My lovely lovebird passed away suddenly...Needs help

[smarta]

I should also add – please don't blame yourself. And please know that it is absolutely normal to be questioning the "what ifs" but, as I am learning now, birds are very delicate and sometimes these things are beyond our control. When I was questioning the what if what ifs, my doctor said: "this is your mind trying to play tricks on you. It's because your mind wants to take control of the situation." Sometimes there really is nothing we could do. At some point, we will both understand this – I am still in the process myself. Sending you love and strength through this very trying time.

Well stated.

 

[Farnoosh]

Hi Farnoosh,

I'm truly sorry for your loss. It's certainly not easy to see them go.
Your Daisy must have been a wonderful fellow to you.

Thanks for your useful suggestion, I truly appreciate it.
Yes, I have thought about necroscopy, but I've decided to drop this idea.
Mostly it's because that avian specialist is not only specialising in avian, but they are also occupied with other small animals.

I once went to a really respectable avian specialist in my city, and he has quite a few high-tech equipment, but he just didn't check my sick birds well, and just told me that I should feed them more medicine. All the birds I took to that avian specialist died, maybe it's by chance. But somehow, I just don't feel comfortable enough to pass my babies to him. He might be very skillful, but I really see no compassion in his eye. I'm sure that he does a good job of what is specialising at, but I think being a doctor/nurse/ any compassionate jobs, you need to have a bit more than professional skills...I don't know, maybe I'm asking too much

Of course, I understand for every mistake you make, you try to fix it and make sure it doesn't happen again. I'm just being very careful with their food, fruits and their hygiene in general, and I want them to have fun and enjoy the world.

To be honest, sometimes I'm afraid to take my birds to see the doctor. I'm aware of the fact that they are extremely delicate, and any misuse of medicine can just kill them in an blink of eye. I've taken many birds to the doctor, and they didn't survive a day after the visit. I wonder at times if I actually trigger their death? I know there's no answer to that...but I just try to process this and like you said...learning to embrace it.

On a side note, may I know why a Fungus was developing in her body? I'm just curious about this. Only If you don't mind sharing this with us here.

Thank you, and lots of love and big cuddle to you, may your beautiful Daisy rest in peace x

hello dear and thank you so much for your wonderful response and your kind words about my beautiful Daisy. To answer your question about her, I still don't know much details about the type of fungus she had and how it happened, I am waiting for her doctor to get back to me as this discovery was quite recent and the doctor at the hospital is very busy – unfortunately – which is part of the problem when it comes to this particular bird hospital. I know what you mean about not liking the idea of taking them to the doctor – I feel the same way. Also I worry about the viruses that maybe other birds have that she might catch if she is in close proximity to them (I think the more I know about bird diseases, the more I worry LOL). Again I am very sorry about your loss and my heart feels your pain. Forgiving ourselves for any little thing we may have done or not done (and it is not humanly possible to be perfect 100% of the time) to cause our beloved delicate beings illness, is so hard! But we must keep ourselves strong for the other birds who come into our lives that need our love and attention.
Every time I read a post like yours, I gain hope for humanity and the depth of the human heart.
I wish you all the best in taking care of your other beautiful birds. Yes, all you can do is your best with hygiene and everything else – and I'm sure you are doing a wonderful job! I will post again at some point when I have more information about Daisy because part of the reason I did the investigation was to help everyone else when it comes to learning about our delicate birds, which everybody is to learning more about.
Take care.

 

[Mustikka]

I recently lost my favorite bird. She was killed by a barrier that I had put up to keep her safe. It was in place for 8 years with no incident. But somehow she knocked it over and was killed by it. I know you are feeling a lot of pain but please don't blame yourself or continue to figure out what happened. I'm also sorry that the nurse was so rude. I'm a nurse myself and it makes me sad that someone who is supposed to be compassionate and caring seems to be lacking in those traits. You are not alone. Looks like you came to the right place.

Hi Smarta,

Thanks for your kind message. Sorry it took me some time to reply, it's not easy for me to check this forum without tears. So I tend to check when I'm kind of ready for it.

I totally feel you, the barrier that you put up to keep her safe had a rather tragic end. This is what I thought when I bring my bird to the vet. I have this love and hate feeling toward seeing the vet. Please don't get me wrong, I totally respect vet's professions and skill. It's me that knowing if a bird's condition is so bad that need vet's attention, the bird's chance of surviving it...is relatively low.

I'm truly sorry for your lost, may your angel rest in peace

The nurse's reaction did shock me, but I know this is a single incident only. I've met some lovely nurses who have helped me and my family at difficult times. I guess I just didn't meet a good one with somebody laughing at your loss. Perhaps they don't know how to love animals like us.

Again, thank you and it's a privilege to be here.

