The ups, downs, random thoughts, and pleas for advice on adjusting to life with Ruby

[Bekki]

Here is something that experienced bird owners probably know, that I was happy to learn about. I was researching bird behaviors, and came across a vet that shared information I haven't seen in any other bird behavior articles, specific to the difference in which eye they are using to observe. I know about eye pinning, but it never mattered with my conures, as they have dark eyes and it's near impossible to see them pin. It's different with Ruby, I can clearly see when she is pinning and have read several articles about pining and what it can mean.

Anyhoo, this vet shared that when parrots (or chickens) have feathers ruffled or standing on end and use their left eye to look at something with eyes pinned that indicates fear and it's likely he/she is going to show a sign of aggression. That if they are mouthy with a fabric item that is nearby, like a towel or blanket that is also a sign of fear. Now they will do similar things if they are excited, but because of bird neurology they will look at you with their right eye if they think you are familiar or they will look at you with their left if they are expecting you to move quickly. That because of how their brain works they can do different actions more quickly based on which eye they see it from (those weren't his words, but my interpretation of them). If a bird only looks at you with their left at first, and then gradually starts looking at you with their right eye that means they are starting to calm down.

I mean, in the big picture, once you really know a bird, you can read their body language, but the whole "looking with the left vs. the right was fascinating to me!!

So, while I think I'm understanding of Ruby's body language, I'm now I'm going to be paying more attention to what eye Ms. Ruby is looking at me with during our interactions and see if this lines up with the vet's statements.

 

[Scott]

Fascinating insights! Quite familiar with eye-pinning of Amazons as precursor to behaviors but unaware of split eye perceptions. Will have to experiment with my Gonzo!!

 

[Bekki]

Fascinating insights! Quite familiar with eye-pinning of Amazons as precursor to behaviors but unaware of split eye perceptions. Will have to experiment with my Gonzo!!

4 month update!
** Side note - I have noticed her use of left/right eyes, and it seems to be fairly spot on, but only when she is in an agitated state.

The last month was more of the famous "1 step forward, 2 steps back" with Ruby's progress, but we are still seeing positive forward progression.

Last weekend I had been gone most of the morning and afternoon, and so my husband had let the birds out of their cages so their out of cage time was consistent even though I wasn't there to provide it. When I got home, Ruby was on her perch that is attached to her cage, and I was chatting with my husband standing a bit in front of her. She reached out with her beak to grab my shirt (something she has done frequently) and I asked her if she wanted to step up, and offered my arm WHICH SHE ACCEPTED!! This was a first, she usually only accepts my offers to step up if she has somehow thrown herself from her cage.

I praised her, and gave her a treat. I brought her up to my eye level and talked with her for a few moments, and then offered her the perch to see if she wanted to step down, which she did and for which she received a treat (step down is often as much of a trick as step up!). I then offered her my arm again asking if she wanted to step up - and she did!! We did this for several minutes before she lost interest and I was on a Parront high!! I thought - FINALLY - progress!!

The next day I went in, she worked her way down to the perch, I asked if she wanted to step up - she did, I rewarded. We chatted for a bit, I asked if she wanted to step down, she did, I rewarded. I asked if she wanted to step up, she began to - then decided to beak me. I was like - okay (internally disappointed). We worked on some of her other tricks, and then I tried the step up again - and she beaked me again - que the "wah, wah wah" sound in my mind. I remember reading Wrench advising someone about the tango dance that often happens with new Fids and was not going to let my disappointment color the positivity of the progress.

So - all week we followed our normal routine, with me offering her the option to step up at any opportunity I could in the hopes of more forward progress. No interest all week. Lots of her beaking me to reinforce her "no" response.

