Mental illness and owning parrots

[Akuma223]

I've been struggling with bad anxiety, depression, and anger outbursts since I was in first grade. Mental illness like that runs rampant on my moms side and both she and my brother are bi-polar. There are days now where I wonder if I am bi-polar as well.

I've always found interaction with animals of all kinds to be healing and relaxing, however having them as pets and family members can be a double edged sword. They can both sooth and sharply exacerbate my anxiety on bad days. Birds in particular I can have sharp highs and lows with, not so much now that i am slightly more stable and understanding but in the beginning my parakeet Klobi would just about drive me to madness with his squawking.

When I am depressed my birds, fish, and reptiles may be the only thing keeping me alive because they depend on me, and they're the only reason I can get up out of bed. The loss of a pet always comes down hard though, I will always find a way to blame myself and it can bring me down for weeks and even months. My biggest mistakes and misunderstandings with past pets will always haunt me when I am at my worst.

All in all the good outweighs the bad. I feel my animals give me purpose and companionship i find hard to come by in humans now that im an adult. I feel I'm a better and more compassionate person because of what I've learned from them. I try to share it with others whenever i can.

 

[SailBoat]

We work with older Amazons that have been left like yesterday's trash. They are sick, injured and most abused. We have losses and I can assure you that I remember them all, the day we meet, high and lows and the day they pass-on. Each provided a gain in knowledge combined with great improvements in Avian care. Their memories haunt and inspire. The reality is that many would have lived a bit longer with what I know today. They teach, we learn and others gain from the knowledge they caused. Each entered our life and created they own special place in our hearts and prior to their moving-on they created room for another.

The wonders of Parrot Forums is that you are surround by those who have traveled a like path and felt like experiences and in all cases know what a ball of warm feathers can bring to a moment!

 

[Pixelette]

i havent read all the replies, i am new here.

i have fairly bad anxiety and mild depression which i am only just getting treatment for after 30 odd years of suffering. My animals keep me going but moreover, having a little bird friend who is right next to me really really helps. Even though he seems to not like me much, i love the noises he makes and his antics.

 

[katiea]

I got PTSD a few years after I got my birds. I have nightmares every night but I have to get straight out of bed to make them breakfast and if I wasn’t doing that I’d probably sit in bed all day honestly. I make the breakfast preparation take as long as possible, I have a notebook where I weigh yesterday’s food and water dishes and weigh today’s food and water dishes, with labels and homemade graphs. I measure out all their food and have 8 different bins for different food categories, the whole thing takes around an hour. By the time I’m putting food and water in their cages I can’t even remember what my dream was about. Unlike other treatments like meditation or things like that, I can’t skip it. Most days I would really rather stay in bed but I know I can’t. And when I’m having a bad day and I try to stay in bed my green cheek screams until I wake up, and his screaming upsets he lovebirds and the other green cheek and the tiels, so everyone is screaming and then I really have to get out of bed. (the latest I’ve slept in since getting birds is 9am so they aren’t screaming out of starvation, they still have leftover pellets from yesterday, not ideal but they aren’t doing without)

 

[African_charlie]

i have anxiety and having my baby helped me HEAPS
ive runaway before charlie and if i didnt have him than ......
i cant imagine where i would be if it wasnt for him

 

[Emio123456789]

I have been battling really bad depression for the past year and my birds are absolutely amazing for cheering me up. But Sometimes I'm so depressed that I can't give my birds the attention they need, but then also sometimes it helps me get out of bed because I know I have to take care of them. When I had a green cheek conure it was amazing. When I was sad he normally got mad at me or cuddled with me, either way it cheered me up. I now have two budgies and although they don't like to cuddle it's still nice to sit and watch tv with them because even if I don't want to talk to anybody I can always talk and hangout with my birds. Also when I'm down I enjoy making bird toys it gives me something to do because I know I can never have enough bird toys and it always makes me happy seeing my birds with there new toys.

 

[LaManuka]

To quote the legendary David Bowie " All my nightmares came today, and I think they're here to stay."

