My perspective on my birds lives

[ParrotLover2001]

I wasn't going to post anything until I made a decision about re homing. I kind of did but I also didn't. I was looking at the pros and cons about ME re homing MY birds.

Pros: My parents don't agree with it.

Cons: I won't see them anymore, I'll lose them forever, they might go to a bad home, they might be re homed again after that and go to bad home, they might be re homed again, Elvis has chosen me as his mate meaning he will be depressed, its permanent.

That is how I see this.

Fostering them out temporarily pros and cons.

Pros: I'll get them back again, I'll see them again, it's temporary, I can get a friend to do it.

Cons: they can't go to the same place, Elvis will she depressed, I'll lose those bonds, my parents are ok with it.

That's how I see that.

No one seems to care what I think about all this. You just want me to give them up. too young to have pets, re home them, can't care for them properly. And all because I don't have transportation, I don't have a lot of money, I have retarded siblings.

Mom and I took the bird to an emergency vet back on Sunday, they had to stay the night. I had to cancel thw Tuesday appointment because of a blizzard. It wasn't an avian vet, but I had good intentions. I brought them back home Monday, and the vet said that they didn't ingested anything. She did tell be to put Opal on a diet and give her exercise, but I already knew Opal was fat.

While they were at the vet overnight, I didn't realize how much they really meant to me. I was lost without them. I still covered the empty cages, I whispered good night to the cages, I uncovered the cages, and I said good morning as I did so. But then I realized they were at the vet. I prepared their morning veggies, but I didn't have anyone to give it to.

I just wanted to say, people have been telling me to re home, others say foster out, and people I know and see in reality say that I shouldn't do either of those. They know me as a real person, not as some random person on the web. You don't know me just by reading some things I wrote. Unless you know me in real life you shouldn't judge me. I don't judge people, and normally I ignore people who judge me, but sometimes I just have point out that one little fact when someone judges me.

Those things happened in the past, I don't live the past only the present. I think of the future only when necessary.
Now, let's forget anything ever happened, please.
All I ask is for us to forget about these things, focus on the good times not the bad.
Would you like to remember the bad times and not the good?
No one likes bad times.

Now, I appreciate any replies, just don't bring up anything that happened in the past, it's about time it's forgotten. I hope you have at least a little insight on my side of things. Thanks for taking the time to read this.


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[itzjbean]

I'm so sorry you are feeling this way and are going through this. I looked up your previous thread about the Miracle Gro and your birds, no judgement here -- I know exactly what you are going through.

I was a lot like you at 16. I loved animals so much, and when I got my first cockatiels at 13, they seemed to fill a void in me that nothing else could quite fit into. They depended on me for everything -- food, water, socialization and love. I also never realized what it really took to care for them, and how ill-equipped I really was. Back then, I spent a lot of my time at practice swimming, and didn't have a job. I didn't have money to take them to the vet. They began making too much noise for my parents, so I was forced to
move their cage to our unfinished basement.

Long story short, both cockatiels ended up dying. Once moved to the basement they got sick, and since I didn't have the money to bring them to the vet or parents that really cared about them that much, that's how it ended up for them. I should have rehomed them because I just didn't have the right resources and it just was NOT fair to my birds. I only realized it too late.

At the end of the day, you have to ask yourself logically. Do I have the resources, the money, the time for my birds that they deserve? What is best for me? What is best for the birds? Am I giving sub-par care? Could they be better suited with someone who can give them the right care?

People can give you advice of all kinds, but what it comes down to is what you think is right. No one can force you to give up your birds, so you have to decide if the care you are providing them is fair for them. So at 16, if you don't have the right resources (no money, transportation, time) then it may be best to rehome them.

Stop worrying about the potentially bad homes they could get rehomed to. Technically I could get hit by a car and die on my way home from work, but it's one of those things you just can't really get too inside your own head about. What is best for your birds?

Also about the foestering thing, it sounds great for you, but for birds constantly being moved and switched back and forth between households is VERY stressful. It would not be good for them.

 

[ParrotLover2001]

I'm so sorry you are feeling this way and are going through this. I looked up your previous thread about the Miracle Gro and your birds, no judgement here -- I know exactly what you are going through.

I was a lot like you at 16. I loved animals so much, and when I got my first cockatiels at 13, they seemed to fill a void in me that nothing else could quite fit into. They depended on me for everything -- food, water, socialization and love. I also never realized what it really took to care for them, and how ill-equipped I really was. Back then, I spent a lot of my time at practice swimming, and didn't have a job. I didn't have money to take them to the vet. They began making too much noise for my parents, so I was forced to
move their cage to our unfinished basement.