So - yesterday I was doing a deep clean of my bird room and after a few hours I heard Ruby flapping her wings, which isn't a normal thing she does, usually only if someone is getting a treat for her and has their back turned. I was no where near the treats and so I turned around very puzzled to find her on her perch. I said, "What do you need, Ruby?" and she lifted her foot up. I asked, "Do you want to step up?" to which she responded by flapping and lifting her foot up. I thought, what's the worst that could happen, she beaks me? I've survived that before, so I walked over and she stepped right up!! I rewarded her, talked to her and offered her an opportunity to step down, which she declined, so I was like - okay, let's go walk around the house for a bit. I walked her around, and once we got into the living room I offered her the boing (she declined), I offered her the play gym (she declined) I offered her both the couch and my chair (she declined both). So I stood there talking to her and to my husband, and then she decided on her own that she did, in fact, want to be on the chair. So when she stepped down I rewarded her, then I sat in the chair so I could be nearby, in case she became nervous. After a bit she flew over to the couch to hang out with my husband for a while, then back to the chair. She did that several times over the next hour, then she finally flew to the boing and proceeded to happily chatter and shred some toys I had placed nearby. She did try to fly out of the living room at one point, landing herself in our hallway. My son happen to be coming out of his room, and he offered her a step up, which she declined by walking past him (no beaking or biting, which I'll count as a positive) and she began to make her way to me. My son was disappointed, and in hindsight I should have stayed out of her sight to see if she would step up for him. I'll do better next time.

However, she she got to me she stepped up, and I thought maybe she wanted to return to her cage/room, but she did not! So I brought her back into the living room, where she visited the chair and couch again, finally returning to her boing to continue to her work of destruction on the toys. She stayed with us in the living room for her longest adventure yet! Any time I would leave the room she would call for me, and I would call back to reassure her I was returning.

Over the course of the rest of the evening I would offer her opportunities to go out of the room with me, or to return to her cage - and she let me know that she was NOT ready, thank you very much. I brought water to her a few time, which she gratefully had several long drinks from (and then tried to nip my hands and steal the bowl). I have water attached to the play gym in the living room, but I don't have any way to make water accessible to her when she is on the boing. Since she has only been willing to visit the living room 2 or 3 times since moving in with us, and the previous times for less than an hour or so I haven't had to address this issue. The Sunnies all go to the play gym where I have water bowls mounted when they need a drink, but Ruby is still afraid of the play gym (I have no idea why, it was hers at her previous home, but she was seldom given an opportunity to use it).

I'm not holding my breath in thinking that when I go home from work today she will be happy and ready to visit the living room again, but I'm at least going to give her the option. I am just so grateful that she is finally at a point that she is willing to ask to step up!! I honestly didn't expect that for several more months!!

I will also remember to grab more photos - I haven't posted any in awhile, and photos are fun!!

 

[saxguy64]

WOW!!! Wonderful progress! It takes time, but sooooo worth it when things come around. Keep up the good work, you're doing great! Thanks for the update, and yes, more pictures please

 

[Scott]

You're doing so well with Ruby despite occasional setbacks. You're dealing with an intelligent creature whose motives and thought processes remain enigmatic!

 

[Bekki]

Quick question - Ruby DESTROYS her "boing" perches within a week of getting a new one. But she LOVES to sit on them, they are her favorite perches. Any suggestions for preventing the destruction, or suggestions for a more durable, but comparable replacement?

Now it's time for another update!! You know I'm long winded, so be prepared to read a short novel.
For those that don't have the patience for my longwinded style - TL/DR - My cousin and aunt are still ridiculous and Ruby is showing more signs of trusting me and becoming comfortable with her environment.

We have now had Ruby in our home for about 5 and 1/2 months! Time, as always, goes so quickly. She continues to surprise and amaze me on a regular basis. We have had some recent growth/accomplishments, most of them in the last few days.

One thing that is interesting to me is that she is STILL molting. Like - how long is this going to go on? I've read that it varies from bird to bird - but O holy feathers, batman. And her poor beak just keeps peeling and looks terrible!! Maybe it's because she is so young her body is a doing a SERIOUS molt but I can't imagine it's very comfortable for her, and I wish there was something I could do to help speed it along!

Ruby's owner, my cousin, decided to visit (after 5 months have rolled by) a few weekends ago. When she walked into the room to see Ruby, Ruby was so happy!! She ran right over to her, asked to be picked up, and wanted to just be close to her. My cousin sat with her for about an hour and a half - taking photos and such. She then goes on to talk about how maybe they have their own place then they will build Ruby a walk in aviary on the back of the house, because when she brings Ruby home she plans to get a second macaw so she can breed Ruby. I am not happy about her plans, but I have no power over her decisions.