For me that day was August 21 2018, when I lost my precious baby GCC Baci to pancreatitis, suspected to have been brought on by zinc ingestion. I do not know how he got it - I do not have metal toys other than stainless steel and I have even tested our household tap water, nothing unusual there either. But I still blame myself and I always will.

I have not been professionally diagnosed with any kind of mental illness although my father suffered from anxiety, depression and low self-esteem, and my mother is bi-polar. Her father also was Asperger's with a schizophrenic sister so I am guessing there is a place somewhere on the spectrum for me.

While i wholeheartedly agree that being a parront is a fantastic thing for anyone, not only people with psychiatric/psychological issues, in my own personal experience it can be utterly devastating to lose a special baby boy like my Baci. It is now I think day 53 since I lost him and I still weep buckets of tears for him Every Single Day. My dear husband pretty much had to carry me out of the supermarket today after I saw a box of Baci chocolates on the shelf and I broke down. I do not know if/how/when I will ever recover, or if I even want to. Baci was by no means perfect but I loved him madly and even when he got hormonal and lacerated my fingers for me, I knew I would never give up on him. And he never gave up on me.

Everything was OK when I had him in my life. Now everything isn't.

So I guess my point is yes it's great while they are here, but there is a huge emotional price to pay should anything bad happen. That can be true for any one of us I guess, just more so for the emotionally/psychologically vulnerable among us.

This may be my last post for quite a while. I want to thank everyone who has said "thanks" for my posts and read them, I have laughed and cried with all of you along the way. I will have to take some "time out" to properly grieve for my boy now.

Thank you and goodnight.

 

[Laurasea]

Lamanuka I greive with you! I lost Burt The Bird my GCC of 17 years in May. She had been sick off and on her whole life so I feel lucky to have had 17 years...I can't have children do certainly I feel like she was my child... Then I feel guilty for loving my new boy Neptune and my rescues. Her passing was the boot in the but I needed to make the most wonderful life for Ta-dah who was heart broken as well for the loss of her friend. Lamanuka I'm sorry you are feeling extra low right now, everyone grieves in their own time and their own way. I will miss you and your kindness and sass. I certainly feel a kindred spirit with you and I want more Scomo posts. For all of our other brave posters I feel for you all, and am glad our love of parrots brings us together as a community!! As I used to say of my Burt The Bird they are sent from heaven above on wings of love.. I have myasthenia gravis, it severly limits my life now, as the more you try and do the less neurotransmitter there is to move your muscles. It's a very rare autoimmune condition that people have never heard of, my hospital had to do training to be able to support me when I go into crisis, which is when I am so weak I can't breath as my diaphragm muscles barley work, and I can't speak because my throat muscles stop working. Sometimes I can't even lift a glass of water...but I'm thankful there is no pain, and most mornings I have almost full strength for a awhile. I have to spend two days at the hospital every month for treatment. So yes those parrots and my dogs they make all the difference, they bring a lot of joy and love . For everyone suffering the challenges of life, I think it speaks well of us that we still love, will still want to do better for our cherished Parrots. This is such a brave thread! You all have my love!

 

[SilverSage]

In the last 3 years I have lost 3 of my most precious friends;

Cache my sweet sweet rescue gcc died basically of long term malnutrition due to her first owners having her beak “trimmed” every 4-6 weeks resulting in an extremely sensitive beak that radically impacted what she would and wouldn’t eat and messed up her organs to the point that even years later we were never able to completely overcome or reverse the damage.

Glorie, my adventure buddy, Avian Ambassador, cockatiel extraordinaire, the bird of my heart. Dead in her cage with no explanation almost a year ago now.

And Titan, feisty little punk that she was, determined and stubborn from the day she hatched and was rejected by her parents. We struggled together and she survived until she also died mysteriously a few days after Glorie. Nothing was found in the necropsies, nothing in the environmental tests.

Each time I fell apart. Each time people suggested I should seriously consider not having birds anymore. But I wouldn’t trade knowing them. I wouldn’t. The pain is crippling even now, and yes it makes my mental illness worse for a time, but I don’t know who I would be, how I would hold on without my birds.

