Is this true?

[Pookamama]

I went to a local parrot supply store in a nearby town.
I mentioned to the store lady we were thinking of a rehome four year old Timneh.
She said, "Well what if you drive all the way there and the bird doesn't like you? Once a bird meets you, it makes a snap judgement, and if it doesn't like you , it will never like you!"

This does not seem to be what I have heard from you all, experienced parrot people. Can you shed some light here? I have heard in several places that African greys are slow to warm up, that you need to earn their trust over time. I've also heard of people taming parrots over time, even birds that have had terrible experiences. I have heard that some birds feel better around one gender over the others. But this lady seemed to be making a summary that doesn't make sense with what I've heard.

So-if a parrot is generally friendly, and is comfortable most with people, especially women, even if she was shy around me at first, she would probably grow to love me, right? I mean, all things being equal with her getting lots of attention and me taking it easy and slow with her. I know she will probably have a hard time missing her mommy, especially at first.

 

[ConureCrazy]

She will adjust to you. My Oliver was so shy at first, now look at him, he's sitting on my shoulder eating a nutriberry (right this second). =) Don't believe what she said. I bet you anything she'll love you just as much as you'll love her.

 

[Devann]

I'm in the process of adopting a 6 year old Alexandrine who certainly does not love me...yet! I have already made progress with her in a couple of visits and am totally confident that with enough time, patience and love we will become best friends.
I'm no expert but birds are SUPER smart, they can tell who the good people are I think
Don't listen to that nasty pet store lady, she was probably just saying that to get you to BUY a bird from her instead.

 

[dishgal1]

Ideally, a bird should pick you........but if he doesn't just absolutely hate you I think he would warm up to you. Sometimes they just don't like you. Timnehs are a little more laid back compared to some others. I think you will know when you meet the bird whether it is doable or not.

 

[jaimmorr]

I've heard a lot of people say that this is pretty much the truth. I think it's wise to let the bird pick you. I went to meet an 8 year old Goffin's Cockatoo and he really liked me as well as my partner. He let BOTH of us pet him, he stepped up for both of us, sat on both of our shoulders, accepted treats from both of us, etc, etc. As soon as we got him home? He wanted absolutely NOTHING to do with my partner. Nothing at all. He won't accept treats or toys from her, won't step up, won't let her pet him, etc. In fact, if he's on the ground he chases and attacks her! Me, on the other hand, he is absolutely in love with.


So it's really all up in the air with birds. I think all you can do is meet the bird, feel the chemistry, and take it day by day. Good luck!

 

[Pookamama]

Uggghhh. It's an eight hour drive. Please tell me there's an excellent chance she'll either like me or my hubby. Maybe we should skype with the bird to see if she likes us.

 

[jaimmorr]

Seriously, if I were you, I'd make the trip. IMO, birds are sooo worth it. If this were a cat, I'd say forget it. Is this an 8 hour trip there and back or only one way? My Ricco was an 8 hour round trip and I'm so glad I got him. I adore him.

 

[Pookamama]

16 hour round trip. Since it's blazing hot we'd have to take the minivan with the AC-a lot more $$$$ than the Geo.
Totally worth it if the bird loves us. But if we get there and the bird hates us-we've spent well over $100 in gas and a day of our life anticipating a beautiful life together and having our dreams smashed in an eight hour car ride of birdless car back. :-(

 

[azdesertrhino]

I think your signature says it all.

"Future owner of an awesome bird"!

Don't let someone else's superstitions decide for you!

If you do not make the trip, you will second guess yourself for a long time!

Best of luck!

 

[Pookamama]

That's totally true, great point. There just isn't a lot of bird availability around here. This bird sounds fabulous. It's worth risking it.
So-when I go meet Miss Gabby-what do I take as 'hesitant' body language and what is "OH HAIL NO!" body language?

 

[Pedro]

That's totally true, great point. There just isn't a lot of bird availability around here. This bird sounds fabulous. It's worth risking it.
So-when I go meet Miss Gabby-what do I take as 'hesitant' body language and what is "OH HAIL NO!" body language?

