Seeking Advice on Building Trust with My African Grey Parrot: Overcoming My Fear of Hand Biting

[ShoaibKhatri]

This is going to be a long one, so please bear with this overly excited person who only wants the best for his precious baby.

It's been 11 days since I got my African grey parrot, and he has bonded so well with me. I love him so much, and it seems like he trusts me more than anyone else in our home.

He's one year old and doesn't talk yet, but I'm not worried about that. I love him for who he is, and since I got him, I can't think of anything else.

I never realized how much you can fall in love with them.

Whenever I go near him, he makes a very sweet sound to greet me, and I respond to him in kind. I talk to him a lot, and last evening, he surprised me. As I was putting him to sleep and covering his cage, I was talking to him and saying "Goodnight" repeatedly. At first, he mumbled a bit, and then he clearly said "Goodnight" in a somewhat robotic way (it wasn't loud). It made me so happy.

As I mentioned earlier, I'm not really eager for him to talk. I'd rather let things flow at his own pace and make him as comfortable as I can.

Yesterday, I took him to the vet for a wellness check, and thankfully, my precious baby is healthy with nothing to worry about, according to the vet.

I let him out of the cage daily for an hour as soon as I get back from work. He likes me so much that he follows me around the lounge, and it feels like he wants me to hold him. But here's my biggest concern.

I'm hesitant to let him step up on my hand because I'm worried he might bite me, and my sudden reaction could scare him. This is the last thing I want to happen.

He lets me massage his head both in and out of the cage. Whenever I sit by his cage, he'll quickly come to my side, tilt his head, and enjoy his head massage.

Can anyone guide me on how to approach this whole "step up" thing and work on my fear of him biting me? (I'm not worried about the pain, but rather about making him afraid of my sudden reaction.) I do not want my baby to be afraid of me.

Thank you all for your patience in reading to the end. I'd really appreciate any tips.

Much thanks.

 

[kme3388]

Hi there, and welcome

I’d recommend something like clicker training to start with your parrot. Here’s a video of what I’m talking about

.

Clicker training helps build a relationship (trust). I also have a large parrot. Those beaks can be intimidating. Just take your time & move at your own pace.

 

[texsize]

First get a pair of scissors.
Then have someone use them forcefully on your hands/fingers.
This will desensitize yourself to begin bitten by your grey.
You won’t react to bad to the real thing.

Just joking, that’s what a bite from our African Grey feels like.
Compared to my Amazons vise grip bite.

In the end you probably will be bitten.
I can’t recall ever being bitten when she was on me so my reaction was only entertainment for her.
She like to pretend she is going to let me scratch her head and snaps up ant try’s to bite me.

It’s early days and you will have a marvelous time learning about each other.

Love to see pictures.

 

[wrench13]

Put your fears aside. You WILL get bitten at some point, thats almost a mathmatical certainty if you own parrots. The good news is that most parrot bites are nothing special, most being a warning nip. And even a real bite is like cutting a finger when cooking. Its gonna bleed but the real cut is pretty small. I would suggest you keep it to hand sitting for awhile, until you both have more trust with each other.

But please take your time with your new baby, after all he's going to be around for 50-60 years, no need to rush things. Greys especially like to learn about new stuff rather slowly.

 

[Botsari]

Well, I can solve one of your problems - African Greys, unlike some other birds - do not start talking, at all, until they are 12-14 months old. So any day now the faucet may open. My youngster arived at my house about 3 1/2 months old, and prompty said "Hi", and "Hello" that he picked up from the breeder. I thought he might be a child prodigy, but of course he didn't say anything more until about 11-12 months old. It something in their unique neural circuitry that has do develop, in the category of "good things come to those that wait", and sometimes "be careful what you wish for".

As for the fear of biting you just have to get over it. With such a young bird who is bonding and highly impressionable simply withdrawing your attention - for example put him back in the cage EVERY time it happens and your young bird will learn VERY quickly not to do it. Sometimes it is an accident - such as the bird flies to your shoulder behind your back, you jump when he lands, and the bird instinctually grabs onto whatever is available, hard, to avoid loosing balance. A very young bird if treated gently may never bite. Don't let your fear of being bitten cause you to withdraw too much. Head scratches are amongst the best thing life has to offer - for both the receiver AND the giver.

