My bird has turned on me :(

[GCally]

I got Gizmo when he was around 3 months old I believe. Got him from a bird show and I picked him because he was so cuddly and sweet. He was so tame and wanted to be with me all the time. I would always let him take showers with me, hang out on my shoulder, etc. He would nip playfully now and then but I would put him on the floor and he would stop. He never drew blood or anyhting. Ever since I had my baby 9 months ago, he has become towards me the way he is towards everyone else! He has always been bonded to me, and bit everyone else, but now he is fluffing up and lunging and me and taking bites. Big ones! Every time I walk in he lunges at the cage in anger. After I had my baby I didn't interact much with him for a while, its true. I had bad PPD and it was hard to just keep up with myself and my baby. I've been trying to get him to let me hold him again, but he keeps biting. Not nipping, but biting and drawing blood. I just don't know what to do anymore...

Only options I can think of are selling him, or getting him maybe a parakeet friend? He's so lonely, but won't let me touch him. Not unless I want to lose some chunks of skin.

The photos are from back when he loved me...

 

[weco]

Your bird is jealous & is upset that your baby has taken away the attention he was getting.....

If you want to keep the bird, you have a lot of work ahead of you & you're going to have to probably go back & start from square one.....

It's too bad, but many girls/women with birds change their focus when they find themselves pregnant, rather than including the bird(s) in preparations for the new arrival.....I know of a couple that got one of those crying dolls & introduced their birds to what was to come in the second month of her pregnancy.....

Good luck on whatever decision you end up making.....

 

[buddhabread]

It sounds like he's hitting puberty. His hormones are in overdrive and he is adjusting to the changes just like you will have to. Please don't give up on him now . He is not doing this out of anger or spite or jealousy, and this is all very confusing for him. Adding another bird will not solve this, either. He will settle eventually.


*edit: Sorry, I read he was 3 months when you got him, saw the 9 months for the baby and went, "oh, year old!" How old is he now?

As far as how to approach it, I'm sure there are many here on the forum who have gone through this dozens of times with green cheeks and others and can give you incredible advice. As far as what I learned from our cockatoo, who was given up either because her family was moving or because she hit puberty, maybe both, there are some things that will help you.

Give him minimum 12 hours of sleep, more is better, in a dark and quiet space. This might mean getting a small cage meant solely for sleep so you can keep him where the household is less busy.

Sometimes moving him into a different room from the one his cage is in can help with the aggression towards you. That way you can try to keep a bond going.

If you manage to touch him, allow perching on arms only, no shoulder rides/neck rubbing (ear bite ahoy), and maybe scritch his head and neck. Do not touch him anywhere but the neck up! Mates preen intimately. If you are his "mate" at any time then he will have expectations to breed, and when you don't he will be confused and frustrated, which leads to bites.

Try not to be tempted to use gloves when you handle him if you are at any point. This will upset him more. Start using a perch to get him to step rather than your hands if he won't let you near him, take him to another room and see if he calms at all. You might also try opening the cage door and letting him climb out before trying to get him to step up, depending on how fiercely territorial he is.

This is all stuff that helped with our G2, your birdy is a totally different personality and what works for us may not work for you, but try everything. I'm sure there are plenty of other things more experienced members will be able to share with you.

 

[GCally]

So I got him in June 2011 so he is almost 2 years old. I miss my sweet bird. He is so hateful. I have to put him in the laundry room when its my babies naptime so he doesn't wake her up. I don't know if that is bad? Also when he bit my husband he would spray him with water. That doesn't happen much anymore.

It just seems like the intensity of his hate for me is through the roof right now! I just got back and I came in from the garage into the laundry room (where he is right now) and he instantly jumped down and lunged toward me trying to bite though the cage.
I actually got him to step up a week ago and took him to take a shower with me. He was very good and didn't bite me that whole time! I let him hang out in the bathroom while I fixed my hair and everything, and he acted like his old self. Stepped up every time I asked. I kept him out for about an hour, because I didn't want his niceness to end! And end it did. Has been awful this past week. The only reason I attempted to get him out to take a shower with me is because his feathers were all normal and not all fluffed up like they usually are when he is mad, which is most the time....

 

[buddhabread]

Sounds like a lot has gone into making him an angry baby With our G2, usually I'd make her get off, and if she tried to beak tap my leg (took it as a "mine! Mine!" action, I'd very gently tap her beak back with my nail, not enough to budge her but enough to hear a click. There are probably people who disagree strongly with this! But she would always be contrite afterwards, I'd let her back up and she'd relax a bit.

I wonder if changing the stuff around in his cage dramatically would help, or moving it into a new corner or even a new room. Take away lots of his stuff and replace it with absolutely foreign types of toys and perches, might throw him for a loop until he gets adjusted.

