I'm so sorry for your loss, I fully understand your feeling now. Since I was lost mine (1 year and half old) at this time last year. still I miss him terribly.
So sorry to hear you have lost your baby.
But we never truely lose them, they will always be waiting for us over the rainbow bridge.
I hope you will feel better soon.
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Liumli so sorry. The wise Irishmen on YouTube I just happened upon said don't grieve they are out of pain..focus in the life. He had completely normal blood work 2 years ago so I haven't a clue. Guessing PDD because of his overall condition...losing weight but eating well, unsteadiness. The vet said "slight abnormal levels probably from stress of vet visit"... Like white coat syndrome for people. Thanks everyone.