In need of advice or a foster/homer

[Ilovemygrey]

Our members (and I) are responding with as much care and as many resources as we can summon or suggest.

Thank you. That is very kind of you! I really appreciate that.

 

[GaleriaGila]

We're here.

 

[LeslieA]

You took the first step asking. We responded
quickly and offered suggestions for help. (Thanks PF members!) Your step is next as you choose. We cannot force changes only make suggestions and offer opportunities. Although frustrating to many of us, it is completely your choice. Just remember, sometimes we must lose all to gain more.

You requested help for your bird only and were offered ideas as distance and differences allow. You must make the next effort for your bird also.

Good luck. May Allah direct and guide you.

 

[Ilovemygrey]

You took the first step asking. We responded
quickly and offered suggestions for help. (Thanks PF members!) Your step is next as you choose. We cannot force changes only make suggestions and offer opportunities. Although frustrating to many of us, it is completely your choice. Just remember, sometimes we must lose all to gain more.

You requested help for your bird only and were offered ideas as distance and differences allow. You must make the next effort for your bird also.

Good luck. May Allah direct and guide you.

Thank you very much for all the help and responding so quickly!! I know it seems odd that I am not jumping at the chance to safety. But people don't understand the situation I am in or where I am coming from I do have a plan to run away but I was afraid that if something should happen to us, my parrot not be at the mercy of strangers who might hurt her. Hence the plea for foster home for my parrot. I just want to cover all bases.

I need to sell my apartment before we run away. I also need to take into account my mom's age, health, frailty and grief before we embark on this escape. What I mean is I need to find a home immediately after selling mine, so that my mom has a stable place to live in. My brother's final wish was that I take good care of my mom. She is too old for me haul her to an unknown place. She is under a lot of stress and she needs stability and certainty. Do you understand my issues? I can't just up and leave as much as I wish I could do that. I hope you understand May Allah bless you all always and forever. Thank you very much guys.

 

[Amsterdam]

You took the first step asking. We responded
quickly and offered suggestions for help. (Thanks PF members!) Your step is next as you choose. We cannot force changes only make suggestions and offer opportunities. Although frustrating to many of us, it is completely your choice. Just remember, sometimes we must lose all to gain more.

You requested help for your bird only and were offered ideas as distance and differences allow. You must make the next effort for your bird also.

Good luck. May Allah direct and guide you.

Thank you very much for all the help and responding so quickly!! I know it seems odd that I am not jumping at the chance to safety. But people don't understand the situation I am in or where I am coming from I do have a plan to run away but I was afraid that if something should happen to us, my parrot not be at the mercy of strangers who might hurt her. Hence the plea for foster home for my parrot. I just want to cover all bases.

I need to sell my apartment before we run away. I also need to take into account my mom's age, health, frailty and grief before we embark on this escape. What I mean is I need to find a home immediately after selling mine, so that my mom has a stable place to live in. My brother's final wish was that I take good care of my mom. She is too old for me haul her to an unknown place. She is under a lot of stress and she needs stability and certainty. Do you understand my issues? I can't just up and leave as much as I wish I could do that. I hope you understand May Allah bless you all always and forever. Thank you very much guys.

I certaintly do understand your situation like i said earlier they are willing to pick you all up and give you a safe home and thats for you all, one thing i dont understand is that you are saying that you and your family are in danger if i was in danger i woudnt think about selling my house first but thats me. I daily meet people who left theyre homes in order to find peace in a safier place this is just my opinion. Im sure my people can help you sell your house too but thats all up to you i am a PM away if you still need help. And for your mom there is great healthcare for her there but ofcourse its all up to you.

 

[Ilovemygrey]

You took the first step asking. We responded
quickly and offered suggestions for help. (Thanks PF members!) Your step is next as you choose. We cannot force changes only make suggestions and offer opportunities. Although frustrating to many of us, it is completely your choice. Just remember, sometimes we must lose all to gain more.

You requested help for your bird only and were offered ideas as distance and differences allow. You must make the next effort for your bird also.

Good luck. May Allah direct and guide you.

