My CAG is Starting to Dislike My Girlfriend, Need Some Advice Please

[All_Hail_King_Rufus]

Hi all,

So, I've had King Rufus since he was about 4 weeks old and he will be 22 weeks old tomorrow. My girlfriend and I live together and she has been here the whole time I've had him. She used to play with him a lot and always held him but last week he started getting really nippy with her. He won't step up for her and always tries to bite her. I'm the one who always fed him.

He hasn't broken the skin yet but I don't like where this is going. My girlfriend is a little afraid of him now and she probably won't be taking him out to play anymore. Is there anything I can do to remedy this? I'd hate to have to choose between the two of them.

 

[Flboy]

In the long haul, King Rufus will cost much less in more ways than be counted!
My JoJo is nippy with my daughter, but she still does everything with him. 99% of the time she uses a stick for moving him about. Also, give your girlfriend control of the King's favorite treat.

 

[KevH]

Back off a bit and let ur girlfriend get more involved with feeding and interacting make sure ur out of the way coz if he sees you he will just want you and bite your girl

 

[Birdman666]

Have your girlfriend feed him his all time favorite treats, and withhold them from him otherwise. He doesn't get them unless he takes them nicely from her...

 

[Flboy]

All so true! My wife's Bongo the Barbarian, can be handled, if she isn't around!

 

[All_Hail_King_Rufus]

ok, thanks for all the tips. I've already started having her give KR treats but he is still nippy to her when I'm not even there. I've also started having her take him out of the cage and I put him back in. I don't use the cage as punishment so I don;t know if that will help or not.

He hasn't gone full rambo on her yet but I'm afraid he might hurt her.

 

[Captsteve]

1st choice: Make ur GF the primary caregiver for a while. You need to ignore the bird while they bond. Just back off and remember, it is a parrot, they are gonna bite!!!

2nd Choice: Get a new GF and let the parrot choose her....

 

[All_Hail_King_Rufus]

1st choice: Make ur GF the primary caregiver for a while. You need to ignore the bird while they bond. Just back off and remember, it is a parrot, they are gonna bite!!!

2nd Choice: Get a new GF and let the parrot choose her....

lol, thanks for the chuckle. I could have auditions! But I like where you're going with #1, thanks for the tip

 

[SoCalWendy]

Captsteve, Your a hoot!

 

[jasper19]

the problem will get worse now if she is afraid. The bird can tell she fears, and thus gives the bird power. Best to have her handle the bird more, like others said have her give it treats. But when she goes to have the bird step up, she cannot show too much fear, else the bird likes the reaction i think.

Angle has bitten me when she has been in a mood, but i didn't retract my hand, just said NO very sterny and gave a look. Made her step up anyways, and then she was fine.

They get stubborn and moody sometimes, but you have to remain firm, and they will listen and know they won't get a reaction from you. It has probably already started with your gf that the bird knows she can get her way and be mean. It might be hard to break. Angel hates women, any women. My gf isn't into birds so there is no way to change it. It is just accepted. She has been this way for many years though. So in your case, if your gf can handle taking some bites, and not showing that it hurts, you could hopefully turn it around.

 

[All_Hail_King_Rufus]

the problem will get worse now if she is afraid. The bird can tell she fears, and thus gives the bird power. Best to have her handle the bird more, like others said have her give it treats. But when she goes to have the bird step up, she cannot show too much fear, else the bird likes the reaction i think.

Angle has bitten me when she has been in a mood, but i didn't retract my hand, just said NO very sterny and gave a look. Made her step up anyways, and then she was fine.

They get stubborn and moody sometimes, but you have to remain firm, and they will listen and know they won't get a reaction from you. It has probably already started with your gf that the bird knows she can get her way and be mean. It might be hard to break. Angel hates women, any women. My gf isn't into birds so there is no way to change it. It is just accepted. She has been this way for many years though. So in your case, if your gf can handle taking some bites, and not showing that it hurts, you could hopefully turn it around.

Yea, I agree with what you're saying 100%. Things have been getting better. My girlfriend does 1 of 3 training sessions per day. It has been getting better but only during the training, he still won't let her pick him up without getting nippy. I think it will be possible to break the behavior because he's young. I do target training, recall and tricks with him during my training sessions but when my gf does it, we only do step up and hold for a few seconds. She now puts her fingers directly under his chest, which doesn't give him a chance to lunge at her fingers. When he steps down from her hand, he does so walking TOWARDS the perch so it's in front of him, this also allows her to move her hand without being bit

I told her about the fear aspect of it all and she changed the way she acts towards him. I got her to be more assertive and never pull her hand away. Luckily he doesn't bite her hard. I guess a bird is like most domesticated animals... persistence, patience and consistency is the key.


I figure if we keep this up for a few weeks/months it will get better.

 

[itchyfeet]

sounds promising!

 

[CrazyAnimalLady]

Romeo only lets me and my daughter handle him. He will bite most other people. He may tolerate being passed to Someone for a few seconds if I make him. But he doesn't enjoy it. Smokie will go to pretty much anyone. But he has his moments as well. I don't force my boys to like others. It's up to them who they like. They hate my hubby. Lol. That's his problem. Haha. Most of the time. I find. When they don't like someone it's because that person shows fear and hesitates. Hovers over them with their hands hurling them away every time the bird gets close. It's a lot about confidence. They pick up on that. If you don't trust them they aren't going to trust you either. And NEVER give a reaction when you do get bit. My boys can pick up my birds with a perch. That's just how it is. It's your job to earn their trust. Not the other way around. [emoji4]

 

[All_Hail_King_Rufus]

I just wanted to leave an update to my post in case someone finds it in the future. Since I made this post, my girlfriend has been doing step up training for 15 minutes per day. I myself do another two, 15 minute sessions for more advanced things.