I was really worried, because the last time Holly had left Ruby it took well over a week for Ruby to emotionally recover and "act normal". She was angry and upset, and continued to call for my cousin for well over an hour. My heart broke for her. I had braced myself for her tantrums, and that day and the following day she did do all of the things I expected, refused to interact with me, be extra lungey and bitey (I don't think those are actual words, but they fit), but it was only 2 days as opposed to over a week - so I thought that was excellent progress.

When my cousin brought Blu to me (I'm bird-sitting for the week), I told my cousin that Ruby was out, if she wanted to go spend some time with her. Here's where it gets interesting. She walked into the room, and this time (only 2 weeks since her last visit), Ruby did not react AT ALL. She didn't get excited, she didn't come over to her or anything. I just stood back and observed, I may have said something like - "look who's here Ruby" in an excited tone, but Ruby still didn't react, just stood in her same spot looking at everyone. Then my cousin walked up to her, talking and offering her hand, and Ruby lunged and gave her a warning beaking. My cousin stepped back and was like - that's weird, and tried again - same result. So then my cousin said, well I'm going to step over here like I'm leaving and watch her run to me. (I thought, that's very emotionally manipulative, but whatever).

She moved over to the doorway, and Ruby did come over towards the doorway, like she does when anyone stands in the doorway. My cousin reached for again - Ruby didn't even try to beak her, she pulled back, came away from the doorway and moved over to perch next to where I was standing. I tried really hard to keep my face emotions under control, but I couldn't stop myself from reassuring Ruby that everything was okay. My cousin said, I don't understand, why is she mad at me? I didn't say anything and then her boyfriend said, maybe it's because you left her here last time.

We stood there in silence for a bit, and then I said, well, I'll leave the room, if you would like some time with her by yourself and she said - no, we still have to finish packing for vacation, we are going to go. I said, okay have a good vacation and then she left. My husband was in the garage and he said she didn't say a word to him, just got in her jeep and left.

I'll own my pettiness - I was gloating after she left. All I could keep thinking was - what did she expect? Did she really think there would be no repercussions for her choices? I know I shouldn't take such joy in Ruby's behavior towards my cousin and that I should hope that she retains a connection to my cousin, but I'm kinda bitter about how she has handled every single thing about Ruby as well as her future plans for her. I can only hope she does some serious soul searching while on vacation. I plan to have a meeting with her after the vacation so we can again establish expectations and time constraints.

So - the exciting part? We built a play gym for Ruby back before she even came home with us. She has always been fearful of it and made every effort to stay away from it. I don't know if Ruby had a growth spurt or what, but yesterday she climbed onto the play gym I built for for back in May. She crawled all over it!! Then she started making sounds that she typically only makes when it's dark and she's in bed, that I call her "sleepy sleep" sounds. So I approached her to investigate, worried something was wrong (my daughter had let her out before I got home from work because I had to work over and I didn't want to limit her out of cage time for the day). When I approached her she fluffed up, again, an abnormal behavior. I became very concerned that she was in pain, or that something was wrong. I was doing a visual examination and raised my to get her to tip her head back to try to "beak" me, which is her normal behavior when I've attempted to pet her. She didn't raise her head, just started trembling. I grew even more concern and slowly lowered my hand towards her head to see if she would let me touch her head and see if I could feel anything (a long shot, but I was thinking on the fly). She just stayed very still and let me pet her. Once my hand was on her head she tipped her head down, which is the same behavior my conures do when they want me to pet them. So I kept petting her (and checking to see if she reacted in discomfort in any way). Then when I stopped petting her she stopped being fluffed up and went about playing with her toys.

One thing I've noticed about her - when she makes progress, aka does something out of her comfort zone, she trembles. Based on her behavior for the rest of the night, nothing was wrong with her at all, she was just going out of her comfort zone by allowing me to pet her!

This was so HUGE for us. No one else has been able to pet her, other than my cousin, since she stopped being "bird formula" fed.

Then, about 20 minutes later, she climbed to her side perch and made those sounds again, and I went to her to see if she wanted another "scritchen", but she wanted to step up!! So we did a step up training for a few minutes - which is also HUGE because she RARELY initiates these types of interactions!! She wouldn't let me pet her while she was stepped up, but that's okay, I'll take whatever she is willing to give!

