My perspective on my birds lives

[Oli]

I've been watching this and I just cannot continue. Your response to me is a very good example of how you are completely unwilling to take any blame or responsibility for what happens to these poor babies.

To be frank, I do not care if you've been caring for birds for "5 years". I've read through your posts. If your babies die after a few months or years, that is not good companionship on your part. At all
You say that your parents help if you ask, but then before you say that you beg them to let you take them to the vet and they say no.

"Something going around her flock".

Take them to the vet!!! Take them to the vet!!! Why won't you people take your birds to the damn doctor!

This is driving me insane. You can't just brand me as an evil mean adult that doesn't understand, either. I'm barely 3 years older than you.

Take responsibility for these children, get them to a home of someone who won't constantly lie about their safety and wellbeing for attention.

I wish people would stop treating you like you're a child that can't do anything. Your age isn't the problem.

 

[Scott]

I've been watching this and I just cannot continue. Your response to me is a very good example of how you are completely unwilling to take any blame or responsibility for what happens to these poor babies.

To be frank, I do not care if you've been caring for birds for "5 years". I've read through your posts. If your babies die after a few months or years, that is not good companionship on your part. At all
You say that your parents help if you ask, but then before you say that you beg them to let you take them to the vet and they say no.

"Something going around her flock".

Take them to the vet!!! Take them to the vet!!! Why won't you people take your birds to the damn doctor!

This is driving me insane. You can't just brand me as an evil mean adult that doesn't understand, either. I'm barely 3 years older than you.

Take responsibility for these children, get them to a home of someone who won't constantly lie about their safety and wellbeing for attention.

I wish people would stop treating you like you're a child that can't do anything. Your age isn't the problem.

^^^^^^ Thank You! ^^^^^^

While understanding the complex realities of another person's life is impossible in an online venue, we all wish the very best for the OP and her birds. I hope Oli's superb insights will resonate on a peer-to-peer basis.

 

[EllenD]

My response exactly. You need to remember things you have said prior, such as "My parents are responsible for the bird's financially" and "I can only take them to the vet when my parents say it's OK, and they didn't". But I'll say it once again, if you don't have an income to pay for vet care for your birds that isn't your fault. What is your fault is the lying, the not realizing that your birds are in danger and cannot ever get help, yet you just want them so you'll keep them, and the whole "My birds calm me down when I'm feeling bad, they destress me at the end of the day, so I should have them" stuff. You don't realize what you sound like, which is a 16 year old kid that hasn't grown up yet. And again, that's OK if you're only responsible for yourself, but unfortunately you're in a situation where you're responsible for other living creatures, at least in some way. And you shouldn't be. That's the bottom line.

And I'd think twice before you start assuming you act like you know how other people feel about things, how no one could ever feel as badly as you, that you've been through things that we could never understand, etc. That's a dangerous area to get into and has absolutely nothing to do with the fact that you cannot be responsible for your own pets right now. You seem to have no sense of empathy for others at all, which is a separate problem from not being able to take care of your birds or to keep them out of danger, but then again it's not, because you aren't able to feel badly for your birds either. You loving them and playing with them and wanting what is best for them was never in doubt, but you can't pay for vet care with love. That's a hard fact to learn in life, that just because you love a pet or even a child, that doesn't mean you are able to take care of them or should have them in the first place.

