Do you have time to attend a pity party for a sweet Golden Retriever?

[Allee]

Hello, my name is Gypsy! I am a friendly Golden Retriever. Shhhhh, I have my mom's phone! Well, Harry's typing for me, I have big paws. I know this forum's all about the birds but desperate times lead to desperate measures. My mom, you know her as Allee, has lost her freaking mind. She's got it in her head that I'm overweight and she's withholding any and all treats!

My new diet food sucks and she's MEASURING the disgusting stuff. No more chicken meatballs!!! EVER!!! She caught me stealing Shelby's breakfast yesterday morning and last night she caught me cleaning Sparkle's bowl! Now she's taking up EVERYONE'S bowls right after mealtime! I'm running out of options. I can pilfer a few parrot pellets, but that's it, and veggie pellets aren't all that tasty, even when soaked in cranberry juice.

My dad has always been an easy mark for free goodies, but I think he's been threatened with bodily harm.

Could you talk some sense into her pleeeeease? I'm starving here. Even worse, my Vet is going along with the betrayal! Maybe Mom will listen to you, I'm getting nowhere fast. The only good thing about the diet is the exercise! Water therapy rocks! I'm calling the ASPCA and maybe PETA or K-nine-one-one! I love my mom, but right now I want to bite her in the face. Feed Gypsy is not on Mom's priority list.

Oh yeah, get this, today she came home with a new collar, two new skyballs, a stuffy. Okay, a really cute stuffy. The best part, a food stand with shiny new bowls just for me? Well, thank you very much, but it's what you put in it that counts. All that and not one meatball.

Oscar, Ziva, Bella, Roxanne, Canello, Memphis, Retrievers, Dalmatians, Poodles, mixed breeds? I know you're out there, could you please add your paw print to my petition? I'm having Harry write it up for me. I need to go, I think Mom's researching K-9 boot camps.

 

[Puck]

Dear Gypsy, my name is Pixie the minpin and I'm here with Vader the chihuahua/corgie mix. We had to sneak in to write this while mom was putting Sammy away after he bit a key off her keyboard (but does she yell at HIM for things like that? Nooooo, she just ignores it completely when HE bites but when I bite I'm a Very Bad Girl!). She'll be back soon, but we want you to know we are totally on your side! I think the stupid feathery fluff balls on this site drive our people CRAZY. My mom keeps yelling at me just because I try and play fetch with the green feathery fluff ball, and it's totally unfair. How come your mom gets to starve you and still eat all the stuff in the refrigerator, huh? And your vet goes along with it? It's obviously a conspiracy! Or maybe... Oh dear... Does the vet see the feathery fluff balls, too? Maybe the crazy disease has been passed on to her by them! Does the President have a dog at the White House? If so you should totally write him and let him know--this could become an EPIDEMIC!

 

[RavensGryf]

ROTFL!!! :18: Gypsy, I must say you sure state your case well! Excuse me for laughing so hard, but I just can't help myself :18:! Also, if you'd forgive me because I don't have a canine companion at this time, so I have no choice but to see it from a human standpoint. Now, you might not like me by the end of this post.... Oh, did I mention how sweet and beautiful you look?

You know Gypsy... As sorry as I feel for you, and trust me I DO feel bad for you, but as a responsible pet parent I just simply cannot stand by and tell you behind my friend Allee's back that you should be getting more meatballs at this time! I am sorry girl!! . I also don't think it is nice to go after your friend's food bowls just because the vet didn't order them on a diet too!

Wait, but it's not ALL bad... Just bear with it for now, and get lots of exercise too, and... Well, I really shouldn't be telling you this, but I know that IF you are a good girl, and stick with this diet and exercise program and you lose the weight that your mom and vet recommends, you WILL taste that savory delicious chicken meatball again!! Shhh, don't tell your mom I said this, but I promise! Maybe not near as many meatballs and as often, but just trust me on this... Good luck Gypsy.

Julie

 

[getwozzy]

Smella Bella, here. Not sure why they call me that....something to do with skunkz I think.

