Nervous breakdown?

[Farnoosh]

I am in tears as I type this.
My sweet pineapple green cheek conure, who has always been a gentle, tender, and sweet soul, is not the same bird anymore.
A bit of a background:
about a month and a half ago, I got an eviction notice from my landlady as she is downsizing and I need to move out. This, combined with my mother having a bad fall and breaking her foot, has shifted and changed Paisley's routine (and mine), creating a lot of stress in the home.
Paisley loves my mother and always looked forward to seeing her – which was on a regular basis – and getting a bit of socializing, as most people who visit me in my place never really paid any attention to Paisley and she doesn't like that. So she appreciates my mother and unfortunately as a result of the fall, Paisley hasn't been able to see my mom in over a month. Also, I've been quite stressed and anxious about all of these changes myself, and I know that my emotions have impacted her immensely. She began acting out about a couple of weeks after my mom broke her foot. She began to vocalize a lot and also, interestingly, was absolutely not about any noises coming from the hallway – such as people talking, elevator sounds, etc., and would fly to the door and act as though she wanted to get out in the hallway. As if she's desperate for socializing with someone out there, or maybe, I'm wondering, if she is just waiting for my mom.
She also doesn't appreciate that I've been on the phone so much trying to get in contact with people for finding a place. I noticed now that every time I grab my phone, it's like she gets anxiety. In short, she hates my phone.
On one unfortunate occasion, when I was in the midst of my own stress, and I am NOT okay with what happened, I got really angry and yelled at her! Another time she bit me super hard, and again I got angry with her and screamed at her. Ever since then, she's not the same bird anymore. I know it's my fault, that I should have been a better human and not yelled at her even though I was super stressed, but it happened and I'm not proud of it. I have to admit that I am just a flawed human and guilty of acting as such, and I feel so bad about it that since then I've been depressed and I can't stop the tears that I really shouldn't have lost it with her because I feel like now I've lost my bird. 😥
Don't really know what to do and I'm not sure if she will ever come back to herself again. There are moments when she acts like herself, and that's usually in the evening, but during the day, it's like she just wants to escape and go out in the hallway and all day she keeps on saying: "hi baby" (her usual words to me) over and over to me and I have to respond every single time and if I don't she will scream. I feel like she is constantly in fight or flight mode and no matter how much attention I give her and how sweet I am with her, she's just not herself.
I think I freaked her out by my behaviour, and she was already stressed and confused with all the changes. I don't know what to do except that I am thinking of taking her over to my mom's place for a few weeks so that she can get some space from me and be with my mom.
I think if she stays here she will just get more and more stressed because I have a lot of work to do and things to take care of with my move and I need help myself.
I just don't know what to do but I know I will talk to her doctor about it when she sees her next. She always seems to be unhappy and complaining, but I don't really know what she wants, and I think she just wants to get out of my apartment.
… Sadness filled my heart and I just don't know if my Paisley will ever come back to herself again.

 

[Free as a bird]