Long story short, both cockatiels ended up dying. Once moved to the basement they got sick, and since I didn't have the money to bring them to the vet or parents that really cared about them that much, that's how it ended up for them. I should have rehomed them because I just didn't have the right resources and it just was NOT fair to my birds. I only realized it too late.

At the end of the day, you have to ask yourself logically. Do I have the resources, the money, the time for my birds that they deserve? What is best for me? What is best for the birds? Am I giving sub-par care? Could they be better suited with someone who can give them the right care?

People can give you advice of all kinds, but what it comes down to is what you think is right. No one can force you to give up your birds, so you have to decide if the care you are providing them is fair for them. So at 16, if you don't have the right resources (no money, transportation, time) then it may be best to rehome them.

Stop worrying about the potentially bad homes they could get rehomed to. Technically I could get hit by a car and die on my way home from work, but it's one of those things you just can't really get too inside your own head about. What is best for your birds?

I have hours for my birds. I spend up to 3 hours a day with them. My parents deal with the money (although I helped pay for the vet bill) and I rely on my parents for transportation, but that only happens on the weekends, and when they have off during the week.


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[SailBoat]

In expressing myself to many of my friends here on the Parrot Forums and having received commends back. I have found universal heartfelt fear, deep concern and pain for the well being of your Birds.

Living though your seemingly on-going life and death experiences and your 'responses back' to the deep concern each member has for your Birds have many of us not wanting to be exposed to the on-going pain!

It is your choice, whether you choose to keep your Birds! It is also our choice as to whether we want to be exposed to the past and likely future events if you choose to keep your birds!

Please understand, that I do not speak for the Parrot Forums, nor do I speak for the other members - but for me, I have have enough and 'sadly' will be avoiding responding to your Threads and or Posts! It is my greatest hope that you will make life and interaction changes and that I will find your Threads and Posts of personal value and by doing so, create a want to reconsider my current position!

As long as the Administrators and Super Moderators of the Parrot Forums consider your membership acceptable, you as with everyone else here have the ability to create Threads and Post responses.

 

[TexasWade]

Pros: My parents don't agree with it.

Cons: ...my parents are ok with it.

I don't know what's really right or wrong regarding the birds, but just look at your reasoning here. Those are some very childish statements that just caught my eye. I don't mean to pick on you about that, but just think about it for a bit. You're trying to decide what's best for the pets, which is a good thing, but being spiteful doesn't help and putting yourself at odds with your parents certainly is not in the best interest of your pets. Or yourself for that matter.

I obviously know nothing of your home life or your relationship with your parents, but it sounds like you are making things far more difficult than they have to be. Maybe you can try talking to your folks and see if they can help you understand why they feel or think what they do. They have several years head start on you and might actually know more than you give them credit for.

 

[GaleriaGila]

I've been very active in the past, trying to help you and your birds.
I am very soft-hearted and sensitive (probably to a fault), but even when it pains me, I try to respond to difficult subjects in the hopes it might help a bird.
I'm thinking now that I haven't been able to help you or your birds at all.
I will just have to hope and wish the best for them.
Best of luck to you in doing the right thing.

 

[Owlet]

In the end it is your decision and we can't force you to do anything but I still stick by that you should re-home them. I'm gonna be blunt here and probably not as nice as I'd like to be, but what you're saying is incredibly childish and selfish. You said it yourself, you don't have the money or transportation and then you have bad siblings that tried to POISON your birds and I haven't heard anything said about preventing this in the future other than moving to the basement, but what's stopping your siblings from going to the basement? You're essentially saying no to re-homing because you want them. There's nothing wrong with wanting something but it becomes selfish when it's harming the thing you want. I don't doubt that you and Elvis have a bond and that'd he'd get depressed if re-homed, but if it's for his own wellbeing and if he goes to a good home he will be alright. You mention fostering them out but I don't think you understand what that means. With fostering YOU'D provide all the care. YOU'D pay for any medical bills, food, toys, etc. The only thing you wouldn't provide is social stimulation. And constantly fostering then out to different people? Do you know how incredibly stressful that'd be to a bird? Going into a new home with new people one month. As time passes they begin to settle down and accept their new home and then suddenly they're in a brand new place with brand new people. That'd be incredibly unfair to them. It's best to just re-home them once to a place that'll love them and provide all the care that they need. I truly wish you and your birds well and I hope you do what's best for your birds rather than yourself. Once a animal becomes a "pet" their wellbeing is in our hands and we have to be selfless to keep them safe and happy. It's selfish to keep them in a bad living situation.