The main take away from all of this for me is that the time in between her "growth" moments, where she allows human interaction, or she gets onto something that previously scared the beejeezus out of her is getting shorter and shorter, which is such a positive thing. I really thing she is allowing herself to trust more - trust me, and also herself (which I think not being clipped and being able to fly has helped her trust herself).

I know it's a roller coaster. I know I could go home today and she won't step up, or she won't let me give her scritchens, and that's okay. It's a process and the rewarding feeling I have when she DOES allow it - it's a feeling that I don't even have a comparison for.

Oh - and for reference to my future self - She currently says "Hi" most consistently. She also says Hi Ruby, Good Girl, and she has started to say "I'll be right back" - which are all the phrases she hears most consistently from me. She also "barks" like my dogs, which is probably the sound she hears the most. I'm trying to be more intentional with my "consistent" phrases, and I'm hoping her next words are "Good morning beautiful" which is what I say when I uncover her and bring her breakfast.

 

[saxguy64]

Wow!!! Great progress! Thanks for keeping us updated. I really feel that over time, Ruby will more consistently turn to you as her favored person, and cousin will get the cold shoulder. Ruby knows a good thing when she sees it. As for cousin breeding her, very bad idea. She'd be in over her head in a heartbeat. That assumes that Ruby and another bird get along in the first place. There's zero guarantee on that, and it's not something that can be forced. Fortunately, that would be several years away before she's even old enough to start breeding. She's still jus a baby if I remember correctly? For now, just keep doing what you're doing. It's working!

Not sure what to tell you about the boings. My two use them. My ekkie climbs around on it all the time, and never chews it or his rope perch. My YNA... Yeah, rope perches don't last long, (maybe a few days now she's learned to destroy them) so I gave up. The boing still gets chewed, but not nearly as frequently as the perches, so I just have to replace it about every 6 months before the fibers become an issue. Once she starts really picking at it, it's over. She uses it like her own personal escalator/spiral staircase to get from upper perches to the lower ones where the dishes are -until she decides it's time to chew it up. No great ideas on what to replace it with if she gets as determined as she is with the rope perches. More tree branches, I suppose...

 

[Laurasea]

What's Ruby's weight? In pictures looks a tad thin.
Sometimes a prolonged molt can indicate a chronic low level health issues.
Molt I offer an increase in protein, I don't have sr my finger tips, but I've read several articles that 25% increas in protein needed for feathers.
A happy update. And I would have Gloster too

 

[Bekki]

What's Ruby's weight? In pictures looks a tad thin.
Sometimes a prolonged molt can indicate a chronic low level health issues.
Molt I offer an increase in protein, I don't have sr my finger tips, but I've read several articles that 25% increas in protein needed for feathers.
A happy update. And I would have Gloster too

Thank you for pointing that out!! At her vet visit several months ago her weight was perfect (according to the CAV), but with this molt going on so long, she may have lost weight. I have considered buying a perch scale, but since I'm still getting her to trust me handling her I'm not having success in getting her to willingly step on to anything other than her cage, my couch or most recently her play gym.

I'll do some research on incorporating more protein into her daily meals.

 

[Bekki]

It's the tail wiggles for me!! We are at the 6 month mark, and it's taken this long for me to see the infamous "tail wiggle" that I've read about when Macaws are happy. When I first began researching I really focused on "body language" so I could learn to interpret what messages she was trying to tell me, and I was constantly looking for the "tail wag", but the only "tail wag" I would ever see was right before she had to poop! But since my last posting - there have been tail wags APLENTY!! If I leave the room and come back in - tail wag. If I'm working at my computer and look up at her and make eye contact - tail wag.

Oh, and another favorite thing - sometimes when I go in to cover her up she is asleep, and sometimes she isn't. Just last night when I went to cover her up she said "HI!". I said Hi baby, it's night night time, you need to go night night. Then she said some gibberish that ended with "Good girl". I said yes, you are a good girl, now go night night. That little interaction made my heart so full!

