Jealous screaming!

[LouM]

Hi all, I have a blue and gold macaw approx 13/14 years old who is very jealous! I got him in June and from the second we got him
Home I was his chosen one. For ages my partner couldn’t get near him, he’a much better now but still If I’m close by he won’t let him touch him or lunges at him. Other times he lets him stroke him, seems to be mood dependant. Our biggest problem at the moment is him screaming, we don’t have a huge house so he is in our living room with us a few feet away From the sofa, he has a very large double cage with no partition in the middle and I leave the door open when I’m in for him to come out and sit on top as he pleases. My partner can’t touch me without him screaming! He hates it! We also have 3 dogs indoors and he can sometimes get jealous of them having attention or when they get worked up and excited. He’s a bit of an odd macaw, he likes his cage, not interested in toys! He will occasionally chew something he’s got in his cage but not really. It’s winter here in the uk and has been nonstop rain so he hasn’t been able to sit on his perch outside hardly at all though even in the summer he didn’t like to go
Out for long. I think this is because he hadn’t left his cage for 5 years before I bought him. I take him out with me in the car but because it’s been cold and wet I haven’t been often as we were in the summer. Any suggestions? It’s the screaming that’s the worst as he’s so close it’s deafening! I can’t move him to another room as his cage is too big and he’d be left out.

Sorry for the essay!

Lou and Charlie x

 

[noodles123]

Aside from you, what does he LOVE...ls there some sort of semi-guilty snack that he can have from your partner only? Your partner needs to increase the bond they have---I wouldn't hide physicality, but I wouldn't rub it in your bird's face if you think that their bond stinks right now. You may want to just be mindful of this during their bonding process...but again don't sugar-coat reality too much. You guys are going to touch, so the bird needs to deal with it. At the same time, early on while bonding, too much touching may make him hate your partner even more, so just keep that in mind (it's going to be a judgement call).

Here's what I had to do with Noodles when she got jealous of my ex touching me (she actually him a lot and thought I was the problem).

1. I worked on building trust a lot when he wasn't around and associating myself with her favorite things (took me weeks longer than it took him even though he didn't even live with us and didn't want me to get her lol). You would have thought that me feeding her, talking her, doing everything for her etc would have been enough, but NO--haha she liked him, so it took me longer). It was worst when he was around, so one-on-one bonding eventually made a big difference...It just took time and work.

2. Not hiding affection BUT letting her scream it out when it happened...NOTE: This meant not hugging etc if I didn't have time to wait-out a scream-fest....When she screamed to get attention in those type of situations, my rule was to ignore it and wait for her to stop for at leave 15 seconds before returning to the room or giving her eye contact etc. So if I was doing something with ex, we would both keep our backs turned until it stopped.
That having been said, if we did a quick hug and she didn't scream, praised and rewarded that behavior.

3. Teaching her that your partner's presence won't detract from your time together (so trying to include the bird etc). Making sure the bird still gets plenty of attention and feels loved when partner is around. IF while my ex was holding the bird, she lunged at me, he immediately put her down and stayed with me.

If your bird is protecting you and wanting to keep your partner away from you (because you are "his") then consider how you are reacting when this happens. Does your partner walk off? (a win for the bird) Do you scold your bird and give it lots of inadvertent attention? (another win for the bird)
You could be reinforcing the behavior without knowing it. If you are hugging near the cage and the bird lunges at your partner etc, I would firmly but flatly say "no" (without providing a lot of attention), move away with your partner (but in bird's eye-shot) and continue whatever it was that you were doing that made the bird lunge. If the bird doesn't react poorly/tolerates it, your partner could give the bird a treat, or you could praise the bird etc.

When the screaming happens, I would say "no- too loud" one time (accompanied by a finger to the lips gesture), and then just put on some noise-blocking headphones, insert silicone earplugs, or go it without protection and wait it out (with both of you completely ignoring the bird until the screaming stops)...try to (as naturally as possible) keep doing what you were doing. After the bird is quiet for a solid number of seconds (say, 15 IN A ROW) then you immediately go over and praise him for getting quiet (because your praise will matter more). "Thanks for getting quiet" (while modeling a quiet voice yourself). You may have to start with a quiet window of 10 s and work your way up to 15 if 15 is unbearable--- sometimes it took mine a solid hour before she would hit 15. Follow the same routine every time so that the bird learns the script and that screaming isn't going to change anything. Increase the intervals every week or so once you think your bird can handle longer periods of quiet. BOTTOM LINE: IF a bird is screaming for attention, never provide that attention while the screaming is happening.
NOTE: I used to say that it was best not to react at all (and SAY NOTHING) but I think that by saying "too loud" you label the behavior for future events and that can help your bird connect the dots between what happens when it screams and your reaction. That having been said----IF YOU SAY ANYTHING, KEEP IT NEUTRAL BUT FIRM and not too loud or exciting- DO NOT provide any attention other than the bare minimum required to spit out those words)...Not everyone is going to agree with this.
ALSO- everyone at your home needs to follow this routine-- guests too..So, if screaming happens, your going to want to wait it out *unless* it is due to true fear or pain (and you will probably be able to hear the difference).

***Note: It is natural for your bird to want to be with you guys, so if including him decreases this behavior/prevents it, that is even better. PREVENTING the behavior is ideal, but if it happens, ^^^ that is what I would do. Just remember, while it may seem silly to you, your partner really is a threat and birds are sensitive, so try to remember that your bird has good intentions. They are flock animals, so they do scream sometimes to make contact etc (and prior to that screaming, you can talk to your bird from the other room to let him know where you are and keep him from screaming), but that is why you want to prevent it rather than reward it when it happens.. In this case, I do not think we are dealing with a "flock-call" but something closer to a tantrum/warning scream (to get partner away from you and possibly get your attention).

 

[Laurasea]

Screaming modification article
https://blogpamelaclarkonline.com/2...olve-your-parrots-screaming-problem-for-good/

Page 10 of this thread , several links on behavior
http://www.parrotforums.com/general...hare-discuss-scientific-articles-parrots.html

 

[LouM]

Thanks so much for this, it has really helped with something to go forwards with. I have said to my partner in the past that I think he needs to bond a bit more with him so that he doesn’t hate him so much but he expects quick things instead of being patient. Same goes for the screaming, I was ignoring him but I don’t think he was so therefore not backing up my actions. I will have serious word with both boyfriend and parrot ��