Off Topic - Work Vent

[charmedbyekkie]

I'm really, really sad about work. Sad doesn't quite fit, but upset feels like too much action and depressed has just been abused as a term.

I'm terribly sad how my colleagues are treated. How the cards were stacked against them from the start. How the politics are played, not even clever political manoeuvring, just drama politicking. How the innocent get hurt.

I'm upset that some colleagues saw my apparent stoicism as strength, when all it was was me being stuck between a rock and a hard place. I'm upset that they saw that and thought they should persevere in a situation I would have told a friend to leave asap.

I've tried to protect everyone, even the ones who now try to backstab me. I've defended everyone to the boss, arguing why the boss shouldn't make life a living hell for them to push them to leave. I gave reasons why they shouldn't be judged so harshly.

And the things I've had to put up with - the blatant insults, the snarky comments, the sly little daggers, the constant tearing down of everything you are and everything you've done, the things my partner is appalled to hear about - I can bottle them away. I grew up poor - I know how to tank through the tough times, to hold out because you need the job stability and the money. But I wish others didn't feel the need to do the same just because they saw me as a role model. I'm no role model. I'm just a person, biding her time, playing it safe, keeping her cards close to her chest. Maybe sometime soon I'll show my hand and be free from this place.

But what upsets me the most is my colleagues never had a chance. Even though I tried to shelter them. Just because of their faith, they never stood a chance. That's what infuriates me. Such kind, well-meaning, generous souls. Such wonderful people.

And the manipulation that goes on. I can see it, tangibly. I'm uncomfortably comfortable with it - had enough experience in politicking with more finesse. But this base manipulation is too transparent for me. The boss using people - pushing people out when they're no longer valuable, then sickeningly sweet to reel them back in when (oh shoot) they are actually needed these next few weeks. And (oh shoot), too many people are leaving so it looks bad, so the boss better go sweet talk everyone back into place. But the moment you've insinuated you're looking elsewhere, you're on death row - and you better not forget it. My silence is the one thing keeping me alive in this place. Loose lips sink ships, after all.

How can anyone trust someone who threatens to fire/push out people, then turns on you with barbed words and rude comments, then sugar talks when you as manpower are needed? It's a joke, and I'm only laughing when my humour turns black.

I just wish they wouldn't fall for it. Who can protect them, if I'm not around? Who else will hide the fact that office food outings follow religious dietary restrictions? Who else will hide the fact that for a few minutes at a time, they're missing from their desks for prayers in a room I made sure was quiet and out of the way for them? I worry.

I'm hoping to hear good news in a month's time, and I'm just holding onto that. But I'm also proud of myself in some moments. Maybe my father was right - that I am a strong person, able to bide my time until the better opportunity is secured. But I sure do look forward to my escape. I just hope my colleagues escape too.

 

[SailBoat]

May your Work Vent bring you comfort...

An all to common Work Vent that has been around far far too long! It is a wonderful thing that individuals with a heart, by fate, find themselves in these places. When you leave and with hope, soon. Leave those with a heart, a smile and kind words and the others with silence.
One of my business beliefs: I came here a good person, I left a good person. Between those two points, I continued to build upon my Resume, which assured my leaving.
I always targeted Market Leaders, which built /sold the very best. It will never assure a perfect work place, but sure supports the likelihood.

 

[ParrotGenie]

It hard to give any advise on this topic as we don't know your full situation, or options available to you. All I can say is been in your spot for close to 6 years and best thing I could have done was find a way out as could not take anymore and didn't look back. Now wishing I made the jump sooner. Don't let people like this cut you down as that what they do to make themselves feel better as your likely dealing with a psychopath. Learn to play the game enough till you find a way out and then make your move. No job worth it and in the end you be better off making the jump.

 

[ChristaNL]

Your best is all you can do .. and whatever happens: you did it.

I am with you in that I despise the so called 'office politics' and your boss already showed his unsavoury colours when he forced you out of the house and away from a sick birdie for his benefits alone.

So vent all you want if it helps you to stay strong (and smart) out there.
We hear you!

