Raising children and parrots?

[itzjbean]

My husband and I are getting close to the point in our lives where we are ready for children. We're both 28, both have stable incomes, and we've traveled and accomplished a lot. Soon (within the next year or two), we'll be in the market for our first home. That being said, I wonder if I'll have to put my dreams of owning a macaw/cockatoo on the self for several years while we raise our human babies. I know it's not impossible to raise parrots and babies at the same time, but obviously not the ideal situation. I feel as though there is just so much that can go wrong. I guess I'm just terrified that having both babies and large birds will stress me out, I may not have enough time for one or the other or I may get overwhelmed with caring for them, or heaven forbid, the parrot or baby find their wway to each other and someone gets hurt.

So I'm asking for advice from those out there who have raised children and parrots successfully. Or perhaps you chose having parrots over having children? Do you have any regrets? If you have had children with your birds, was it or has it been extremely difficult? Do you have any tips? Anything you wish you would've known or regret? How do you balance the time with your beloved birds with your kids? Would it be easier to wait 5-10 years until my kids are at least old enough to understand the dangers of large birds, or simply wait until the kids are nearly grown (14-18) to get my dream bird? This is assuming I would be a stay-at home mother, as I intend to be. I have an eye condition that makes it hard to see fine print (Stargardt's) and also perform most jobs. I wouldn't want to take on raising kids and birds if I wasn't able to stay home most of the day.

I watch Gotcha the Cocaktoo on Youtube, and that has reassured me some. Gotcha is a rescue Moluccan cockatoo, and his owner has a baby that just turned 1 year old and she seems to do an amazing job at spending time with both and separating them with gates.

Thank you in advance for reading this long post and I'd love to hear your experience with this!!

 

[Kentuckienne]

Have seen many cases where people gave up their pets when they had kids. Something about stress, time, and having kids changed how they felt about the pets - they decided that what they thought was love paled in comparison to how they felt about the child. So perhaps you might decide to wait until you have established a connection with a baby before making a decision about a bird? You could always take in a foster bird beforehand so you could have some of the joy of parrot living without the long term commitment...

 

[RavensGryf]

Re: Raising children and parrots?r

That would be a lot on your plate Jackie, if you ask me! But of course only you really can accurately gauge what and how much you can handle with your schedule, lifestyle, and personality.

I can't tell you what it's like to raise children and a baby, but I know of the time and dedication involved. Then your other animals, and a Doberman which I know (typically anyway) is not a breed that is low maintenance to raise and keep. You mention your income, so I imagine you work too? Although maybe will not once you have a young child? If you can handle it and don't mind being super busy all of the time, then you might be able to manage it, though it really doesn't sound ideal to be honest. Either species you're longing for, I think will make it feel like you have twins, not just one baby. I could not do it.

So I'm asking for advice from those out there who have raised children and parents successfully.

Well I've never had children, but with a mother who has swiftly developed Alzheimer's and dementia (and currently still lives alone - with me traveling there almost daily), I can say that I'm glad I don't have such a big responsibility as one of the larger needier birds, or even a dog right now (which are high maintenance companion animals). I'm already spread so thin and stressed out. My birds are having to get used to me not being home as much. My dad is finally situated in a safe environment, then after all this is under control with my mom, I need to try and find a job and go back to work, and try to remember not to neglect the tons of stuff here at my house. Who says middle age gets is easier?! Not for everyone!

I personallydon't ever want one of the more demanding and needier bird species. Robin is my cuddly one and my little 22 year old soulmate, but he is accepting and independent as well.

Good luck Jackie. I think you'll end up making the right decision for yourself and your family, whatever that is .

EDIT: I just re-read and saw that you said you'd be a stay at home mom. Still, my opinion is the same

 

[Surfincr]

So i can give you what my wife and i were/are going through now. we had our grey (Zig) before my son was born but we wound up taking in our macaw(Elvis) about 3 months into my wife's pregnancy. Elvis while a sweet bird needed a lot of work to build trust so i was happy that we got her before my son was born. it also turned out to be a good thing since while developing he got use to the macaw screams and zigs noises. once born he had no problems sleeping through (unless the birds got the dogs worked up). i will admit after my son was born i havent been able to spend as much time with them but so far nothing has changed with the birds happiness. we have the room gated so when its bird time everyone's out of the room except me and the birds (wife is still scared of getting bitten). I did put plexiglass around the bottom of the macaw cage and the grey cage is on a stand off the floor to avoid fingers going in. Elvis has actually let my son pat her and my son loves looking at them.

So while you wont have as much me time with children and birds its definitely doable. i will say if i was a single father trying to raise a child and birds i'd hire a nanny.

 

[Laylatoo]

As a mom of four, I'd say if possible hold off. Babies are hard. They take over your life and you'll want to really cherish that time when they are little because soon enough you'll have teenagers and wonder why their baby years seemed to fly by. I couldn't imagine being able to be a good mom to a young baby and a good bird mom to a larger bird at the same time. I had my first 3 kids 2 year apart starting at age 22. It was a hectic and crazy time in my life. Now that my youngest is 7 I am enjoying being a mom to older kids and having the time to focus on my animals more. I feel like I am able to have a great balance between it all. Having said that, if my husband was an animal lover like myself and he was able and willing to take on the raising of a bigger bird when we had little ones then maybe I'd say it would have been something easier but with me being the main caretaker of all things breathing in my world I would have lost my mind...lol.

 

[SilverSage]

Well my baby won't be arriving for a few more months but we looked into this extensively before bringing parrots into our lives because we knew we wanted human kids.

Almost all of my close friends with birds have kids as well. From what I can tell you just have to be on top of things like socialization, station training, self entertaining, and realize that sometimes your bird is going to wake up your kid. It's just going to happen and you have to accept that BEFORE you become a sleep deprived monster.

My friends who are doing this though would probably not suggest adding a large parrot and a tiny human too close together; best to adjust to them one at a time.

The biggest issue besides sleep and sanity seems to be big beaks with little fingers. Many of my friends have simply set up one of those kid corral things around the main bird area so that newly-mobile munchkins can't stick their fingers into birdie space.


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[BeatriceC]

I'd hold off until your kids are at least elementary school aged. I'm going to be the voice of doom here, but you're not guaranteed an uncomplicated pregnancy and healthy babies, and you're already past the age where complications start to rise dramatically (absolute risk is still pretty low, but relative risk starts to rise significantly after age 27 and dramatically after age 35). It would be unfair to everybody involved if you wound up with complications or a medically needy kid. I've lived that reality, and even without a large bird involved, it wasn't fun. My kids are teens now, so I can properly care for the birds in spite of the kids' disabilities. It would have been impossible when they were babies and small kids.

Editing to clarify: My opinion is only relevant to large birds. Small birds, while still requiring a lot of attention, are quite different and more manageable, in my opinion.