I have a human child now, and a lot of people expected him to replace my pets. Those people are dumb lol. I love my son more than I thought it possible to love, but he holds a DIFFERENT place in my life.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

 

[Squeeing_Onion]

Even just seeing this topic open for conversation and sharing - honestly makes me feel a lot more comfortable! While I have not been clinically diagnosed, recent major stresses in my life have left my mental health in a very precarious state, and was previously already not the best of situations. I've struggled a lot with severe depression and stress.

A parrot companion has been one of the best influences on me for coping. I originally set out to adopt my first bird with this as the major inspiration and desire. Chicken did more than I ever imagined for helping me be happier, healthier, and even some days just having the motivation to get out of bed because my little birdie buddy was depending on me to.

When he passed away suddenly, I was hit by just how hard I utterly depended on his presence, something which I had not really fully understood the depth of, and something that was terrifying in learning! I do not like being dependent on anyone, and I had not even realized I relied on him so much. It was just such a natural relationship, I never thought twice about that aspect. There was, as well, also the assumed knowledge I would be with him for the next ~20 years. That time being cut short was like a bucket of cold water on a winter day.

He was apart of every moment of my day, even if it was just idle thoughts of - 'oh hey, I'm grocery shopping, I should pick him up some healthy food!' or walking in the door and my first action being to contact-call a greeting to him.

I utterly fell apart in the between time between his loss, and my later adoption of my newest buddy, Bongo. There were some days I couldn't even get out of bed, everything was just too overwhelming. It's one of the darkest times I've experienced in my life. I have never been so low in a rut and unable to pick myself up out of it on my own. His passing was the 'straw that broke the camel's back,' as it were, and everything else came crashing down.


Some say parrots love is not unconditional - boy, can they hold grudges when they want to! - but rather even more valued for having to be earned. And, sometimes, just luck of the draw - we all know about parrots picking their favorite human for reasons unknown to us!

For some reason, I have found birds just fit perfectly well in my life as a companion.

I love their noises some consider obnoxious or annoying, and indeed enjoy making them right back! I've discovered I've got an obsession for sounds and noises, haha. I don't mind cleaning up their mess, and their need for attention I find pleasing and easy to fulfill.

Interacting with a parrot is a very complex relationship, in some ways not unlike a human relationship in the depth of the social complexity. Having to figure out behaviors, interactions, likes, dislikes... etc!

To compare: A hamster, for example, is adorable, but not necessarily a deeply 'intellectual' interaction. (pls no hate! I love hamsters, we kept them for some eight years, and enjoyed the companionship of several rescue hammies, as well <3) Just trying to illustrate the difference of depth, complexity, and mental engagement.

However... Removed is the aspect of human concerns. My bird isn't going to pester me about social media, about the news, or ask me questions about the things that stress me out. I can chatter all I like to them about anything - and they enjoy the interaction and being socialized with, while there's no worry about them making a judgement beyond "Hey, hey, human, scratch my head, clean my cage, and give me some treats!" or "WHY DID YOU LEEEEAVE MEEEEE CUDDLE ME. NOW." (after I maybe bite you to remind you I'm upset about it)

I've found they are also, like many animals, very good to keep the human caretaker mentally engaged and physically active. Your bird needs care every single day - multiple times throughout the day, even! And if you're not providing... They're going to let you know about it, and everyone else, too. They're like feathery little coaches who aren't afraid about telling me I'm slacking and should get a move on.

They require complex social interaction and mental stimulation just like we do (even if in different levels and ways) - even if we might not consciously see it as that complex, since for many bird people, I think it comes second-nature to us

TL;DR: Parrots keep me going. I was shocked, embarrassed, and more than a little ashamed to find myself literally unable to function in day-to-day life without the company of a bird. It might be a little dramatic to say they're the reason I'm able to keep going, but it would not be untrue.

They provide me with the complexity of social engagement, without the stresses of human interaction. (What can I say? I'm a big dork for animals! xD)

And... c'mon, they're cute as heck!

 

[buurd]

Wonderfully said, Squeeing Onion.