 

[charmedbyekkie]

Yeah, it's really starting to affect me. I used to be one of the highest performers, churning out stuff double the speed of others, juggling the work of three people, showing up early to contribute to projects, sacrifice my salary to help the company through tough times. And now, it's a struggle to wake up even. If we were in a financial position (and I was in a legal position) to quit, I would have long ago. I've taken sick leave because some days I can't bear the mental strain of the toxicity in the work place; some mornings I get mild anxiety attacks about facing the work place. Some of my colleagues try to climb the ladder of favour with the boss by putting others down, and they've successfully gotten a few people to quit by turning the boss against them. I can't take it anymore. I went from being the person who organised office lunch outings and paying interns' salaries out of pocket when the company couldn't to the person who is being forgotten during office lunches. I know I'm being ostracised. And to think I used to love going to work and contributing and building up the company - I'd work from 7am to 10pm when we needed to rush projects out, sometimes even 3am.

Now, I'm having a hard time focusing at work even. I know I'm not getting enough sleep - I start slipping into depression if I don't consistently get 8 hours of sleep - and I've only been sleeping 3-6 hours a night since November. And I sleep so late because I'm just struggling to destress and collect myself after every horrible work day. I'm working at half my normal pace, and my boss is expecting me to be the star performer I once was.

I'm just trying to keep my sense of self-worth after hearing day-in and day-out how I'm failing, how I shouldn't talk because I don't know what I'm talking about (despite him asking for my opinion), how I'm not listening. Every day my professional judgement calls backed by research and documentation are called into question and interrogated before ultimately going with the willy-nilly of the boss. Every day someone tells me to do something and I follow it, only for the person to turn around and say, "But I didn't say that," then letting me take the fall for it - including the boss. I've become a person who only communicates over text now, who just shuts up and doesn't stand up for anything anymore, who just accepts it when the boss snaps fingers in her face.

I can't take it. And it's affecting Cairo as well. We used to do his favourite training sessions every day. Now, maybe only once or twice a week. And I'm just dragging myself out of bed because with my partner's unstable salary and a new place that allows Cairo, I'm the sole breadwinner. And I can't quit without a backup job signed or else I'll be kicked out of the country.

Maybe I should be tougher. I grew up seeing my partners take all sorts of soul crushing jobs to get the family through. But it's just too much mental strain right now. And I can't tell anyone about this in person because this country is too small - the word would get around so easily. I know the boss would want to push me out, but he can't afford to right now. Plus, I know too much.

Ugh, luckily tomorrow is Friday. Just one more day til the weekend.

 

[ChristaNL]

Oh dearest ...


I was reading an article about bosses who induce (guarantee) burnout in others, and I do not have to quote it here because you more or less summarized it all already.



It is *so* not your fault -- but he almost seems to be forcing you take the blame for everything that goes wrong overthere.



All I can say is : plan your "escape from Alcatraz" with care.
Ask your partner to help you to make sure your CV is up to date and there are ways to get out of this situation.
"Run away and save yourself" is really all you can do at this point.
You are a wonderfull 'larger than life' employee and you deserve to be treated far far better than this!
Your boss is not going to do that (obviously) so you need to take care of you.

 

[ParrotGenie]

Yeah, it's really starting to affect me. I used to be one of the highest performers, churning out stuff double the speed of others, juggling the work of three people, showing up early to contribute to projects, sacrifice my salary to help the company through tough times. And now, it's a struggle to wake up even. If we were in a financial position (and I was in a legal position) to quit, I would have long ago. I've taken sick leave because some days I can't bear the mental strain of the toxicity in the work place; some mornings I get mild anxiety attacks about facing the work place. Some of my colleagues try to climb the ladder of favour with the boss by putting others down, and they've successfully gotten a few people to quit by turning the boss against them. I can't take it anymore. I went from being the person who organised office lunch outings and paying interns' salaries out of pocket when the company couldn't to the person who is being forgotten during office lunches. I know I'm being ostracised. And to think I used to love going to work and contributing and building up the company - I'd work from 7am to 10pm when we needed to rush projects out, sometimes even 3am.

Now, I'm having a hard time focusing at work even. I know I'm not getting enough sleep - I start slipping into depression if I don't consistently get 8 hours of sleep - and I've only been sleeping 3-6 hours a night since November. And I sleep so late because I'm just struggling to destress and collect myself after every horrible work day. I'm working at half my normal pace, and my boss is expecting me to be the star performer I once was.

