Sun Conure Obsessed with Me - the New Boyfriend – How to Rebalance Her Bond?

[Joeyr]

Hi everyone,

I’ve been with my girlfriend for a year, and her 7-year-old sun conure Lola has become extremely attached to me. I really like Lola and want her to be happy, but she seems obsessed, restless and upset when she’s not allowed near me. Interestingly, when I’m not home, she can sit quietly on my girlfriend’s shoulder all day. But when I am home, she becomes much more anxious and clingy.

Some issues we’re facing:

• She insists on being with me near at all times.
• She preens my face , wants to sit in my shirt, and tries to hump me—sometimes nipping when I stop her or occasionally just without any reason.
• She sometimes won’t leave my shoulder to poop, afraid I’ll leave her on her cage.
• She screams when she can’t be with me, even if my girlfriend is nearby.
• She avoids my girlfriend and sometimes nips her when taken away from me.

These behaviors are disruptive, especially since we both occasionally work from home. In retrospect, I may have inadvertently reinforced some of these habits by allowing behaviors like sitting in my shirt or humping my hand.

Our plan:

• Ignoring Unwanted Vocalizations: I plan to ignore her when she yells and encourage her to spend time with my girlfriend.
• Limiting Physical Interactions: I’ll only touch her neck to avoid sending mixed signals.
• Setting Boundaries: I’m not permitting her to hump me or enter my shirt, and I’ll restrict the time she’s allowed under couch sheets.
• Establishing a Routine: After around 9 PM, her cage will be covered to help create a regular sleep schedule.

Do you think this approach will work with patience, or is there any additional advice you’d recommend?

We’ve also considered getting her a companion, but our local bird sanctuary (where we leave her during holidays) mentioned she might prefer being alone. Still, we’re open to the idea if it could help her settle. We would like some advice on this as well.

Thanks in advance for your suggestions!

 

[DonnaBudgie]

A lot of birds chose a favorite human and it's sometimes not the one who loves the bird most, much to the primary owner's dismay! Aside from your plan, I don't think there's much more you can do about it other than break up with her. It's great that she still wants to be with your girlfriend when you're not around. I do feel bad for her.

 

[rheashard2]

This is a problem many bird families face. The same person that they love today can become most hated enemy tomorrow! There's lots of info here and throughout the net. Good luck and welcome. Remember that patience is the key.

 

[wrench13]

A lot of this sounds like mating season behavior, ie hormone time. Search on here for remedial steps. But you can only reduce them not eliminate them. And remember - this too shall pass!