My baby conure died because of my ignorance

[harrythepineappleconure]

Hi. It actually made me cry when I read your post because I know that absolute pain of losing a bird and also losing him to an accident. It's coming up to 2 years since I lost my Amazon. I had him for 18 years, 10 of those years he was my friend and my happiness during a difficult time in my life. The guilt and grief was and still is sometimes unbearable.
Your Harry would have passed quickly, knowing that you loved him so very much. Some parrots have a long life without knowing any love at all.
I am so grateful to the lovely people on this forum who helped me, and who I know still would. Also, I still write memories down on my phone and then every few months I type them up and print them, so now I have pages and pages of memories of my beautiful little man that I will treasure forever. I also read 'grief' books and poems...these also helped me cope.
Please keep posting on here when you feel down. Thinking of you. Chrissie.
I will attach a couple of my favourite poems for you today.

Thank you so much Chrissie. I haven’t been on this forum in so long until tonight. I’ve been an absolute wreck. Definitely the comfort I needed

 

[harrythepineappleconure]

I am so sorry for your immense loss and pain. I had a pineapple green cheek also who passed recently and we were very bonded. I can understand your pain completely. Warm hugs and healing thoughts your way

Thank you I’m so sorry for your loss…they are the sweetest little babies. Always and forever in our hearts 🕊

 

[harrythepineappleconure]

I'm so sorry for your loss Thanks for sharing and I hope you'll be ok someday. I'm facing the same pain as yours. Two days ago I lost my baby Pritt for exactly the same reason as yours, you slept with me. The pain is suffocating, is surreal. I can't live with this guilt, I'm hopeless... My baby was so sweet, so affectionate.
I can't imagine the pain he felt, I hope it was brief.

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I’m sorry to hear. Only we know the pain of a situation like this. It is unbearable. We just have to think positive…we loved them, took care of them, spent so much time with them. They loved us and bonded with us which is why the pain is so unbearable. I hope you’re okay too

 

[paimonandeula]

I lost my 11 month old baby Harry two days ago and the pain is unbearable. I keep wishing it was me that was taken, not my sweet innocent baby boy.
I keep blaming myself because I KNEW it was extremely risky sleeping with your bird.
I had stopped sleeping with him for a while and he would always sleep covered in his night time cage. But that night he would not settle, he kept crying and also discovered a way to escape from his cage…I gave in and took him to bed with me. He fell asleep on my chest but when I woke I felt him underneath my back and I can’t get the image of his sweet little lifeless face out of my head. He looked like he was sleeping at first but he never responded. My heart is broken. I just thought one night…one night with him wouldn’t hurt and I crushed him my poor baby. It kills me to think he suffered because of my stupidity.
Harry was my first pet bird. He was an absolutely beautiful little boy. He was a pineapple conure. I have never felt so much love and affection from an animal in my entire life. The bond we formed was inseparable. He helped me a lot with my depression and anxiety. I’m going to miss his excited chirps every time I’d come home, his kisses and cuddles…his dancing and singing. Rolling on his back and playing with his toy. His unconditional love for me and his cheeky antics. I never knew how much joy a little bird could bring. I will always love him - the time, care and love I put into my baby and now he’s gone I can’t believe what I’ve done. I haven’t stopped crying for two days.
I don’t know how I’m going to live with this guilt…he’s gone because of me

I'm so sorry. This is making me cry. That must be horrible, and i really hope soon you can forgive yourself and the pain eases.

 

[LoveKiwi]

I lost my 11 month old baby Harry two days ago and the pain is unbearable. I keep wishing it was me that was taken, not my sweet innocent baby boy.
I keep blaming myself because I KNEW it was extremely risky sleeping with your bird.
I had stopped sleeping with him for a while and he would always sleep covered in his night time cage. But that night he would not settle, he kept crying and also discovered a way to escape from his cage…I gave in and took him to bed with me. He fell asleep on my chest but when I woke I felt him underneath my back and I can’t get the image of his sweet little lifeless face out of my head. He looked like he was sleeping at first but he never responded. My heart is broken. I just thought one night…one night with him wouldn’t hurt and I crushed him my poor baby. It kills me to think he suffered because of my stupidity.
Harry was my first pet bird. He was an absolutely beautiful little boy. He was a pineapple conure. I have never felt so much love and affection from an animal in my entire life. The bond we formed was inseparable. He helped me a lot with my depression and anxiety. I’m going to miss his excited chirps every time I’d come home, his kisses and cuddles…his dancing and singing. Rolling on his back and playing with his toy. His unconditional love for me and his cheeky antics. I never knew how much joy a little bird could bring. I will always love him - the time, care and love I put into my baby and now he’s gone I can’t believe what I’ve done. I haven’t stopped crying for two days.
I don’t know how I’m going to live with this guilt…he’s gone because of me

A similar situation happened last night with our 11-month baby conure Kiwi. My 12-year-old daughter is devastated and blaming herself for that. She didn't even want to go to school. I am still crying as I type this message. I feel your pain too.

I hope you are coping well and getting better every day from the incident. Oh, it is so hard to experience a loss like this. I am trying my best to help my young daughter cope with this. Thank you so much for continuing to share your stories. Our love to you and your family.

 

[miki]

So saaaad . RIP

I lost my 11 month old baby Harry two days ago and the pain is unbearable. I keep wishing it was me that was taken, not my sweet innocent baby boy.
I keep blaming myself because I KNEW it was extremely risky sleeping with your bird.
I had stopped sleeping with him for a while and he would always sleep covered in his night time cage. But that night he would not settle, he kept crying and also discovered a way to escape from his cage…I gave in and took him to bed with me. He fell asleep on my chest but when I woke I felt him underneath my back and I can’t get the image of his sweet little lifeless face out of my head. He looked like he was sleeping at first but he never responded. My heart is broken. I just thought one night…one night with him wouldn’t hurt and I crushed him my poor baby. It kills me to think he suffered because of my stupidity.
Harry was my first pet bird. He was an absolutely beautiful little boy. He was a pineapple conure. I have never felt so much love and affection from an animal in my entire life. The bond we formed was inseparable. He helped me a lot with my depression and anxiety. I’m going to miss his excited chirps every time I’d come home, his kisses and cuddles…his dancing and singing. Rolling on his back and playing with his toy. His unconditional love for me and his cheeky antics. I never knew how much joy a little bird could bring. I will always love him - the time, care and love I put into my baby and now he’s gone I can’t believe what I’ve done. I haven’t stopped crying for two days.
I don’t know how I’m going to live with this guilt…he’s gone because of me

Ouch1 Sorry about your loss. It's hard losing a beloved pet, because they're so like and so part of the family, and can be such good companions to have around. Give yourself time to mourn before getting another bird.