How to convince someone to re-home a B&G macaw

[SharonB]

Long time bird owner, first time poster. Need some advice on a delicate matter that I have ZERO ideas on how to go about.

Bit of background...My father has a B&G Macaw and a Red-headed Amazon, both of which were acquired after the passing of each bird's previous owners. The B&G, Oliver, is 28, was hand-raised out in California by a husband and wife out there who raised ALL kinds of big birds and did it VERY well. Oliver was surgically sexed as male as a youngster. He's a great bird. His first owner socialized him very well and he's quite a talker. He's friendly with just about everyone and he's a real ham.

When his first owner passed away almost 20 years ago, she asked my parents to take him. Oliver got on famously with my Mom. Then my mom died about 10 years ago. My father got on fine with Oliver but over the years has spent less and less time with the bird. Every time I go to the house, the bird is bedraggled looking and has such sharp claws, you can't pick him up without getting horribly scratch and pierced skin. He's in a separate bird room off the kitchen/breakfast nook so and he can see everything going on, but he's not really part of it and I feel he is getting terribly neglected. My aging father is just not doing right by the bird and things seem to be going downhill.

Problem is, I don't have the best relationship with my father. He won't listen to any advice or counseling I give in general matters so I haven't a clue how to reach him on this matter.

I have a Red-lored Amazon of my own and 5 cockatiels plus 8 horses, 3 cats, a dog and my husband and I now take complete care of the 20 acre farm both houses are located on. I barely have enough time to give my own birds any time and I'm already running into behavior problems with my Amazon because of this. I really really cannot take another animal so taking Oliver is just not feasible.

How can I get through to my father that he needs to let the bird go? I can't even locate any rescues or sanctuaries in the Kentucky area that I can turn to. Has anyone else had to go through something like this and maybe have some ideas?

 

[bug_n_flock]

Well, gee hello there "neighbor". I just took in a B&G around Oliver's age last month, but that is neither here nor there. I'm just struck by the coincidence. We're in Menifee County, so really quite surprisingly close to y'all. Small world indeed.



If I were in your shoes, I would probably approach it as a "This bird will live a very long time and you are not the youngest, maybe start looking for someone to take him when you can no longer care for him" kind of thing. If your father truly cares for Oliver, he probably wont want the change of caretakers to be very abrupt and stressful for Oliver. Perbaps then he would start thinking about things a little differently, and maybe even decide on his own to let Oliver go. These things are such delicate matters. Perhaps on some level your father thinks letting Oliver go is like letting go of your mother's memory. My aunt was like that with a chihuahua that her first husband gave to her as a pup right before he died tragically in a motorcycle wreak. Sbe held on to Opie just as long as she could, and perhaps even too long... she even went so far as to do doggie CPR on him *several* times in the months leading up to the end. Greif can be funny like that, and it makes people do strange things and cling to strange things..... I have a laptop that hasn't worked in years, but I can't bring myself to throw it away.. it was a gift from my late father.



From phone

 

[LaManuka]

This is a very sad situation indeed. Your dad may be clinging to Oliver as a link to your mum, or he may also feel he’d be very lonely without Oliver even though he’s not capable of taking proper care of him. Do you have another sibling or family member who gets on better with your dad that you can work with if your relationship with him isn’t so great? Maybe that might help your dad see that it’s no longer in Oliver’s best interest to remain where he is.

I hope you are able to find a resolution to this very difficult situation.

 

[bug_n_flock]

Another thing to consider would be if a sibling/other relative/friend with more time than you could go over there and spend some time with your dad and Oliver while helping to take care of the bird. Might make all involved's lives a little less lonely. Anyone from church(if he goes) maybe?

 

[greytness]

Could you be the intermediary home for him? Take him in temporarily with the intention of finding him the perfect forever home?
It's all about finding a way to present it to your dad in such a way that he'll embrace the concept of relinquishing his bird as being a win/win situation.