I've lost confidence!

[T00tsyd]

Unusually Syd went onto my shoulder first thing this morning on the transition from sleep cage to day cage. He usually travels on my hand for that trip although he spends other times on my shoulders.
As we arrived at his cage I offered a spare perch to step up which is something he will happily do as a rule, but today he suddenly lunged and punctured my cheek. Blood flowed and it has been very painful. Unfortunately today was a day when I had to leave him for the afternoon so apart from just 30 mins out this morning and a few minutes now he has been caged today.

The trouble is that suddenly I don't trust him. I don't want him on my shoulder, and if I'm really honest I am a bit scared.

If I was replying to anyone else I would suggest going back to basics, and almost starting all over again - are there any other thoughts?

 

[Kalel]

Yup, that's what I'd do. No more shoulders for now would be a good idea too. They learn fast, but if you are scared and can't trust him then having him on your shoulder will not help in regaining trust level back-for both of you. Good luck and let us know how things progress.

 

[chris-md]

I know exactly what your feeling, I get it whenever I get bit by a hornmonal Parker. And it tends to last until the wound heals. People don’t really talk about it, but trust is a two way street and a bite has a way of eroding that trust on your end. Given the bond that forms, it often makes a bite a very emotional event for the human.

Back to basics is one tool available to rebuild the trust. It’s not about disciplining the bird. It’s about burying one failed step up with a hundred successful step ups.

Was this your first bite with Syd?

 

[T00tsyd]

I know exactly what your feeling, I get it whenever I get bit by a hornmonal Parker. And it tends to last until the wound heals. People don’t really talk about it, but trust is a two way street and a bite has a way of eroding that trust on your end. Given the bond that forms, it often makes a bite a very emotional event for the human.

Back to basics is one tool available to rebuild the trust. It’s not about disciplining the bird. It’s about burying one failed step up with a hundred successful step ups.

Was this your first bite with Syd?

Interestingly he has bitten my fingers a couple of times over the last couple of weeks. Not enough to draw blood but enough to really hurt, but hands are one thing my cheek was something else. I just didn't see it coming and have no idea what sparked it unless it was simply that he changed the routine by riding on my shoulder. Normally we go straight from the one cage to the other and apart from talking to him we don't hang about so he can get his first poop. Breakfast follows and he is usually chirruping away happily.

I may well feel better tomorrow it's just about bedtime here for Syd. Normally he is out now for a last fly around/play but not tonight.

 

[MonicaMc]

Sounds like biting of the hands was leading up to being bitten on the cheek... it's been a progression.

There may be something off, or perhaps you may need to change how you are interacting with him in some way. You may need to scrutinize your interactions with him and try to figure out what's triggering those bites.

 

[Soyajam]

Agree with the scrutiny.

While you're building the trust again think about what cues you might have missed. Did he get on your shoulders because he was scared of something? Was he agitated by something when you went to his sleep cage?
Knowing why you missed the pre-bite cues will help avoid one of these next time.

(I dread my first real bite...)

 

[GaleriaGila]

May I just offer my heartfelt thoughts, apologies, rationalizations, and opinions?

Even after all these years, I sometimes find myself putting myself or my bird down... stuff like...
I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO PUT UP WITH THIS OR THAT.
WHY CAN'T HE BE SWEET AND NICE, LIKE A PUPPY?
PEOPLE WILL NEVER UNDERSTAND WHY I PUT UP WITH THIS.
Stuff like that.
But the Rb is a parrot... one generation out of the wild.
I do all the right things, as much/well as I can, but in the end, I just LOVE my bird,
Some parrots are SO SWEET, some are NOT. I'm HAPPY and a bit JEALOUS of those successes.
I have lessened my psychological and physical wounds over the decades... not because I've changed the bird, but I have changed me. And a lot of that has involved giving up on a lot of my desires/expectations. After years of battle, I surrendered. I admit... as to why have I not (and why am I unable/unwilling) to train the Rb to do anything that he doesn't want to do?
Example... if I have a treat, and he sees it and wants it, I HAVE to give it too him. I simply cannot/will not NOT give him what he wants. No training there!
Consequently, I have a Tazmanian Devil on my hands. I love him. I have no complaints, really. He's HIMSELF. And I'm MYSELF. And the result... check my Signature for videos. etc., if you like.
Over the years, I have been very embarassed/downhearted/sad about having a pet that was so... out of my control.

But finally, I've accepted that I have an amazing half-wild being who loves me and perches on my hand and speaks to me! It's magic enough for us.

HUGZSZSZSZSZSZSZSZSZS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[plumsmum2005]

Yes agree with the scrutiny, some parrots can have a long memory, certainly Plum does. Not often but if something was off in his eyes he will make his point. Have a think about the previous day, anything amiss. Look for tell-tales that his body language is even only slightly off. If not sure take it tentatively, ask Syd if things are good. They usually like that bit of extra attention anyway. Block your shoulder if he cannot be trusted. Do you approach his cage and just pick up where you left off? Maybe just giving him a minute or two to reacquaint with you will help. Maybe he wasnt sure of your body language?

 

[T00tsyd]

This morning I followed our usual routine but admit to wearing a hoodie up over my head. It made me feel safer - not sure it would make much difference. I watched him carefully but as usual he stayed on my hand and stepped up into his cage like he usually does. So from where I stand everything looks back to normal. I have wracked my brains to think what might have destabilised him yesterday and the only thing I can think of is a new toy in his cage. This doesn't normally faze him and he played with it delightedly during the day and I always replace toys while he is in bed so it is something he is used to, but perhaps this toy threw him. I'm only guessing.

