New to the site and need help.

[daizychyld]

Hello everyone. I found this forum while searching for parrot rescues in my area. I live in Georgia around Atlanta and the only one we have is Miss Vicki's parrot village but she is always full. I have a blue fronted amazon named Franky that I must re-home. I am not going to sit here and lie and tell you I can not afford him because that is not the case.

I purchased Franky when I was having a bought of depression three years ago and I did not do my research like I should have. I have severe anxiety and depression and he has become very loud and it makes it worse for me. I get very frustrated with him and often go in another room and cry or I cover him. Even after I have spent hours with him he goes to his cage and screams. He is bonded to me and hates my spouse so I am the only one that can spend time with him. I have taken very good care of him and I love him but I just can't do it anymore. I don't have the patience and I am once again experiencing a depressed state. I don't know what to do at this point. I refuse to put an ad in craigslist as I do not want some random person getting him. I have never re-homed a pet before because they have always been family members to me. I feel it would be unfair for me to keep Franky because he would just end up covered all the time. I feel like I am a bad parent giving up on a child. If anyone out there can help me I would greatly appreciate it. I am sorry if it was in bad taste to join your forum asking for help but I don't know where else to turn. Thank you.

 

[RavensGryf]

Hi, welcome to the forum. I'm so sorry to hear you're going through some tough times emotionally. I know you want to do right by Franky, and it's a heartbreaking decision, especially since Franky is bonded to you. But if you feel rehoming is the best decision for you, and in Franky's best interest in long run, then no one can judge. You're the only one here who knows if you can work with him long term or not.

Is Franky a confirmed male by proof of a DNA sexing test, or are you only assuming that he is or were verbally told? Did you get him as an adult, or a juvenile 3 years ago? Do you have pictures you can share? (Using a Photobucket account is the easiest way to post pics here.) Are you willing to ship if an ideal home is out of your area? Best of luck to you.

Note: I think you'll initially get more views here in this section, a little later on I'll move it to the adoptions/rehoming section.

 

[daizychyld]

Yes, he was DNA sexed by the breeder I got him from in Florida. He was a juvenile. I will have to go back in my emails to see his exact age. I have lots of photos and I will make a photobucket account right now. I would be willing to ship but I would have to be absolutely sure the home is suitable. Thank you for your kind words.

 

[daizychyld]

Here are a few pictures of Franky.



Franky by daizychyld | Photobucket

 

[Flboy]

Such a beautiful baby!

 

[Astorch]

Your parrot is very pretty, looks healthy, good luck!

 

[daizychyld]

Here is a video of him having a serious conversation with me.

[ame="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aGNbMosrx34"]20151121 215240 - YouTube[/ame]

 

[Astorch]

I like it.

 

[plumsmum2005]

Just wanted to say hi and link a thread which you may or may not like and which is current on here at the moment

http://www.parrotforums.com/conures/60655-stories-loki.html

Please don't feel bad. If any of us here can help we are pleased to do so.

 

[JerseyWendy]

Hi there, and welcome to the forums.

I'm terribly sorry to hear what you are going through.

Franky sure is a stunning boy! You've received some great advice already, I'd only like to add the following link, and kindly ask you to have a look at it: http://www.parrotforums.com/adoptio...-bird-please-read-before-making-decision.html

If we can assist you in any way, please don't hesitate to ask, ok?

 

[plumsmum2005]

Hello everyone. I found this forum while searching for parrot rescues in my area. I live in Georgia around Atlanta and the only one we have is Miss Vicki's parrot village but she is always full. I have a blue fronted amazon named Franky that I must re-home. I am not going to sit here and lie and tell you I can not afford him because that is not the case.

I purchased Franky when I was having a bought of depression three years ago and I did not do my research like I should have. I have severe anxiety and depression and he has become very loud and it makes it worse for me. I get very frustrated with him and often go in another room and cry or I cover him. Even after I have spent hours with him he goes to his cage and screams. He is bonded to me and hates my spouse so I am the only one that can spend time with him. I have taken very good care of him and I love him but I just can't do it anymore. I don't have the patience and I am once again experiencing a depressed state. I don't know what to do at this point. I refuse to put an ad in craigslist as I do not want some random person getting him. I have never re-homed a pet before because they have always been family members to me. I feel it would be unfair for me to keep Franky because he would just end up covered all the time. I feel like I am a bad parent giving up on a child. If anyone out there can help me I would greatly appreciate it. I am sorry if it was in bad taste to join your forum asking for help but I don't know where else to turn. Thank you.