Trust me, whether you think anyone can feel as badly as you do about having to rehome your pets or not, you're very, very wrong. About 2 years ago at the age of 35 I was diagnosed with cervical cancer and had to stop working. I had to have 3 major surgeries over the span of a year, ran through about $60,000 of savings paying bills and for medical stuff, prescriptions, copays, deductibles, I just bled money. And worst of all I had 2 dogs and multiple birds that I could hardly get up to feed. If not for my mom who had just retired and who lives 10 minutes away from me, I would have had to rehome all of my pets. And I started calling people I knew who loved animals and who had bird experience. I had already secured a place with a woman I work with for my pug of 14 years to go, and my new cattle dog puppy who I had only had for a few months before suddenly being diagnosed, she was going to my cousin. Rehoming my birds was heartbreaking because they would most likely have gone to people I didn't know, who I couldn't visit, and who I would not get them back from IF I recovered. I actually did say to myself "They make me feel so much better, they're my family, I should not have to rehome my family because I've gotten sick by no fault of my own". But I made arrangements anyway because I couldn't walk my dogs, I couldn't clean my bird's cages out, I was sleeping all the time, and I had run out of money so if they had needed a vet I would have had to borrow it from someone. I could no longer be responsible for my pets. Whether it was my fault or not wasn't the point, the point was that regardless of whether it was my fault, regardless of how much it hurt me, killed me actually, it just wasn't fair to them. It broke my heart and I seriously did not care if I died at that point, my life was ripped apart by something that I didn't cause and I had nothing to do with. The only things I had that couldn't be taken away from me were my guitar, my saxophone, and my music...And I say this after selling 6 guitars from my collection to pay my bills so I didn't lose my house...I still miss that 1966 Harmony Bobkat H-15, man, the next extra $600 I come across I'm going straight on eBay and buying another one to restore! God I loved that guitar! And my 1974 Univox HiFlier Phase 3 in natural finish. It was mint. They're all gone. But I have a roof over my head, I still have a nice car to drive, and I managed to keep my professional model Yamagisawa Alto Sax, my 1996 Kurt Cobain Signature Fender Jaguar, and my 2003 Gibson Les Paul Special in TV Yellow...And my music, they couldn't take that away. But losing my family, that thought shattered me. I spent many days and nights vomiting, maybe from the treatments or the medication, maybe because I knew that I was soon going to have to give my family up to homes that could care for them properly, who could pay for vet care, who could walk the dogs every day and clean out the bird cages weekly. I just couldn't do it, no matter how hard I tried. And I lived completely alone except for my pets, so I was going to be alone, by myself, with this disease...If not for my mom being willing to move into my house temporarily to take care of my pets and she and my step-father being willing to pay my bills for a while, well I would have lost them all. I prepared to lose them all, I made plans.

So don't you dare tell the members of this forum that we don't understand what you're going through, or that the pain you're experiencing about finally having to face the reality of your situation is like our pain times one hundred. I could have easily said the same to you, but I didn't because this isn't a competition. My pain was every bit as real and as strong as yours, I promise. The difference is that you are 16 and I was 35, and I wanted what was best for the family that I cared about, rather than wanting what was best for me.

"Dance like nobody's watching..."

 

[Kentuckienne]

Oh EllenD, sweetheart...and I can say that, I'm from the south...thank you for sharing your story. It's making me cry all over my keyboard. I've had difficulties, but nothing resembling that. In the end, life distillate down to that essence: love. It doesn't matter what car, what house, what nice clothes I have. What counts are the simple things: am I healthy? Am I loved? Are those I love healthy and well? Health isn't under my control, so I can only be grateful when it is good and fight when it is not. Love is the only thing I'm responsible for: to create it when it's missing, to lavish it on all, and to accept it back no matter how unworthy I feel. I wish I could physically push this feeling I have right now through the screen, through the air, and out of your own screen. I can't, so please know that right now you are loved so hard I can hardly breathe. Thank you again for cracking open the door for me, so I can look inside and remember oh yes...that is the place I belong...

 

[Melissa1227]

I am glad that you decided to re home/foster your birds out. it will be hard at first. But just think they will have a good life and someone who can afford vet care. Maybe you could ask to receive pictures or videos of them. Years ago I had to give up a bird and I cried alot but I also knew he was going to a better place with other birds to keep him company. It helped to always know my bird was safe, loved and spoiled. You made a sacrifice for the birds, you put your feelings aside for their feelings and their life. YOU are being responsible by recognizing that they need more than you can give right now. Later down the road you could always get another bird when the time is right.

 

[ParrotLover2001]

I've been watching this and I just cannot continue. Your response to me is a very good example of how you are completely unwilling to take any blame or responsibility for what happens to these poor babies.