I feel ya, Gypsy- mom told grandma and grandpa to quits leavin Trixie's food out since I keep snacking on it. And nobodeez lets me eats the cat food anymore. Times are RUFF!! So you know what I likes to do?! I steals chicken eggz from mom's bucket when she gets 'em hehehehe That'll teach her to try and starve me!!

There's definitely somethings going on with these crazy hoomans!! I sez we go on strike!!

 

[Kalidasa]

It takes an iron will to resist a face like that...that cutie could sell ice to an Eskimo.

 

[JerseyWendy]

Gypsy, my sweet girlfriend! Have you tried drooling, along with shaking your head vigorously as the drool is dripping from your luscious lips? Works for me every time. :32: You can also try bumping into your mom as she's holding food, especially those yummy meatballs, and perhaps she'll drop one by..ahem...accident.

(Ziva, knock it off already...I'm not done typing yet...you'll get your turn you pushy....OOPS)

OOOH Gypsy, I like your freestyle in the lake!

I'll have to hand the keyboard over to Ziva now before she knocks me off the chair.

Your secret admirer
Oscar

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Gypsy, it's me...it's me...it's me....Ziva!

Girlfriend, I hear you loud and clear! MY mom is keeping the morsels spread much too thin these days. I am ALWAYS hungry, doesn't she understand? And she ignores me when I whimper and cry while she's putting yummies into her own mouth. How dare she ignore my pleads like this? Who lets a girl cry??

And you should hear the names she calls me behind my back. She thinks I can't hear her, but she's WRONG. How dare she call me "CHOW HOUND". Just because I wait for her birds to drop a bite to eat, just because I regularly go through the sand below the birds' treestand doesn't make me a chow hound, does it?

Tell you what, Gypsy, you are looking GOOOOOOD. Seeing you in that water makes my own paws twitch.

(No, Oscar, you had your turn, now I'm talking!)

Oh and Gypsy, next time you get your paws on mom's phone, try and show us some pics of that new collar you talked about, k?

Ok, GF, gotta run. I smell food..... XOXO

Ziva

 

[thekarens]

I don't know how you resist that face. Goldens have the sweetest faces!

 

[Dopey]

That is so funny. I've just cut back on my yellow lab's food but trust me it's okay. Now she gets more treats and has the bird pellets to eat too.

Cute dogs everyone.

 

[4dugnlee]

Oh man, Oh man, Oh man...I thought my mom was the only mean one! You mean there's more??? I'm a redtick coonhound and my name is Spotsy and I, too, have food withheld! What are these people thinking??? My mom sings a song to me...it goes "Fatty Fatty two by four....." and then I zone out...she thinks it's so cute! I'd like to tell her that I sing better than she does!!! Good thing the big white bird (they call her Peanut) is on my side and gives me food all the time or else I think I'd just starve to death!!!! I guess living in the house is better than living at the dumpster that they found me at, but still.... Dad loves me though...he sneaks me treats and lets me finish Bear, Abby and Kirby's extra dog food when mom's not looking. Hey, just a thought guys, do you think the "moms" are just being hormonal???

 

[Minimaker]

I am so sorry to hear this Gypsy. My name is Tinkerbell the bulldog (or the humans sometimes call me Stinkerbell, I think it might have something to do with my flatulence problem). I would love to help you, but unfortunately I am in the same boat. The humans have declared no more people food for me, which has led to my downfall. As you can see from this photo, I am clearly doomed. I feel faint, kibble just doesn't suit me.

And then, the horror. My human father says that I must hide my shame under this Chicago Bears shirt. I hang my head in shame because he does not seem to understand that I am a PACKERS fan.

This is all my friend, I wish you well. The end is near...

 

[RavensGryf]

These are all hysterical :18: Keep them coming!

 

[miloslave]

Dear Pixie...I am one of those feathery fluffballs you so scornfully referred to. And I thought it is time to set the record straight and make something very clear to you. Where you have to listen to the humans, the humans have to listen to us. That obviously makes us the superior species, right? We don't play fetch with dogs, let's be clear about that, but we will, every now and again, send some scraps your way like any good king does for their underlings.
To Gypsy...if you would like the situation resolved, the best way forward would be to have a word with Poppy or Harry and request that they speak to your mom on your behalf. If all else fails, just stay close to their mansions, I am sure they will send some treats your way. That is just how we birds roll. [emoji16]
Regards. Milo.