I am in tears as I type this.
My sweet pineapple green cheek conure, who has always been a gentle, tender, and sweet soul, is not the same bird anymore.
A bit of a background:
about a month and a half ago, I got an eviction notice from my landlady as she is downsizing and I need to move out. This, combined with my mother having a bad fall and breaking her foot, has shifted and changed Paisley's routine (and mine), creating a lot of stress in the home.
Paisley loves my mother and always looked forward to seeing her – which was on a regular basis – and getting a bit of socializing, as most people who visit me in my place never really paid any attention to Paisley and she doesn't like that. So she appreciates my mother and unfortunately as a result of the fall, Paisley hasn't been able to see my mom in over a month. Also, I've been quite stressed and anxious about all of these changes myself, and I know that my emotions have impacted her immensely. She began acting out about a couple of weeks after my mom broke her foot. She began to vocalize a lot and also, interestingly, was absolutely not about any noises coming from the hallway – such as people talking, elevator sounds, etc., and would fly to the door and act as though she wanted to get out in the hallway. As if she's desperate for socializing with someone out there, or maybe, I'm wondering, if she is just waiting for my mom.
She also doesn't appreciate that I've been on the phone so much trying to get in contact with people for finding a place. I noticed now that every time I grab my phone, it's like she gets anxiety. In short, she hates my phone.
On one unfortunate occasion, when I was in the midst of my own stress, and I am NOT okay with what happened, I got really angry and yelled at her! Another time she bit me super hard, and again I got angry with her and screamed at her. Ever since then, she's not the same bird anymore. I know it's my fault, that I should have been a better human and not yelled at her even though I was super stressed, but it happened and I'm not proud of it. I have to admit that I am just a flawed human and guilty of acting as such, and I feel so bad about it that since then I've been depressed and I can't stop the tears that I really shouldn't have lost it with her because I feel like now I've lost my bird. 😥
Don't really know what to do and I'm not sure if she will ever come back to herself again. There are moments when she acts like herself, and that's usually in the evening, but during the day, it's like she just wants to escape and go out in the hallway and all day she keeps on saying: "hi baby" (her usual words to me) over and over to me and I have to respond every single time and if I don't she will scream. I feel like she is constantly in fight or flight mode and no matter how much attention I give her and how sweet I am with her, she's just not herself.
I think I freaked her out by my behaviour, and she was already stressed and confused with all the changes. I don't know what to do except that I am thinking of taking her over to my mom's place for a few weeks so that she can get some space from me and be with my mom.
I think if she stays here she will just get more and more stressed because I have a lot of work to do and things to take care of with my move and I need help myself.
I just don't know what to do but I know I will talk to her doctor about it when she sees her next. She always seems to be unhappy and complaining, but I don't really know what she wants, and I think she just wants to get out of my apartment.
… Sadness filled my heart and I just don't know if my Paisley will ever come back to herself again.

Thats sad to hear. Have you ever thought of getting another bird? I think that some avian company really helps our birds be comfortable

 

[Terry57]

I'm so sorry for all the changes you and Paisley are going through. Please don't be so hard on yourself - we're only human and all of us have made mistakes.

My husband and I were forced to move 9 years ago, and my stress level was through the roof. My birds all felt it and I didn't think they would ever go back to how things were. It only took a couple of months in the new house and everyone was back how they had been before the move. Slater actually ended up being better than he had been before, he hasn't screamed for years now.

If you feel it's best to take Paisley to your Mom's, then that sounds like what may be best. It's hard enough to find a place and get packed and moved and I bet your Mom would enjoy her company. Would you be able to go and visit so that Paisley knows she hasn't lost you?

How much time did your landlady give you? I know how hard it is to find housing now, sending good wishes your way that you find a place soon that you like more than where you are.

 

[Farnoosh]

Thats sad to hear. Have you ever thought of getting another bird? I think that some avian company really helps our birds be comfortable

thank you for your response. I have thought about getting another bird, but I had a terrible experience the last time I did this with another bird and it turned out much worse than I thought so I don't think that will work out. Also, Paisley is more interested in humans than other birds…

 

[Farnoosh]

I'm so sorry for all the changes you and Paisley are going through. Please don't be so hard on yourself - we're only human and all of us have made mistakes.

My husband and I were forced to move 9 years ago, and my stress level was through the roof. My birds all felt it and I didn't think they would ever go back to how things were. It only took a couple of months in the new house and everyone was back how they had been before the move. Slater actually ended up being better than he had been before, he hasn't screamed for years now.

If you feel it's best to take Paisley to your Mom's, then that sounds like what may be best. It's hard enough to find a place and get packed and moved and I bet your Mom would enjoy her company. Would you be able to go and visit so that Paisley knows she hasn't lost you?

How much time did your landlady give you? I know how hard it is to find housing now, sending good wishes your way that you find a place soon that you like more than where you are.

Hi Terry,
I really truly appreciate your message. It was hopeful to read your words about how your birds recovered and one of them was even better than before! Thank you for sharing that. And thank you for taking the time, it was much appreciated.
I was given two months to leave. It's really impossible to find anything in Vancouver for the price I was paying for my rent, and the market is just awful. My apartment was just so perfect for me but I hope with some miracle I will find a suitable place. Paisley is now with my mom, and she knows my parents' place well and she is comfortable there, but I miss her so so much, however I think this was better for both of us at the moment considering how things are. My state of mind right now is not healthy for Paisley.
We just have to keep our fingers crossed and hope to find a home in this crazy world…
Thank you for all your support,
– farnoosh

 

[Terry57]

Hi Terry,
I really truly appreciate your message. It was hopeful to read your words about how your birds recovered and one of them was even better than before! Thank you for sharing that. And thank you for taking the time, it was much appreciated.

