The more I deal with people, the more I like birds

[BeatriceC]

I'm steaming mad right now. Remember how I told you that MrC was letting me rearrange the house so I can have a bigger bird room? Well, that's in progress, but there are some things that need to get done first. There's some background here, so hold on tight.

After MrC's first wife died he was together with another woman for ten years. For about 7 of those years she lived with him. When they broke up and she moved out, she left a whole bunch of stuff, including a crappy 1970's studio upright piano. There's other large stuff, but the piano is the most difficult to move. Before the bird thing ever came up we told her she had until July 31st to get her stuff out. This has to do with the fact that my MIL is getting on in years and she is moving into assisted living and distributing her stuff, so we need the ex-girlfriends stuff out to make room for the stuff is MIL's that she's giving us. So she got her books, I got rid of some clothes (who needs 72 bras?!), and told her she needed to take care of the rest. So she hired a piano mover but wasn't honest with the size or the difficulty of moving it out of the house (it either has to go up 7 steps to the main floor and then down 4, or it needs to go all the way around the house over concrete that is not level), so when they got here (4 days later than the cut off date, I might add), they said it would be more money, which she refused. Then she had the audacity to say that we needed to either find a cheaper mover or pay the difference. Well, the cheapest way to get it out of my house is to give it to one of the dozen people I know will come get it for free. If she wants it, it's her responsibility. I told MrC I want I out of my house immediately and I can make that happen. I'm not in the mood to be nice to a woman who's been taking advantage of him for the last 6 years and using his house as free storage. He needs the use of his house and there is absolutely no reason why he shouldn't be able to because he's a free storage unit for a woman who sends him vitriolic drunken emails a few times a week. Yes he used to love her, but that doesn't mean he has to be a doormat. I want him to tell her if it's not out of my house by end of day tomorrow it's going away on Saturday to the first person who shows up to get it. He doesn't want to be that "mean", saying we aren't in a hurry. Yes we are. I have that room practically unusable and need that thing gone, along with the large bench, the humongous amplifiers and all the other odds and ends. I'm done playing nice.

So pardon me. That screaming you might be hearing is me.

 

[CherylCali]

Bye bye piano, lol. Enough is enough.

CherylCali

 

[Flboy]

FYI the piano in my screwup cost me $1000 in med bills to resolve! My back!

 

[BeatriceC]

I've moved pianos before, and ones heavier than this one, but I'm not particularly willing to put any effort into this. My attitude is pretty bad. I dealt with the anger by taking a nap. Now I'm groggy and still mad. Grrrr. I'm about ready to put all her stuff on the front sidewalk and post a curb alert on craigslist. The only reason I don't is MrC would be mad at me.

 

[SailBoat]

Do it the right way; Send a signed receipt letter to the 'other women' with a date 10 days after the Mailed Date. Refer to your prior request and state that this is her last notice. On day eleven, place it at the curb (take care regarding location based on local law) and/or do your free thing! Give MrC a copy and let it happen.

FYI: Block Her Emails!

 

[BeatriceC]

I wish I could convince him to block her. But unfortunately, he's still quite heavily involved in the life of one of her sons, who has major physical and intellectual disabilities, so he still needs to be able to contact her in case of an emergency when he's with the (adult) kid. One of the great things about MrC is that he's a really good person and he's not going to disappear from the young man's life just because he and his mother are no longer an item.

But I did find out MrC sent a sternly written email telling her that the piano must go one way or another. He didn't give her a set deadline (which apparently deadlines mean nothing, because we already gave her one and it's four days past that, so he's just taught her that his deadlines mean nothing), so I'm slightly mollified, but not much.

Edited to add: I'm pretty sure that my state law says that after this much time everything she still has here is considered abandoned property and it's ours to do with as we wish, but I will double check on that.

 

[Dopey]

I would love to have 72 bras.
I'm thinking someone out there would love that piano and would be willing to move it if you don't charge them.
Since I play the piano (I have two plus a keyboard) I'm having a hard time with the getting rid of it. So, think about what you can do with it. Teach your birds a simple song - Mary Had a Little Lamb. Put some play gyms on the top of it. I know it is a thorn in your side but seriously...think outside the box with it.

 

[BeatriceC]

We have another piano. We don't want two. Plus we still have the issue of making room for my MIL's stuff, so the excess big stuff really needs to be gone. Supposedly she's called the piano movers back and made another appointment for today. We shall see. She's also supposed to be getting the rest of her stuff this weekend. She really doesn't have the space for any of it, but this is not my problem. MrC should not have to miss out on inheriting his parents' things because he's free storage for an ex girlfriend. She can pay for a storage unit like everybody else.

 

[Dopey]

She should pick it up - or should have picked it up a long time ago. She may not want to deal with it either. I know that feeling.

