I am so stupid

[Unisyst]

I killed my beautiful amazing lovely birdy Quackers. I passed out and crushed him. Seeing his body was the worst day of my entire life. I'm still bawling hours later (and as I write this).

I loved that guy. He was so awesome. I remember him getting annoyed that I put him to bed because he couldn't spend more time with me. I'd miss him leaving him alone for any period of time (going to the store/whatever), and would love seeing him when it get back.

His meeps, and quacks, and "yeeeeahs!" were so great to hear. He'd never bite too hard, always carefully. Holding him in my hand and having him fall asleep was bliss.

I'm sorry if I depressed you, but please, please good care of your little guy, they rely on your completely. Never let them down. I am beyond depressed right now. Why are birds so fragile?! UUUUGHHH

 

[angiern]

That is so incredibly sad. Please don't be too hard on yourself. It was an accident.

 

[Unisyst]

I'd do anything to take it back.

 

[Featheredsamurai]

I'm so so sorry that happened to you I cannot even imagine how you must feel.

 

[aliray]

I am so very sorry for your loss.

 

[Buddies_mommy]

I am so sorry for your loss. My Buddie loves to cuddle at bedtime under a t shirt on my chest with my fuzzy PJS. I fell asleep with Buddie, fortunately my husband caught
me before I rolled over. Dont beat yourself up.

 

[birdpassion620]

Try not to be so hard on yourself. Unfortunately accidents like this happen with many bird owners. You are not the first. It's sad but just know you never meant to hurt your quaker.

 

[mistywaterwoman]

Unfortunately it happens with more than just birds. A friend of mine stepped on her chinchilla once. I don't know how you deal with that kind of guilt, but you are going to have to let it go.
You would NEVER have knowingly brought Quackers any harm, and he knows that.
My condolences on your loss. I hope you can find some peace.

 

[faeryphoebe1]

I'm so sorry for your loss. This just happened and it's fresh and raw but please try to forgive yourself. You wouldn't have hurt your friend deliberately. The pain will never go away, but it will become easier to deal with as time goes on. It could have happened to any one of us. It was a mistake. Quackers knows you love him. For as you know; one day it will be your time to pass and leave this earthly plane, and I truly believe that Quackers will be there waiting for you. Take care.

 

[OOwl]

I'm so sorry for your pain. It's obvious how much anguish you're in. Accidents really do happen, to even the most conscientious parrot lovers. I very nearly lost my most cherished parrot (a lovebird) by allowing him at the dinner table with my Grey, who merely nipped him, but he ended up in shock and lost an eye to the ordeal. I felt as bad as you feel about right now. It made me a better parrot keeper, though. I share with others so they might avoid a similar accident. And, when you're healed, you will do that, too. You already have. Many people nap with their parrots, not realizing how fragile they really are. Your profession probably saved many birds just by making people more aware. I'm sorry you lost your friend. May your pain soon be replaced by beautiful memories. Love given is never in vain.

 

[Unisyst]

Thanks guys I am feeling a bit better now. My mom felt really bad and bought me a new conure. Just 6 weeks old, a pineapple beauty. He/she is even friendlier than Quackers.

 

[brittish]

I understand your pain. I fell asleep on the couch and rolled over onto my conure, Mango in December and killed him. I was devestated and hated myself. I still cry thinking about him, and feel so irresponsible. The sight of his lifeless body haunts me, but don't beat yourself up like I did because it was an accident. I know that doesn't help much because nothing anyone said to me wasn't making me feel any better, but I am very sorry for your loss. Rest in peace little guy.

 

[Mudkips]

Thanks for the very important reminder Unisyst.

I will never forget that my first GCC was killed as I slept on top of him, only 2 weeks after I got him.
I bought his brother, Birdy, a few weeks after it happened.
Birdy has been in some very dangerous situations - he has flown across a busy road, been held in the jaws of a dog, been chased by wild birds in the park and been stepped on - but he has never had so much as a scratch on his body.
I feel the most dangerous situation he has ever been in is when I've been about to fall asleep with him close to me - it is the forgotten killer.