 

[gutterfalcon]

This is going to be a long one, so please bear with this overly excited person who only wants the best for his precious baby.

It's been 11 days since I got my African grey parrot, and he has bonded so well with me. I love him so much, and it seems like he trusts me more than anyone else in our home.

He's one year old and doesn't talk yet, but I'm not worried about that. I love him for who he is, and since I got him, I can't think of anything else.

I never realized how much you can fall in love with them.

Whenever I go near him, he makes a very sweet sound to greet me, and I respond to him in kind. I talk to him a lot, and last evening, he surprised me. As I was putting him to sleep and covering his cage, I was talking to him and saying "Goodnight" repeatedly. At first, he mumbled a bit, and then he clearly said "Goodnight" in a somewhat robotic way (it wasn't loud). It made me so happy.

As I mentioned earlier, I'm not really eager for him to talk. I'd rather let things flow at his own pace and make him as comfortable as I can.

Yesterday, I took him to the vet for a wellness check, and thankfully, my precious baby is healthy with nothing to worry about, according to the vet.

I let him out of the cage daily for an hour as soon as I get back from work. He likes me so much that he follows me around the lounge, and it feels like he wants me to hold him. But here's my biggest concern.

I'm hesitant to let him step up on my hand because I'm worried he might bite me, and my sudden reaction could scare him. This is the last thing I want to happen.

He lets me massage his head both in and out of the cage. Whenever I sit by his cage, he'll quickly come to my side, tilt his head, and enjoy his head massage.

Can anyone guide me on how to approach this whole "step up" thing and work on my fear of him biting me? (I'm not worried about the pain, but rather about making him afraid of my sudden reaction.) I do not want my baby to be afraid of me.

Thank you all for your patience in reading to the end. I'd really appreciate any tips.

Much thanks.

They Do use their Beaks as Hands . I had a Girl friend who brought home a Double Yellow Head , and He Bit Her and learned she was Afraid of him , so he would Fly and attack her , I clipped his wings and he would run across the floor and attack her . He Bit Me and I didn't do anything and He thought OH that doesn't work on Him , so then he was just Nice to me . But that girl friend was afraid of him and took him Back to a store , then I got a Baby Eclectus - sold to me Too Young , I weaned him so he thought I was like his mother and he grew up Totally Tame and Perfect . Didn't start talking till after a year old , To step up just put your hand in front of his belly / chest and say Up . I have before been ripped open by a Scarlet , a Grey , and a different double yellow Head . Give him treats with your hand , be Nice , Be Patient .

 

[wrench13]

I just want to caution on advice from Botsari - when exercising the "Shunning" technique, do not put him back in his cage - that only teaches the parrot to bite when he wants to go back to his cage!! FOr shunning to work, the action must be IMMEDIATE and the place has to be a neutral one, like a handy chair back. Here is a bit more on shunning that I wrote awhile ago:

Biting and Shunning

Biting, whether intentional or not, just over preening your skin or actually taking chunks of meat out - all are PAINFULL! In the wild that sort of behavior is not tolerated by the flock. They ostracize flock members who continue to act like that. We call it 'Shunning'. This WILL work, but needs to be done correctly to get the message across and it needs to be done IMMEDIATELY so the parrot can associate the bite with the shunning action. And it needs to happen every time and with anyone involved with the parrot.

When the bite or over preening occurs:

• Say in a forceful but not shouting voice "No Bite" or other endearments.
• Immediately place the parrot on a nearby, handy chairback. NOT the cage (that would only teach the parrot to bite when he wants to go back to his cage).
• Turn your back to him and ignore him for 1 minute. No peeking, no talking about or too him, NADA. NO eye contact. No less time or the message is lost, no more or the bird will not associate the action with the bite.
• After a minute you can try to re-establish contact.