IMO a relationship built on trust works wonders with rehomes.
I adopted a 4 year SC Too. He is now 10 years old. He wasn't to keen on me when he first came to live with us but over the years he has learned to trust me more & more. I have never regretted giving him a forever home, we get so much joy having him around.

 

[Ginkai]

I once adopted a cockateil who originally hated everyone but after a few months warmed up to me. It's definitely not the end of the world if they hate you at first. Especially with rehomes. At least in my opinion.

 

[lizardsmells]

Kazi didn't like anyone when I adopted him. He tolerated me. Mostly.

He's a big cuddle bug now and loves attention and being a doofus.

I wouldn't worry too much about meeting Gabby and realizing she hates you. Birds don't generally go from 'neutral' to 'hate' for no reason. She'll probably be unsure around you unless she's been really well socialized, but it's pretty doubtful she'll outright hate either one of you.

I'm wondering if the woman at the bird store didn't breed or know of a breeder and was trying to discourage you from adopting so she could try to sell you a baby or something. It just seems like an odd thing to say to a customer. Out of all the parrots I've met there's only one who hates me, and he hates almost all women, so I don't take it personally. However some people still believe that old nonsense about getting a baby so it imprints to you and bonds to you and that it's not possible to have a good bond with a rehomed bird. Which is a load of bull. Adults, as well as babies, are perfectly capable of forming strong, wonderful bonds with people. So she could have been of that persuasion.

 

[DebsFlock]

What if you don't like the bird? That's also a possibility. OTOH, I think even if you get a baby, you don't know for sure that the personality will be what you envisioned. I would not make the drive if it would be devastating to find the bird is really not what you want. If the possibility of it being perfect is worth taking the risk, then I say go for it.

I have a lot more experience shopping for horses than birds, and in that context the "fit" is everything. You spend a lot of time driving and being disappointed. But if it doesn't "feel right" at the start, or there are undisclosed issues (what if you arrive and the bird is naked?) I think it can actually be harder for the human to come around than the critter. That doesn't mean everything is perfect at the first encounter, just that there is chemistry. It was that way when we were looking for a bird for Bill and got Scotty. Unfortunately he turned out to prefer me, but the chemistry was right. Other birds, it just wasn't.

 

[MickeysMom]

You saw my post on Junior....he wouldn't come near me yesterday at his house......this morning he flew to me! Are we besties????, not yet, but with time I think we will be.

Patience to build trust, lots of love and attention will go a long way.....I think it's worth the chance.

 

[SpringCottageParrot]

Sixteen hours driving in one day is a bit tiring even if shared. I'd arrange a stopover at a hotel or bed and breakfast. That will also give you a chance to take some time to get to know the bird. And if you decide not to buy you will at least have had a mini holiday.

 

[NiR]

its possible the bird might not like you but that doesnt mean you guys cant work on it and eventually after a lot of work he will be fine with you. With that said, i think its always better to let the bird choose you from the get go. It makes things a lot easier and also creates a stronger bond.Would hate to see a bird i bring home start liking someone else in my family MORE then me. I want him to be well social but i want them to like me more lol. So just go there and see what you think. Ideal situation would be if they had couple birds and then you can let them choose you.

 

[Pookamama]

Both my husband and I are going so hopefully the bird will like one of us! She is in a home with several older children and she steps up and is friendly to all of them. They've had her since a baby and she's pretty outgoing.

 

[azdesertrhino]

Awesome that y'all are stepping up and out to give this bird an opportunity to have a great life.

I still love the signature!!

 

[WharfRat]

Pook, I say go for it!!! There will be an adjusting time but you already know that. Birds are a fickle lot, but they dang sure know what you feelings are. Dang Zon's worship my wife but it doesn't deter me at all. I've got one "tolerating" me at times but I will NEVER give up. I love my GW's but damnit a Zon was always my 1st choice.