Her molt is still going on, but with much less intensity than last posting. I've incorporated protein into her feedings per the recommendations and research I've done, and she LOVES it. I've also increased her "showers" and she seems to be getting more comfortable being on the receiving end of the shower.
She has gained enough trust in me to reach out and grab my hair while I'm tidying her cage. Before she would just run from me, or try to scare me with lunges. Thanks to the great advice I received on here I gave no reaction to those behaviors, so now she grabs my hair. I don't react to that either, except sometimes to laugh. She's acts very skittish after grabbing my hair, so I'm guessing she tried that with someone in her previous home and it didn't go over well. She's not harsh when she grabs it, it feels no different than a comb.

I don't know if I've been more attuned to her personality/attitudes or if she is being more expressive in showing them, but her attitude on the days I work in the office is quite fierce!! As soon as I get home I let her out, and she is just MAD. She calms down after I focus on the her and we have some solid interaction time, but watching her stomp around a rattle gibberish at me like she's chewing me out makes me grin from ear to ear.

At the request of my family and friends I started making ticktoks with her. I'm terrible at filming them and haven't yet captured anything that is very interesting, but it's one more way I can interact with her and share with my family and friends this adventure we are on.

Other than that there are no real significant updates. We are just cruising along, learning to trust each other a little more every day!!

 

[IcyWinteRose]

What bird toy subscription do you use? I just read all of your posts from the start and I love the progress im reading about and her positive interactions sound so cute.

 

[Bekki]

What bird toy subscription do you use? I just read all of your posts from the start and I love the progress im reading about and her positive interactions sound so cute.

Thank you!! I use the subscription from the Bird Tricks website. I love their training videos, and the subscription box makes it easy for me to ensure she is getting new toys regularly. I also get a subscription box for my dogs - so all pets are happy!!

 

[Bekki]

Month 7 (almost 8) Update

Gosh, time goes so quickly. I have (self diagnosed ) ADD, and I forget that this forum exists sometimes!!

Ruby has made some significant progress regarding confidence since my last post. Within the last few weeks she not only gets on the play gym we built for her, but moves onto all parts of play gym, as well as climb onto the window and climb up to the curtain rod and hang from the curtain rod while she tries to destroy my window!! (I had to move the play gym far enough away that she could still get the sun rays, but not destroy the window.

She also seems to really enjoy when we have visitors. I, myself, don't like visitors, so she must be an extrovert. In fact, the last guests that we had (family that was in from Indiana) she would pull the hats off of the kids while they were sitting on the couch, and when the wife walked into the room Ruby flew over to her and just sat on her arm for a bit, and then flew to the other side of the room to the husband and sat on his arm for a bit!! I was SHOCKED, and very, very pleased. I want her to be socialized, and realize that humans, in general, do not mean her harm in any fashion!!

She is becoming more and more comfortable with my touching her and with her reaching out and touching/grabbing me. It was a bit scary for me at first - I can't lie. At one point she reached out and grabbed my lip, and for a split second I thought - well - I'm about to have a piercing that I never wanted. When I didn't pull away or yell, I think she got a little wigged out as she released my lip and moved away from me and just looked at me for, what felt like hours, but was probably only 30 seconds or so.

It makes me deeply jealous of those that have their fids from the baby stage so that the fid completely trusts everything they do.

I'm learning her vegetable preference, both type of vegetables, and how they are cut up. She really doesn't care for peppers, and will only eat carrots if the chop is cut up very fine.

Her nails are longer than I care for them to be, but since she isn't comfortable being handled I'm struggling with how I can transport her to get them trimmed. I'm going to call around and see if any Avian Vets/Vet Techs will come to me (I know - for probably a hefty fee). But I think it would be less stress on her than trying to load her up and transport her to the avian vet.

She has more "downy" looking feathers that she probably needs to molt, but I feel like she has been molting the majority of the time I've had her!!

When she gets irritated at me she climbs to the top of her cage and "pouts" to which I just smile and shake my head. She mostly gets irritated when I take away things that could potentially be a danger to her.

Her visits to the living room have upped from once a week to 2-3 times a week. I'll be happy when she joins us in the living room every evening.

No new additions to her vocab

 

[Bekki]

Month 8 - Big updates!

We have now had Ruby at our house for 8 months - I can't believe it's been that long! I decided to conquer my own fear of her beak/screaming and just take the hit. I had little pep talks with myself for DAYS, and played out worst case scenarios.