I'm just trying to keep my sense of self-worth after hearing day-in and day-out how I'm failing, how I shouldn't talk because I don't know what I'm talking about (despite him asking for my opinion), how I'm not listening. Every day my professional judgement calls backed by research and documentation are called into question and interrogated before ultimately going with the willy-nilly of the boss. Every day someone tells me to do something and I follow it, only for the person to turn around and say, "But I didn't say that," then letting me take the fall for it - including the boss. I've become a person who only communicates over text now, who just shuts up and doesn't stand up for anything anymore, who just accepts it when the boss snaps fingers in her face.

I can't take it. And it's affecting Cairo as well. We used to do his favourite training sessions every day. Now, maybe only once or twice a week. And I'm just dragging myself out of bed because with my partner's unstable salary and a new place that allows Cairo, I'm the sole breadwinner. And I can't quit without a backup job signed or else I'll be kicked out of the country.

Maybe I should be tougher. I grew up seeing my partners take all sorts of soul crushing jobs to get the family through. But it's just too much mental strain right now. And I can't tell anyone about this in person because this country is too small - the word would get around so easily. I know the boss would want to push me out, but he can't afford to right now. Plus, I know too much.

Ugh, luckily tomorrow is Friday. Just one more day til the weekend.

It call you being burned out.The best thing you can do is to try to first to communicate with your boss, to see if you can meet in the middle if you really want to keep the job, or to quit soon start looking for other work, if you already tried that then just quit ASAP!! You will surprise yourself and how fast you fix the temporary bad situation and when you have free time you likely find other work quick, or may even work for yourself and do something you enjoy more?

I Know this as I was in your spot years ago and had no other income at the time to rely on. So stuck around as at the time jobs were not easy to come by and barely wanted to get up in the morning and wanted to deal with people after work. I hated being at that place as boss was screw up and had no morals, it was just about him. My friend that known for taking risks and getting into trouble at times and I have myself as been down that path. He kept telling me sure have quit a long time ago. One day I did and best thing I did was when I finally decide enough is enough and walk out. I wish I now this this years ago?

I did struggle for a short while, but did do side jobs to get by for time being and started getting more work slowly in the few months and then started getting into other things I enjoyed more doing restorations and ETC and that when I started making way more money then I was working a 9 to 5 and made a little over 1m in a couple of years. I learned that if you focus your mind to something and especially something you enjoy, you can do what you would have believed was impossible. I learn to accomplish my dreams not someone else's. It took me over 8 years to learn this. Don't let others drag you down and screw up your core values.

As far as the company I worked for they when under about 8 months later

 

[charmedbyekkie]

I really, really wish I could follow your recommendation. I

If I communicate to my boss that I'm getting burned out, he'll just say, "What have you been doing to get burned out?" Then make work life even worse for me, putting me down to everyone. It's what he's done to others before. I've seen it happen so many times.

And if I quit with no new job in line, I'm immediately kicked out of the country. It's incredibly demoralizing also because fewer jobs here are open to foreigners. Xenophobia is on the rise worldwide.

 

[ParrotGenie]

I really, really wish I could follow your recommendation. I

If I communicate to my boss that I'm getting burned out, he'll just say, "What have you been doing to get burned out?" Then make work life even worse for me, putting me down to everyone. It's what he's done to others before. I've seen it happen so many times.

And if I quit with no new job in line, I'm immediately kicked out of the country. It's incredibly demoralizing also because fewer jobs here are open to foreigners. Xenophobia is on the rise worldwide.

He definitely taking advantage. It is common practice for people to use foreigners unfortunately. You have to look at your skills and what you enjoy and see how you can self market yourself and maybe forget trying to work for someone? Just brand yourself some way. It just depends on what you are capable of doing and full situation?

I not sure what you are skilled at, or enjoy doing to give advise on this as it is case by case? I did pictures and videos of restoration work, plus help others figure out issues they could not figure out and word got around and started also selling online. Some do videos on YouTube and Facebook for self promotion. You have to figure out what your niche is and where you fit?

You also have to figure out a reasonable plan then set a goal and make your move. As ChristaNL put it? "Plan your escape" You may not able to quit yet, eventually you will have to make the move? It will be hard no doubt at first and may even change goal mid process, but once you find your niche, things have a way to fall in place. Just don't give up and do your best Something will stick.