I found myself whistle-singing the song I sing to my birds, as I was leaving the market this morning. So if my birds are making me mental, they're doing it in the best way how.

 

[happycat]

I have depression, anxiety, OCD, and ADHD. I got my conure in a really depressed stage of my life, where all I did was lie in bed. I was also recovering from an eating disorder so all around a pretty crappy time.
He honestly helped so much.
His bright attitude, the way he cuddles, and the way he talks to me just makes me so much happier. I still suffer from depression, but when I get home and I get to play with my birds and cuddle my conure I always feel a little bit better.
On the downside, having depression makes it really hard to take care of pets sometimes. On really depressed days I do things like forgetting to feed them/take them out and it always makes me feel really bad. At least it’s motivation for getting better.

 

[beetory]

I deal with a lot of anxiety and depression. I also got Booger when I was at a really low point in my life like happycat's post above! I was fresh out of high school and had no idea what to do or where to go. I spent a whole year too tired to even get out of my bed and didn't even have a job but my dad asked me about the bird I had always been talking about and we went out and found one (at a flea market lol). From the first moment I held Booger something kind of started to clear out. He helped me in really weird ways, like I couldn't sleep until 3pm anymore because I had to get up, uncover him, give him fresh food and water, play with him, etc. And slowly I started to change my routine and got more active and even applied to school and started taking courses. We had him for a bit over a year before adding Darling to the mix.

Now Darling, Booger, and the babies are still a huge help on helping me get up and moving. I do hit low patches still, I have my days or sometimes weeks when I shut down from everyone but them, but as long as they keep my head clear enough to care for them I feel like they are beneficial. I keep my job because I want them to have everything they need, I come home and they're always so excited to see me, and it helps. It's like a do it for them type of thing. I'm not sure if I'd be around anymore if it hadn't been for Booger. I think my parents probably saw that and wanted to get me something that I would have to commit my life to. He's been helping me for over 7 years and I'm sure he'll continue helping me even longer than that.

 

[Sandy19]

I have OCD with cleanliness and neatness, I have a routine I have to do every morning and if I skip doing it then I don't feel right going about my day. The bird has not helped me with this one bit lol, but she brings me joy anyway.

 

[PenClem]

As someone who lives with Post-traumatic Stress Disorder and Major Depressive Disorder, I can most assuredly tell you that if it were not my pets, I would have taken my life years ago.

It isn't just that their basic needs must be met, but it's the love they generate within me when I look at them that makes me want to live. It's the genuine affection we share for each other that creates this massive feeling of warmth in me. That is why I stick around, and I'm very glad to see my loves when I first open my eyes every day.

As others have stated, I have a requirement to meet in caring for them. I take it very seriously. I want my birds (and dogs and cats) to live the best possible lives they can have within the limits of domestication. Since they are not wild and free, I do my best to ensure a life of enrichment, love, and safety.

 

[Skittys_Daddy]

I wish I had discovered this thread earlier as it is a topic I can very much relate too. But 98% of the time I am over in the Conure thread (mainly cause Skittles checks my internet history to make sure I'm not discussing any other species )

Anywho, in all seriousness, I discovered this thread while typing "sun conure" in the search button. My Skittles is free-flighted and when I'm home, he's out of the cage with me. The longest we've ever been apart in the day was 5hrs and the times when we've been apart more than four hours I can count on one hand and I've had him over seven years. See, I have what can only be described as "sun conure separation anxiety" and while I often look so forward to the time following putting him to bed (my "me time", as I call it) I will develop SCSA symptoms if I am up past 3a.

Skittles is an integral part of my day and so much of what I do and where I go is influenced by him. So its kind of like Linus and his blanket for the two of us. I get into this trance where I obsessively search the internet for sun conure pictures and videos. I look forward to sharing my experiences with mental illness and the effect it has had on me. I'll close by saying that I have Bipolar I, which is the most severe form as well as a severe form of OCD that has often caused me more problems than the Bipolar I. Needless to say, birds have had a profound effect on me in so many ways through the years, but my story is a long one and I would like to tell it in installments. Some of you who visit/post in the Conure thread are probably familiar with much of my struggles, but I wish to share a more personal detailed version of my story.