Hello again I posted to you this morning but had little time to expand on what I was trying to get across to you. I hope you managed to read the link I included?

My message is do you think that Franky is being louder because he senses that all is not OK with you? He screams because he cannot express himself in any other way. Have you tried to give him a chance, they are so empathetic little creatures they really are. They bond with us so we assume they 'love', they grieve so we assume they 'hurt' too. Is Franky hurting for you? Can he help you? Can you, are you willing to try to find out? You do not sound like you want to re-home him.

At the end of the day please do not feel bad, OK? We are happy you came on here.

He is a beautiful boy isnt he?

 

[daizychyld]

Yes thank you. I did read the stories about Loki. The screaming has been going on for a while but I have felt bad for a while. I am not sure how to let him help me. I have him out with me but when he goes home he cries. I feel like it is my fault if he is feeling what I am feeling. I want him to be with someone who is happy, I just feel bad about it.

 

[plumsmum2005]

Yes thank you. I did read the stories about Loki. The screaming has been going on for a while but I have felt bad for a while. I am not sure how to let him help me. I have him out with me but when he goes home he cries. I feel like it is my fault if he is feeling what I am feeling. I want him to be with someone who is happy, I just feel bad about it.

Hi Let me put some links up for you to read as he does seem to love you.

Also can he be near you but in his cage (sorry if you have written about this I have very tired eyes tonite). Is this possible, he can be nearer to you?

http://www.parrotforums.com/general-parrot-information/3100-bond-forming.html

Work with him, he cries because he is unsure. Talk to him, gently, tell him it's Ok, you need to rest. They get to know. Give him a treat after you have told him.
If he shouts, call to him verbally tell him you're Ok and reassure him. You are his flock - he wants to check in with you.

 

[ClatteringConure]

Hello. I am very sorry that you are in this situation with Franky. It must be heart-wrenching decision to have to make. I am also sorry that you are having a hard time with depression as well.

I suffer from severe anxiety and depression as well. In the first few months or so of owning Loki, I thought I would have to take her back to the pet shop. She was squawking constantly and very nippy. Not nippy as in an aggressive nippy. I would cry and cry over it. Not for me but how unfair it was on her. I felt very guilty for having the mere thought of taking her back. I had done my research and read about green cheeks and thought I could handle her. My parents encouraged me to keep her and to give her time to adjust to me, them and the house. I had to wear a flannel for months and was very nervous to hold her for awhile due to the nipping.

However, she stopped nipping. Well, she stopped nipping me. haha She'll nip mom and dad because they don't hold her enough. Now two years later I don't think a thing about it.

I agree with plumsmum. Is it possible that Franky senses your distress and like my Loki screeches because it's his way of grieving for you?

Whenever I'm upset (and it doesn't have to be mental health related necessarily) Loki is capable of squawking up a storm until I calm down. And boy does she screech loud. Especially that night when I was in pain from spraining my back. Every time she heard me her screeching was piercing. When I laugh she literally laughs with me. She eats with me by eating her seeds when I eat. She comes to me when I call her and most of the time she comes to me on her own. All I have to do is walk up to her cage and here she comes. When something scares her she'll fly towards me and perch on me. When I dance and trust me I'm a horrible dancer she dances with me by bobbing her head up and down. When I am excited and animated she gets excited and animated with me. She'll start talking and bobbing her head. She gets so loud with her talking I find myself having to talk over her. haha

When I leave the living room where she is located I come back to see her hanging on the side of the cage waiting for me to come back. When I leave the house even if it's to just go outside or to town she squawks not wanting me to leave. Then when I come back to the house I find her screeching up a storm when she sees me. And I haven't even walked into the house yet. I'm still outside walking up the porch. Mom has said when I go outside Loki screeches when she sees me walking out to our mailbox. When I am around her she doesn't like others to be around me. She becomes protective of me. She'll fluff up her feathers, rub her beak on whatever surface she's on and sometimes charge at whoever is near me. She'll sit on mom and dad and when I go near her when she's on them she doesn't act aggressive towards me at all.

Loki is very much in tune with me and often when I express emotion she expresses it with me in her own way. And let me tell you it can be loud and she can be a demanding little bird. However, I know most of the time she knows I'm not feeling well and she wants me to take her. She'll beg me and sometimes she'll screech at me to take her.