Then I did it - I just remained unflinching after I offered my hand and then she screamed and grabbed my hand and started squeezing really hard. I spoke very low and calmly told her to be easy and slowly started raising my hand that was in her beak (as if to pick her up by her beak). She released my hand, walked away from me to "pout" on the top of her cage. Within just a few moments she walked back down to me and lifted her foot, so I offered her my hand again.

Again she screamed, but she was so gentle. She wanted to touch and explore every finger and the pad of my hand, and she let me pet her head with my other fingers while she held on to my ring finger. I offered her my other hand and she did the same. The screaming was most startling, and I had to mentally remind myself her scream doesn't mean what I think it means.

And from there she has made some really wonderful progress. I'm working on teaching her bite pressure.

She comes into the living room to hang out with the family every single day - and sometimes stays with us even when the conures want to go to bed.

I advised my husband what I did - and he attempted the same, with almost the same results. She trusts me more, most likely because I spend the most time with her, but she does get excited when he comes home, and if he leaves the room she calls for him, and she will let him pick her up and take her out to the living room, even when I stay in another room! This is AMAZING to me.

Now I have to get my kids to be willing to take that initial "testing" squeeze.

She also was either bathed in a kitchen sink as a baby or learned very quickly from watching my sunnies. My aunt/cousins said they could never get her to bath, but I was letting my sunnies bathe in the kitchen sink while she watched, getting louder and louder with her calls for attention. Once they were done, I picked her up and brought her to the sink and she immediately put her head under the running water. The only issue is that she spread her wings, and her wingspan does not really align with my kitchen sink area. I've been showing her the bathtub/shower regularly, but can't get her to show the same interest as she does in the kitchen sink, but I'm going to keep trying!

She still will only get on the back of the couches/chairs in the living room, instead of the bird stands I have set up. She does love her pvc playgym in the bird room, so I think I may need to build her something very similar for the living room to give her a place other than the back of the couch/chair. Mostly because cleaning up her toy destruction from the couches/chairs is a PAIN, whereas if she was on a birdstand/playgym I have disposable shower curtains under there that I can just pick up and dump shreddings into the trash.

She dropped a tail feather that I found, and I checked it for the striations the avian vet showed me at her check up the first week we brought her home. The tail feather I found had zero striations!! I can't say for sure, but I'm going to believe that being with us has significantly reduced her stress.

One question I do have, for more experienced owners. She really really loves to mouth/beak my hands/fingers. She doesn't make the head bob motion, but twice now, after beaking/mouthing my hands/fingers, water has sort of "run out of" her mouth. She didn't head bob, so I don't think it was her regurgitating, and I always wash my hands before handling the birds, so I don't think it was anything on my hands. Should I stop letting her check out all my fingers? Could it have simply been because she was so excited to experience a touch/affection (I'm sure it's been lonely, not having anyone comfortable with touching you).

 

[saxguy64]

Wow, wow, wow! That's wonderful! Perhaps more so for you than Ruby, but it's all about building the relationship between you, and this is some fantastic progress. I think you'll see more gains in the near future since you have more trust in her, and she knows that. It's a two way street with them for sure. Keep it up, you're doing great!

 

[Scott]

Impossible to overstate magnitude of breakthrough! Conquering fear of Ruby's beak earned her respect as final impediment to indelible lifelong bond!

I'd continue allowing exploration of your hands and fingers barring regression. Unless it leads to similar, aggressive leanings toward others.

 

[Bekki]

Well, it's official, Ruby is mine!! I mean, we all suspected that she would be mine at the the end of this, but her previous owner finally conceded. I know she purchased her from a reputable breeder in Texas, but based on my previous experience with her and the Sunnies, I doubt she will give me her paperwork. Do you think I need to contact the breeder and ask for a copy of her papers? Can they even give them to me (If I prove I have her, basically due to abandonment?).

I also have a question - today I was letting her bathe in the kitchen sink, and she was having a great time, then suddenly she started biting my hand in a very malicious way, but her behavior in between bites wasn't aggressive, it was like she was so excited she couldn't control herself. I did my best not to react, but at one point I had an involuntary exclamation (that she didn't even seem to notice) and I decided my poor hand had had enough!

