Merry needs a friend...I think?

[bogo1]

Good Evening Western Hemisphere and Good Morning Eastern Hemisphere. You guys down under are on your own!

Okay, I need advice, especially from the parakeet champions on the forum. Some of the newbies may not know that I recently lost a 16 year old parakeet named Skye. She had been ill for over a year, but was happy even so and so my vet and I elected to let her be as long as she was comfortable. Although they were not a mated pair, Skye's cage companion of 15 years, Merry was very close to her. They played, tussled, groomed and shared treats. When Skye became ill (she had a series of little strokes, each one making her weaker) Merry stepped up and fed her, helped her move around the cage, called me over when she was in distress. Although Merry's door was often open, from the beginning of Skye's illness, Merry rarely left her and only then to go up onto the cage, but not to fly off. Merry and Skye had a cage near my sleep cage for my conures and got along fine with the bars between them. When the conures were out on top of the sleeping cage in the early morning, I kept Merry's door shut.

So, Skye died peacefully a week ago. The next couple of days Merry flew out the moment the door was open in the morning and frantically searched all of Skyes old favorite haunts. She was clearly looking for Skye and she was pretty pitiful. She would sit on my shoulder only as long as I was moving, but the moment I stopped anywhere, Merry would bail for the cloest Skye place...usually a mirror as Skye loved all mirrors. (She was a very pretty bird!) Merry is not eating well. She is drinking okay but not playing with toys. I have set up an appointment with my vet, but she really doesn't look sick. She looks lost...sad and lonely.

So, help. I would get her a new parakeet friend in an instant if I thought that was what she wanted. But even if I find a summer day's Skye, Merry will know that it is only a blue and white bird, won't she? I had hoped she would keep company with Sam and Gem, but something in Gem's body language worries me. (Gem is a he, no matter how often I say she when referring to the bird, lol).

Does anyone have experience with this... with introducing a new cage partner to a 15 year old keet who has spent its entire life with one bird?
Thoughts?

 

[nofearengineer]

That is very sad, Barbara. It's got to be rough on a little bird, losing her best friend.

I wish I knew anything about keets to help. I wonder how Merry would react to a life-size photo of Skye. Would that be weird?

 

[bogo1]

I don't think I have any pictures of Skye. I have a number of Merry but Skye hated flashes... they would panic her. I found this the hard way after trying to get her picture with one of her mirrors. I do have pictures of the both of them in the cage but taken from a distance so as not to set Skye off. Plus, I don't think it would work. I did put Skye's bed back in Merry's cage for about a day. I thought perhaps she would stand on the edge as she used to when feeding Skye, but nothing doing, she clamored to get out and go look for Skye. When Skye died, she knew something had happened, but honestly didn't seem that distressed when I took Skye away. Then this business started the next morning. Merry is really old. I don't think all this stress is very good for her.

 

[nofearengineer]

I'm sure parrots are a lot like us. As we get older, we get more set in our ways, and less adaptable to change or loss. My Grandfather went soon after my Grandma passed away. I hope Merry can get over the loss and be happy with the years she has left.

 

[bogo1]

Me too, but I have a bad feeling here. I just peaked under Merry's cover. She is asleep with head under wing but I swear she has not eaten but a bit of seed and no pellets. She is drinking. Worried this is going to deteriorate. I think I better try getting a bird friend for her... not a baby necessarily, but an older keet and forget the quarantine. I can move her cage safely away from Sam and Gem so they are protected, but I have a feeling I don't have any 30 days to spare with Merry.

 

[Dj tweet]

This is such a hard situation to deal with
If it's possible why not take merry to a local petshop and see what she/he ( excuse my ignorance ) does as far as wanting to interact with them etc
this would surely help you decide
if it's an option and try and let them pick each other instead of you picking
you may not get what you want but it will be keeping merry happy and that's the best thing
I know the risk with quarentine is high but as you say perhaps in this case it's worth the risk
I would still advise to keep the two seperated ( cages) for at least a week or more as we would hate for a fight to occur and have anything bad happen
good luck and I hope you figure something out

 

[bogo1]

That is a brilliant idea, DJ. I will see what I can setup with our local boarder/petshop. The owner boarded my birds once several years ago when we were all overseas for a month so he would be willing to let me introduce Merry to some parakeets and see if she seems interested in making friends. He might be willing to let me borrow a bird so I don't have to stress Merry with a car ride. THANKS for the idea.

 

[Dj tweet]

Glad I could help
I really hope things work out

 

[bogo1]

Based on your idea, DJ, I called a friend who used to work with me whose parakeet I had tamed about four years ago. I asked if I might swing by and borrow Teechka this afternoon and let her have an over -night with us. There was a pause and then Anya asked if I knew anyone who wanted to keep Teechka permanently as now that her husband had also retired they were traveling a lot more and had no one to keep the bird. Sooooo now I have the bird plus her cage coming tonight to live at our place. Fingers crossed that Merry is good with this. They met back when I had tamed Teechka for Anya... but never spent time together really.

 

[SharonC]

Sounds like a good solution. With females, you never know if it will be a good match or not, but Merry is obviously lonely. It can't hurt to try...

 

[bogo1]

Agreed. And I would have been happy to give Teechka (phonetic Russian for birdie ) a home regardless if I had been aware Anya and her husband were looking to rehome her. Hopefully Merry will go along with this. Merry won't eat. Vet Monday but I don't think I have that long if Merry doesn't snap out of it soon.

 

[bogo1]

Well Merry is eating millet...that is something at least.