To be frank, I do not care if you've been caring for birds for "5 years". I've read through your posts. If your babies die after a few months or years, that is not good companionship on your part. At all
You say that your parents help if you ask, but then before you say that you beg them to let you take them to the vet and they say no.

"Something going around her flock".

Take them to the vet!!! Take them to the vet!!! Why won't you people take your birds to the damn doctor!

This is driving me insane. You can't just brand me as an evil mean adult that doesn't understand, either. I'm barely 3 years older than you.

Take responsibility for these children, get them to a home of someone who won't constantly lie about their safety and wellbeing for attention.

I wish people would stop treating you like you're a child that can't do anything. Your age isn't the problem.

She is taking them to a vet, but that doesn't stop it from being contagious. It's spreading like wildfire.

I'm getting a weekend job, I'm doing drivers Ed in May, I'll be able to care for my birds financially, and I'll be able to get them to a vet once I get my license and my own car (which is happening before Fall).

I don't get it, I've got them ready to go to a new home and this is what I get?

They saw went to an emergency vet over the weekend, they are going to a new home, what more do you want?


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[ParrotLover2001]

I've been watching this and I just cannot continue. Your response to me is a very good example of how you are completely unwilling to take any blame or responsibility for what happens to these poor babies.

To be frank, I do not care if you've been caring for birds for "5 years". I've read through your posts. If your babies die after a few months or years, that is not good companionship on your part. At all
You say that your parents help if you ask, but then before you say that you beg them to let you take them to the vet and they say no.

"Something going around her flock".

Take them to the vet!!! Take them to the vet!!! Why won't you people take your birds to the damn doctor!

This is driving me insane. You can't just brand me as an evil mean adult that doesn't understand, either. I'm barely 3 years older than you.

Take responsibility for these children, get them to a home of someone who won't constantly lie about their safety and wellbeing for attention.

I wish people would stop treating you like you're a child that can't do anything. Your age isn't the problem.

She is taking them to a vet, but that doesn't stop it from being contagious. It's spreading like wildfire.

I'm getting a weekend job, I'm doing drivers Ed in May, I'll be able to care for my birds financially, and I'll be able to get them to a vet once I get my license and my own car (which is happening before Fall).

I don't get it, I've got them ready to go to a new home and this is what I get?

They went to an emergency vet over the weekend, they are going to a new home, what more do you want?


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Sent from my iPod touch using Tapatalk

 

[Oli]

I've been watching this and I just cannot continue. Your response to me is a very good example of how you are completely unwilling to take any blame or responsibility for what happens to these poor babies.

To be frank, I do not care if you've been caring for birds for "5 years". I've read through your posts. If your babies die after a few months or years, that is not good companionship on your part. At all
You say that your parents help if you ask, but then before you say that you beg them to let you take them to the vet and they say no.

"Something going around her flock".

Take them to the vet!!! Take them to the vet!!! Why won't you people take your birds to the damn doctor!

This is driving me insane. You can't just brand me as an evil mean adult that doesn't understand, either. I'm barely 3 years older than you.

Take responsibility for these children, get them to a home of someone who won't constantly lie about their safety and wellbeing for attention.

I wish people would stop treating you like you're a child that can't do anything. Your age isn't the problem.

She is taking them to a vet, but that doesn't stop it from being contagious. It's spreading like wildfire.

I'm getting a weekend job, I'm doing drivers Ed in May, I'll be able to care for my birds financially, and I'll be able to get them to a vet once I get my license and my own car (which is happening before Fall).

I don't get it, I've got them ready to go to a new home and this is what I get?

They saw went to an emergency vet over the weekend, they are going to a new home, what more do you want?


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You are taking our concerns as attacks. Please understand that your past of lying, and your previous behavior only calls for concern of your birds well being. I'm glad you're getting a job, and I'm glad that you're learning to drive. Good for you. As I've said before, the problem is clearly within yourself- as you have a lot of growing up to do before I feel that you're ready to take responsibility for the bad things that happen to these animals.
I hope you understand that this is not an attack, it is only concern and observational advice.

