Rehoming African Gray

[Meggg]

Hello, I hope you can help me.
I have a 28 year old African Gray parrot. As a family we're not your typical bird lovers and maybe don't provide the care he needs or deserves. Not to say he is being neglected, he's felt as part of the family and we provide the best we can for him.
After delving into more information on caring for African Grays, I feel like he could thrive being handled properly by being let out of his cage, better diet and more company. He does seem happy, he's very vocal, calls our names frequently and seems to be use to his day to day routine (so we thought), however the vocal-ness can be overwhelming with sometimes constant screeching at horrific times of the day, throwing his food out of his cage, fluffing his feathers and his eyes dilating.. some things I didn't even realise could be a trigger for something or another.

We have recently had to move house from a fairly big detached house into a small detached bungalow with close neighbours. We have already had a noise complaint letter from the council from the evil witch next door about our dogs barking (they very rarely bark she's just a mentalist with nothing better to do other than moan about everyone around her - We've only lived here for 2 and half weeks!), but I'm pretty sure she can hear the bird at early hours as its crazy loud in the house and can be heard quite loudly when the windows are open. Inside the house we're having sleepless nights and it's definitely becoming an issue that we don't think as a family we can find a way through as he's so stuck in his ways and don't have the time to help with this.
Obviously he's feeling a lot of anxiety from the house move alone and he's probably picking up on ours, but his behaviour isn't much different from our previous house.

Not that all of this is for Satan's next door benefit, but after reading more into his needs, could it it more beneficial for him as well as our mental health?!

I have spent the past few days mostly crying because he's part of our family and can't bear the thought of him not being here and how he would cope without us.
We've been thinking about rehoming him, but again wouldn't know where to start.

Would it be better for him to be with other birds? He's never had any other interaction with other birds, or would it better to find a sole owner?
I feel awful even contemplating the idea, but I don't think there's a way forward, and I do strongly believe he could live a happier life with someone who can provide what he needs.. I don't know if he can handle being away from us after 28 years and if his grief (if he did) would heal?

I live in Southampton, UK.

What do I do?!

 

[hiriki]

Can you clarify for me, when you say he could thrive being let out of the cage, are you saying that currently, he is not being let out of his cage?

Parrots, especially large species including greys, evolved to forage for food and fly miles and miles every day, outside. I recognize that this isn't possible for pet parrots, and my point isn't that you should be making him fly miles every day, but his habits may make more sense if you keep that in mind.

Every day, he wakes up with the energy of a creature built to fly. Even greys that get hours and hours outside of their cage daily can't possibly fly miles within the walls of their home. If he's cage bound and all of his food is in a bowl for him with no enrichment or foraging opportunities, then he's a pent up bundle of energy with nowhere to go, and it's coming out of his body in the form of screams.

Parrots scream--this is just the reality. But a parrot should not cause you to have sleepless nights. Typically they're very quiet when the room is dark, and if your bird is screaming at night, there's something odd going on. And if your parrot is screaming nonstop throughout the day, that's also not necessarily normal. Flock calling 2-3 times a day is normal, as well as small vocalizations here and there to get your attention... and even beyond that, some birds are just louder than others... but if your bird is screaming literally nonstop, it is a behavioral issue that can be addressed.

He needs more exercise and mental stimulation to exhaust some of that boundless energy. And, if your family is not in a position to provide that, then rehoming is the better option, even considering the stress and grief it will cause him. For longer lived species like greys, it's fairly common for a bird to go through multiple households in their life, and while it causes stress for sure, it's sometimes in their best interest.

I say this from a place of non judgment by the way. Whatever you choose to do, as long as keep your bird's best interest in mind, it isn't your fault that things ended up this way. The typical family is not equipped to care for parrots and breeders/stores don't often paint an accurate picture of life with a parrot, or give their buyers the resources to provide the best life. 30 years ago, it wasn't quite so simple to google guides and resources on your own, and I think that you deserve credit for taking the initiative to look into this now. Thank you for looking out for your bird

 

[Meggg]

Can you clarify for me, when you say he could thrive being let out of the cage, are you saying that currently, he is not being let out of his cage?

Parrots, especially large species including greys, evolved to forage for food and fly miles and miles every day, outside. I recognize that this isn't possible for pet parrots, and my point isn't that you should be making him fly miles every day, but his habits may make more sense if you keep that in mind.

Every day, he wakes up with the energy of a creature built to fly. Even greys that get hours and hours outside of their cage daily can't possibly fly miles within the walls of their home. If he's cage bound and all of his food is in a bowl for him with no enrichment or foraging opportunities, then he's a pent up bundle of energy with nowhere to go, and it's coming out of his body in the form of screams.

Parrots scream--this is just the reality. But a parrot should not cause you to have sleepless nights. Typically they're very quiet when the room is dark, and if your bird is screaming at night, there's something odd going on. And if your parrot is screaming nonstop throughout the day, that's also not necessarily normal. Flock calling 2-3 times a day is normal, as well as small vocalizations here and there to get your attention... and even beyond that, some birds are just louder than others... but if your bird is screaming literally nonstop, it is a behavioral issue that can be addressed.

He needs more exercise and mental stimulation to exhaust some of that boundless energy. And, if your family is not in a position to provide that, then rehoming is the better option, even considering the stress and grief it will cause him. For longer lived species like greys, it's fairly common for a bird to go through multiple households in their life, and while it causes stress for sure, it's sometimes in their best interest.

