Lorikeet all of a sudden dislikes boyfriend

[Steenbokpixie]

Goku the baby Rainbow Lorikeet we found on the road a few months ago seems to be going through a weird phase with my boyfriend. He seems to really dislike him - for no reason that we can think of.

Goku used to love spending time with both of us out of the cage. When we opened the cage and told him to step up to come out he used to do it gladly. Now he still does it for me (although he's hesitant when my boyfriend is around), but when my boyfriend brings his hand near him he moves away to get as far as possible. When he's out of the cage, he flies away when my boyfriend moves to scratch him or play with him.

My boyfriend says this started a few days ago. He was doing a lot of study for uni in the front room during the day (I'm a contractor and am on-site during the day, get home at about 6:15) and would bring Goku with him. Goku was perfectly fine in the front room. He'd sit on my boyfriend, climb all over him, play with his pens etc as he studied. But when my boyfriend brought him back into the other room to put him in or on top of his cage he would suddenly get annoyed and try to get away from him.

I do a lot of work after I get home at night on my own clients and have a little office in a spare bedroom in the house. Quite often I'll bring Goku in there onto the little setup I've made for him. He'll occupy himself and watch what I'm doing while I work. When it's time to put him back he's been totally fine with me, however.

Goku never did like going into his cage from the top of it, so I get him fidgeting and moving away then. But he never used to do it when my boyfriend just went to scratch or play with him, or when he moved to carry him out of his cage when he was in. My boyfriend puts him in and out more often than I do as I'm away during the day. But when Goku is out on top of his cage by himself he climbs in and out at will and he doesn't seem to mind getting into his cage on his own and he's never minded my boyfriend playing with him before. I asked my boyfriend if maybe something happened, like Goku hurt himself on accident when he was around him, but he can't think of anything at all.

We suspect (though we're not sure) that Goku is somewhere around 6 months old and we are also only assuming that he's a male - really we have no idea. Could this be some sort of weird phase? He went through a territorial phase before where he didn't want to get out of his cage or be touched, right after he grew out of his "I want to cuddle all the time" phase, but we worked past that...I'm not really sure what this is.

I suggested giving Goku incentive to get closer to the boyfriend when he's near by having the boyfriend hold an apple or some other treat when he wants to touch Goku. But we're not sure if this is going to work and we'd really like to know what a possible cause for this could be.

 

[wildheart]

My girl hates my husband and even holding treats does not work. She bites his hand right past the treat. He tried the other day to hold a treat in a big spoon, she jumped onto the spoon and ran towards his hand and bit him with ALL her might. We have come to accepting that she will always hate him and we live around it. But your case is different because your boyfriend is home more than what you are. Goku will really loose out on quality time if this behavior continue.

In my search to cure the problem I have found lots of websites about it and tried most of it with no success. There are millions of people out there with exactly the same problem with all different types of parrots - with no cure. Clicker training is one of those things that does not work for my girl. There is however one thing that we did not try because my husband will not take over my roll.

You must only do the bad things with Guko and your boyfriend must do all the fun things including the daily feeding. The less Guko has to do with you the better until he is back to his old self and loves your boyfriend. (That is, if it ever happens.)

Unfortunately this behavior has to stop immediately and your boyfriend must show NO signs of aggression or hurt or any emotion when Guko acts up against him. My husband freaked out at the beginning every time that she bit him and it was the wrongest thing to do. Today he shows no emotion when she bites but it is already too late.

Good luck.

 

[wjh-nyc]

This is interesting to me. My Memo will join us in about 2 weeks. There are 3 adults in my household and I will be the primary care and attention giver... But I wonder how he may bond to the 2 other guys I live with. Time will tell, I guess.

 

[wildheart]

They say that it is important that the parrot spends time with everybody in the household, this will prevent them from bonding with one person and being aggressive to another. The problem is that everybody in the household does not want to spend time with the parrot. Hope it will be different there by you.

 

[Von1983]

I could have read the OP wrong and forgive me if I have.....but is it sounds sort of like the way Cal can get with my husband occasionally.

She loves her Daddy, but if he is doing something during her out of cage time like on the PC or using the Xbox, eating dinner, lying down etc, he will obviously let her clamber all over him and talk away to her, but he doesn't fuss her physically if he is busy. On these occasions, when he calls her to him she lands and then flies away. She will also nibble him.