 

[Mustikka]

You are more than welcome, Mustikka. Like you, I found this forum having experienced a sudden and devastating loss, and it was the compassion, warmth and understanding that I found among this community that helped me get through it. I hope that you find the same comfort here, and that one day the memories of Newbee's mischievous ways will bring you more smiles than tears. Sending love to you, and to Ms.boss too

LaManuka,


You are absolutely right. To be honest, I find it a bit difficult to deal with Newbee's death.

Even though it's been a couple of weeks already, and I really hope I can think of her happily later in time.

I can't thank you enough when I was so desperate to get an answer for her death...and I found people of my kind here.

It's hard to find a closure but I'm genuinely learning from here. Thank you,

 

[Mustikka]

hello dear and thank you so much for your wonderful response and your kind words about my beautiful Daisy. To answer your question about her, I still don't know much details about the type of fungus she had and how it happened, I am waiting for her doctor to get back to me as this discovery was quite recent and the doctor at the hospital is very busy – unfortunately – which is part of the problem when it comes to this particular bird hospital. I know what you mean about not liking the idea of taking them to the doctor – I feel the same way. Also I worry about the viruses that maybe other birds have that she might catch if she is in close proximity to them (I think the more I know about bird diseases, the more I worry LOL). Again I am very sorry about your loss and my heart feels your pain. Forgiving ourselves for any little thing we may have done or not done (and it is not humanly possible to be perfect 100% of the time) to cause our beloved delicate beings illness, is so hard! But we must keep ourselves strong for the other birds who come into our lives that need our love and attention.
Every time I read a post like yours, I gain hope for humanity and the depth of the human heart.
I wish you all the best in taking care of your other beautiful birds. Yes, all you can do is your best with hygiene and everything else – and I'm sure you are doing a wonderful job! I will post again at some point when I have more information about Daisy because part of the reason I did the investigation was to help everyone else when it comes to learning about our delicate birds, which everybody is to learning more about.
Take care.

Hi Farnoosh,

Thanks for your kind reply. I'm terribly sorry to reply you so late.

Actually, I re-read your message several times, it always made me cry. So I didn't really get a chance to write my reply till now.

I hope the doctor can check the exact cause for the fungus, and I hope it can bring you a closure with Daisy.

Forgiving ourselves is a lesson that we must learn. In my case, it's my own guilt. I wish I spent more time with her, but I'm just trying to think of with happy memories.

Only if you ever lost, you know the feeling that hits right into your chest.

I am better now, but whenever I read a post like yours, I burst into tears. We are all human beings, and I trust that we did what's best for that very moment.

My other bird, Ms. Boss is not young. She enjoys rubs on her head, and very selfishly I just want her to be around as long as she can. I would like to introduce her to people here when I feel ready. She's a cute lady!

Again, thank you for your loving words. May your Daisy rest in peace, and please take care x

 

[Farnoosh]

Hi Farnoosh,

Thanks for your kind reply. I'm terribly sorry to reply you so late.

Actually, I re-read your message several times, it always made me cry. So I didn't really get a chance to write my reply till now.

I hope the doctor can check the exact cause for the fungus, and I hope it can bring you a closure with Daisy.

Forgiving ourselves is a lesson that we must learn. In my case, it's my own guilt. I wish I spent more time with her, but I'm just trying to think of with happy memories.

Only if you ever lost, you know the feeling that hits right into your chest.

I am better now, but whenever I read a post like yours, I burst into tears. We are all human beings, and I trust that we did what's best for that very moment.

My other bird, Ms. Boss is not young. She enjoys rubs on her head, and very selfishly I just want her to be around as long as she can. I would like to introduce her to people here when I feel ready. She's a cute lady!

Again, thank you for your loving words. May your Daisy rest in peace, and please take care x

hi dear Mustikka
I'm so sorry also for not replying to your earlier. Your message also made me cry. I think we can connect with each other's emotions on a deep level because we understand the pain. And the guilt. I also regret that I don't have more pictures of her. And I regret that sometimes I got annoyed with her when I didn't have patience . There is not a moment in the day that I don't miss her and that I don't think about her. We will get through this. I have been meaning to share more about her and the things I have learned, but I can't post about her without crying the whole time so I will have to wait. Here is a quote that I read the other day and it helped me:
"In the face of Death, what matters is what's still alive." pema Levi
take care dear (((hugs)))

 

[Julinka]

I had a lovebird die suddenly too. I have no idea what happened and was completely devastated. He was only 4 years old, tame, and a very strong flier. Finally after a year and a half, I bought a lovebird that needed a new home. They are such cheerful mischievous comedians!
In your case I wonder if maybe your bird was old since you don't know how old the bird was when it flew into your life?