As for your friend, please advise her to quarantine her sick birds away from her healthy birds.

 

[EllenD]

Oh EllenD, sweetheart...and I can say that, I'm from the south...thank you for sharing your story. It's making me cry all over my keyboard. I've had difficulties, but nothing resembling that. In the end, life distillate down to that essence: love. It doesn't matter what car, what house, what nice clothes I have. What counts are the simple things: am I healthy? Am I loved? Are those I love healthy and well? Health isn't under my control, so I can only be grateful when it is good and fight when it is not. Love is the only thing I'm responsible for: to create it when it's missing, to lavish it on all, and to accept it back no matter how unworthy I feel. I wish I could physically push this feeling I have right now through the screen, through the air, and out of your own screen. I can't, so please know that right now you are loved so hard I can hardly breathe. Thank you again for cracking open the door for me, so I can look inside and remember oh yes...that is the place I belong...

I can't tell you how much I appreciate this, it really does mean a lot to me. I'm a very blessed person, I'm surrounded by good people that care about each other and that can brighten my day with simply words. And for the most part I'm healthy now, and for that I'm very thankful. I was very lucky in that it was caught extremely early, only because I had been dealing with polycystic ovaries and endometriosis since the age of 16, so I was monitored closely with ultrasounds and biopsies, otherwise I would not have been so fortunate. Most women aren't monitored and if they are diagnosed with cervical or ovarian cancer it's usually very advanced by the time they are aware of it. So I'm grateful for a lot of things, mostly right now I'm grateful to be able to talk to the people in this forum. We share a love of our birds but also a love of life and of each other. It's rare that an internet forum has members that can talk to each other the way we do.

I only posted my story to make a point ParrotLover2001, again you have taken it as an attack against you. The point I was trying to make to you, or multiple points, have apparently just gone right over your head once again. You need to not make assumptions about how other people feel, what other people have gone through, and most importantly you need to stop feeling sorry for yourself because it gets you nowhere and only makes things worse for yourself. I also had to learn that lesson because I too would just keep asking why this was happening to me. I told people that they couldn't possibly understand what I was going through and that my pain was far above anything that they had ever possibly felt. That is until I was in the hospital and saw 5 year olds undergoing chemotherapy and their parents losing their homes, cars, everything they owned because they had to stop working to take care of their sick child. There's nothing that will kick you in the butt faster than watching a young child that is dealing with a fatal disease. I was also trying to make you see what is important, and it's not you keeping pets that you cannot be responsible for in order to make yourself feel better with total disregard for their well-being. I too thought I deserved to be able to keep my pets while I was going through hard times, after all that is when I needed them the most. But then I thought "What will I do if one of the birds get sick? What if one of the dogs hurts itself? How will I even get them their shots?" In essence I had to say to myself "Yes, my pets are my family and they do make me feel better, and I do deserve to be able to keep them. However, they deserve to be secure, healthy, and happy. Their well-being should not be second to my feelings". And my pets had never had any horrible accidents or been in a home where other people were purposely trying to harm them or kill them. I decided to put their lives and their needs above my own, even though I was going through hell and back myself. The ability to put others that you care about before yourself is something that comes with maturity and life experience.

I think the bottom line in your situation is that if you add up all of the reasons you cannot be responsible for taking care of your birds, all of the things that you cannot control being your age, it's a very long list of valid reasons you should not have pets right now, but these reasons combined aren't the main reason you shouldn't have them. Not being able to financially afford their medical care, not always having that support from your parents with whom you live with, having siblings constantly out to hurt and kill them and your parents seemingly not trying to stop them, all of these reasons should be more than enough for you to say to yourself "Wow, I really have had a lot happen to my birds, I've had more than a couple die for various reasons, they are in danger all the time and I can't afford to get them help when these things happen...I really should get them into responsible, loving homes, because I really do love them and want what is best for them". And still these are not the main reason you shouldn't have any pets that must rely upon you for their well-being right now, but rather the fact that you need to learn to be responsible for yourself first. If you can't take care of yourself, how in the world can you take care of another living creature, let alone 4?