I don't know what I would have done without her the last two years as my mental health has severely declined in the last three years. It wasn't until late last year could mom stay home with me. So up until then I had Loki with me and she was able to help keep me grounded. She let me know that I'm not alone and since I don't get out or have anyone to hang out with she provided (and provides) me with invaluable companionship.

We have come to understand each other over the last two years and we only continue to. I have come to learn pretty much what each sound she makes means. I know what sound she makes when she's very upset, mildly distressed, content/happy and I know stuff like when she's telling me she's ready for bed.

She's not only my baby girl but my best friend.


I am in no way trying to make you feel guilty. I only want to help you in your decision in any way I can. I want you to do what you feel is best for you and Franky.

Franky sounds an awful lot like my Loki. I hope you can find some way to make it work. For you and him. Feel free to PM me if you want. If there's any way I can help I would be more than happy to.

 

[plumsmum2005]

Thank you ClatteringConure for joining this thread
It might be possible that you will have to PM through a MOD and I'm sure that will be confirmed in due course.

 

[ClatteringConure]

Yes thank you. I did read the stories about Loki. The screaming has been going on for a while but I have felt bad for a while. I am not sure how to let him help me. I have him out with me but when he goes home he cries. I feel like it is my fault if he is feeling what I am feeling. I want him to be with someone who is happy, I just feel bad about it.

I absolutely loved that video you posted of Franky talking to you. I have conversations just like that with Loki. I'll talk to her and she'll 'talk' back bobbing her head. I often say it's like I'm talking to another person.

If I understand it right it sounds like Franky has started screaming around the time you started to feel bad? Loki didn't start out being the bird she is today. I think she knew something was wrong with me because she would watch me and get quiet but other than that she didn't do much. However, she slowly started to act differently the more severe my problems became. It wasn't until last fall did she start to become involved like she has.

Maybe that is what is happening with Franky? Has his screaming ever been a problem before? If it hasn't ever been a problem until now maybe he is starting to recognize you are having problems and is concerned about you.

This is just my opinion but it sounds like Franky loves you so very much. That video shows that in so many ways. Then the fact he started screaming when you started feeling bad.


As for what to do for him with me Loki just wants to sit on my shoulder, snuggle up against me and play with my hair. Just about 30 minutes ago she started making her nervous chirps. It didn't take me long to realize she wanted me to hold her. Earlier I may or may not have overworked my back. I'm not hurting much but it's a little difficult to get around. I took her for awhile and when she sits on me she is usually still snuggled up against my neck and preens my hair. When I had to put her up I could not get her off. I can usually get her to get off but when I'm hurting or am having a hard time I'm finding out she absolutely refuses to budge so mom or dad has to get her off. Dad got her off but not without her trying to take a bite out of his finger!

What I am trying to say what does Franky like to do with you? What do you and he normally do that he likes? For Loki and me it's just sitting around having quality time. For other birds, it's play time or affection (my girl isn't a touchy-feely bird) or other things. It depends on the bird.

As for you feeling bad that he feels your pain please try not to feel bad. Try not to think of it like that if possible. I don't. Like Loki with me, Franky obviously loves you and considers you a part of his flock. He wants to help you like Loki does me. Plumsmum I think is right. When he is screaming he is checking on you to make sure you are alright. When Loki screams or yells for me whether I'm in psychological/physical pain or not I respond back to let her know I'm fine. It often takes multiple reassurances and sometimes she continues to squawk to me but I continue to gently let her know I'm fine.

Loki and I are a team. We look out for one another. We are here for one another. That's how I see it.

That night when something scared her half to death I felt very protective of her very much like a mother would her daughter. It was my chance to help her like she had me. Mom said she would not calm down so I took her and it didn't take long for her to stop making her nervous chirps. Whenever she gets scared or frightened I become very concerned for her and say in a soft and loving voice "Loki it's okay baby girl." "You're okay sweetie." I say stuff like to her until she calms down.

I have one question that I don't think has been answered in this thread. Where is Franky's cage? Is it where there is the most activity in the house? Is he where he can see you the most? Maybe if he isn't and you could move him where he could see you it would help with the screaming. And give him some reassurance. I have Loki in the living room where all the activity is and she can see everything.

Hope all this helps! Even if it's just a little!

 

[daizychyld]

Thank you Clatteringconure. You have me bawling like a baby. His screaming is only a problem when I am having panic attacks or I am just generally sad or upset. He is not a touchy feely bird either. We like to just sit at my desk or on the couch and he uses me as a jungle gym. I have his cage where he can see me and I can see him at all times. I made him a gym out of pvc that I keep behind the couch but when I am sitting at my desk he always flies over to me. I have a very open style house so he can pretty much see me wherever I am except the bedroom. I even have a frosted window in the kitchen wall so he can see me when I am in there. I think I have babied him so much that when I leave the room he has separation anxiety. Sometimes I have to take him in the bathroom with me and do my business with him on my shoulder!!!!