 

[texsize]

I would only add this.
It is up to YOU to see that they are safe. That no more ACCEDENTS happen.
this stuff about Not My Fault does not cut it with me. It's a cop out.
If you can't keep them in a safe environment then ask yourself honestly what is best for THEM.

 

[wrench13]

I'm with you 'Boats. I'll peek in again in a few months. Til then, peace, out.

 

[EllenD]

I haven't responded since I said that I don't like the way I start acting when responding to any of your posts. I've just tried to stay out of it, and it just occurred to me what my real problem is with trying to help you.

I don't really want to help you.

As awful as that sounds and as horrible as I feel about myself for saying it, it's the truth. I want to help your birds because they do deserve better, they don't have a say in the matter at all, which is why we've been trying out best to advocate for them. But the realization that I've had about you is
#1) You are a 15 year old kid that lives with your parents, and you have no control over anything when it comes right down to it. So ultimately, when we advise you as to what to do about a situation, the truth is it's pointless because you can't drive anywhere, you can't pay for anything, you can't make final decisions. You've admitted all of this, and it's not a bad thing, it's called being a kid. I actually have to blame your parents for allowing you to have pets that they are not willing to be financially responsible for.
#2) You are immature and you just don't get it. You say things like "Don't bring up past things that have happened, they're in the past, etc.", but the fact of the matter is that it is the past things, all the endless things collectively, that make us want you to rehome your birds. If it was one thing we wouldn't be concerned, accidents happen.
#3) You have taken zero responsibility for anything. Nothing is your fault, we don't know what you're going through, etc. No, we don't know what you're going through. We don't need to because we're adults that have been through quite enough ourselves. Everyone goes through horrible things, whether they are problems at home, medical issues, problems at school, financial issues, work issues, etc. That's life. It does suck. But regardless of any of that you absolutely must take care of your pets, kids, or anyone else you've committed to taking care of. You don't get that at all.

Your entire reasoning behind keeping your birds and not rehoming them is simply that you want to keep them. What is missing from your list above is that your birds are constantly in danger of being injured, sick, etc. and you every time something happens you know that you cannot get them medical treatment unless your parents say yes, which they never do. How could you leave the fact that your birds are constantly involved in serious emergencies and you cannot ever get them emergency treatment as reasons to rehome them?

And that's just it: these situations constantly occur, you immediately rush to get online to the forum and post what has happened and ask for help, fully knowing that you can't get them help regardless of what we say to do, and then it's like any worry you had for the welfare of your birds goes out the window, instead being replaced with a cold defensiveness, like your birds being injured, sick, or in multiple cases dying is not at all your concern, but rather what you are worried about is defending yourself. And the sad part is we are never approaching your posts with the thought that we hate you, that we're trying to beat you, etc. We are only telling you how to help your birds, and you are only telling us that you cannot do any of the things you need to do to help them. Why? Because you're a 15 year old kid who has no money and no license, and obviously little parental support when it comes to caring for multiple pets. That's not your fault. So when we are concerned for the welfare of your birds and telling you what needs to be done we are actually talking to the wrong person. It's the adults in your home that are allowing you to have these pets and yet refuse to stop life-threatening things from happening to them, and also refuse to get them emergency medical treatment after something like the Miracle Gro thing happens. And that isn't your fault.

The only thing you can really control is giving your birds up to a responsible home where they will not be in danger and where they will get proper medical treatment when they need it. But if I'm being honest, I never expected you to rehome your birds, if I'm being completely honest with you, which I feel I should be, I don't believe even half of the things you post. I think you are a young kid that has a lot going on and who is not in the best of situations. And I think that you are at times looking for attention that you don't get elsewhere. I've been there. And again, this isn't your fault and I feel for you. I actually said to myself "Maybe the reason she doesn't get it and these things aren't that big a deal to her is because they didn't actually happen". When your birds were potentially poisoned and you asked if they faced death, and you were told that they needed immediate medical treatment or they could die, this should have made complete sense to you, as it's the same as when a person is poisoned. You certainly don't wait 3 days to take a person to the hospital if they have possibly ingested Miracle Gro. But with your birds you simply said "It's the soonest I can get them help, and I'm sure they won't die". Then you just went back into defensive mode, like the birds being poisoned was a secondary issue to not be spoken about because it's the best you could do, and we all hate you and that's what is important...Well it makes sense to me that most of these things don't add up at all. I won't go back into the other numerous events and how you handled them and the actions you took, but I don't believe that your words or actions in any of these situations made sense at all.