I really wanna emphasize the sleep schedule, I think that helped us the most when the G2 was a butthead. I see you have beardies! We set her sleep to our (one) dragon's light, which is on 12 off 12. if you do something similar this may help. Quiet room, too! Noises like talking or a tv may keep him up.

How badly does he scream? All the time, some of the time? Specific times?

 

[GCally]

I dont have the beardies anymore actually. He gets around 10 hours sleep now I think. As far as the noise while baby is napping, (this is what is confusing) Its alot of the shrill screech he does when I go out of sight sometimes. He used to do this when he was tame. We would call back and forth to each other. He also belts out the phrases he knows if he is out here in the living room and he hears me talking in another room. So he is still attached to me, which is odd, if only by sight. He yells out pretty bird, hey baby, and wolf whistles. Of course if I came up and tried getting him out of the cage he would bite. So thats why he goes in the laundry room while baby is sleeping. And if Im honest I dont usually bother to bring him back out between her naps. :/ He acutally spends alot of time in the laundry room lately.

So he really doesn't scream just for the heck of it. Its really only when he is in the living room and sees me go back to the back of the house and he hears me talking. I dont get how a bird that hates me so much can care when I leave his sight? Very confusing.... He hasn't learned any new phrases since I've had my baby, which I know is because I don't get to interact with him much anymore. Its all a vicious cycle. I won't interact with him because he bites, so then he becomes more and more hateful/resentful? and bites more.

Anyways, he used to nip me sometimes, but it was usually always for a reason like I rubbed a feather the wrong way or he didn't want to go back to his cage. And I was able to tap his beak or hold his beak and say NO and he would snap out of it. And they were never like the way he bites now. He bites hard and he won't back down! I mean he goes for my fingers over and over until I give up from pain and torn skin and get out of there! He gives it all he's got!

 

[BillsBirds]

In the photos, it looks like the cage is on the floor. Judging from the arm of the sofa in the photo. He should be higher up than that. Everyone would seem so much bigger to him. And, you've been moving his cage from the livingroom to the laundry room daily, to let the baby sleep? Both of these things are not good for him. And I won't comment on your husband spraying him with water! I have spent my life matching birds & people together. And/or retraining both birds & people to live together. And, I know this will be an unpopular response. But, in view of what it seems is going on, I'd suggest (sadly) finding him another home. Your baby, of course, always comes first. And your husband is certainly of no help here. This poor bird needs a fresh start. Either with you, if you are willing to put in the work, time & effort. Or somewhere else. I'm sorry, but, I don't see the bird coming out ahead in any way here. You think his behavior is confusing? He is confused about your behavior!

 

[buddhabread]

You've gotta stop thinking he hates you! He is upset and lonely, and the way things are supposed to be (the way things were his first year) have changed. His brain, while capable of great things, is just not taking to this particular hurdle well, and he gets more responses out of you when he bites and acts a fiend than anything else.

Is he flighted? If not maybe make a small stable pvc perch (super cheap, if you don't have a pvc cutter you can get one cheaply or borrow one. It's an addicting hobby, perch making) get the connecters in the right slip sizes and then get some vet wrap so he can hang on. Make it small enough to fit on a tabletop, maybe get fancy and attach a toy to it. He may start feeling more included and less alone. Make sure to chat with him a lot while you do this, offer bits of food he likes and then go about your business, take him along with you when you can as you move around the house. This is the hard way, definitely, but if you wanna keep him then he needs to be family again. His confusion must be astronomical, but I think if you are patient, show now fear from the bites, don't even flinch from a lunge. I usually puff some air to make a weird noise, like you wanna blow a few of the seeds off of a dandelion, and it distracts him into stopping. When he stops, "isn't he a good little boy?"

 

[GCally]

I just want to know there is hope, I definetly want to make this work!

 

[Featheredsamurai]

You should look into touch training with a clicker, and other training.

 

[GCally]

I just went to offer him a blackberry and he reached around it and bit me so incredibly hard and he wouldn't let go. I screamed because It hurt so bad and it tore up my skin and Im bleeding. I dont know what to do. Im so heartbroken.

 

[GCally]

When stuff like this keeps happening, I see no hope. I offer friendship and food, and all he wants to do is hurt me. Its the goal in his mind, he is dead set on it. He is not afraid of me in the slightest. He is just being aggresive. Getting hurt every time I interact with him is scaring me badly.
My finger is oozing and bleeding now.

 

[buddhabread]

Maybe start looking around to see if there is a bird club in your area. After going to a few expos and fairs around here I met a couple who were very involved with their bird club and gave me some advice for our G2 that helped us out.

Find a nearby group, reach out and have a conversation. Maybe someone could even come over for a bit, watch you guys and put in their two cents on what is happening and how to change things. At the very worst, they may be able to help you safely rehome him if absolutely nothing changes once you've taken their advice and tried it out. I would definitely seek local guidance that you can speak to face to face, and go on from there.

