My cockatoo bit my girlfriend in the eye! Help!

[Birdman666]

You need to convince your gal that the Too is a bird who thinks like a bird, and not to take the attack personally. One thing a pet is good at teaching it's owner is how NOT to hold a grudge. You gotta forgive and let go. Move on to the next step which is how to deal with this situation. Frankly, I don't blame the girl for being afraid, as fear is how we survive. She is actually displaying good sense by avoiding the bird.

Again, I recommend you find a bird behaviorist who will help you. And remember you are not the only one who has been in this situation. I've seen this over and over and the animal usually suffers. Either the pet is isolated from the family or rehomed. Rehoming is an option if done correctly.

One of the few times I've seen the pet come out on top in this kind of situation was when the owner built an aviary, found the bird a mate, and forced himself to be content to watch the bird do his thing. While this guy was disgustingly rich, I admired him for his unselfish answer to his problem. He wanted to keep the bird as his personal pet, but realized he was a human who needed a human companion, and the bird was a bird who needed a bird companion. In the end he did the right thing. He allowed his bird to be a bird.

This is a difficult situation for sure but you have to keep everyone safe. You apparently have a thoughtful, caring nature, and your partner should be glad you don't want to simply throw the bird away. Because in the end you could simply throw her away, but in reality you are too responsible for that. And that's not a bad trait to have in a partner.

I TOTALLY SECOND THIS ADVISE...

Now is the time to sit her down and educate her.

Let her know that she means more to you than the bird, but you shouldn't be forced to choose... because you love the bird, too. Pets are family, and you don't throw them away over a bad day, you retrain. And please, if you love me, give it time, because the behaviors are improving...

 

[strudel]

It may sound a bit "over the top", but I'd consider having some counselling about this situation. We are all animal lovers and we have our perspective. Your girlfriend may not understand why you don't immediately jettison this "dangerous beast" if you love her... I think there's more to sorting out your relationships here than people on a forum can help with. For example, to what extent should a partner make sacrifices/expect sacrifice? These sorts of sources of conflict would come up in marriage all the time, I bet a relationship counsellor would have some insight as to how to deal with it.

From the bird perspective, my only concern would be that if this really is a "him or me" scenario", that should be determined sooner rather than later as things aren't going to improve the way things are going at the moment.

 

[jenphilly]

Well just popping on and reading posts sometimes is an eyeopener.... speaking as the mother of the kid I really should have sold when she was still cute and adorable... nice to know she'd sell me to keep her animals... nice, real nice.... now who do I call to change the locks while she's at college!!???

All jokes aside to my beloved brat (Riddick07)...

This situation is way way beyond a bird bite. Speaking as a female, the fact that she is throwing down ultimatums should be a huge red flag. If you were one of my brothers, my advice would be... run... run fast. If you have a sister, talk to her... If you don't, find a relationship counselor and just go for a couple sessions and share all you've shared here about the ultimatum, the whole drama 'it wants to kill me' depression but so happy when she gets her way....

I typed alot more but deleted it.... I have no tolerance for the whole female drama game (and hey I'm a female....), but figured I'd keep it short and just give a shout out to run... now.... fast....

 

[torrap]

I would use this situation to try to work things out and find place for all 3 of you in this relation. Life is a difficult thing and brings much more
complicated issues to the plate sometimes. There are kids in the future (maybe). How are you going to deal with bunch of kid's related problems if you can't solve this one? Kids are not going to bite you in the eye (I hope), but they bring much more complex heartbreaking problems you both will have to deal with as one unit (family).
Try to deal with your bird as one unit, like a family would. She shouldn't think that your poor Too is yours, she should see him as her bird also because she loves you (I hope).
She should try to work with your Too, maybe while you are not present, I think. They need to learn to respect each other.....I don't think we can hope for them to love each other though......
Good luck to you!