 

[charmedbyekkie]

I did go for a second round recently and was given tentative greenlight, depending on how they were restructuring the company. I'm supposed to hear back from them by the beginning of next month whether or not they'll hire for the role.

I've got my resume out and circling with recruiter friends. I've been applying to jobs, often when I have a bit of a mental breakdown and take sick leave. In this country, I do have to have an employer to enable me to legally stay here - freelancing as a foreigner is illegal, I'm not supposed to have any side jobs. So I'm just biding my time until either I get an offer at the beginning of next month or another company offers.

So stressful though because I know the boss never gives a good recommendation. Ever. I've seen a lot of people go. Not one received a positive recommendation. And he blatantly tells people that he didn't give so-and-so a good recommendation because [citing all the negative things he can attribute to the person]. It's scary. People try to leave on a positive note like you're supposed to when you leave a job. But it's just a facade from him.

It makes me want to move back. But I've (figuratively) built a home in this country.

 

[ParrotGenie]

I did go for a second round recently and was given tentative greenlight, depending on how they were restructuring the company. I'm supposed to hear back from them by the beginning of next month whether or not they'll hire for the role.

I've got my resume out and circling with recruiter friends. I've been applying to jobs, often when I have a bit of a mental breakdown and take sick leave. In this country, I do have to have an employer to enable me to legally stay here - freelancing as a foreigner is illegal, I'm not supposed to have any side jobs. So I'm just biding my time until either I get an offer at the beginning of next month or another company offers.

So stressful though because I know the boss never gives a good recommendation. Ever. I've seen a lot of people go. Not one received a positive recommendation. And he blatantly tells people that he didn't give so-and-so a good recommendation because [citing all the negative things he can attribute to the person]. It's scary. People try to leave on a positive note like you're supposed to when you leave a job. But it's just a facade from him.

It makes me want to move back. But I've (figuratively) built a home in this country.

They tell you not to take side jobs and ETC and put road blocks. You sometimes have to get around the rules to get ahead. Just be careful who you tell and ETC. I can tell you a few friends including a doctor that over stayed, broke the rules and did side jobs and ETC made a name for themselves and eventually once stable fixed legal issues and did it correctly applied and now a citizen. You have to think outside the box, don't put road blocks before getting started. As you stated racism and xenophobia were on the rise worldwide. You have to work around the limitations so be it.

The person you likely work for likely did way worst and likely didn't follow the rules. Just be smart, plan and get ahead and don't take everything for word for word. Learn to use the system to your advantage and play the game.

 

[ChristaNL]

If your boss never gives anyone a good recommendation.... other people in the field will know!
So no way they will hold it against you.
(One of the advantages: in the small pond you are looking in for another job others will have heard about him a long, long time ago - so they know his validation of people and his opnions are worthless.)


I understand you cannot 'show weakness' and that is terrible.
No-one should be treated like that, but yes...exploiting people without options is as old as the world and will probably last as long as well


So just make sure you have / get some options.
I am glad you still have a lot of fight in you
Burned out does not mean you are worthless or spend or even "no good anymore", it simply means they have not been taking good care of you at work and you need to replenish your energy.
.

 

[ParrotGenie]

If you boss never gives anyone a good recommendation.... other people in the field will know!
So no way they will hold it against you.
(One of the advantages: in the small pond you are looking in for another job others will have heard about him a long, long time ago - so they know his validation of people and his opnions are worthless.)


I understand you cannot 'show weakness' and that is terrible.
No-one should be treated like that, but yes...exploiting people without options is as old as the world and will probably last as long as well


So just make sure you have / get some options.
I am glad you still have a lot of fight in you
Burned out does not mean you are worthless of spend or even "no good anymore", it simply means they have not been taking good care of you at work and you need to replenish your energy.

Yes exactly.

 

[dhraiden]

Some thoughts on working in a high-pressure environment in the Lion City..