I say this from a place of non judgment by the way. Whatever you choose to do, as long as keep your bird's best interest in mind, it isn't your fault that things ended up this way. The typical family is not equipped to care for parrots and breeders/stores don't often paint an accurate picture of life with a parrot, or give their buyers the resources to provide the best life. 30 years ago, it wasn't quite so simple to google guides and resources on your own, and I think that you deserve credit for taking the initiative to look into this now. Thank you for looking out for your bird

I really appreciate and understanding your reply.

He was from time to time let out of his cage where he would behave okay, but would eventually find his way to the floor and it would be a struggle to get him back in the cage and as he's quite reactive it's now become a problem with the dogs. So, as horrible as this sounds, he hasn't been let out of his cage for at least a couple of years now

The noise he creates is obviously heightened now being in a smaller house and my mum wakes up about about 3am so to him the days begun, but not so good when others are trying to sleep.

I'm struggling to even find the correct words to describe the situation as we're all so heartbroken that we feel we're doing him wrong.. but even your reply highlights it even more that he does need the exercise which does strongly contribute to his own health.

As hard as it is, I do think we need to find the best solution for him. I just don't know the best route to go down?

 

[hiriki]

I think that you may have the right idea there, but depending on resources in your area, you may be able to explore intermediary steps. I would recommend reaching out to nearby shelters for behavioral advice. Even if you don't know if parrot shelters in your area, even a cat/dog shelter may have the network in place to be able to point you in the right direction, and bird shelters often know of behaviorist resources that can give you actionable steps and changes you can make in your life and routine to improve your bird's wellbeing.

Perhaps the steps they give you will be too difficult to fit into your family's routine--in that case, you have an expert's recommendations to draw on and confirm your suspicions, and you've already opened a line of communication with a shelter who can help you rehome. But on the other hand, maybe the steps they give you are doable and you're able to build a new routine that's better for you and your grey! Either way, if you are able to talk to a behaviorist who can look at your home and your family's situation and make a professional assessment, you won't have to wonder if you could have done more... so if there's a shelter in your area that offers that, like some do for free, it's definitely worth it.

Regarding the best home for your grey, I think that there's no formula to follow. It's a matter of finding someone who's familiar with birds, especially since he will likely need some skilled socialization in order to be comfortably handled after such a big change. Whether that person has birds in their home already or not isn't really the biggest concern I don't think. A shelter will definitely be better poised to find and match your grey with the best home than you are though, so I wouldn't try to rehome him on your own tbh.

 

[dcfla]

I really appreciate and understanding your reply.

He was from time to time let out of his cage where he would behave okay, but would eventually find his way to the floor and it would be a struggle to get him back in the cage and as he's quite reactive it's now become a problem with the dogs. So, as horrible as this sounds, he hasn't been let out of his cage for at least a couple of years now

The noise he creates is obviously heightened now being in a smaller house and my mum wakes up about about 3am so to him the days begun, but not so good when others are trying to sleep.

I'm struggling to even find the correct words to describe the situation as we're all so heartbroken that we feel we're doing him wrong.. but even your reply highlights it even more that he does need the exercise which does strongly contribute to his own health.

As hard as it is, I do think we need to find the best solution for him. I just don't know the best route to go down?

I Agree with So Much, But The Move to a Smaller Home, The Stress He or She's Feeling is Probably coming from the Stress You Are Also Feeling. They're All So Smart, They "Feel" Everything. Having the Grey for 28 years Now that Would be Hard. But, You Have a Not Obviously Understanding Neighbor, A "mum?" Who Gets Up At 3 or 330 so That's Understandable the Bird Feels it IS Time to Get Up. You Moved & The Poor Thing Feels All Of It. We had a Beautiful Umbrella Cockatoo I Had to Rehome Over 12 Years Ago & It Was Only Because I Was Sick & At Same time Our Little Dog Was Too. Stella Only Wanted Me. Didn't "Like" Hubby or Anyone Else if they got close to me. We had Her for 7 1/2 Years & I Still Miss Her. I Even tried to Get Her back, Long Long Story, BUT, At That Time She Needed More than I Could Give Her, BUT, Do I think that Was Really best For Her? Never Know. I DO Know I Regret Rehoming Because I Actually Did an Agreement that If It Was Best For HER I Could Get Her Back. Instead, the "Sanctuary" Sold Her. I'd Even Spoke for a While Back & Forth to the Lady Who Had Her, Hoping I Could Get Her Back Since She Said She got Stella for Her Husband & I Later found Out her Husband Passed Away. The Other Post Is So True in that You've Got to Think About What's Truly Better For the Bird, They DO Get Rehomed But That's NOT A Good thing. Because a Lot of Birds End Up Showing Their Emotions By Plucking, By Screaming & It's Really Sad Either Way. So Sorry I Can't Really Say Which Is Best FOR the Bird But 28 Years is a Long time. Have you had the Grey Since A Baby or Had she/he Already been somewhere else & you All Have had the Bird 28 Years? Sure Hope Somehow You're Able to Just Do the "Ben Franklin Close", List Good on One Side, Bad on Other" & See, Maybe that'll Help. I Hope. Feel bad for All Of You, it's Painful Either Way. Good Luck.