I worry about any pets that you are responsible for because obviously you cannot care for them for a number of different reasons, most of them not your fault, but rather the fault of the adults that are responsible for allowing you to have them. But as Sailboat said it's our choice to respond to your drama in the first place, and I'm done doing so because I don't believe most of it anyway, and if any of it is actually true, telling you what to do is pointless, I'd need to talk to your parents and try to convince them to either be responsible and take the birds to a vet, stop your other kids from trying to kill the animals in their home, etc. or to please take control and rehome all of the birds so there is no issue at all.



"Dance like nobody's watching..."

 

[ParrotLover2001]

Ok so here is some news.

1, for the last time, try living in my shoes for a day. Find out how hard it is being me. My birds did see a vet over the weekend, and my parents helped pay for it.

2, I was talking with some of my friends. I have found homes for Jordan and the budgies. The budgies are leaving this weekend, and Jordan is leaving next Wednesday.

I'm crying because I have get rid of my birds that I have closely bonded with. The birds I have put my heart and soul into caring for.
You just don't understand!
You say I'm the one that doesn't understand, I understand very well what my situation is and you don't! I posted this hoping for people to forgive the past. Instead it has resulted in my babies leaving me.

I have emotional problems, I take these things very harshly. Imagine if you lost your bird, imagine that pain doubled. That's how I feel about this. I should keep quiet for awhile, I will never be forgiven for this, not by you, not by myself.
I hate my life.

I asked for forgiveness, but people just bring back the reason I'm asking. This was a bad idea. All of my ideas are bad. Also, what will stop them from going into the basement, this wonderful thing called a lock. You should try it sometime. And before anyone says anything, I SHARE A ROOM! But once I'm downstairs I'll have my own room, with a lock.

And as for that last post, my parents did handle the problem. My parents don't help care for them, but they do help when I ask. It's not their fault, it is my fault. And you know what, I will admit to that. It's about time I start facing things.

Now, a little something else. You probably won't believe me when I say this (you don't believe me half the time anyway) but when I'm stressed at the end of each day, I just let my birds out and play around with them. Just cuddling with Elvis makes my stress go away, watching the budgies play together, playing ball with Jordan, it all just helps my stress. Good way to bond and give them exercise as well.

Wait, why have I caved in to this forum? I should rehome, I put a lot of time and love into these animal companions. They taught me patience, how to care for other living things, how to love other living things. They give me my greatest responsibilities, and I'm glad to have those responsibilities. I will be fostering out those 3 instead of rehoming. Just until I get my own place. Still gives me the responsibility of paying for them right? I can visit them, and still have play time with them without it being awkward.

Others opinions don't really matter. Just do what is right. And to me, Fostering then out until I get my own place is right. That means I'll have them again someday.


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[chris-md]

I think you're doing the right thing. Listen, it's not for us to worry about YOU. We worry about the safety and wellbeing of the BIRDS. Helping you is helping the birds.

Here's the thing: nobody here disputes you're doing the best you can with your situation. Not for one second. Your heart is obviously in the right place. The problem is that your situation wasn't ideal to begin with; it wasn't good enough. We tried to warn you, and you didn't listen. Animals got hurt as a result, so we start some combination of screaming to get the birds out of a dangerous situation, and throwing our hands up in disgust.

Seriously, if you truly were ready for parrot ownership, your parents opinion on rehoming wouldn't matter. They are YOUR birds, has nothing to do with them. It's harsh, but I really want to say "grow a pair and take responsibility for things you call your own".

I personally believe you may be ready later. But the truth is you are too dependent on others to have something dependent on you right now. Give it ten years and you'll be fully ready. AFTER college, after you have completely moved out. When you are fully independent AND stable with your housing, that will be when you should be ready.

I thank you for doing the brave thing, the right thing in the best interest of the birds, and you are to be applauded. It's not an easy decision to make, and many here can attest to the gut wrenching decision to regime a bird. We do understand what you are going through and it may not seem like it, we do sympathize.

 

[ZephyrFly]

ParrotLover2001 Honestly, I'm sorry for the loss you're undertaking but in doing this you're giving you're birds a chance of a home with more attention (and I assume you must know the people you're giving them too, so you must trust them?). This will give you more time to dedicate to the other pets or hobbies you have.

