum, and on all the facebook bird pages I'm a friend of.....but I feel like we don't belong anymore. I can't touch anyone elses birds, and I can't take my birds where other birds are. This is actually more painful than you might imagine. I am so proud of our birds, and the accomplishments we have made with them. I have always loved sharing stories with bird people. I get so excited when I meet someone who has a bird. Now I feel embarrassed, and don't want to talk, because our story is going to have a sad ending.
I will definitely look for support sites for PBFD. I am already a friend of one on facebook. Monica, thank you for the warning. I have seen photos, and read some stories, and truthfully, it is horrifying. I don't know if I will be able to or want to go on those sites. I fell in love with my first bird, and just wanted them around me. Once I realized that they can understand you, that you can develop a beautiful relationship with them, I just wanted to give as many of them a wonderful life as possible. Now it looks as if I have possibly endangered the lives of my other birds, and will have to watch all of these babies who I love more than anything, deteriorate and die.
I will probably be silent here for a while, because things are too sad, and I do not want to make people upset. I will be reading, and watching, and loving all of your stories, but right now, ours should be kept to ourselves. We are keeping ALL of our birds, and have decided as a family, to offer them the happiest and most full life a pet bird can have, until it is no longer possible for them to live without pain. Thank you all for your friendship, knowledge and advice. It means so much, from people who understand what it is to be loved, and to love a bird.