 

[Julinka]

Hi Farnoosh,

I'm truly sorry for your loss. It's certainly not easy to see them go.
Your Daisy must have been a wonderful fellow to you.

Thanks for your useful suggestion, I truly appreciate it.
Yes, I have thought about necroscopy, but I've decided to drop this idea.
Mostly it's because that avian specialist is not only specialising in avian, but they are also occupied with other small animals.

I once went to a really respectable avian specialist in my city, and he has quite a few high-tech equipment, but he just didn't check my sick birds well, and just told me that I should feed them more medicine. All the birds I took to that avian specialist died, maybe it's by chance. But somehow, I just don't feel comfortable enough to pass my babies to him. He might be very skillful, but I really see no compassion in his eye. I'm sure that he does a good job of what is specialising at, but I think being a doctor/nurse/ any compassionate jobs, you need to have a bit more than professional skills...I don't know, maybe I'm asking too much

Of course, I understand for every mistake you make, you try to fix it and make sure it doesn't happen again. I'm just being very careful with their food, fruits and their hygiene in general, and I want them to have fun and enjoy the world.

To be honest, sometimes I'm afraid to take my birds to see the doctor. I'm aware of the fact that they are extremely delicate, and any misuse of medicine can just kill them in an blink of eye. I've taken many birds to the doctor, and they didn't survive a day after the visit. I wonder at times if I actually trigger their death? I know there's no answer to that...but I just try to process this and like you said...learning to embrace it.

On a side note, may I know why a Fungus was developing in her body? I'm just curious about this. Only If you don't mind sharing this with us here.

Thank you, and lots of love and big cuddle to you, may your beautiful Daisy rest in peace x

Oh my goodness! I thought I was a little crazy for being reluctant to take my birds to the vet! It's much better when you know you have a really good vet who can often spot something simply by a physical exam. I had a vet like that but he moved. Before him, I took my lovebird to an avian vet that almost killed the bird by putting a collar on her too tightly. By the time I got the bird home she was foaming at the beak. I didn't know how to get the collar off and had to call them. They wanted me to bring the bird back in rather than take the collar off myself but I insisted and told them the bird would not live that long. Once rhe collar was off, my poor bird was in a kind of shock for days. She did recover but it was a horrible experience.

 

[bonton036]

Welcome to the Forums, Mustikka, although I am very sorry that it is under these extremely sad circumstances. Newbee sounds like she was a wonderful, sweet and playful little lovie and she most certainly was a beauty too!

I'm very glad that Newbee had 7 wonderful years being loved by you, although in my opinion it can never be long enough. As Newbee was a stray i suppose it's difficult to say how old she might have already been when she arrived at your home. It certainly sounds to me like you did everything you could for the whole time that you had her to give her a great life, and I believe that you did everything possible for her when she was suddenly taken ill. Heartbreakingly, our birds have evolved to be so very good at hiding any sign of illness or fatigue that even the most attentive parronts don't realise that they are ill, sometimes until it is too late. I do so wish that they weren't so very good at this, but they are. And I'm extremely dismayed by the terrible attitude displayed by that nurse at the doctor's clinic! Rest assured though that you are among friends here who understand your pain and empathise for your loss, and I am so glad you found us at this very distressing time. Most of us here, myself included, have suffered the pain of loss like you, and we are here for you.

I offer you the following verse written by an anonymous poet. It has always meant a lot to me...

"I will lend to you, a bird," God said,
"And teach you all you have to do,
And when I call her back to Heaven,
You will know she loved you too."

Godspeed to the Rainbow Bridge, sweet little Newbee, until we all meet again.

So very for your loss. May she fly free in the heavens above.

 

[Mustikka]

hi dear Mustikka
I'm so sorry also for not replying to your earlier. Your message also made me cry. I think we can connect with each other's emotions on a deep level because we understand the pain. And the guilt. I also regret that I don't have more pictures of her. And I regret that sometimes I got annoyed with her when I didn't have patience . There is not a moment in the day that I don't miss her and that I don't think about her. We will get through this. I have been meaning to share more about her and the things I have learned, but I can't post about her without crying the whole time so I will have to wait. Here is a quote that I read the other day and it helped me:
"In the face of Death, what matters is what's still alive." pema Levi
take care dear (((hugs)))

Dear Farnoosh,

Apologies for my late reply. I genuinely needed some time to digest what happened.
I would say that time is perhaps the best medicine in this case. I also regret a lot of things, my impatience with her, and letting her alone when I did have time to do other things.

Thank you dear, please be easy on yourself. We are all human beings, we make mistakes, and we all try to learn, and make it better next time. This is what we're meant to be. I told myself to smile every time when I think of her, it's bittersweet. My smile comes with tears too. I know it's the same for you, you should take your time. I think we all have to.