Once again - thanks for reminding everyone about the dangers of sleeping with a cuddly parrot, and never forget the legacy that Quackers left behind...

 

[nicolee003]

I am so sorry for your loss. Im glad you bought another one because it really does help. My little guy died in my hands in October from a very rare disease and I was a mess. I've never felt such strong feelings in my life. I stayed home from work and cried for almost a week, and I still cry about him once in a while. A day doesn't go by without me thinking about him. I got my new little guy in November and it really helped the pain of losing Yoshi.

 

[ruffledfeathers]

I can only reiterate what so many others have said--i'm very sorry, and try to be gentle with yourself because it was just a terrible accident. we have all taken naps with our birds at some point, even after hearing things like this, because we just can't imagine it happening to us. I couldn't imagine my Georgie dying of an injury in her own cage either, but it did happen.
Give all your love to the new baby and that will honor the memory of the one you lost.

 

[Unisyst]

Thanks again. Sucks to hear this is pretty common. Brittish that's exactly how I feel, seeing no life in his eyes was absolutely one of the worst things ever.

Ill make a post about the new birdy, he's really helped me so far. He is quite a bit different.

 

[LoryLover]

My heart goes out to you. Only the passing of time will lessen your pain, but it's really good that you have a new birdy to focus your attention on. I agree with the person who said that Quackers is in heaven waiting for you.

 

[thermodynamic]

*hugs*

I know how you feel, because I lost Syzygy - not in the method you described, as he suffocated in some sheets he got trapped in. He loved to cuddle, but my heart broke when seeing him dead.

I still had Rusty and Scooter at the time, but - one day - when getting some food at the store, I talked with the store clerks over what was a pineapple conure scared over how it was being handled. Hiding a scowl in response to what they were doing, I bought the bird there and then.

And Rosie - despite having emotional scars from her past experience - has opened up to me in ways that just say not just "it was meant to be", but "Thank you Dave, and I do appreciate you" - in terms of her being homed by me, calling out for me when I'm not in the room, somersaults that she would only do at the store after everyone else left, taking treats from my hand (she's overcome a LOT), and other things that show she has indeed accepted me. Indeed, she is not scared of other people that meet her now, which is something I would not have expected. Or the people who I know that have seen her are comfortable around birds, and I know she picks up on a LOT of behaviors and attitudes... she's a very special bird, Rosie...

Rosie is no replacement, there is no such thing - no two pets can ever be alike. I still feel for Syzygy as he was so affectionate and sweet, but it was a tragedy...

If Syzygy didn't have that horrible fate, who knows how Rosie would be - if even alive - today.

I too have had to find a way to let Syzygy go. I still haven't, and it's definitely not easy when a pet that simply adores you dies before his or her time... but rationalizing the situation that led to Rosie coming into my life - rescuing her from a fate worse than death - is the best thing I can do to find solace and to let Syzygy go or as much as one can. Which is something a pet owner can't fully do. Because we love our fids so much. One can never fully "let it go", but one can still find some peace AND remember how awesome our pets, now moved on to the next life, are and always will be.

 

[Kiwibird]

I am so sorry for your loss, it must be absolutely heartbreaking for you right now. As others have said, don't beat yourself up because it truly was an accident. I've only lost one pet, my beloved bearded dragon Tiffany (she was really old and had a tumor, it was just her time to go). I cried for days when she died, and still well up when I think of her. After her death, my husband and I started looking for a parrot in need of a good home, and ended up with our beautiful Kiwi. Nothing will ever replace the special individual Quakers was, but perhaps in a few months when you are feeling better, you could adopt a another parrot (or other animal) in need in his memory. We can't bring them back once they're gone, but we can turn a negative experience into a positive for us and another special someone

 

[gccgirl]

First things first: it is NOT your fault. Don't blame yourself. People can't help when they pass out and there's nothing anyone can do about it. If it helps you, get another bird to help get over Quackers.