sigh, I've become one of 'those' owners :(

[Rrrma]

Been a long time! Life has been hectic and really kind of turned to poo in some respects.

I'm overwhelmed and I need help dealing with my Rosie or I am going to have to rehome her

And maybe I should rehome her, maybe she would be better off.

It is really a rather long story but it all comes down to the fact now that I am a single mom with an 8yo and 4mo and no help. DH left me halfway through my unplanned pregnancy(found out at my consultation for a tubal, ha) and went back to England(I'm in AL)... Then I had a car accident, totaled the car, had the baby early, hemorrhaged, all hat good stuff. So now I am left alone with 2 kids, bad health, a house and car payment, and no support...

I just don't have time anymore to spend with the birds. The others are ok with this, as long as I let them out to roam they don't care if they get any 'me' time... but Rosie has always been my cuddler. She wants to be on me, she doesn't want to be out unless it is with me. And I just don't have the time for this anymore

So her reaction to this is screaming. She screams that loud eclectus scream at me multiple times an hour. I've tried ignoring it, I've tried addressing it, I've tried everything I can think of. She is mad at me because I won't hold her for hours anymore like I used to. And I am sorry that I can't, but that is life and life has gotten in the way of our relationship and I CAN'T change life... so I need her to change, which is a lot

So I need help. Is there even any hope that I can get her to stop screaming? I've tried everything I can think of, but what she wants is ME... and I just can not give her that. I want to be able to and we do cuddle when possible, which is hardly ever! It makes me sad, but I have crap to deal with that is just more important

Advice? Rehoming her would be extremely difficult as she HATES everyone else but me. She was a rehome, her original owner died suddenly and she was bounced around in homes until she was dumped on a parrot store to try and rehome her(they are the closest thing to a rescue we have around here). No one could ever handle her, not even the store owner whose passion is birds... and then I came along and she loved me instantly and we have never had any handling issues ever!

I love her to death, but I am at my whits end with the screaming...

 

[wenz2712]

Oh life has been a bit unfair to you of late by the sounds of it.. Hopefully things will turn out ok for you

I cant even advise you on your electus as I know nothing about them I have Amazons!! but I am pretty sure someone will be along shortly to try and give you some advice

I hope everything works out for you..... They do say "every cloud has a silver lining "
Best Wishes

WendyXX

 

[suebee]

i'm so sorry to read about your situation, and i do hope it turns out well sonner, tather then later for you all X

 

[Safira]

First I want to say I'm sorry to hear about the recent problems you have. When life throws a curve ball it can really suck.

What if you had a small table playstand that you could carry her from room to room with you. It's probably not that helpful since you likely have your arms full of babies, but if she can sit next to you on a kitchen counter, or coffee table, or desk while you do what you need to do will she still scream?

 

[usamimi]

I'm so sorry to hear about this, I hate to see people put in these situations. Do you have a friend or a family member that could maybe give her the attention she's craving until you get everything back on track? Life will get better and when it does, she'll be waiting.

 

[Rrrma]

She doesn't scream if she is out, but she doesn't want to be out unless it is ON me.

I have tried the stand thing, she just flies down and goes to her place.

She is used to being out and on me, I guess that is my own fault. She's always disliked stands and gyms, she won't play or perk on them for more than 2 minutes, so she has always just ridden my shoulder instead.

 

[Rrrma]

I'm so sorry to hear about this, I hate to see people put in these situations. Do you have a friend or a family member that could maybe give her the attention she's craving until you get everything back on track? Life will get better and when it does, she'll be waiting.

She hates every other person I've ever seen around her. She tolerates the family, but will still bite the hand that feeds her if it isn't me.

She's lived at my mom's house twice in the past couple of years(once for 2 months while we were buying a new house and moving, and once this past year while we were painting the house and building a bird room). She tolerates my mom the best, but will NOT let my mom touch her and WILL bite my mom when she feels like it. My mom then lived with me full time for 6 weeks after the wreck and Rosie at one point climbed onto my mom's leg and stared at her for a while, but then after that decided she disliked her more and started trying to bite her more often than before...

So my mom is the best hope I have, except she's really not... Rosie tolerates living at my mom's because the other parrots are there too, but I don't think she would tolerate without them.

Rosie does better if there are other birds in the house, otherwise she gets depressed, plucks, doesn't eat, etc...

Luckily she isn't depressed, she's just mad at me. She eats fine and all that stuff, just screams almost non-stop.

 

[mtdoramike]

I'm sorry to hear of your situation, but This is why I preach to people who want a bird. "NEVER, NEVER,NEVER get a bird based on your current situation. People need to look down the road at what curve balls life can and will throw at them and decide once it does, will they be able to coop with all the changes and still be able to care for their birds.

Your situation should be on a billboard for rescue centers, pet shops and such for reasons why people need to slow down and think and rethink their current and future situations before buying or adopting a bird that can live for 50 plus years.

It may come down to you having to rehome Rosie. The sad thing is, she may not take to anyone else and will continue to be bounced from home to home unless she stays in a rescue center.