Is this something anyone else has experienced? Is there possibly something I am doing wrong, or something else I should be doing to prevent that? There really isn't space to put a "perch" in the sink, and I have tried introducing her to the bath/shower a few times, and will continue to do so, but in the meantime - any suggestions?

I've attached a pic of my hand immediately following today's bath and then an hour later for reference, just in case I'm being a drama queen about something I should accept as "normal".

Also, one of my sunnies has become so jealous that he aggressively flies at her without provocation, and so now I don't let them have out of cage time at the same time, and that's really bumming me out, because I feel like my sunnies are getting the short of the end the deal.

Ruby is wonderfully low maintenance when she is out out. She mainly stays on her play gym climbing all over and destroys her toys (as intended). She does not go after the sunnies, couldn't care less about them, but the jealous sunny hates her (I'm sure because she is getting attention from me).

It's like my jealous sunny can't get out of his horrormones. He is constantly trying to "engage" my hands, and wants to be sitting on me at all times. I only pet the top of his head, his diet is fresh veggies and fruit (not grapes or apples) and occasionally nuts, seeds/millet. I don't know what else I can do about his obsessive behavior.

So I would also love any suggestions for correcting his behavior as well.

I also included a pic of Ruby from today, the little minx!!

 

[Flboy]

Wonderful update!
The biting is most likely toddler overload! No malicious intent!

 

[Laurasea]

Congratulations on Ruby becoming your family member permanently!!!! I've had such a hard time reading this thread.......and the frustration I've felt towards your cousin!!! Who really seemed to only want Instagram moments and attention, not true care and work of parrot ownership!!

Omg this is huge!!!@ woot woot!!!!

On the bath I agree with above. Over stimulation. I let mine bath alone.

On Sunny...set aside his own one on one time try and have a pretty reasonable routine with it. My GCC and I have mommy and me time every evening around 8pm when all those pesky quakers are in bed.
I don't have much hormonal issues, there was one time ( 2 yesrs ago? Big hormonal year) mine was using my hand a lot for self pleasure ...I mostly ignored or redirect, it passed and hasn't returned

 

[Bekki]

Hello for anyone that is still following this thread!! I'm sure a few of you have wondered what in the hecking heck is going on with me and Ruby! I thought I would share a quick update. Yes, I do still have Ms. Ruby. We are taking everything day by day, and still seeing some progress. The most recent progress is that she has let me preen the pin feathers on her head!! She will now even fly to me and put her head down to request it. I know she had some that were really itching her and I like to think that I gave her some relief while also creating stronger trust bond between us.

I did have to make the decision that the conures have to stay in their cage if she is out, unless there is a closed door between them (ie she is in my daughters room with my daughter, and the conures are with me). The male conure would not stop dive bombing her, and I was just too worried she would retaliate and kill him. So now I break up my evenings between Ruby time and Conure time.

She suddenly began attacking any visitor we received, with zero provocation from them. They had simply walked in the door! She did some major cuts to my sisters face, but luckily missed her eye. We now have signs on the doors that they must knock and wait until a family members comes outside with them and walks in with them. We are doing training rewarding her for keeping her wings down (we learned the first indication she wanted to attack was doing "big wings" and each time she is able to go longer and longer (and sometimes not attack at all!)

We have also had an unfortunate development - increased self harm. When we took her to the vet last year the vet advised that we keep an eye on her right shoulder, he could see the beginnings of self harm. Well - that spot has gotten bigger, she also has a spot on her other shoulder, and has begun to pluck out large feathers from her wings - created a gap that reminds of when someone gets a tooth knocked out. She has also started breaking her tail feathers in half and barbering the others. I have been in consultation with my vet regarding ensuring it's not a result of anything I am doing. She has a clean cage, a morning diet of fresh vegetables, all day available of the recommended pellets by my vet as well as a mix of seeds and nuts recommended by my vet. She has a variety of toys and perches within her cage and she gets a minimum of 2 hours a day out of cage, and more hours than that on the days my schedule allows.

She has an avian vet appointment this Thursday for a more in depth examination to attempt to find out what the issue is. I know she has not really "bonded" with anyone in my family, although she does trust every single member. I believe she may be depressed, and I'm not sure what to do about it. But I will wait for the vet's guidance and figure out a path forward then.