You need to work on yourself for a while, work on growing up, maturing, and not only learning how to be in control of your own life but be able to control it without depending on anyone else financially and otherwise. I too commend you for getting a part-time job, which is certainly the most you can handle while doing school work and everything else a teenager has going on. But I commend you more for finally being a responsible person and actually doing something that is good for your birds rather than doing what is good for you or what you want. Getting your 4 birds into homes that can take care of them, provide for them, and keep them safe and out of harm's way is not only the responsible thing to do, but it's a big step towards maturity. For the first time you'd be putting yourself second and the lives of the creatures who depend on you first. That's a big deal.



"Dance like nobody's watching..."

 

[GaleriaGila]

Ellen, it's a great privilege to know you and be counted as a member of our community along with you.

 

[ParrotLover2001]

I only posted my story to make a point ParrotLover2001, again you have taken it as an attack against you. The point I was trying to make to you, or multiple points, have apparently just gone right over your head once again. You need to not make assumptions about how other people feel, what other people have gone through, and most importantly you need to stop feeling sorry for yourself because it gets you nowhere and only makes things worse for yourself. I also had to learn that lesson because I too would just keep asking why this was happening to me. I told people that they couldn't possibly understand what I was going through and that my pain was far above anything that they had ever possibly felt. That is until I was in the hospital and saw 5 year olds undergoing chemotherapy and their parents losing their homes, cars, everything they owned because they had to stop working to take care of their sick child. There's nothing that will kick you in the butt faster than watching a young child that is dealing with a fatal disease. I was also trying to make you see what is important, and it's not you keeping pets that you cannot be responsible for in order to make yourself feel better with total disregard for their well-being. I too thought I deserved to be able to keep my pets while I was going through hard times, after all that is when I needed them the most. But then I thought "What will I do if one of the birds get sick? What if one of the dogs hurts itself? How will I even get them their shots?" In essence I had to say to myself "Yes, my pets are my family and they do make me feel better, and I do deserve to be able to keep them. However, they deserve to be secure, healthy, and happy. Their well-being should not be second to my feelings". And my pets had never had any horrible accidents or been in a home where other people were purposely trying to harm them or kill them. I decided to put their lives and their needs above my own, even though I was going through hell and back myself. The ability to put others that you care about before yourself is something that comes with maturity and life experience.

I think the bottom line in your situation is that if you add up all of the reasons you cannot be responsible for taking care of your birds, all of the things that you cannot control being your age, it's a very long list of valid reasons you should not have pets right now, but these reasons combined aren't the main reason you shouldn't have them. Not being able to financially afford their medical care, not always having that support from your parents with whom you live with, having siblings constantly out to hurt and kill them and your parents seemingly not trying to stop them, all of these reasons should be more than enough for you to say to yourself "Wow, I really have had a lot happen to my birds, I've had more than a couple die for various reasons, they are in danger all the time and I can't afford to get them help when these things happen...I really should get them into responsible, loving homes, because I really do love them and want what is best for them". And still these are not the main reason you shouldn't have any pets that must rely upon you for their well-being right now, but rather the fact that you need to learn to be responsible for yourself first. If you can't take care of yourself, how in the world can you take care of another living creature, let alone 4?

You need to work on yourself for a while, work on growing up, maturing, and not only learning how to be in control of your own life but be able to control it without depending on anyone else financially and otherwise. I too commend you for getting a part-time job, which is certainly the most you can handle while doing school work and everything else a teenager has going on. But I commend you more for finally being a responsible person and actually doing something that is good for your birds rather than doing what is good for you or what you want. Getting your 4 birds into homes that can take care of them, provide for them, and keep them safe and out of harm's way is not only the responsible thing to do, but it's a big step towards maturity. For the first time you'd be putting yourself second and the lives of the creatures who depend on you first. That's a big deal.



"Dance like nobody's watching..."