You're very welcome, my friend. I feel really sure that once things calm down again that your Paisley will go back to being who she has always been.

I was given two months to leave. It's really impossible to find anything in Vancouver for the price I was paying for my rent, and the market is just awful. My apartment was just so perfect for me but I hope with some miracle I will find a suitable place.

Do you only have 2 weeks left to find something? I read that your landlady is downsizing, does that mean she is moving into your apartment?
Are you on a lease or a month to month?

I found this page, and some of it may apply to your situation. If so, you may be entitled to more time than you were given, especially if you are on a lease.

https://tenants.bc.ca/your-tenancy/evictions/#two-and-four-month-eviction-notices-for-landlords-use

Also, if you move and your landlord doesn't use the apartment for the reason she gave you you could be due money from her.

Were you served with the proper paperwork from your landlord?

It may be a good idea to call the RTB and explain what's going on, what form your landlady gave you, etc.

Tenant Infoline​

• 604-255-0546
• 1-800-665-1185

Paisley is now with my mom, and she knows my parents' place well and she is comfortable there, but I miss her so so much, however I think this was better for both of us at the moment considering how things are. My state of mind right now is not healthy for Paisley.

I'm glad you did this. Paisley gets a holiday and you won't have to worry about that beautiful baby while you're dealing with this.

We just have to keep our fingers crossed and hope to find a home in this crazy world…
Thank you for all your support,
– farnoosh

I'm keeping my fingers crossed and sending all my prayers your way, I remember how freaked out I was when we were evicted so that my former landlords could sell their house, and the housing situation wasn't anywhere near as bad as it is now.

You got this, I have faith❤️

 

[Farnoosh]

You're very welcome, my friend. I feel really sure that once things calm down again that your Paisley will go back to being who she has always been.


Do you only have 2 weeks left to find something? I read that your landlady is downsizing, does that mean she is moving into your apartment?
Are you on a lease or a month to month?

I found this page, and some of it may apply to your situation. If so, you may be entitled to more time than you were given, especially if you are on a lease.

https://tenants.bc.ca/your-tenancy/evictions/#two-and-four-month-eviction-notices-for-landlords-use

Also, if you move and your landlord doesn't use the apartment for the reason she gave you you could be due money from her.

Were you served with the proper paperwork from your landlord?

It may be a good idea to call the RTB and explain what's going on, what form your landlady gave you, etc.

Tenant Infoline​

• 604-255-0546
• 1-800-665-1185

I'm glad you did this. Paisley gets a holiday and you won't have to worry about that beautiful baby while you're dealing with this.

I'm keeping my fingers crossed and sending all my prayers your way, I remember how freaked out I was when we were evicted so that my former landlords could sell their house, and the housing situation wasn't anywhere near as bad as it is now.

You got this, I have faith❤️

thank you so much for your kind words and your thoughtful message <3
it means a lot.
Yes I have actually already contacted the tenants board. I was on a month-to-month. I got my eviction notice before March 1 and technically I was to move out by May 1, but I got an extension from her so now I have until June 1. Her story is that her parents are downsizing and will be living in this flat. This is the story that everybody is familiar with these days, even the tenants' board, and unfortunately what people do is bring their family for a few months and then the family leaves and then they get new tenants and raise the rent. The apartment I am living in now is worth at least $700 more a month than what I am paying for it. I was such a good tenant for so many years, but at any rate, that's how the world is these days.

So I have until June 1, so I have a little bit more time. I'm happy Paisley is now at my parents place and I think it's easier for both of us, but I do miss her so badly!
Thank you so much for spending the time to find that link for me. I appreciate that so much.

Please send your prayers our way and I will keep you posted on the progress.
Thank you Terry 🌷 🙏

 

[SailBoat]

Your stress will be felt my your parrot! Put a hold on it!
When you are talking to your mother, simply turn it to speaker phone, and have your parrot join the conversation! Things will be much better for everyone!

 

[Farnoosh]

Your stress will be felt my your parrot! Put a hold on it!
When you are talking to your mother, simply turn it to speaker phone, and have your parrot join the conversation! Things will be much better for everyone!

Good idea about the speakerphone thanks sailboat!

 

[Terry57]

Have you had any luck yet with finding a new place? Still sending prayers and good wishes your way❤️