To me, the reason is simple. Cal knows the only reason he wants to touch her is to put her home to her cage where like most fids, she doesn't want to go - she wants to stay with us. (Even though it is our bedtime and she is just missing out on snoring lol)

Therefore, if your bf is busy studying and is allowing your bird to climb on him and play with pens etc, but maybe for the last couple of times he's only touched the bird to put him back to the other room, then your bird has cottoned on lol!

My hubby now makes sure he gives Cal a scritch etc early on in out of cage time so she is easier to put home!!! Our birds are so intelligent and appear to remember EVERYTHING lol.

He still slips up occasionally though and boy, does he pay hehe.

 

[wildheart]

Oh Vonnie you clever girl!

I hope that is the problem and not real aggression. Steenbokpixie did not mention if Goku bites her boyfriend or not, hopefully it is the not and the problem can be solved easily.

 

[Steenbokpixie]

Thank you for everyone's advice! I'll show my boyfriend all of your replies when he gets home tonight. Goku doesn't so much try to bite my boyfriend as he tries to get away from him. Even when my boyfriend doesn't try to touch Goku and stands a couple of metres away from the cage, Goku will actually move to the OTHER side of the cage away from him.

Unfortunately my boyfriend can be very stubborn. He wants to be the "boss" and he does get grumpy when Goku rejects him. He's very frustrated over this whole thing. I hope he can find a way to follow your advice and not act hurt or annoyed when Goku does this.

 

[wildheart]

Sterrretjie went through a stage that she ran away from me, but it was during the time that she only associated me with medicine. I did not allow this behavior and just slowly followed her and picked her up. If Goku is trained to step up then he can try and do what I did with Sterretjie. I held my one hand in front of her and brought my other hand in behind her back, she always jumped on my hand in front of her long before I could touch her from the back. I suppose it is in her attempt to get away from my hand coming from the back that makes her jump.

I would suggest that he must do lots of fun things with Goku and that he must be the only one who gives treats.

Men can be VERY stubborn, I sit with one who refuse to spend any time with Sterretjie because she did not fall in love with him from day one. To them it must ONLY be fun and no work! Unfortunately to win a parrots heart unconditionally you have to put a lot of work in. But the reward is indescribable.

 

[Von1983]

Looking forward to hearing what the bf says to all this!

 

[Steenbokpixie]

I showed the bf your replies and he seems willing to cooperate and try your advice. However he has a logistical question:

When I'm away during the day, Goku does not want to step onto the boyfriend's hand to come out of the cage. The boyfriend could make him step up, but then that's a negative experience for Goku isn't it, and we're supposed to make everything my boyfriend does with him positive?

If he doesn't force Goku to step up to come out there is the option of just him opening the cage door and Goku will come out by himself. This leaves the problem of Goku not wanting to step up on the boyfriend to go back in. So when it's time for him to go back inside, like if my boyfriend has to go out of the house for a bit, and he tries to get Goku to step up to go back to his cage Goku just flies away from him. The bf can try walking after him calmly and picking him up using the hand-behind-Goku method you suggested here, but he says that when he does force Goku to get onto his hand he'll step up, and then fly back to his cage himself as soon as he can - either on top of it (which restarts the process) or inside (which means that Goku just escaped from the boyfriend into his own cage)

The boyfriend also mentioned that this appears to be at its worst when the cage is in sight. If Goku is away from the cage he will still be hesitant, but he eventually will go back to his old self. Until it's time for him to step up again.

And when I get back - if I'm meant to not do any fun things with Goku until things are back to normal, does this mean I can't let him out of the cage or have him sit near me in the office? Do we keep him in his cage until he does step on the boyfriend willingly? I fear that this will result in Goku being cooped up in his cage throughout the whole day and not getting any out time at all.

P.S. today we got one of Goku's favorite treats - baby food. The boyfriend opened the cage and gave him some out of the jar. Goku was hesitant at first, but then came up to him and started eating. But when the boyfriend tried to incite Goku to step up on him to get more baby food, Goku moved to the back of the cage and wouldn't budge.