[FONT=&quot]Bit of a long-read from me here, but I want to convey some modicum of comfort, because from what you wrote I can tell that your sheer frustration is palpable, as is the extent of your deep despondency over your work(-life) situation, Charmed. I'm gonna make some assumptions and write from the heart, and reference some heavy topics with good cause - and hope that it all does some good to alleviate your present level of misery, and bring about a much-needed lift to your temporarily-flagging spirit. So..:

[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]First things first - above all else, please take things at one at a time and don't "project" too much into the future (if x doesn't happen, then y won't happen, then bad-thing-z will definitely happen). One-at-a-time. Don't emotionally invest yourself in your workplace or colleagues (any more), it's not healthy and actively hurting your mental and physical state of being. While that's an easy thing to say, it's much harder in actual practice because we're all humans, and humans are wired to crave three things: [/FONT]

1. [FONT=&quot]the feeling of solidarity or intimacy that comes from a sense of belonging to a large social grouping,[/FONT]
2. [FONT=&quot]validation of our innate self-worth, and, separate from that,[/FONT]
3. [FONT=&quot]recognition (or at least, acknowledgement of) our contributions. [/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]These are separate but inter-related concepts, and most of us grow up learning that we should strive to "earn" or receive these things from others - especially those growing up with Asian upbringings (like myself, although I'm American-born with an Indo-Carribbean background, and my parents didn't go crazy AFA embodying those negative parental stereotypes). Asian cultures famously seem to be always engaged in a contest for title "most over-achievinng/over-worked", especially at that certain echelon of the social strata - the middle rungs where hard work can indeed boost your prospects through life; but, there's also something integrally bounding the level of success most regular people can reasonably achieve, that a lot of people growing up on this myth-making easily miss, ignore, or don't want to think about - and that is, just like in so many other parts of the world, it's not just what you know, but who you know.[/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]Now, it's clear from what you've vented that you worked really hard at this place, and seemingly poured yourself into sustaining its "flow" (project completion) in ways both large and small, and, unjustly, have not received any of the three things I listed. No sense of belonging, no respect for your innate self-worth, no acknowledgement or recognition of the long hours you put in getting things done. Certainly nothing forthcoming on the part of your boss, who sounds like a thoroughly pleasant person. Reminds me of my first corporate job as an assistance financial comptroller for a large garment manufacturing outfit - they supplied a big-box NA retailer with all its child-clothing lines, essentially, and had me working often til 10 pm, midnite, and the last straw was getting home at 4am. To say nothing of seeing the actual conditions on the factory floor in places like Honduras and San Salvador. I couldn't support a place like that, couldn't work for it, and so I left.[/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]Singapore, which has (perceived) low levels of corruption, heavily stresses meritocracy as a means of societal advancement, values education, and is essentially W.E.I.R.D in every way, is also unfortunately deeply possessed of certain "mercenary" qualities of a stereotypical capitalist-acquisitive-oriented Asian mindset, without, say, the counterbalancing qualities of shared communal care (Nordic, as an example). One thing which that terrible CRA movie inadvertently got right, while ironically lauding those lifestyles (which was NOT the point of the book!)..anyway, which against the backdrop of being an over-populated island nation, leaves you with: [/FONT]