I know it's hard, I had to give up my rats at 14, my mum admitted to having developing an allergy to our pet rats, an allergy she'd tried hiding for months until it nearly put her in hospital. She knew me and my brother loved our rats and she did too, we'd had various rats for years too. They went to a good home, but that doesn't stop it from hurting.
What I'm saying is that sometimes we're in parts of our lives that aren't good for what we want. It'll be easier to see when you move out (no siblings and you'll earn your own money). You'll see a lot of this differently in few years.

Also I wanted to point out that we only know about you through the posts you've written here. You're right, we don't know you but we see the way you talk about you, your birds, your siblings on these posts. You'll understand what I mean in a few years or more but you wont for now.

As for the past, first bitten twice shy. We learn from past mistakes, as should you.

Lastly, I'm almost 100% sure most people on this forum understand the loss of a friend, bonded bird or otherwise. As for rehoming, there are a lot of people on here that foster birds, that breed, that rescue, that all understand having to rehome a bird, or turn away one's in need. Do Not assume the world is so small that you are the only one to know these feelings. You are 15? You will learn to handle it yourself and not spend time belittling the feelings and sentiments of people you don't know on the internet.

I wish you the best of luck in your future. Nothing wrong with planning ahead.

 

[Oli]

I don't want to be cruel, I want to express something to you. The problem is not your age, it is not your parents, etc. it is you.
Not everyone matures at the same rate. You need more time before you are capable emotionally and physically to care for complex creatures like these- and to not constantly have them in danger.
I was 16 when I got my juliet, and I have always cared for her myself- and sacrificed a lot of the last 3-4 years of being a "teenager" for her, because I love her. I'm not saying you need to be me, but for any birds, you are just not in the right place mentally. I understand. Trust me I 100% understand what it's like to have unsupportive parents, be young, be sad and busy and scared! I know all of these things. But what I want you to understand is that you just have a general unwillingness to take true responsibility and put these birds first- and my fear is that this will continue on when you "re adopt" them later... which is... really bad for them emotionally as well.


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[ParrotLover2001]

I don't want to be cruel, I want to express something to you. The problem is not your age, it is not your parents, etc. it is you.
Not everyone matures at the same rate. You need more time before you are capable emotionally and physically to care for complex creatures like these- and to not constantly have them in danger.
I was 16 when I got my juliet, and I have always cared for her myself- and sacrificed a lot of the last 3-4 years of being a "teenager" for her, because I love her. I'm not saying you need to be me, but for any birds, you are just not in the right place mentally. I understand. Trust me I 100% understand what it's like to have unsupportive parents, be young, be sad and busy and scared! I know all of these things. But what I want you to understand is that you just have a general unwillingness to take true responsibility and put these birds first- and my fear is that this will continue on when you "re adopt" them later... which is... really bad for them emotionally as well.


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But my parents do help, when I ask. I asked to be fully responsible for these birds, and I was fully responsible for them for almost 5 years now. I've always put them first, and I still do. They never use to be in any danger in my house, but now they are.

Also, I turned 16 in February.
I've had birds since I was 11 and I cared for them, I put them first, they were never in any danger. Then we got a cat (December 2016), and things went downhill from there.

Also, there has been a change of plans regarding my birds. So my friend isn't coming to get them this weekend, I don't know how long it will be, but something is going around in her flock and she doesn't want to risk my budgies getting sick. Neither do I.
Jordan is still leaving Wednesday.


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[Flboy]

I hope things turn well for you, I really think you are a good person! Emotional? Yes! Develop the ability to see yourself from the outside in. I have been publicly whipped for defending you in one unfortunate thread, so I believe this to be true- From what I have seen in almost all but one post(not this thread) the replies are not attacks! They mean well, for the birds! And, they are taking your words at face value!
As a home schooler, you are doing a fantastic job, evident in your writing skills! Many of us hope your threads are more drama, emotional overload, and effect of 'HomeSchool Syndrome'! I just made up that HSS!
If your siblings are males, this makes it even tougher, you guys are from different worlds!

 

[Scoza]

This is all very dramatic. Kinda crazy really


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[ParrotLover2001]

This is all very dramatic. Kinda crazy really


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I know.


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[Doublete]

And you haven't asked anyone's opinions about this on the other forum? AA?

 

[ParrotLover2001]

And you haven't asked anyone's opinions about this on the other forum? AA?

Because I didn't want to. I'll tell in my own time, ok?


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