Thanks for all of the replies everyone,
We are in no rush, and not completely set on an alex yet, just taking our time and doing some research and trying to handle other birds as much as possible.
As far as bluffing goes, I can tolerate it... hubby I am not so certain about. He is very intelligent but ever since we played with an amazon about 4 months ago he really thinks he wants a bigger bird

I'm more thinking medium sized myself, and something a little less hyperactive than a conure since she already keeps me on my toes. He won't go for a cockatiel (WHICH I KNOW IF HE GAVE IT A CHANCE HE'D LOVE IT) and I can't figure out why! We played with a really sweet one that cuddled right up to me and he really wasn't into it.
I would personally not get another baby, simply because I want our next bird to be an adoptee rather than a newborn. I'm going to be dealing with puberty with Kyo (we are probably going to wait until after this happens) so we are thinking something already a bit set in their ways would be best.
The space is somewhat of an issue for now. When the cats are gone we can open up the entire entrance level and upstairs level for birds, but for now Kyo is in one room (unless the cats are safely locked in the basement when dad isn't around that is ), so I think this alone might not allow us a larger bird. I wouldn't want to limit a bird that needs tons of room and make it unhappy.
Hubby THINKS he wants a grey, and I've had him out with me to see some in a pet store last week and the Alex was out of his cage. He was not eager to step up, but he didn't show any aggression, unlike like the grey... and the illigers macaw (which I secretly think is adorable but she terrifies me at the same time) ... and the big blue and gold macaw did. I know for sure big macaws are out of the question for us, as I simply couldn't get over the fear of that HUGE snapper.
I think we can tolerate a louder bird than Kyo, but probably not cockatoo or macaw loud. Well, I could tolerate it but I don't think hubby could

(hence why I'm trying to keep his mind off a grey).
So, in an ideal situation (which I realize would never happen) the second bird would;
-Be mature
-Medium sized
-Calm
-Medium noise level
-only moderately nippy (heh I know...)
-doesn't need to be cuddly
-slightly independent
-would potentially tolerate Kyo under supervision /Kyo could tolerate them under supervision. They don't have to love each other, would just like them to respect each other if possible
-Chatty like Kyo! Interested in learning some phrases and tricks.
(anyone else see how well a cockatiel fits this description?! Hubby won't hear it though

)
Anyone have any other good ideas of species to look into? We have all the time in the world.