Thanks for the sweet quote, it is lovely and I'm sure it will help me.

Big hugs to you, and sorry for my late reply. I just needed some time to cool off, and it is genuinely heartwarming to read your post. It gave me strength to go through this difficult period of time.

Thank you dear xxx

 

[Mustikka]

I had a lovebird die suddenly too. I have no idea what happened and was completely devastated. He was only 4 years old, tame, and a very strong flier. Finally after a year and a half, I bought a lovebird that needed a new home. They are such cheerful mischievous comedians!
In your case I wonder if maybe your bird was old since you don't know how old the bird was when it flew into your life?

Hi Julinka,

I'm sorry for my belated reply. I was just afraid to check some messages here, it just brought too much pain and tears for me.

I'm sorry for your loss. I understand how it feels to lose a dear bird. Lovebird is really great to be around, they are naughty and very sweet at times.

It's great that you brought a new lovebird home. Is she/he sweet and close to you? I am sure that your new one will be a good company to you.

Actually, Newbie wasn't that old compare to Ms. Boss. Ms. Boss is really old, she's 16 years old now. She was born here, and all her family are gone. She's the only kin left.

I think you can kind of tell if the bird is old or young. Newbie's beak and feature were in good condition, and she was really energetic just a day before. So I really couldn't believe that she was gone in a blink of eye....but life sometimes is like this...we all have to accept it.

 

[Mustikka]

Oh my goodness! I thought I was a little crazy for being reluctant to take my birds to the vet! It's much better when you know you have a really good vet who can often spot something simply by a physical exam. I had a vet like that but he moved. Before him, I took my lovebird to an avian vet that almost killed the bird by putting a collar on her too tightly. By the time I got the bird home she was foaming at the beak. I didn't know how to get the collar off and had to call them. They wanted me to bring the bird back in rather than take the collar off myself but I insisted and told them the bird would not live that long. Once rhe collar was off, my poor bird was in a kind of shock for days. She did recover but it was a horrible experience.

Hi Julinka,

Nope, I don't think you are crazy. I wish I could find a trustworthy vet nearby. Unfortunately, they are a bit far from where I am. Most of the vets here only take care of cats, dogs and other animals.

It's horrible of what you experienced with that vet. He could have accidentally killed the bird. I wouldn't be able to stay calm if I were you.

My other bird, Ms. Boss she kind of choked herself the other day. I think she's digesting food much slower than before. She needs to chew much longer than what she used to be. And she was unable to swallow one of the seeds, and I saw her struggle with that. My heart almost skipped a beat...I wanted to do as what my vet once told me. He said that you should just get the cotton swabs, and dip some water to help her...

But I just felt so afraid that I might did something wrong...luckily she was able to get it down after a few swallows. This tiny incident really scared me enough...

Anyway, I hope your lovebird is happy and healthy! Hopefully we don't need to experience this kind of drama again

 

[Mustikka]

So very for your loss. May she fly free in the heavens above.

Thank you Bonton036, I really appreciate you taking time to read Newbie's story.

 

[Farnoosh]

Dear Farnoosh,

Apologies for my late reply. I genuinely needed some time to digest what happened.
I would say that time is perhaps the best medicine in this case. I also regret a lot of things, my impatience with her, and letting her alone when I did have time to do other things.

Thank you dear, please be easy on yourself. We are all human beings, we make mistakes, and we all try to learn, and make it better next time. This is what we're meant to be. I told myself to smile every time when I think of her, it's bittersweet. My smile comes with tears too. I know it's the same for you, you should take your time. I think we all have to.

Thanks for the sweet quote, it is lovely and I'm sure it will help me.

Big hugs to you, and sorry for my late reply. I just needed some time to cool off, and it is genuinely heartwarming to read your post. It gave me strength to go through this difficult period of time.

Thank you dear xxx

hello dear, and no need to apologize. In fact I was looking at that quote I shared with you today, so your message was in perfect timing.
Thank you for your words, they really did help me today. Yes we are constantly making mistakes as humans, and your words mean a lot to me especially right now as I read it as I was going through a hard day. As soon as I read what you said about smiling when you think of her, I did the same and I had tears. And then I read your
where you say the smile doesn't come without tears. Isn't it amazing how through our pain we can connect with someone who truly gets how we are feeling inside? I think that is a gift.
Thank you for your lovely words, I cherish them. Those words speak to both of us.
Take care of yourself and be gentle with yourself as well.
Lots of love XOXO

 

[Linda lee]

Oh, my, my, my... I am so sad to hear of your loss. I'm glad you're opening up here. One thing I always like to pass along for bereaved people is this: your darling passed away while LOVED and ADORED. That really is a rare and wonderful thing. I personally believe that endures into Eternity.
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