I haven't taken it as an attack. Where did I say that?
Anyway, you might not like this but, my friends can only foster them until June 3rd. The one fostering Jordan will only foster until May 19th.
I said on TC that my friend will be able to foster the budgies and Elvis for a year, but she can't anymore. Her parents are hoping to move by Fall, so I'll end up with my birds again. Nothing to worry about now though, that's June.
Also, I wasn't going to foster out Jordan because I moved into the basement back on Friday, but my crush came over yesterday (he's the one fostering her) and said that he could take her in, so I let him take Jordan.
1 down, 3 to go.
Does anyone think they could help me with advise before I get them back? If so I'll start a new thread.



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[Oli]

Saw all of this coming. Grow up. That's my advice.

Sorry to be hostile, but I'm done giving you attention. Have a nice day.


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[Owlet]

I'm sorry but is your 'crush' and your friends even familiar with birds? I think you mentioned one of your friends having a flock of her own that were sick but other than that there have been absolutely no mentions of the people who will be fostering this birds for at least a couple months having any knowledge about birds what so ever.

The only somewhat mature thing I've seen you do regarding your birds so far have been in the YouTube comments on one of your videos where you said you didn't need to foster your birds yet but still will to make sure the basement is safe first. Which is really good, congratulations!

You never directly said you took what we've been saying as attacks but you certainly implied it.

I don't get it, I've got them ready to go to a new home and this is what I get?

In addition I'd like to say, THIS ISN'T ABOUT YOU. This is a bird forum, we help advise people on BIRDS making sure the owner is responsible and keeps the birds safe and healthy and happy.

 

[ParrotLover2001]

I'm sorry but is your 'crush' and your friends even familiar with birds? I think you mentioned one of your friends having a flock of her own that were sick but other than that there have been absolutely no mentions of the people who will be fostering this birds for at least a couple months having any knowledge about birds what so ever.

The only somewhat mature thing I've seen you do regarding your birds so far have been in the YouTube comments on one of your videos where you said you didn't need to foster your birds yet but still will to make sure the basement is safe first. Which is really good, congratulations!

You never directly said you took what we've been saying as attacks but you certainly implied it.

I don't get it, I've got them ready to go to a new home and this is what I get?

In addition I'd like to say, THIS ISN'T ABOUT YOU. This is a bird forum, we help advise people on BIRDS making sure the owner is responsible and keeps the birds safe and healthy and happy.

Yes, my crush as his own lovebird pair, which he's had for 7 years. I trust him with Jordan.

Sorry about the whole "thinking there attacks" thing. Didn't mean to.

And yes I know this is a bird forum. That's why I joined.


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[ParrotLover2001]

Also, I'll try to be a bit more mature and make better decisions.
I understand everyone is just worried about the health and wellbeing of the birds, and I hope that one day this whole thing will be forgiven and forgotten.




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[gavagai]

I don't really want to comment on this publicly, since it's weighing in on a topic with a background which apparently precedes me. But for some reason I need 20 posts before I can use the PM function, the highest threshold of any forum I've been on. I think I won't have that for a couple days and wanted to comment on this ASAP. So I'm rewriting what was meant to be a short PM to a longer, hopefully more nuanced, post.

First off, I'm new here and haven't read all the other threads which other people are commenting on. It's possible that you were being unreasonable in those threads, but I understand where you're coming from. From this thread, your situation seems to combine the two worst parts of my experience with birds: when I was 11-12 and playing varying roles in the deaths of three birds, and when I was 23 and had to decide whether to give my remaining birds up.

But even based on this thread alone I agree to some extent with what other people have been saying, particularly that making decisions based on what annoys your parents is immature. That's not something I would have ever done regarding my birds on my worst day, but then I realize I'm also fortunate to have a good relationship with both my parents. (And once my parents agreed to let me have birds, they took on the financial responsibility for everything except toys, and never stinted on vet visits. It sounds like you may not be so fortunate, and I can understand being frustrated.)