 

[Rrrma]

I'm sorry to hear of your situation, but This is why I preach to people who want a bird. "NEVER, NEVER,NEVER get a bird based on your current situation. People need to look down the road at what curve balls life can and will throw at them and decide once it does, will they be able to coop with all the changes and still be able to care for their birds.

Your situation should be on a billboard for rescue centers, pet shops and such for reasons why people need to slow down and think and rethink their current and future situations before buying or adopting a bird that can live for 50 plus years.

It may come down to you having to rehome Rosie. The sad thing is, she may not take to anyone else and will continue to be bounced from home to home unless she stays in a rescue center.

Yeah, except, based on that no one should ever adopt a bird as you never know when you are going to have a crippling car accident or wind up with cancer or be the victim of a home invasion or....

The things that have happened to me in the past year are freak things no one could ever prepare for. If just my husband left me it would have been ok, if just the car accident happened it would have been ok, or if just having the baby early happened it woud have been ok, or if just my health complications happened it would have been ok... It is the fact my husband left AND I had a car accident AND had the baby early AND almost bled to death...
heck even my house got struck by lightning last year... blew a hole in the roof... and I am the shortest house in the neighborhood!

In a few years life will be better, which is why I am really hoping to find something to help and not rehome. It will break my heart if I had to find her a new home, she is my baby too! And I definitely wouldn't rehome her unless I was certain she liked that person and they could be her forever home. She would likely go to my mom's house first though, except my mom doesn't have other parrots and so theres that fact she might get depressed again.

It is kind of a double edged sword...

 

[mnkeastman]

I don't think anyone could have prepared for all the things that have happened to you recently. Sounds like you have had a very rough time of it and I feel for you and your birds and kids.

I wish I had enough bird expertise to help you but I hope everything looks up soon.

 

[Tammy]

I'm so sorry all of this has happened to you. I got my Amazon the same way. His owner died & he bounced around until he found me. I've had a premature baby also. I didn't hemmorage but my daughter had a birth defect that required a lot of surgery. I had to leave my husband when he tried to kill me for the 3rd time. The pain & stress you are going through are huge & unimaginable.

I don't know how long the screaming has been going on but I know a lot of people on here have trained their birds with a specific bird call for the bird. When they get home & the bird hears them, instead of screaming for them, they make a specific call & the owner makes the call back so the parrot knows they are there & will come see them when they can. With my OWA, when he hears my voice & starts screaching I yell to him that I'm coming. If I can't get him out or spend time, I go in and give head scritches & cuddle for a minute or two & then tell him I'm sorry but I have to get some things done. I recently had his wings clipped for the first time (He is 13 yrs old) due to his violent aggression towards EVERYONE except me & this has helped me get him to perch on things so he can go around the house with me. Before that I coulnd't keep him on a playstand or anything.

You will be in my thoughts & prayers.

 

[Rrrma]

She's not a flyer, but she "falls with grace" to the floor, I've tried getting her to stay on the perch with her favorite treats even.

Here is when she screams:
every time I walk anywhere she can see me
every time she sees anyone walk anywhere that she can see them
every time she hears me talk

It's not a constant scream, it is like a bark. A loud deafening bark. Similar to this but instead of short barks its 1 loud vibrating bark that last a little longer http://www.cagmom.com/wavs/budekkiescream.wav

And she only does it once, but she does it once every time any of those situations happen. So if I am trying to move a few objects between rooms it will be when I walk in, out, then in again, then out again, then in, then out, then in, then...

I'll cover her with a sheet sometimes and that helps, but if she thinks she hears me walk by, she does it.

Then she will also do it in like 2 minute intervals when she wants me to get her out. Scream, wait wait wait, scream, wait wait wait, scream, wait wait wait, until I finally have a chance to get to her or she gives up.

She has always done it for attention ever since I got her, but it wasn't a regular thing. Used to she would tell me that she wanted to get out, to step up, gimme sugar, etc... she's replaced all that with just screaming. Used to she would say "wancha mama" "comon mama" "stepup on mamama" as her cues that she wanted to get out or be cuddled, etc...

BTW I've had her 4 years, she is 10yo now, the screaming being an issue just after the wreck, getting worse over time, despite me trying to address it.

 

[wenz2712]

I'm sorry to hear of your situation, but This is why I preach to people who want a bird. "NEVER, NEVER,NEVER get a bird based on your current situation. People need to look down the road at what curve balls life can and will throw at them and decide once it does, will they be able to coop with all the changes and still be able to care for their birds.

Your situation should be on a billboard for rescue centers, pet shops and such for reasons why people need to slow down and think and rethink their current and future situations before buying or adopting a bird that can live for 50 plus years.

It may come down to you having to rehome Rosie. The sad thing is, she may not take to anyone else and will continue to be bounced from home to home unless she stays in a rescue center.

