buurd
Active member
- May 11, 2018
- 299
- 38
- Parrots
- 2 Rosy Bourke's parrots
I woke from a nap and found my girl Bourke lying on the widow sill, dead. She was lying with her feet tucked under her, like she would be on a bed of grass. Her mouth nose and vent were clear.
She'd had more urine in her waste a few weeks back, but it cleared up with some Bene-Bac and a good quality green salad mix for birds. I noticed there was more urine again yesterday, and overnight, but cucumber had been laid out for them. My male's waste has been normal.
She was calling back to him in her usual voice this morning, she was hopping around on the floor and playing with a piece of cuttlebone, bright eyed as usual.
The only unusual thing was that, later on, she was trying to sleep on a long perch, and my boy would go over and bite at her feathers. Ive seen him do that before when he wanted her to move, so he could sit the highest spot and not her. So I shooed him away from her. Now I think he knew something was up with her and either trying to make her react or drive her away. She gave up the spot and sat in the sun, at the top of the curtains. And then I fell asleep.
I adopted the birds when I had a job, and shortly thereafter was laid off. I only just manged to acquire a partime job this past Monday, which I don't even start for two more weeks. I should have gave them both to a rescue immediately, and kept working up to it as my joblessness went on, but I was bonded to them.
I wrote a local rescue about it, in a low moment, and they just have you hand them over. But I dont know these people. How trustworthy they are, or what kind of people they would have handed them over to; you get no say in the matter.
So I caused her death, by hoping we could all hold it together until I could land a decent paying job. I didnt think I would be out of work for over a year, but I ended up helping out my sister who had gone through a sudden tragedy, and ran out of all my money.
I'm a POS for gambling with my baby's life. She should have lived 20 more years. I will never forgive myself. I love them both, but she was special to me. He's a cocky flirt and I love him the same, but she sank her talons into my heart the first time I looked into her beautiful eyes. She was always the braver and adventurous, between them. This hurts so bad. I hate myself.
I'm worried about my boy. They were always together. I was told when I adopted them that they had always been in their cage together. The @sshole breeder said she didnt let them out, ever. She said they were 2 years old.
He needed her more than she needed him, it seemed like. She would fly away off from him sometimes, and just chill. But he was always protecting her and perching next to her. They chattered and called and sang to each other constantly, even today.
Theyre bourkes, so they are more wild like aviary birds. They arent tamed, not handfed. They dont interact with me except for to call and sing with me, back and forth. They dont sit on me or even sit by me.
I am worried about him and how he is going to go through mourning. I dont think he knew she was dead because she wasnt in his line of sight. Neither of them called out to wake me, as I was sleeping about 8-10 feet away from them, in a closed room.
I showed him her body but I dont know if he understood totally, at first. He must have, right? But maybe he was in shock about it, like people get?
I laid her body out in his line of sight and nothing but looks at me and her. He never went to investigate her or yell at her, like Ive seen wild starlings do when one of them has died in traffic. He called to her a few times, after a while, like he wanted her attention.
I took her away and only now is he sitting on top of the curtains and crying. I dont know what else to call it, it must be mourning. Ive never heard him go on like this before, with this kind of 'song'. It's like he's calling her and also consoling himself; it sounds like human grieving to me. With humans, it would be a string of words. It has that kind of cadence.
I will try to load an audio clip of it in a bit, if he starts up again. He has stopped now, finally.
He is obviously upset, and I am worried for him. Will he die from this? She was his everything and I cant console him other than talking softly to him, calling or singing. And I dont know what it really means to him, how he interprets it, other than he does listen and 'talk' back.
Later, in the evening (now):
He stopped the song. Went back to the cage and ate. he sat in his swing and then called to me some , and I kept answering his calls. Now he is eating some millet I gave him. So I guess at the moment, he is handling it ok. But i am still worried about him being on his own, when I am not here, have to leave the house, have to work 10-12 hr shifts.
Im not leaving him this weekend, at all. I will be with him for most of two weeks, unless I can start another job sooner. But I am very worried about him and loneliness.