You *can* turn this around but it is gonna take change on the whole family's part. If you're the only one who adopts a new outlook then things may not change quickly, or at all depending on what is going on.

 

[Featheredsamurai]

Please don't loose hope and remember your parrot is not at fault, your bird is only telling you that he is unhappy with you. This can be reversed! Please try touch training. You can try offering a treat in a small bowl and if you have to wear leather gloves so the bites aren't as painful.

Here's a short video I made explaining touch training

[ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H0yIjT4Vf0Y"]Touch Training - YouTube[/ame]

here's some more videos you should watch

Here is a great video that talks about your situation. gets a little off topic in the middle then jumps back into the main point. Hopefully this will help you understand how your bird feels.

[ame="http://youtu.be/PyhPyPYDuso"]How to bond with a bird you pissed off - YouTube[/ame]

another one more

[ame="http://youtu.be/mGExJyckcFs"]Touch training leading to stepping up - YouTube[/ame]

 

[Tonkatiel]

The first thing I'd do is move him back to the living room and never put him in the laundry again! I'd be attacking you too if I went from being a loved family member to suddenly being locked in the laundry most of the time.
If you would like to keep this bird then believe it or not your baby is going to have to get used to the noise. I have a baby and a toddler who both have day time naps - the birds don't wake them up simply because they're used to it.

 

[Featheredsamurai]

The first thing I'd do is move him back to the living room and never put him in the laundry again! I'd be attacking you too if I went from being a loved family member to suddenly being locked in the laundry most of the time.
If you would like to keep this bird then believe it or not your baby is going to have to get used to the noise. I have a baby and a toddler who both have day time naps - the birds don't wake them up simply because they're used to it.

I agree, a green cheek isn't even that loud. People with much louder birds do fine with babies.

 

[Echo]

People have given you good advice.

This is what I would try:

Open his cage door so he comes out. (Work with him in the evening when you can turn the lights really really low, like 1 small light in the room next to where he is but no light in his room). Once he is out, make sure lights are off except for 1 so he can see it's you and you can still see him(you still want it pretty dark). Put your sleeve over your hand and talk to him softly and ask for step up. He won't see your sleeve but you will be protected if he bites. Go sit down with him somewhere just talking to him in the darken living room, you might even be able to pet him then. Only spend a bit of time, maybe 10mn talking to him, then give him a treat he loves (Mine love cashews) and put him back in his cage.

I would do this every evening before going to bed when husband and baby have retired for the night.

Why do this so late?
1) Your bird will be sleepy and more relaxed than during the day, so less aggressive.

2) Birds don't fly in the dark, so they are usually not aggressive as aggression usually gets followed by flight.

3) The house will be quiet and he will get you all for himself without any distractions and will also get a treat to bring along before going to sleep.

The goal is to increase the time you spend together and do the session earlier and earlier until you can do that in daylight and you can trust him not to bite you.(when you are not so afraid of him biting).

 

[RiosMom]

Great advice being given so far. One thing that I was told is that you can't take this personally. That's hard (I'm in a similar situation with my 3 year old gcc...who's hormones are raging) to do, because you remember the cuddly baby who loved you and you think...he/she hates me. Every time Rio bites me, and I try to read the signs so a bite doesn't happen, I ask myself what I might have done differently. Does that mean my feelings aren't hurt? Nope. I'm really sad that I can't "fix" whatever is broken right now, but I keep trying. If it's worth it to you, you'll keep trying to improve the relationship. It's a circular thing you are dealing with (like me), but we just have to find a way to break the circle and turn it into a heart. The love is there for us to find if we want to, we just have to find the language the bird understands.

 

[Melandkids]

I know all birds are different but I can tell you I wanted to lock myself in a closet and cry when my grandbaby was born. My bc would make sounds like a fire truck and keep getting louder every time the baby cried and of course that happened at least every 4 hours at first. I would recommend not moving the cage. That will make it worse. The baby has to adjust to the bird if you want to keep it. And the bird does too. During nap time put a small radio by the cage and put on soothing music or talk your bird. Every time my bc would start screaming everyone in the house would start making clucking or kissing sounds. Only sometimes would I put her back in the cage and cover the front so she could only see out the window. Also everyone in the house would hold the baby walk up to the cage and softly talk to her for a couple of minutes. Since she isn't getting to take showers with you can you take the cage outside? Give her a little sprinkle? Plus extra treats, veggies, fruits didn't hurt either.. Hope some of this helps

 

[GCally]

Wow thanks so much for the advice everyone! I'm going to start with moving him back into his large cage and putting him in the kitchen of living room with us. I'm going to put him back on the healthy pellet food they sell at the Parrot Adoption Center down the road and I'm going to get him some new stimulating toys. The toys he has now are shredded, even the one I got him recently. I'm going to look back over this advice and find things to try! Thanks for the vids Copper!