I don't think making mistakes disqualifies you from having birds; were the case, I would have been disqualified from having birds three times over in my first year and a half. I also don't think it's wrong to let what's best for you play a role in your decisions about the birds, as long as it's not a truly terrible decision. I don't think either having people watch them for a period or rehoming them are terrible for the birds, but it sounds like you really don't want to give them up. However if you want to keep your birds I do think it's important that you can take responsibility for your own mistakes (even if other people may also have played a role), and make an active effort to learn to avid such mistakes in the future.

I understand the position you're in, and if I was in your position I wouldn't want to give up my birds either. I initially made plans to bring my birds with me when I became established abroad, then when it became clear that getting established would take an indefinite amount of time (and ultimately didn't happen), I gave up my last two birds believing it was best for them. While it felt like the right thing at a time, I worry now that the retiree I gave them to died or became incapacitated soon after he got them (since he stopped sending updates suddenly and hasn't responded to any of my emails), in which case who knows where they are now, particularly the Senegal who should have a good 10-15 years left to live if he's being cared for properly, which is not guaranteed even if he's still with the retired guy I gave him to and is even less likely if he isn't.

What's not clear to me from your posts is why you need to give your birds up for fostering, how long that will be, and how long each person can watch them. I assume this was discussed on other threads?

The people who said that shifting through a lot of foster homes will be stressful are right, however rehoming your birds doesn't guarantee them a "forever home," whereas hopefully you will be able to provide that yourself once you're on your feet. You're right that I don't know you, but I'm certainly sympathetic and I'm not going to suggest you give you birds up unless you seem clearly incapable of caring for them and unwilling to learn. (Like, I seem to recall a guy on Craigslist rehoming an eclectus whom he mentioned loved a variety of human junk food which parrots should never be eating; that bird was headed for an early grave. Since in my experience people who feed junk food to animals get very defensive when you tell them not to, I was very glad to see he was giving him up.)

I wanted to let you know that while I do agree with posters here that some of your decision-making is questionable, I think you do care about your birds and I think I have some inkling of where you're coming from. I wish you the best whatever you decide, and I hope that if you decide to keep them you make an effort to address the issues which other posters have apparently raised. I've messed up in the past severely myself, and I the best way to address it is to take responsibility, figure out how to prevent it in the future, and redouble your efforts to determine if there's any other mistakes which you're still making, which is something that both this forum and your vet can hep you with.

 

[gavagai]

So I posted my previous post and then went through your post history. I should have done the reverse, but I joined this forum after leaving another forum where I thought people were attacking me unreasonably, and it took far less time than this thread has lasted. I was concerned you might do the same here; even though it looks like you've been here awhile, it also looks like your relations with people here have become increasingly strained and I wasn't sure when you might decide you'd had enough. I want to stress that unlike on the forum I joined, I get the impression most people here do want what's best for your birds, and not for the sake of feeling superior.

It looks like what has people concerned is that you have a cat and siblings who are trying to kill your birds, and your reactions to them have been rather more defeatist than ours would be. You couldn't go more than an hour to find an emergency vet when your budgie was attacked by your cat; you put your birds in a cardboard box overnight when a sibling attacked your birds with MiracleGro. On one hand, you're a kid and not being 15 anymore I can't put myself into my mindset then, but on the other hand I'm fairly certain my instincts were better than that even at that point. However I got that way partially because after I lost my third bird (after a year where I hadn't lost any), I asked my vet a lot of questions, and he instilled a sense of paranoia that urgent action is required whenever a parrot seems ill. It's possible that I would have reacted much as you did if those early experiences and conversations with the vet hadn't taught me that parrots are delicate, and action can't wait.

It's unfortunate that you don't like any of your vets, because your vet and not an internet forum should be your first resort when things go wrong. Can you not find a vet who has a bird of their own and is likely to be sensitive to their needs and yours? It also sounds like your delay in taking your birds to the vet isn't that you can't afford them, but that your parents are reluctant to take you, preferring a "wait-and-see" attitude. My father was like this initially but I was able to get around it by having my mother take me in emergencies. If both of your parents are ignorant about the importance of early treatment with birds, you need to educate them.