Rinse, repeat as needed. Most parrots get the message after a few times, some may need more. Also very important - make sure the bite is not your fault. Annoying your parrot, asking him to step up when he is otherwise preoccupied with eating or playing, bothering him during known moody times like mating season, or ignoring the warnings and body language of your parrot - these are bites that you deserve! Learn, and be a better parront !!

 

[Botsari]

I just want to caution on advice from Botsari - when exercising the "Shunning" technique, do not put him back in his cage - that only teaches the parrot to bite when he wants to go back to his cage!! FOr shunning to work, the action must be IMMEDIATE and the place has to be a neutral one, like a handy chair back. Here is a bit more on shunning that I wrote awhile ago:

Biting and Shunning

Biting, whether intentional or not, just over preening your skin or actually taking chunks of meat out - all are PAINFULL! In the wild that sort of behavior is not tolerated by the flock. They ostracize flock members who continue to act like that. We call it 'Shunning'. This WILL work, but needs to be done correctly to get the message across and it needs to be done IMMEDIATELY so the parrot can associate the bite with the shunning action. And it needs to happen every time and with anyone involved with the parrot.

When the bite or over preening occurs:

• Say in a forceful but not shouting voice "No Bite" or other endearments.
• Immediately place the parrot on a nearby, handy chairback. NOT the cage (that would only teach the parrot to bite when he wants to go back to his cage).
• Turn your back to him and ignore him for 1 minute. No peeking, no talking about or too him, NADA. NO eye contact. No less time or the message is lost, no more or the bird will not associate the action with the bite.
• After a minute you can try to re-establish contact.

Rinse, repeat as needed. Most parrots get the message after a few times, some may need more. Also very important - make sure the bite is not your fault. Annoying your parrot, asking him to step up when he is otherwise preoccupied with eating or playing, bothering him during known moody times like mating season, or ignoring the warnings and body language of your parrot - these are bites that you deserve! Learn, and be a better parront !!

I'll admit I have heard this before, and the logic is sound, but I still think that this is a bit overwrought. By the same logic by doing it the other way you are training your bird to bite so it will get put on the back of a chair and left alone for a while. All of my birds can instantly fly to their cage, but I know it is usually the place they least desire to be when I am nearby. So roudypants, accidental bites that are just too much - for me these have to draw blood (very rare) - they immediatly go in the (closed) cage for a short time and I just walk away with no vocalizing or attention for 5 minutes. If you have a very reticent, frightened bird that only thinks it is safe in its cage, then yes, you dont want to reward for bites by putting him back there. The take home message is make sure your bird doesn't regard your reaction, whatever it is, as a desirable thing - so think about the the bird and the context.

 

[ShoaibKhatri]

Dear All,

I apologize for my late reply. I've been caught up with various tasks and nearly forgot about this wonderful forum.

Today, I revisited the thread and wanted to express my gratitude for your time and support.

I truly appreciate all the input and advice you've provided.

As for my African grey parrot, I've named him "Smokey." As time goes on, my affection for him only grows stronger.

He has recently started saying his name, along with "Good morning," "Night night," and, of course, "Peek-a-boo."

It seems Smokey has a special bond with me. Whenever I approach, he enthusiastically shakes his little head up and down, often making clicking sounds that we enjoy together.

Overall, it's been a delightful experience with Smokey. He began stepping up onto my hand just last week, and although he occasionally nips my wife, he has never bitten me (knock on wood).

Once again, thank you all so much for your advice.

Sending lots of love and peace. ❤

 

[ScottinSoCal]

Overall, it's been a delightful experience with Smokey. He began stepping up onto my hand just last week, and although he occasionally nips my wife, he has never bitten me (knock on wood).

Scooter let me pick her up during my visits to the rescue, but reverted when I brought her home, and was nervous about hands again. She also flat refused to climb onto a stick, which made things awkward. The first few days, I'd open the cage door and let her climb out herself. I laid my hand on the cage and let her explore it at her own pace. Once she was familiar with it again, she'd climb back up.
And something I didn't actively plan, but she learned - when she wouldn't step up I'd tell her she was being silly. That turned into her signal to step up. Now I hold my hand to her and tell her "Come on, silly" and she steps up, no fuss.