I wish I had pictures of her, or a sound recording, at least. I kept putting off taking pics because I didnt want to spook them. I'll forget her call, and it makes me so sad.
She'd had more urine in her waste a few weeks back, but it cleared up with some Bene-Bac and a good quality green salad mix for birds. I noticed there was more urine again yesterday, and overnight, but cucumber had been laid out for them. My male's waste has been normal.
She was calling back to him in her usual voice this morning, she was hopping around on the floor and playing with a piece of cuttlebone, bright eyed as usual.
The only unusual thing was that, later on, she was trying to sleep on a long perch, and my boy would go over and bite at her feathers. Ive seen him do that before when he wanted her to move, so he could sit the highest spot and not her. So I shooed him away from her. Now I think he knew something was up with her and either trying to make her react or drive her away. She gave up the spot and sat in the sun, at the top of the curtains. And then I fell asleep.
I adopted the birds when I had a job, and shortly thereafter was laid off. I only just manged to acquire a partime job this past Monday, which I don't even start for two more weeks. I should have gave them both to a rescue immediately, and kept working up to it as my joblessness went on, but I was bonded to them.
I wrote a local rescue about it, in a low moment, and they just have you hand them over. But I dont know these people. How trustworthy they are, or what kind of people they would have handed them over to; you get no say in the matter.
So I caused her death, by hoping we could all hold it together until I could land a decent paying job. I didnt think I would be out of work for over a year, but I ended up helping out my sister who had gone through a sudden tragedy, and ran out of all my money.
I'm a POS for gambling with my baby's life. She should have lived 20 more years. I will never forgive myself. I love them both, but she was special to me. He's a cocky flirt and I love him the same, but she sank her talons into my heart the first time I looked into her beautiful eyes. She was always the braver and adventurous, between them. This hurts so bad. I hate myself.
I'm worried about my boy. They were always together. I was told when I adopted them that they had always been in their cage together. The @sshole breeder said she didnt let them out, ever. She said they were 2 years old.
He needed her more than she needed him, it seemed like. She would fly away off from him sometimes, and just chill. But he was always protecting her and perching next to her. They chattered and called and sang to each other constantly, even today.
Theyre bourkes, so they are more wild like aviary birds. They arent tamed, not handfed. They dont interact with me except for to call and sing with me, back and forth. They dont sit on me or even sit by me.
I am worried about him and how he is going to go through mourning. I dont think he knew she was dead because she wasnt in his line of sight. Neither of them called out to wake me, as I was sleeping about 8-10 feet away from them, in a closed room.
I showed him her body but I dont know if he understood totally, at first. He must have, right? But maybe he was in shock about it, like people get?
I laid her body out in his line of sight and nothing but looks at me and her. He never went to investigate her or yell at her, like Ive seen wild starlings do when one of them has died in traffic. He called to her a few times, after a while, like he wanted her attention.
I took her away and only now is he sitting on top of the curtains and crying. I dont know what else to call it, it must be mourning. Ive never heard him go on like this before, with this kind of 'song'. It's like he's calling her and also consoling himself; it sounds like human grieving to me. With humans, it would be a string of words. It has that kind of cadence.
I will try to load an audio clip of it in a bit, if he starts up again. He has stopped now, finally.
He is obviously upset, and I am worried for him. Will he die from this? She was his everything and I cant console him other than talking softly to him, calling or singing. And I dont know what it really means to him, how he interprets it, other than he does listen and 'talk' back.
Later, in the evening (now):
He stopped the song. Went back to the cage and ate. he sat in his swing and then called to me some , and I kept answering his calls. Now he is eating some millet I gave him. So I guess at the moment, he is handling it ok. But i am still worried about him being on his own, when I am not here, have to leave the house, have to work 10-12 hr shifts.
Im not leaving him this weekend, at all. I will be with him for most of two weeks, unless I can start another job sooner. But I am very worried about him and loneliness.
I wish I had pictures of her, or a sound recording, at least. I kept putting off taking pics because I didnt want to spook them. I'll forget her call, and it makes me so sad.