Back to the drawing board today. I'm around all day so will do a lot of hopefully remedial work with him for both our sakes. Thanks for the help guys - fingers crossed. Lovely big bruise on the cheek today and still very painful. I won't forget in a hurry me thinks!

 

[LordTriggs]

I think the shock of the bite is what scared you more than the actual bite. You know it's not out of hatred, something in his little brain decided "bite" should happen. It's always tricky to find the why, maybe he was cranky through getting not enough too much or the wrong sleep, roused too early for his liking, not given his favourite treat, the sun was in the wrong place, a leaf exists somewhere on the planet. the list can literally go on forever.

Jump back on the horse so to speak, I would avoid acting different to him outside of maybe conserving the shoulder time until he's behaving appropriately

 

[plumsmum2005]

Plum's favourite target is ears now lol, I think we sometimes just think our birds are an extension to our human family, almost make them human but they are not. They can read so much we don't see. Perhaps just being a bit more aware and not taking it for granted will help. Please dont change how you are as this will be read by Syd and he will change to. If you have parrots a beak is their communication tool and a bite now and then is part and parcel. It gets less as you know each other longer. Parrots use their beaks on each other in the flock as in 'pack it in mate!' if one is too much.

Try some witch hazel to bring out the bruise a bit quicker.

 

[T00tsyd]

I think the shock of the bite is what scared you more than the actual bite. You know it's not out of hatred, something in his little brain decided "bite" should happen. It's always tricky to find the why, maybe he was cranky through getting not enough too much or the wrong sleep, roused too early for his liking, not given his favourite treat, the sun was in the wrong place, a leaf exists somewhere on the planet. the list can literally go on forever.

Jump back on the horse so to speak, I would avoid acting different to him outside of maybe conserving the shoulder time until he's behaving appropriately

I'm sure you are right. I am making every effort to be normal. We are talking - the only thing he has offered repeatedly today is 'I'm sorry' which feels quite appropriate, but while he is out I have resorted to a scarf wrapped hijab style around my head and shoulders.

One thing that is different is that he is quite reluctant to step up on the spare perch that I often use but very happy to step up on hands. I am avoiding shoulder perks which he seems to find disconcerting almost as if he is trying to work out why and he hasn't tried to fly to me and land on my head or back/shoulder which he usually does. Still a few days will change everything hopefully.

I wasn't sure yesterday but I still love him just need proof he loves me a little.

 

[LordTriggs]

he does love you, he's just unsure why you're acting different. That bite is long gone from his mind now. Maybe a good long cuddle session is needed and playing some games with him

 

[T00tsyd]

he does love you, he's just unsure why you're acting different. That bite is long gone from his mind now. Maybe a good long cuddle session is needed and playing some games with him

Mmmm what about hide and seek? Outside!

 

[LordTriggs]

peek-a-boo maybe? Or a game of fetch?

 

[T00tsyd]

peek-a-boo maybe? Or a game of fetch?

Fetch? He throws I fetch!

 

[wrench13]

Nothing build bondds better then teaching your parrot to do some tricks, especially if you can engage their minds and sense of play. One of Saltys favorites is to hid a small bit of pine nut under a 10" square of cloth and ask him where is it? Loves to burrow under it and find it, and then return the cloth to me to do it again. We do sessions every night, and he soooo looks forward to them.

 

[bill_e]

I learned quickly that Nike doesn't like me to bring a phone anywhere near my head when she's on my shoulder. There are also times when she's pretty horny where we don't allow her on our shoulders at all during those times. During those periods she is like a light switch, one second fine and the next her headdress goes up and watch out!

At the vet this week when he was dremmeling her nails I asked him to take the point off her beak....which I had done that years ago as she is very mouthy, always using her beak for added stability and grip. So much so that we don't think twice when she grabs on with it which is fine 99% of the time unless she feeling sexy. Now it doesn't hurt even when she goes after a bug on my neck (freckle) and gives me enough time to determine what she's up to and remove her if she gets too rough with her pinches.

Like other's have said, pay attention to his mood and body language. I've never had a bird from a baby like your Syd but I'm guessing that this was just something in his mood that day and you'll have lots of cuddly years ahead before you really have to pay attention when he comes of age.

 

[T00tsyd]

It has been 3+ days since Syd shocked me with his attack on my cheek. Since then I have worn a scarf around my head and kept him off my head and shoulders and have also given him more cage time than usual all the while talking to him and offering the odd treat particularly when he has been calm and sweet.

He has taken it pretty well but I couldn't help but notice his seeming confusion at the withdrawal of shoulder privileges, to the point that he was not attempting it any more. So today after continual good behaviour I allowed him on my shoulder with no headscarf and I can only describe him as ecstatic.

He snuggled and clicked and chirruped with apparent joy. After just 5 minutes I asked him to step up onto my hand and placed him in his cage where he is now contently having a late lunch. If I'm honest I am still just a tad wary but hopefully if current progress continues that will fade. Thanks for the advice/concern/commiserations.

 

[Flboy]

"Something in his ?little? brain decided ‘bite’ should happen" (LordTriggs)
This is the key! You were not attacked, there was a reason, always is! If my JoJo hears a noise in the other room and I don’t respond, he will nip me. It will get stronger and stronger until I acknowledge and react to the noise also! If he perceives a danger, I get hit hard!
Your job is to always step back, and figure out what the reason was!
At nine months old it could have easily been an overload rush! How many of us have been bitten by a human male toddler?

In that split second, he may have felt he was trying to save your life!