These things happened to her after she already had her Birds!! No-one could possibly foresee all that heartache happening to anyone all in one go . None of us know whats round the corner

I just hope that everything works out for her soon

 

[c3honey84]

Rrrma,

Please consider training her before you decide to rehome her. Operant conditioning training can be started with a bird at ANY age. It can also be very simple, but it will take time for it to work. Rosy is going to have to understand that things change. However, this change with you not being able to handle her as often, is not nearly as bad of a change as her going to another home. Here is what you should try. When she screams ignore her completely. Don't even walk by her or look at her. When she stops for more than a minute, walk by her, talk to her, give her a treat. If she starts to scream while you are near her, immediately walk away. Don't go back until she has stopped screaming for at least a minute. If she has been quiet for awhile, handle her if you can. She has to understand that now, she will get attention when she is not screaming, but it may not be you holding her. Also, does she have a favorite treat? If so, when she has been good, try buying some bird toys that you can put this favorite treat in. Something that will keep her busy for awhile. She needs to learn to play on her own. I find that my eclectus plays with the toys that are right in front of her favorite perch. I literally put them in her way. Sometimes that what you have to do. Regarding the screaming, don't be surprised if this takes a few weeks to work, but it will eventually work. You just have to keep to the training and don't deviate when you feel bad for her. It will only revert her back to her screaming. Only give her attention when she is quiet and she will get the idea. Another option, is to only give her attention when she makes a quieter noise. Like a word or a whistle. Good luck

 

[Rrrma]

Rrrma,

Please consider training her before you decide to rehome her. Operant conditioning training can be started with a bird at ANY age. It can also be very simple, but it will take time for it to work. Rosy is going to have to understand that things change. However, this change with you not being able to handle her as often, is not nearly as bad of a change as her going to another home. Here is what you should try. When she screams ignore her completely. Don't even walk by her or look at her. When she stops for more than a minute, walk by her, talk to her, give her a treat. If she starts to scream while you are near her, immediately walk away. Don't go back until she has stopped screaming for at least a minute. If she has been quiet for awhile, handle her if you can. She has to understand that now, she will get attention when she is not screaming, but it may not be you holding her. Also, does she have a favorite treat? If so, when she has been good, try buying some bird toys that you can put this favorite treat in. Something that will keep her busy for awhile. She needs to learn to play on her own. I find that my eclectus plays with the toys that are right in front of her favorite perch. I literally put them in her way. Sometimes that what you have to do. Regarding the screaming, don't be surprised if this takes a few weeks to work, but it will eventually work. You just have to keep to the training and don't deviate when you feel bad for her. It will only revert her back to her screaming. Only give her attention when she is quiet and she will get the idea. Another option, is to only give her attention when she makes a quieter noise. Like a word or a whistle. Good luck

Thank you, this is why I posted the thread. I do NOT want to rehome her. It would be an absolute last resort, but everything I have been trying has not worked and so I need new ideas.

It isn't like I haven't been trying, I have... and it isn't like I am ready to give up, or she'd be listed FS somewhere already...

To address what you have suggested. I will try the rewarding for being quiet again. She sadly doesn't have a favorite treat, I am her treat, but I can do head scratches. And I always try to make sure I pet her a bit any time I can.

And I have her toys literally in her way as well. I hang them right over the main walking perch so she has to duck around them. I leave the little perches that attach to the side of the cage free of toys, I put chewing things on the bars, like weave that chewing rope through the bars, etc...

I actually just bought a BUNCH of new toys for them, I'm going to go hang them right now while I'm thinking about it.

 

[roxynoodle]

You definitely got hit with the stress stick. I'm so sorry to hear about all of this.

I guess another thought, is there a family member or friend or bird person that could take Rosie temporarily? And then when things settle down and baby gets older, you could have her back?

I did have to sell a couple of my horses while going through my divorce after my hubby spent every cent I ever made, and every cent I didn't via my credit cards. I was pretty angry that he used me like that, but it was better for me, and the horses that they went to new homes.

 

[Remy]

I'm so sorry for your situation! That must be so hard for you. There is no way you could have foreseen all of that. I hope you are able to work things out with Rosie.

 

[Pedro]

Life doesn't seem fair sometimes but hang in there it will get better.

With Rosie, she isn't screaming at all, that is her contact call although a bit out of hand. I am afraid that over the years she has learned to get what she wants by using this call. In other words it's been a learned behavior for so long & is going to be very hard to extinguish. She has probably been rewarded for screaming in some way.

Check out these 2 links. Ask for some professional help.

https://companionparrotonline.com/screaming_reasons.html

Good Bird Inc Parrot Training Talk: Stop your Parrot from Screaming for Attention

You may even contact Barbara for some help.

 

[luvmytooo]

I'm very sorry for your hardships , I hope things will get better for you soon.
I agree not buying or adopting a bird on a whim , but thinking that the worst could possibly happen later in life wouldnt stop me from adopting or having a bird.

 

[roxynoodle]

I have to agree that no one can foresee things like this in their future. A lot of things happen in a person's life that can't be foreseen. If we could foresee a divorce, we wouldn't get married. And no one can foresee an accident, a premature baby or an illness. I wish you the very best and hope things get easier for you soon. And if I were in your area, I would be willing to take Rosie for awhile while you dealt with the baby and other stresses.