• [FONT=&quot]competition that is incredibly cut-throat, [/FONT]
• [FONT=&quot]office-peons under the strain of massive workloads that can kill (see karōshi). Singpore is no exception to this phenomenon, which affects youngsters, millenials, middle-aged adults, and seniors alike. (Also to say nothing of the abuses poor, under-educated migrant workers in Singapore face, as well, lest this read like something only the "office" classes face)[/FONT]
• [FONT=&quot]everyone feeling ultimately like an expendable cog, once used up, forgotten and easily replaced..[/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]And that all sounds really hideously depressing, right? But as a matter of the only thing we can truly ever be in control of in this world, as a matter of our deliberate mindset, it does not have to be, Charmed. [/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]I live New York City, here it's pretty much the same deal (probably a bit worse over at the End-Island owing to under-developed social programs, but still) and the local rat-race most everyone who isn't extremely wealthy gets born into by default can and will destroy your mind - if you let it. There's SO many people trying to take your place, by nature of this place. So few jobs. Unsteady pay. Random muggings and burglaries (both have happened to me), medical emergencies... automation destroying jobs, rents spiraling up forever, affordable areas destroyed for more and more playgrounds for the ultra-wealthy...it all mentally wears you WAY down, and some people, without any proper coping mechanisms, they end up fleeing... or worse (see second bullet point above). [/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]Now, the ones who remain, they'll tell you they toughed it out, but that's a story we tell ourselves that shows we let our pride get the better of us. It's easy to pat ourselves on the back, saying "Well, we were the ones who truly had the determination and GRIT to survive here - the rest, they were all soft and weak". That's a story I can tell others, but it wouldn't be entirely true - my parents' choices mattered, but so did a lot of luck, chance, good fortune, what have you. Simply being here at the right time and place before others. [/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]All of this is to say -- you do have a choice in how you approach this time of crisis. Don't let the circumstances you can't control lock you into a hopeless point-of-view. I won't diminish your outlook by saying the situation is not bad, or that things will get better. Truthfully, nobody really ever knows. The Buddhists embrace change as the only constant, and non-attachment. I'm not into that fully, but it is certainly helpful when you're feeling tossed about by the slings and arrows of the world. There's a good mental technique, I've used often, which is to envision the very worst that can happen, and then prepare yourself for it, and then - put it out of your mind. If NYC ever became so fantastically un-affordable, as much as I am deeply rooted and attached to my house and hood- well, I'd have to leave. And get another job. And bring my birds and partner with me, if possible. All things are possible, and it's a potentiality I'd certainly to avoid, but that's a bridge you cross when you get it (or it drops on you).[/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]I left that "good" corporate job because it was burning me out. So I never got a "good" resume, one that was burnished with ever-advancing job experience. Not sticking with that role likely changed the entire trajectory of my career and life, probably for the worse in the financial-salary sense. Instead, I ended up bouncing around between many gopher jobs doing accounting, inventory, office-admin grunt work, etc - for next to nothing, and with ungrateful bosses to boot, all of this with an MBA! I was keenly aware of my college colleagues making career advancements that, as the years yawned by, I could never hope to make up. It created worry and anxiety. But now, I don't think anymore about how much I could be earning - now I work at a non-profit where I earn far less than I could have, but the hours work for me and I derive the value in the positive things around me that I can. And I realized, that I can never be sustained by an external source of solidarity, of recognition, of validation - sooner or later, it'll change, run out, whatever. The hard work is nourishing yourself of those things from yourself. Hard to do when you are stressed, despondent, depressed, I know. But entirely possible. (PT II below!)[/FONT]

 

[dhraiden]

[FONT=&quot]But, you think, there's nothing positive about my work-life situation right now, at all, everything is uncertain, tenuous, and in potential jeopardy. This is where the sage advice from the other forum-members is invaluable: there are always "hidden positives" we often miss in the constellation of people, places, and things that make up our lives. If you have social connections, past or present - reach out and renew them. If you have professional contacts, put out your feelers and see what is going on in similar fields or industries. Communicate your feelings to the support group you have around you - the friends you may have made and met on your walks with Cairo, your Significant Other, any family you may have abroad. Don't be afraid of not receiving validation, or of receiving criticism for the choices you've made, or having your concerns lightly or superficially dismissed. [/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]All of this is to say, that there is an ultimate positive outcome to all of this, even if you can't see the path clearly from Here to There right now. As others have said, start to plan your escape, thoughtfully, carefully, and deliberately. And then, take things just one at a time. Maintain proper perspective, and ground yourself in the small and good things in the background of your life that you may be missing for all the looming negatives taking up oxygen and screaming for your attention in the foreground. Your mindset is determined by how you choose to view the world, and nothing can shake that fortress when you make it an unassailable redoubt against the world, strengthened by self-confidence and introspection. [/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]From all your posts that I've read, Charmed you come across as diligent, intelligent and compassionate. And those three attributes will always take you towards happiness in life, just sometimes across longer timelines than we'd like. Feel free to PM me if you want to vent, or talk, or whatever. It's great seeing your posts and following the joys and tribulations from the adorable adventures you & Cairo share, and I want to see you make it through the other side of this dark-cloud you're feeling your way through.
[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]
[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]And I know you will.[/FONT]

 

[Scott]

Charmed, I am so sorry to know you try to thrive in a no-win situation with sociopath/psychopath as boss. Wish I had advice, but I never worked in a cutthroat corporate environment and thus did not develop appropriate coping skills. Best suggestion is to compartmentalize as possible and make time for the small pleasures in life. Know that everything in life is temporary.