Thank you for creating this thread.

 

[buurd]

Since this thread is about mental health, I just want to bring up something that pops up around in some of the threads, and that is casually using a term of psychological diagnosis, when describing a bird: please don't.

I know it's tempting to do, in casual conversation, and I really hope I have avoided doing it too, in my posts. No matter what you or I think when we say it, it is not appreciated by the actual people who have the diagnosis or condition, or those who love them, to have a human medical diagnosis/condition lightly bandied about to describe some bit of animal behavior.

I know nobody intends to be mean when saying it, but how we intend or feel, doesnt take precedence over what the next person feels, in this regard. We do not know who everyone looking into this board is, or the challenges that they might face.

We dont think twice about being sensitive, fair and compassionate toward birds on this board, and we shouldnt feel any less of that sentiment toward the people reading this board.

 

[ChristaNL]

If I want to describe my greys as being 'slightly autistic' I do so because it fits their bill perfectly (no pun intended) and I think no person with autism will be insulted by that, because well, they/we know what it is like and probably recognize it in the behaviour of the bird!

(Or is this about the old ' you can only joke with/about your own handicaps'? So only white-people are allowed to tell white-people-jokes anymore?)

As long as the quoted mental deviations from the norm are used correctly - I do not see the problem.
If we keep this up you cannot ask for help because your bird has seizures, because someone who suffers from epilepsie *might* read this and *may be* insulted ?


I do not advocate the use of mental illness to belittle or otherwise intentionally make someone feel bad, but as an accurate description of symptoms or a quick, shorthand way of describing a situation...why not?


(even though we curse freely with every known physical illnes ever invented as well as the mental ones in NL / its a cultural thing / so I may be a bit lax about it)




You coming here and demand we censure ourselves in *the* one thread where everyone can talk freely in their own words about what they experience and went through or are still dealing with makes me really angry, scared and a lot of other feelings that are not nice (will sort them later - because, yes autism is timeconsuming).
So thanks for ruining free speach and the feeling safe here! (but no thanks)


==

 

[Sandy19]

I guess I should throw my hat in.

When I was in kindergarten I came down with encephalitis and was hospitalized for at least a week. After this happened I started exhibiting the symptoms of OCD (back then the term had not been invented). I had ticks mostly related to jerking my head to the left. I would make noises sniffing and snocking, and I would count when switching light switches on and off. I had to come up with an even number 2,4,6 etc. and that caused me to flip the light switch rapidly on/off while counting.

I was given a mild sedative and over time I was able to reduce/control the desire/compulsions of doing these things.

To this day it's something that is close to the surface. I have to be carful not to start up again lest I loose control of it.

texsize

Same thing here. I think it started around the age of seven. I would constantly have to clear my throat and I had to touch the refrigerator a certain number of times before going to school in the morning or something terrible would happen. I outgrew it by telling myself this is ridiculous and not rational thinking, but it's still there just lingering under the surface like you said.

It's nothing that has caused a huge disruption in my life where I would seek medical help, but I think I channel a lot of that OCD into cleaning my house. If I don't do that cleaning ritual every morning, I find it hard to focus on doing anything else the rest of the day. I may be crazy, but at least my house is clean lol. And I still have some other quirks too, like when I lock my car I have to click the beeper three times. Better than 20 I guess, then everyone would really think I'm nuts.

 

[Terry57]

Since this thread is about mental health, I just want to bring up something that pops up around in some of the threads, and that is casually using a term of psychological diagnosis, when describing a bird: please don't.

I know it's tempting to do, in casual conversation, and I really hope I have avoided doing it too, in my posts. No matter what you or I think when we say it, it is not appreciated by the actual people who have the diagnosis or condition, or those who love them, to have a human medical diagnosis/condition lightly bandied about to describe some bit of animal behavior.

I don't feel this way at all...I am an actual person with BPD, and it doesn't bother me at all when someone says that about their bird's actions.