 

[Terry57]

Hey Gypsy! Church here..me and Chaz want to sign your petition, but Memphis wants all your treats instead and wants me to ask your Mommy if she can send them to him?
If the petition doesn't work, try the google eyed look, it usually works on my Mom.

 

[Allee]

Oh, this is sooo much worse than I thought! I'm howling with sympathy for all misunderstand furry companions! We need to figure this out. Help me focus! Mom says I have the attention span of a gnat. Can we get a spot on Oprah? Maybe she can help!

Aunt Julie, are you a lawyer? You sound really smart! Is there anyway we could get you on our side?



I'm glad we have a support group! Thanks for the pics, I have super cute friends.

Tinkerbell, you hang in there, Sweetie! With that face, you should be getting chili dogs and ice cream and a shirt with YOUR favorite team.

Spotsy, Wow! I have a white bird too and Poppy's good to me, just between us, parrots like the strangest food. Where is your photo?

Oscar, I think I'm in love! I would share a plateful of spaghetti with you under the moonlight anytime! You're very handsome!



Ziva, NO WAY! Your mom calls you a chow hound? Uh-ugh, Girlfriend, you look like a triathlete. Don't let her kid you! When I was swimming, my dad kept calling me Shamu and Nessie? Who knows who they are? Humans! Hmphh! Mom got me this girlie collar, I like yours better!



Bella, you're lucky AND smart! I'll trade my favorite ball for one of your fresh eggs! Where do you live?



Chazzie, Memphis, Church, I'd send you the treats if I could find them! Mom probably ate them herself! I had to resort to hunting....I didn't do so well. I threatened a bug. That made me so hungry, I tried to eat a stick.





Milo, thanks for the great advice! Sadly, Harry was too busy to help, she's probably building a bomb. Poppy has a new musical instrument so she's busy too. Parrots are good guys, I just wish they had better food. Parrots Rule but Dogs Rock!

Remember, safety in numbers. We need to join forces. And get the parrots to help.

 

[RavensGryf]

Lol, no Gypsy, I am not a lawyer. I just know how we human pet parents think. As beautiful and cute of a girl as you are, I'm afraid I just can't condone getting you to have any forbidden treats! I'm sorry! Besides, your mom would start hating me if I backstabbed her like that! She is my friend, so I just can't Gypsy.

By any chance, did you over hear how long they want you on this diet, or how much they want you to reduce? Hang in there girl. Sorry, but I can't help you.

LOL hunting bugs :18: funny pic!!

 

[Allee]

Aunt Julie, that's too bad. I was thinking we have grounds for a class action suit.

I understand why you can't help. Humans are loyal too, huh?

I'll probably be on a diet forever! My breed gets hip dysplasia and joint problems if we weigh too much. I keep telling them I'm big boned but they don't believe me. Goldens have a long history of overeating if our owners aren't watching close.

 

[RavensGryf]

Rotfl this thread... :18: Poor Gypsy!

 

[JerseyWendy]

Hey Gypsy...it's me, your BFF Ziva.

How's it going? How have you been?

You are NOT gonna believe this, but my vet told my mom that I need to lose some weight. Is he nuts? I already don't get nearly enough food, I'm ALWAYS hungry..... WAAAAAAA!!!!

So I eavesdropped a tad bit yesterday afternoon while mom was making endless calls to stores, asking about this new food that YOUR mom is feeding you. Guess we're in the same boat now.

What is WRONG with our humans, Gypsy????

K, I'm exhausted now from all this typing, I think I'll go lay down for a bit....

 

[Allee]

OH NO, Ziva! Say it isn't so! Our vets need new scales, or glasses. This is awful, there's so many of us. Why do our vets want our mom's to starve us?

Things have gotten worse here. My mom caught on to all my tricks. She takes up my friends' food bowls right after they eat so I can't steal the leftovers. Not a morsel of food in sight anywhere.

Ziva, I'm glad you have a comfortable spot to rest, in a few days you'll be too weak to do much else. Let me know if you think of a way to fix this.

 

[Anansi]

Hahahahahaha! High comedy, all!