Please help: Cockatiel love triangle :(

plunderbunny

Member
Mar 22, 2022
18
39
Parrots
cockatiels - Ivy and Archie <3
Hi everyone,

I recently purchased two baby cockatiels, both hand reared, gender unknown but from their behaviour so far I think they may both be male. I decided to get two at the same time because I travel a couple times a year for work and wanted them to bond to each other so they have each other while I am away.

One (Archie) is a week older then the other (Ivy), and while they started off getting along well, and looked like they were starting to bond, Archie also started getting snappy with Ivy from time to time, which has led Ivy to decide to bond to me instead.

Archie is very jealous, and it looks like, while they still bicker from time to time, he is determined to bond with Ivy. Ivy is uninterested and just wants to hang with me. This has led to Archie refusing to allow me to handle him (the only time he sits on my hand is when millet is involved).

I am a first time bird mum and after doing a lot a research, thought I was doing the right thing by the birds by getting two together but have appeared to have ended up in a love triangle.

I'm just wondering if anyone had any advice about how to get us all to get along.
 
Yowza!! I am so sorry for the difficultie. Cockateil love, who knew it would be so difficult!!!
I wish I had advice for you, but I will leave that tot he experts
 
Hi everyone,

I recently purchased two baby cockatiels, both hand reared, gender unknown but from their behaviour so far I think they may both be male. I decided to get two at the same time because I travel a couple times a year for work and wanted them to bond to each other so they have each other while I am away.

One (Archie) is a week older then the other (Ivy), and while they started off getting along well, and looked like they were starting to bond, Archie also started getting snappy with Ivy from time to time, which has led Ivy to decide to bond to me instead.

Archie is very jealous, and it looks like, while they still bicker from time to time, he is determined to bond with Ivy. Ivy is uninterested and just wants to hang with me. This has led to Archie refusing to allow me to handle him (the only time he sits on my hand is when millet is involved).

I am a first time bird mum and after doing a lot a research, thought I was doing the right thing by the birds by getting two together but have appeared to have ended up in a love triangle.

I'm just wondering if anyone had any advice about how to get us all to get along.
Do they only fight when you're around? Maybe they just don't like each other.. I've only had one cockatiel and she(?) is my current bird.

Hopefully someone who owns more than one cockatiel will see this🙂
 
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Do they only fight when you're around? Maybe they just don't like each other.. I've only had one cockatiel and she(?) is my current bird.

Hopefully someone who owns more than one cockatiel will see this🙂
Thanks! I think he does get more snappy with her when I'm around, but he also gets upset and contact calls her when I take her out of the cage, which puts me in an awkward position because she wants to spend time with me but it stresses him out.
 
this is tricky....because when one sees you as a rival they can displace that to the other..trying to keep the other away from you.

If they are good together away from you, then that can be it.

Do they preen each other ever? If so they are good. Some squabbles normal.

But it can be they don't get along.....

Video?
 
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this is tricky....because when one sees you as a rival they can displace that to the other..trying to keep the other away from you.

If they are good together away from you, then that can be it.

Do they preen each other ever? If so they are good. Some squabbles normal.

But it can be they don't get along.....

Video?
were they from the same clutch? Together when you got them?
I definitely think I'm considered a rival by Archie but Ivy is just not interested in the slightest.

I'm not too worried about the squabbling, it's always only beak to beak and only for a second or so.
They are from the same clutch, when I first got them they would sit together and sleep together and now they don't. They don't preen each other either.

Would it help if I got anther 'tiel? I just found a 2 year old up for adoption nearby. Would that help break the awkward dynamic or possibly make things worse?
 
no I wouldn't add another st this point. You need to bind and smooth out your flock.

Space is often the biggest issue. How large is the cage? How much time do they spend out?

Creating stuff like this helps
 
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no I wouldn't add another st this point. You need to bind and smooth out your flock.

Space is often the biggest issue. How large is the cage? How much time do they spend out?
Their cage is similar to this one. Ivy spends hours a day out of the cage (basically whenever I'm home). Archie doesn't like coming out, I leave the door open when I'm home and he will sometimes jump out but will want to be put back in almost instantly. Their wings are clipped (not by me, I can't wait till their first molt), so he's got this stick that he jumps on and waits to be put back in so he doesn't have to be handled by me (he thought up the process himself, it's actually really cute).

Also, thank you so much for trying to sort this out with me!
 
Seems very nice and roomy.
Is there any resources guarding? Does one or the other Chase from food or preferred perch spot?

Bummed about wings as well.

You definitely need to increase Archie confidence. Spend even more time bonding and winning him over. Put lots if perches on the outside of the cage, attach treat and food bowls to the outside of cage turn into a huge jungle gym play area on the outside.
Read up on target training, as this might help. Smash a comfy chair up to Cage and spend hours hanging out but not 100% focused. Hopefully they will climb out on you.
Or roll the cage over to your couch and hang out..making it easy to come out abd explore ( after they chill from the fact you just rolled the cage over to the couch;) )
 
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There's no resources guarding, they've got lots of things going on in their cage so they're very good at just peacefully entertaining themselves separately. At night time Archie will position himself about half an hour before bed time so he's got his spot, and Ivy will just happily go elsewhere.

Thank you, I will definitely increase my efforts to win him over. They have their own room that I haven't done anything with yet because I thought there wasn't much use as they can't fly at the moment, but I'll definitely start doing it up for them and make it fun and enticing for him.

Thanks so much again, I feel now like I have a way forward, which was not the case when I woke up this morning!

Also, I just updated my profile picture. Archie is the yellow chicken <3, Ivy is the white chicken <3
 
oooh they are darlings!!!!
You are going to be fine! Just looking at this one picture they are going to be fine!

It takes time for everything to come together . Really months! 2 of my burds that now made a special bond took a couple of years!
 
They are adorable!

The enrichment thread has lots of ideas that will work for non-flighted birds, climbing, toys, foraging - I've been taking lots of mental notes for my bird :)
 
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They are adorable!

The enrichment thread has lots of ideas that will work for non-flighted birds, climbing, toys, foraging - I've been taking lots of mental notes for my bird :)
Thank you! I'll definitely have a look :)
 
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I just wanted to give an update, and please excuse my face in these photos, we've gained so much progress! We're able to hang out as a flock for hours with no issues, Archie is still unhappy around hands but he is getting more and more comfortable by the day. Thank you for your help!
 

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