Advice for caring for birds while battling depression..?

[BirdyBee]

A bit of a personal post, I just really need help with this.

I've struggled with depression for quite a few years, prior having my birds, but it's been manageable for the most part, and I could still feed them, clean their cage, and do everything else they need to live an optimal life.

However, in the past while it's been really bad, so bad to the point where I need to be forced to get out of bed, eat, and care for myself in general.

I don't want to give my birds away since they won't have much of a quality of life that way either(i genuinely do not know a single person in my area that has knows even the basics of proper bird care). I just need practical advice, e.g things i can do to make it easier to feed them properly

The biggest problem for me is that small tasks feel very overwhelming and I struggle to keep up with and remember everything I need to do on a day-to-day basis, especially in regards to my birds.

If anyone has dealt with this before, what are some things you do/did to help manage birds and depression simultaneously? (I don't want advice on coping with depression or overcoming it, I need advice for my birds specifically when things get so bad to the point where I can't manage my depression.)

 

[rheashard2]

Depression is now a shadow of mine. It used to be a solid apparently immovable object. On the job injury + pain w every breath + narcotics + 200# weight gain = misery, despair and desire to sit in dark. An unexpected stroke. Then massive pulmonary embolism and DVT one evening requiring emergency surgery. I have a CAG. Taking that first step every morning is the hardest. I use going to the facilities for that. I kept (still do) a quart insulated filled drink container in reach. This encourages me to get up eventually. CAG light is on a timer. I got/get up prepare her morning breakfast chop. Another trip to facility equals cage clean, turning TV or computer on for her programs. Then I continue from there. For the worst days I drank over 120 ounces of weak tea, watered juices. No caffeine. I got a dog w plans on training him as emotional support. But he turned himself into a service dog. If I want caffeine I have to (preferably walk) to convenient store. This walking my dog resulted in over 275# weight loss. That means getting dressed, and moving about. It means interacting with store personnel. It didn' happen over night. It can be a battle some days. But I avoid thinking about what I have to do today. I take one step/chore and take pleasure in that. I crochet at least 1 row a day. Concentrating on what I've done, not what has yet to be. My CAG has a manipulation personality. If she talks softly or lets me sleep in, I know a bad emotional day is here. I do 2 chores then. If she treats me like an unpaid servant then I know a good day up. I frankly use my CAG and service dog for goals. My CAG gets me up. My service dog gets me out. Imagine a walk/jog/hater who starts training for half marathons at 65! Do one thing. Take pleasure in that. This is the strongest foundation that you can build upon for taking the next. Don't worry about relapse. Start again. Remember everyone has to take one step at a time. Don't compare yourself to them! Focus on one step/chore at a time.

 

[DonnaBudgie]

If mornings are particularly bad for you, as they are for many people with depression, try to do as many things as you can before you go to bed. Change their water and prepare the next mornings' food bowls, and if anything is perishable, put it in the fridge till morning. If their food isn't perishable, give them their morning food right before lights out. They'll be happy to wake up to full bowls while you take your time getting yourself together enough to start your day. Knowing that your birds are already fed will reduce the overwhelming anxiety, guilt and lack of inertia you feel in the mornings. If you can't seem to get it together enough to give your birds fresh veggies or chop, don't worry! Your parrots will do fine for a few days on dry food and fresh water. When you're hungry or thirsty enough to get up and go to the fridge for yourself, pull out something for your birds, too. It doesn't matter what time of day they get their fresh food except most birds don't usually eat after lights out.

Cage cleaning can be done at any time you feel even a tiny burst of motivation. To get you in the mood, try putting on some feel-good music you particularly like. Personally, listening to the Jimmy Buffett satellite radio station always makes me feel more positive.

If you have a friend or family member willing to help, ask them to help you clean up after your birds (and yourself) or at least keep you company while the tasks are being done.

Giving your birds the attention and stimulation they need can be very difficult when all you want to do is lie in bed and hide from the world. Put the lights and TV or radio on a timer so they don't have to sit in a dim, silent room while you struggle to find the energy to get up and going. Make sure they have toys they can play with when they start their day.

Talk to your birds when you're feeling down- you can say anything to them and they'll never judge you.
I hope this and the advice of other members helps.

 

[DonnaBudgie]

I don't think you should rehome your birds unless it's absolutely necessary, and not just for their sake but for yours. Rehoming them may ultimately make you feel worse. You may feel like a failure in that aspect of your life and you don't need that, too, with all the other negativity.

 

[rheashard2]

I don't think you should rehome your birds unless it's absolutely necessary, and not just for their sake but for yours. Rehoming them may ultimately make you feel worse. You may feel like a failure in that aspect of your life and you don't need that, too, with all the other negativity.

Exactly, depression tends to exagerate negative feelings and emotions. Logic means nothing irregardless of the situation. Depression throws things out of proportion. Your mood and personality will determine responses. Teary, angry, apathy and others can cycle and recycle. Breaking that loop can seem impossible or not worth the effort.

 

[Sun's Big sister]

My bird is my motivation to get up. First stop, toilet for me....then directly to cage to say good morning and get his bowls. I go to the kitchen and change things out and bring it back to him. My Sun will fuss until I do! This might be the only thing I do that day, but at least he got his pellet/seed mix. The cleaning is something I do when it strikes me. I have one tray ready with paper and "just" need to switch them out. It is physically that can be a struggle with other health issues I have. I agree with other person, if I manage to stand up I do something for me and something for him. Fresh food he gets when I make food for me. He like all the veggies that I like.

I agree with the other person. Talking to your bird is good for you, and my Sun is happy to have me repeat to him our few calls to each other. Hello and Oh Boy! But hey he is amazon....and his other sounds I cannot ever replicate.

Sometimes I wonder about also about rehoming, but he has lived with another human with depression before. And has already made it to 40 yo.

Not sure if helpful but I know my bird helps me and can survive "depression".

 

[foxgloveparrot]

I've had a lot of mental issues in the past, so here's some advice that helped me and I hope it helps you too.

I agree with Donna that you should do as much as possible when you have more energy or are feeling better, so you have much less pressure when you're not feeling as good.

Feel-good music can be seriously motivating. It will realistically not help all or even most of the time, but sometimes it can give you the motivation you need to get a few chores done.

Ask for help. If your family is willing to help with quicker tasks, request that they do.

Interact with your birds at times when they're calmer, like before their bedtime and when they've recently had a bath. This will help your interactions remain positive so you don't go resentful of your birds (which I often did). It can also motivate you to care for them. I personally found myself a lot more willing to take care of my birds if I was frequently exposed to the positive side of their personalities.

Be kind to yourself. Birds will do okay for a couple days with only dry food if you can't make them veggies. It's fine to make bigger batches of chop and keep them in the fridge over the next few days. With cage cleaning, it's okay to only do it weekly if you can't do it as often as recommended. If your energy level rises at any point, get as much done as you can.

 

[kme3388]

I don’t have depression. I’m sorry that you do. I hope you feel better. I do struggle physically. Badly to be honest. Sorry for the comparison.. I’m just trying to relate. My parrots inspire me every single day. 2 of my parrots have broken wings, and are feather pluckers. One of them used to self mutilate. They both have over came so much. They are inspirational to me. They keep me going.

I also know that I have to clean their cages, take them out, feed them, and such daily. It really keeps me moving.

If you feel you can no longer care for your parrots is there someone that can temporarily step in?