Hormonal conure

[hiriki]

Hey all. You may have seen my late night panic thread yesterday... this is somewhat of a continuation of that.

My jenday, Birdie, is a fully grown adult. I adopted her in... 2014?... and the rescue told me she was something like 35 years old at the time... lol. I think we can all assume that was incorrect... well, the '3' in '35' was written in blue sharpie and the '5' in red, when I asked about this I was told, "Oh, we thought she was 3 years old and then we just corrected it. She's definitely 35."

They tried to give her AND her cage to me FOR FREE and tried to convince me to adopt a different bird because they said she wasn't long for this world, she was a senior with messed up feet and I'd be lucky to have her for a year!!!

Anyway none of that is the point lol. The point is, she's a fully grown adult of at least 10 years, and she's never suffered with hormonal seasons before since I adopted her. She's been a velcro bird since day 1, always loving on me and ignoring everyone else.

Well, I introduced her physically to my younger male GCC last week, and it seems to have triggered something. She's definitely dealing with hormones. I know it'll pass and I'm prepared to monitor, remove toys as needed, etc etc, but one specific symptom has me anxious and sad.

My velcro bird who picked me from day 1 has been ignoring me and flying to my wife.

My wife is delighted because she complains regularly that all of our pets tend to "pick" me... I'm trying to stay positive about this, but my wife doesn't even want birds popping on her shoulder and shouting into her headset mic (lol) so it feels so frustrating and unfair that when I try to hang out with my bird, who's been with me longer than my wife even, my bird just flies straight to her. This is such a heartbreaking development to come from me going on a business trip for *two days*. I wasn't even gone for very long and my wife told me she didn't even let the flock out while I was away. WHAT EVEN HAPPENED.

I've heard of conures "picking" new people suddenly after puberty. This isn't puberty though? She's a grown adult? Ugh. I'm trying so hard not to take any of this personally, but I can't help but worry that this is a new normal and I can't turn our relationship back to three days ago.

 

[chris-md]

My friend, you’ve described my life.

My Ekkie, Parker? Eddie is his favorite.

Our dearly departed teacup yorkie, Sasha? Eddie was the favorite.

As a rover sitter, every dog we ever watched (~100 dogs)? Eddie was almost always the favorite.

Our current rescue dog, koda (a pit bull/chow/poodle/pomeranian mix)? He’s a one person dog (like one person parrot) and eddie is the favorite. I’ve been bitten once and it’s set our relationship back years. I can’t even call him to go outside unless Eddie’s not here, or gets up to co-sign.

I think I must smell bad.

I sympathize with your wife welcome to the world of exotics.

 

[hiriki]

I sympathize with her too on some level... mostly with the cats, we adopted two kittens a few years ago and she picked one of them from the day we met them as 4 week old fosters, but that girl grew up to pick me and cuddles with me every night before bed, purring like an engine.

The birds are a different story mostly because she doesn't really seek out their companionship. Birdie has been with me long before I met her, but the rest of the flock I adopted while we were living together, and they don't hate her but they are nervous around her because she hasn't put in the work. They're rescues (except the GCC) so the relationship can't come easy ya know?

I would way rather go to the rescue and let some random parrot we've never met see her and pick her, thats how Birdie picked me and every time I visit the bird rescue there's always a handful of birds that decide, idk, they like my haircut? Who even knows what criteria birds use to pick people lol. She can bring home one of those birds, just give me back my Birdie

 

[chris-md]

I agree! I’ve said the entire time, in the face of likely one personness, I’d prefer a bird that picks my partner. It makes things easier for Eddie to live with, and I can deal with it…so long as absolute aggression weren’t an issue. Just preference.

I CANT deal with a scenario where I’m the favorite and my partner, who never asked for a bird to begin with, is attacked daily and subjected to incessant screaming.

 

[hiriki]

Ah yea luckily none of my pets have ever been aggressive. Birdie was aggressive to my mom for a short time but that passed, and she's never bitten my wife--ah, well. Ironically, she did bite my wife yesterday after being all sweet with her, my wife isn't very tuned in to overstimulated excited bird behavior and gave Birdie her hand while Birdie was dancing and too excited. But it was just hormonal biting not "I hate you" biting.

Our living space is kind of compact right now so it's actually a bit problematic that if I take Birdie out to hang with me and Birdie decides to fly to my wife, my wife's computer is in the living room and she can't really close a door to keep Birdie from pooping on her desk chair or screaming into her mic. So this current situation is actually kind of inconvenient for everyone involved. This is better than Birdie flying into jealous rages and attacking my wife for sure but it would be nice to just go back to Birdie sitting with me

 

[wrench13]

I cant say how many times I've talked about this, but additions to a flock will always affect the flock dynamics. Sometimes for the good, more often it does not go the way it was hoped for. For this reason I always say Never Get an additional bird as a 'buddy' for an existing one. Get an additional parrot because YOU want one.

 

[hiriki]

I cant say how many times I've talked about this, but additions to a flock will always affect the flock dynamics. Sometimes for the good, more often it does not go the way it was hoped for. For this reason I always say Never Get an additional bird as a 'buddy' for an existing one. Get an additional parrot because YOU want one.

For sure--the GCC was honestly an impulse purchase, if I'm being fully real about the whole thing. I was grieving my cockatiel Bitty, and on top of that I was projecting my own grief onto Birdie and convinced that Birdie was as distraught as I was, and I ended up getting another bird, and a baby at that. I've been a rescue-only household since the beginning so it was all very sudden and not super thought out.

To be clear, I don't regret it, and as I type this message Birdie is cuddling with me again (my wife isn't home so... lol). I think I got Kiwi as much for me as for Birdie but I'm not sure I would do everything the same if I could rewind time. I do still hope that when this hormone season passes, Birdie goes back to normal being the velcro bird she's always been... I'm having an optimistic moment right now thinking that she probably will...