First few days: He would bite her and be really hesitant to step up on her. When he would bite, she would push her finger towards his mouth to knock him off balance a bit and say "no" in a stern voice.

Week 2: The biting stopped but he would just fly away from her. Birds hate to be off balance so when you push towards them with your hand they start to associate being off balance with biting and the behavior will stop. At this point we started to change the training a bit. He would step up normally, then my girlfriend would lower her thumb onto the top of his feet, keeping him there for a few seconds. Then she would put Rufus down, THEN give the treat. This has taught him stepping up and then flying away is not how to get the treats.

Week 3: He will step up with no problem and even fly to her hand about 80% of the time. The biting has so far been greatly reduced but he will still nip at her if she tries to get him down from his play perch.

It's only been three weeks and his behavior has come a LONG way. She couldn't even get near him before but now he is very tolerant.

As for what the person above me said, I disagree with that approach. Although super cool, parrots are still animals. They need to be trained to fit into YOUR world. You should never have to bend your rules to fit a pet unless it's for a medical reason. Animals, especially parrots are amazing creatures but they need to be taught how to live with humans. All humans. Everyone in your household should be able to handle your pets. To say "that's just how it is" isn't the best approach and it promotes laziness. It takes dedication, persistence and LOTS of training to have a truly tame parrot.

Hopefully someone finds this in the future if they are having the same issues.

 

[jasper19]

All humans. Everyone in your household should be able to handle your pets. To say "that's just how it is" isn't the best approach and it promotes laziness. It takes dedication, persistence and LOTS of training to have a truly tame parrot.

Hey good to hear its coming along nicely.

Just wanted to say, in reference to the above sentiment, that its not always that easy.

Like in my case, my lady does not have an interest in birds, so she does not want to work with angel because she fears getting bitten.

Angel does not like women specifically....so to change her, it would take a women that 1 has interest in birds, and genuinely wants to make a change in angel. So that would take getting bitten, not being afraid, lots of work etc...

Well, since that isn't possible here, she just only gets handled by me. And will only ever get handled by me.

Not the best i know, but what you describe isn't always possible. Because for me, it really is "just how it is". There is no changing Angle in my household, she will always hate women.

 

[CrazyAnimalLady]

Laziness..... Really? YOU don't know me or my birds. What my boy has been through or how HARD I worked to be able to handle him at all! Or even approach him in the first place!!!! You don't know me. I think you have NO RIGHT to say such a thing. If you think you know everything. Just remember this. YOU ASKED for opinions. No need to be rude to those who offer them.

 

[Anansi]

Let us all endeavor to remember that this is a forum. One of the strengths of a forum is the diversity of its membership. Specifically, diversity of thought.

Anyone who comes here seeking advice does so because they are likely to encounter people here who might have different ideas than they do, whether due to greater experience or a different approach.

The point is, one does not come to a forum seeking only like-minded individuals. On a forum, you WILL encounter people who approach things differently than you do. Who see things differently. You need not agree with said different approach, but there needs to be a level of respect that is always maintained when voicing your disagreement.

Let's all stay away from descriptive pejoratives, as they are more likely to inflame passion and anger than to inspire honest and constructive debate.

Long story short, let's keep things civil, and avoid me having to come back and close this thread. Thank you.

 

[thekarens]

I disagree that animals have to be trained to specifically fit your world. The fact is with a good parrot relationship there's going to be "training" on both sides. You should be changing your life to accommodate them and they'll also do the same. It's not all about you. It's also about what's best for them.

 

[CrazyAnimalLady]

It's a privilege to have a companion parrot. They did not come knocking on your door asking if they can live "in your world with your rules" you brought them there.
I believe parrots need to be emotionally respected. No matter what species they are. They should not be forced to do anything they are not comfy with. It is the bond and trust that creates a healthy parrotship. My boys do what I ask because they trust me. Not because I dominate them.

Don't get me wrong. I'm not saying I don't believe in training. Training is great for a bird. I have invested many many hours into training. It is also good to push them to try new things and encourage them because that is what is best for them.

However....It's not about what's best for you. That went out the door when you brought home your first bird. And just like being a human parent. Having human children you have to understand that they may not be exactly what you think they should be or want them to be or expect them to be. They are individuals. And you need to just love them anyway. Understand that they did not choose this life... It was chosen for them. And adjustments need to be made on BOTH ends to make it work so EVERYONE is happy and feels confident safe and loved.

I'm happy for you that things seem to be going well with your girlfriend. I hope they continue down that road.

 

[MikeyTN]

Like it was said already it is a privilege given to us to have these wonderful parrots in our homes. Training is wonderful and good thing to do but we NEVER force any of our parrots to like someone they dislike. After owning parrots for over 20 years, sometimes it's just not gonna work. Plus it depends if the person is willing to interact and not be afraid. Some of the parrots' beaks can be quite intimidating for some to look over. By having yours trained, he might be a simple one to train, as you haven't dealt with bitter mean ones yet. I've trained many many birds in the past. You haven't master the training part yet as your only scratching at the surface for you to think what others doing is laziness and such! Your way far from giving advice to anyone period. So please be watchful of what you say!