Parrot jokes/ memes

Love 'em.

Here's a new one from my fave meme... Paranoid Parrot.


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I think this qualifies as a joke...

Once my brother signed up for a bunch of catalogs and junk mail stuff in the name of "Mr. Richard Bird"... stuff like yachts, cigars, booze, "intimate" products. When they started coming in the mail I couldn't understand it. I was telling my brother and he started to turn purple, and then I knew. Then I knew! We got that stuff for years. They were hysterical. Some of them were very nice... personalized letters... "Dear Mr. Bird, As a gentleman with refined taste, you'll want to take a look at our special imported cigars, blah blah blah blah..." "Dear Richard, Please be assured that all goods will arrive in a plain brown wrapper, blah blah blah..."
 
I think this qualifies as a joke...

Once my brother signed up for a bunch of catalogs and junk mail stuff in the name of "Mr. Richard Bird"... stuff like yachts, cigars, booze, "intimate" products. When they started coming in the mail I couldn't understand it. I was telling my brother and he started to turn purple, and then I knew. Then I knew! We got that stuff for years. They were hysterical. Some of them were very nice... personalized letters... "Dear Mr. Bird, As a gentleman with refined taste, you'll want to take a look at our special imported cigars, blah blah blah blah..." "Dear Richard, Please be assured that all goods will arrive in a plain brown wrapper, blah blah blah..."

Is that what Rickeybird said? It must have been your brother signed up for all that free stuff to poop on, I mean read? I see.
 
Kentuckienne...

I rise now to a new level of existential paranoia...

Luv ya!
 
That is so funny OMG :eek:. This person actually made it to adulthood being that clueless :18:. I'm having a hard time believing she's even for real LOL :D!

Probably a BLOND... :rolleyes:




Jim
 
A lady took her parrot into the Veterinary Clinic. As she laid her pet on the table, the Vet pulled out his stethoscope and listened to the bird's chest. After a moment or two, the Vet shook his head sadly and said, "I'm sorry, but I'm afraid Polly has passed away." The distressed owner wailed, "Are you sure? Isn't there some kind of test you can do?. He might be in a coma or something."



The Vet rolled his eyes, shrugged, turned and left the room. Returning in a few moments with a beautiful black dog. As the bird's owner looked on in surprise, the dog stood on his hind legs, put his front paws on the examination table and sniffed the parrot from top to bottom. He then looked at the Vet with sad eyes, whimpered and shook his head.



The Vet escorted the dog from the room and returned a few moments later with a large tabby cat. The cat jumped up on the table and delicately sniffed the bird. The cat then sat back, shook it's head, meowed a sad meow, and ran out of the room.



The Vet looked at the woman and said, "I'm sorry, but, like I said, your parrot is most definitely, 100% certifiably dead."



As the woman was returning to the lobby the assistant handed her a bill for three hundred fifty dollars!



She read the bill and shrieked "THREE HUNDRED AND FIFTY DOLLARS!" "THREE HUNDRED AND FIFTY DOLLARS just to tell me my bird is dead???!!!"



The Vet shrugged. "If you'd taken my word for it, the bill would have been fifty bucks.



But then you asked for the Lab Report and the Cat Scan... !!!
BOOOOOOO !

Sent from my SM-J320V using Tapatalk
 
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With thanks to English comedienne Jo Brand:

Q. Why are there no painkillers in the jungle?

A. Because the parrots-eat-em-all :)

I thank you ... and goodnight:D
 
Chicken thoughts
Have a ton of them..
 

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