As for the issue in the OP; I get the impression you're only thinking of fostering your birds out until you get the basement set up? I understand now why you're trying to move to the basement. That sounds like a better solution than rehoming, and I wouldn't be as concerned about mold in Maine (I'm from Massachusetts originally, and we never had a mold problem in the basement), as I would further south. What I would be concerned about how much natural light your birds will get. Unless it's one of those basements which is a walkout on one side; I'd suggest getting a full-spectrum light if you're going to live there and keep your birds with you there, as well as asking the vet what they think.

 

[ParrotLover2001]

So I posted my previous post and then went through your post history. I should have done the reverse, but I joined this forum after leaving another forum where I thought people were attacking me unreasonably, and it took far less time than this thread has lasted. I was concerned you might do the same here; even though it looks like you've been here awhile, it also looks like your relations with people here have become increasingly strained and I wasn't sure when you might decide you'd had enough. I want to stress that unlike on the forum I joined, I get the impression most people here do want what's best for your birds, and not for the sake of feeling superior.

It looks like what has people concerned is that you have a cat and siblings who are trying to kill your birds, and your reactions to them have been rather more defeatist than ours would be. You couldn't go more than an hour to find an emergency vet when your budgie was attacked by your cat; you put your birds in a cardboard box overnight when a sibling attacked your birds with MiracleGro. On one hand, you're a kid and not being 15 anymore I can't put myself into my mindset then, but on the other hand I'm fairly certain my instincts were better than that even at that point. However I got that way partially because after I lost my third bird (after a year where I hadn't lost any), I asked my vet a lot of questions, and he instilled a sense of paranoia that urgent action is required whenever a parrot seems ill. It's possible that I would have reacted much as you did if those early experiences and conversations with the vet hadn't taught me that parrots are delicate, and action can't wait.

It's unfortunate that you don't like any of your vets, because your vet and not an internet forum should be your first resort when things go wrong. Can you not find a vet who has a bird of their own and is likely to be sensitive to their needs and yours? It also sounds like your delay in taking your birds to the vet isn't that you can't afford them, but that your parents are reluctant to take you, preferring a "wait-and-see" attitude. My father was like this initially but I was able to get around it by having my mother take me in emergencies. If both of your parents are ignorant about the importance of early treatment with birds, you need to educate them.

As for the issue in the OP; I get the impression you're only thinking of fostering your birds out until you get the basement set up? I understand now why you're trying to move to the basement. That sounds like a better solution than rehoming, and I wouldn't be as concerned about mold in Maine (I'm from Massachusetts originally, and we never had a mold problem in the basement), as I would further south. What I would be concerned about how much natural light your birds will get. Unless it's one of those basements which is a walkout on one side; I'd suggest getting a full-spectrum light if you're going to live there and keep your birds with you there, as well as asking the vet what they think.

You are very understanding. I like that.
Anywho, no mold, lots of light, seems like we never left the second floor.
I have them in the kitchen (because of the hard wood floor. (It's an in-law apartment)) and there are a couple Windows and a double glass door (outside door) so they get plenty of light.
It's very hard to find bird vets around here, it's not a "wait and see" thing, more like a "when we have time" thing. My parents are always busy, and the fact dad was on-call that week made it even more difficult to get out of the house (he had to go to work Saturday, so I took them Sunday). It's my mom who thinks bird are just a cheap, dirty, disposal, replaceable animal, she thought I could just get a new one if they die, so I had to get dad to take me to the emergency vet.


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[Oli]

Correct me if I'm wrong, but as one of your birds was dying, instead of seeking vet care, did you not go out and buy another bird with your grandfather?

You know. Like something cheap, dirty, and replaceable.


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[Oli]

I do not like how... responding to you makes me act. I do not like the anger or hostility that I feel when I think about you or the animals under your care. I keep thinking it best that I just leave you alone to deal with your own mistakes, but I feel like you still NEED to blame someone else. Your mom, no wait your siblings, no wait your dad. I so desperately want you to hold yourself accountable, but of course that won't happen if you refuse to be.

But of course I just don't understand right.


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