 

[BeatriceC]

Oh, I get it. It's been nice for her to leave it here, along with a bunch of other very large items, and she's probably not happy that the free storage is coming to an end. But it is at an end. Here's the whole story...

Back in May we started talking about needing her to get her stuff because of needing space for MIL's things. When we approached her about it, she said "just give it away". She was drunk at the time (part of the reason for their break up, to be honest...she's an alcoholic, though working and functional), so we decided to wait a little bit and ask her again when she was sober. We did that a few days later, and then waited until the last week of May, and asked again and she said "just give it away". So the last week of May I put an ad on Craigslist. I had a dozen offers for people to come get it within the first hour. I made plans with one person and made an appointment for her to get it the next day. That night the ex called back saying she wanted it and would make plans to come get it. This was now the first week of June. We said OK, but it absolutely must be gone by the end of July or it was going back on Craigslist. July 31st she called crying because she just hadn't found a mover yet and could we give her a few more days. Ugh. I wanted to say no. She'd had nearly 3 months at that point. MrC is nicer than I am. If for some reason the plans to get it today fall through, short of a massive earthquake, I'm putting my foot down on the matter and putting in on Craigslist again tomorrow.

 

[Tsali]

Wow. You have been so patient with the ex. I'd give her written notice that if she didn't remove it within xx days you will remove/dispose of it by whatever means necessary.

 

[BeatriceC]

Some of the patience stems from the fact that this house is huge. Depending on which set of plans you believe, it's either 4200 or 4700 square feet. Her stuff, including the piano, hasn't been a problem until now. Now we need the space. MrC needs space for his mother's things and I need the space to rearrange the house to make more room for the birds. So she got complacent thinking she could just wait forever until she moved into a bigger place and had the space for these things. Things changed for us, and because it is a lot of stuff and several very large items, we didn't want to be mean and say "now!" at first. I thought a couple months was more than generous. Now I have that room torn apart and can't put it back together until she gets at least the piano out, and my patience is completely gone.

 

[Tsali]

Some of the patience stems from the fact that this house is huge. Depending on which set of plans you believe, it's either 4200 or 4700 square feet. Her stuff, including the piano, hasn't been a problem until now. Now we need the space. MrC needs space for his mother's things and I need the space to rearrange the house to make more room for the birds. So she got complacent thinking she could just wait forever until she moved into a bigger place and had the space for these things. Things changed for us, and because it is a lot of stuff and several very large items, we didn't want to be mean and say "now!" at first. I thought a couple months was more than generous. Now I have that room torn apart and can't put it back together until she gets at least the piano out, and my patience is completely gone.

Oh heck, BE MEAN! Get 'er done. Your birds are more important than her piano. If she wanted her stuff, she would have made arrangements to get it a long time ago. She is taking advantage of you and Mr. C. It is YOUR house and you should have full use of it . Sorry for the rant - it just so pisses me off when people take advantage of kind people.

 

[BeatriceC]

Back in May I thought it was appropriate to give her a little time to get organized and find places for these things. Now I'm done playing nice. MrC did get more forceful last night, which is probably why there's suddenly plans again for the piano, but I think he should be more forceful about the rest of the stuff as well. The thing is, I do have places I can put the stuff, but it will wind up being buried and nearly impossible to get to, and make getting to the rest of my storage stuff that much more difficult, and I just don't want it in my house anymore. So, baby steps here with MrC. He's far nicer and more patient than I am.

 

[Taw5106]

I can't get past 72 bras, really???? That's insane!!! And if they are at your house, she's not wearing them, lol! Personally, I'd move her stuff out to the curb, and get someone to pick up the piano. My house, get your crap out. If you can't, I'll "clean" my house.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

 

[plumsmum2005]

Yes agree with Taw5106 but it isn't that simple is it? You do not want to cause a rift with MrC because then she has won hasn't she, caused discord where there should be harmony? I am sure you will get there and have your bird room.

72 bra's really, very strange, now they would have looked good on her doorstep LOL.

 

[Scott]

You are definitely in a difficult situation and have every right to assert what is fair from your POV. It is often stated "you can pick your friends but you can't pick your family." Sometimes the baggage remains far longer than the voyage.

Given the large size of your home, it is a very reasonable expectation for you to have a large bird-room!

Wonder if those 72 bras, if clean, would be appreciated at a women's shelter?

 

[BeatriceC]

She apparently has a shopping problem as well as an alcohol problem. When I got rid of the clothes (about 8 kitchen sized trash bags worth) about a quarter of the stuff still had store tags on them. And this is just what she left here. Ugh.

In good news, the piano is gone. There are still some other large pieces, but it was a hired piano mover that came for it, not her, so she needs to get over here with a trick and get the other stuff. But progress was made.

 

[BeatriceC]

Scott, that's exactly where they went, along with a bunch of other clothes.