 

[Spiritbird]

Good luck and I am sure everything will go well. It is such a good thing that you are on top of this. She probable would not go well with a young keet because of energy levels.

 

[wildheart]

Hi Barbara, I am sorry for your loss, I did not know about this.

I think Merry is definitely grieving, it must have been very hard on her to loose her friend especially because she looked after him so well.

I would first wait it out for at least a week, you might just do more damage than good by trying to replace her companion. I can not imagine that she would have any desire to even attempt making new friends at this time.

Here is some things I would have tried:
I would give her extra out of cage time, comfort her and do things with her that you normally do not do. It is almost like us morning a loss and a friend comes along and take us on an outing to get our minds a bit cleared up, maybe get a smile in as well.
Give her for example a newspaper to rip to pieces, get her frustration out. A bowl of flowers works just as good.
Forget about the pellets etc. and spoil her with her favorite food, eating something is better than nothing. When she starts eating then you can gradually work the good food back in again.
If she keeps on searching for her companion inside the cage then I would even consider changing cages. Giving her something more spectacular with better toys etc. a real upgrade. I will let her change to it on her own pace, let her explore it with fun and excitement, trying to get her mind off things. I would push the new cage next to the old one and I would hang foraging toys etc. inside it and gradually remove the stuff in the old cage.

If she is still not eating and are still depressed after the week, then I will consider buying another bird, but not an older bird who is set in his ways. I would rather consider a very young one who is still a little dependent and who Merry can once again help out. Merry was needed for such a long time and now her life seems worthless, she does not know what to do with herself, a baby might just trigger her caring nature again.

Do not take her to a pet shop to go and see other birds, the dangers are really just to high. She is currently very stressed and this automatically lowers her ability to fight off disease. I once took Sterretjie with me to a breeder to see how she would react to the birds. She was 100% fine with them and it seemed like she would get on great with a partner. However, I did not know her very well at that time and I was still very much influenced by advice instead of just listening to my own instincts. Her being fine with the birds meant absolutely NOTHING, except that she saw it as an outing and she also knew she was going to leave again. Bringing a bird into YOUR bird's space is a completely different story and their reaction is also completely different. So based on that, taking Merry to see other birds will not answer any questions.

I hope this helps a bit, I will think some more.

 

[wildheart]

I missed the post that another bird was coming over.

 

[bogo1]

No problem, Linky...appreciate the advice regardless.

So, I will be bringing Teechka home tomorrow as I had a late meeting today and didn't want the bird to have a detour on way home. She has a hanging cage which I will place near Merry's and we shall see. She is clipped and Merry is not, so once the Sam and Gem move to the day cage, I will be able to let Merry come over. Or... hmm, guess I better find some neutral ground, huh? I will work on that. Merry is still blue today, very little chirping, but is eating her favorite millet and drinking enough water to trash it with the millet. I am hoping things get better tomorrow. Teechka looks nothing at all like Skye and is about 7 as I recall. I had hand tamed her four years ago and I believe she was 3 or 4 then and really wild but very sweet and smart. I will give her a home regardless, but it would be nice if she can help me out in return by getting Merry back on track.

 

[wildheart]

I cant wait to hear what happened. Poor Merry, I feel so sorry for her.

 

[bogo1]

Well, what a difference 24 hours makes. First of all, Merry was better when I uncovered her this morning. She was chirping up a storm (when people hear her in the back ground of a telephone call they think she is several parakeets.) She had demolished the millet (thanks Linky for the suggestion that I just let her have her favorites to get her eating again). But when I gave her fresh pellets she showed an interest there too. She ate all her seed as well, so I gave her a bit more. Mind you, all this is haopening this morning before I brought Teechka home. So this evening I pick up Teechka and have put her hanging cage where I have moved Merry (I am maintaining a quarantine from Gem and Sam) and watch things unfold. Merry was frantic until I raised her cage so she could see into Teechka's cage. Then she started whistling and trillling like mad. The perfect ending to the story would be Teechka trilling back. Nothing doing. Teechka was totally unimpressed with Merry in any way. I would say she ignored Merry, but it was more like she saw Merry and couldn't care less. I am hoping that she is just stunned by the change of venue after an hour in a car. As it is now, Merry is looking good though and that was the first priority. I think that she was coming around this morning...coming out of her grief...lets see after nine days. She should gain back some weight, I hope now that she is eating again and I will get her back onto her normal diet. And Teechka did need a new home. So I guess it is all good. Thanks everyone so so much for the advice and support while I thought Merry was in a spiral in post Skye's death. You were a huge help to us both.

 

[Dj tweet]

I'm so super glad things are going well
tee prob just needs some time to adjust and I'm sure before long they'll be happily talking with each other
perhaps changing her cage position helped snap her out of if a little also.
Good luck to you and merry

 

[bogo1]

So I am gone all day to day running influenza immunization clinics. I get home and Misha (my crazy husband) has Sam, Gem and Merry outside on the play stand. On the good news side, Gem is not hassling Merry. Merry is merry, chattering, swinging and generally carrying on. So very quietly I come up to Merry, ask her to step up, and then gently holding her against my chest I said in an reasonably calm voice, "honey, this bird is totally unclipped." I then walked inside with her and put her back in her cage with Teechka hanging nearby. Okay, you're right. Actually I walked up, gathered Merry in and in Russian told Misha that he was a blithering idiot...in a good way.

Whatever, Merry is back to merry, Teechka has a new home, and this thread has run its course. Thanks again to all who helped me move Merry through her dark space.