Franky is also very protective over me. He hates my spouse. When we first got him it was the other way around. Our desks are next to each other and we spend most of our time there playing video games. I don't know if Franky is jealous, but when my spouse turns around to talk to me, he will strut around and puff up and will sometimes lunge. We have been taking steps to try and get Franky to tolerate him but he is stubborn. The only time Franky likes him is when (and I swear to you) he can HEAR him peeling a banana.

I believe Franky was having hormonal issues about two months ago. He would get on my shoulder and make really funny sounds and do this weird kind of dance. He would grab my face and sometimes try to stick his beak in my mouth. I would just put him back in his cage during those times so I would not encourage the behavior.

My spouse tells me that he is just being a child/teenager and I should give him time. I worry about the days that I don't get out of bed and Franky might feel alone. My spouse will stand at his cage talking to him, feeding him fruits and veggies on days like those. I also have severe fibromyalgia so sometimes that has me bedridden. I don't want Franky to end up hating me or feeling unloved. I love Franky with all my heart. He is like a child to me. Maybe coming to this forum and meeting you is the support system I need to help me through the hard times I have with him. If that is not a burden to you of course. Thank you for all of your kind words and understanding.

 

[ClatteringConure]

You are very welcome daizychyld. I am so very glad I can help.

His screaming is only a problem when I am having panic attacks or I am just generally sad or upset.

That tells me all I need to know right there. He knows you are in pain and like my Loki expresses his concern for you by screaming. Him screaming when you put him up is because he wants to be with you. Franky knows you're in pain and doesn't want to leave you alone. Loki doesn't like it when I put her up either when I'm having problems. She'll make her nervous chirps constantly and keep an eye on me. She'll follow me all around her cage when I move around. Sometimes she'll scream when I get out of her sight.

I think Franky will warm up to your spouse eventually. Just keep trying and I think it will happen. Loki's done some inappropriate things that I've had to put her up on her cage for too to discourage the behavior.

I wouldn't worry about Franky hating you or not feel loved. I sometimes am bedridden because of my depression. I have been having trouble ever since I've got Loki and it's only got worse. Does it matter to Loki? Nope, we've only continued to become closer.

I would be very happy to help you and talk to you when you need someone to talk to! It wouldn't be a burden at all! Or just to talk about anything in general. I'd always be up for a chat about Loki and Franky.

Trust me when I say you have a very special bird who cares for you and loves you so very much.

 

[itchyfeet]

He is like a child to me. Maybe coming to this forum and meeting you is the support system I need to help me through the hard times I have with him. If that is not a burden to you of course. Thank you for all of your kind words and understanding.

Awww daizychyld - that one there had ME balling! The doctors recently thought I had fibro, but since been diagnosed with a mild type of epilepsy, and the meds are working. No need to tell you I got lucky there!

The biggest saving grace for me was teaching my daughter how to prepare the foraging toys. We've built up quite a collection and have a wheel, a two pull box thingee, a kebob and then homemade stuff like filling toilet rolls (without glue) with cupcake wrappers and nuts. This forum and good ol' pinterest are awesome sources for ideas. On bedridden days especially, if your spouse can chuck in a few forraging activities Franky will have more to keep him busy.

My mother had my Galah before I did. She had cancer (is okay now), but as a result Marley the Galah is addicted to Disney movies. He's still loved, in good condition, and a happy wee thing - no worse off for his telly hours on chemo days/bad days etc. Is there a telly in your room? I understand on rough days that the noise, let alone the picture, of a television can be exhausting but maybe he can sit on his PVC perch next to the bed and hang out with you and some old favourite reruns?

By the way - love your gym! Nicely done!


Thinking of you!

 

[daizychyld]

Hi Itchyfeet. It took a while for me to get diagnosed with Fibro. One doctor actually told me they were sorry I was in pain and there was nothing they could do.

I too go to pinterest for ideas and I buy bunches of toy parts to make my own toys. I use natural unbleached coffee filters and wrap them around bowls and such. I wrap up nuts and other treats and hang them from his play stand. He LOVES shredding stuff. Franky has TOOOOONNNSSSSS of toys. He is a spoiled brat!!!