Thank you very much for all the help and responding so quickly!! I know it seems odd that I am not jumping at the chance to safety. But people don't understand the situation I am in or where I am coming from I do have a plan to run away but I was afraid that if something should happen to us, my parrot not be at the mercy of strangers who might hurt her. Hence the plea for foster home for my parrot. I just want to cover all bases.

I need to sell my apartment before we run away. I also need to take into account my mom's age, health, frailty and grief before we embark on this escape. What I mean is I need to find a home immediately after selling mine, so that my mom has a stable place to live in. My brother's final wish was that I take good care of my mom. She is too old for me haul her to an unknown place. She is under a lot of stress and she needs stability and certainty. Do you understand my issues? I can't just up and leave as much as I wish I could do that. I hope you understand May Allah bless you all always and forever. Thank you very much guys.

I certaintly do understand your situation like i said earlier they are willing to pick you all up and give you a safe home and thats for you all, one thing i dont understand is that you are saying that you and your family are in danger if i was in danger i woudnt think about selling my house first but thats me. I daily meet people who left theyre homes in order to find peace in a safier place this is just my opinion. Im sure my people can help you sell your house too but thats all up to you i am a PM away if you still need help. And for your mom there is great healthcare for her there but ofcourse its all up to you.

Amsterdam there are so many issues that I am dealing with that if it wasn't sad it would be funny. O God,if it were up to me I would pack my bags today and get us the hell out of here. But my father got us (me and my brother) fired from our jobs, so we are not rich. We earn our living by by investing in stocks. So we need the cash we can get from selling the apartment. Can you please tell me how long can we stay at the home you mentioned? Do we need to pay rent or share it with someone? If your guys could pleaaaaaase help me sell my place, we could get the hell out of here in a day.

 

[ChristaNL]

Oh dear....I do not think Amsterdam would put you in the hands of people who expect you to pay...
that is why it is called "help" and not "a transaction".

If your lives are in danger: run away!

I know what it feels like to be responsible for your parents health - have you asked your mother what she wants? Sometimes they may surprise you!
She gave you life - I do not think she wants you to die.

 

[Ilovemygrey]

Oh dear....I do not think Amsterdam would put you in the hands of people who expect you to pay...
that is why it is called "help" and not "a transaction".

If your lives are in danger: run away!

I know what it feels like to be responsible for your parents health - have you asked your mother what she wants? Sometimes they may surprise you!
She gave you life - I do not think she wants you to die.

I'll have a long talk with my mom and my brother. Of course not She loves me very much. Thank you very much for your advice.

 

[Billdore]

Amsterdam Real life Super Man!!!

 

[greytness]

Amsterdam, can someone begin by taking on his grey and then working out the rest of the logistics? That seems to be his number one stressor as he prepares to escape.

 

[Amsterdam]

Amsterdam, can someone begin by taking on his grey and then working out the rest of the logistics? That seems to be his number one stressor as he prepares to escape.

From what ive read she wont leave untill her house is sold, she can take the bird with her to the safe haven. Like i said before you will be safe there and these people will also look on what your skills are etc and help you find a job or school for you guys. Keep in mind there are over 100people there with the same problems you are dealing. Again if you are interessted i just pm me your information so i can get our team in Pakistan to help you.

 

[LeslieA]

This sounds very much like a situation currently in my family. I offered and offered and offered. All my offers were turned down. I'll be there when and if she's ready but can't make her leave. Like her, until you're ready to leave, you'll stay.

We made a pact, if either of us dies, we'll keep the birds safe and within the family. We have that luxury. You, like most, don't. When and if you're ready, you'll make the move.

Here, we call it "hitting rock bottom." I just hope you leave before you die, but none of us can make you.

Hopefully, you were able to contact PAWS in Karachi because your bird, at least, should be allowed to move on.

 

[EllenD]

I won't even begin to understand what you are going through, obviously most of us in the US don't and couldn't ever understand the situation over in your part of the world...And unfortunately that means there is little we ourselves can do to actually help you directly, except for offering the support of someone to talk to about it...

HOWEVER, and forgive me for taking the liberty of making this assumption, but it sounds to me like you aren't aware of the sheer number of people in your area that are going through exactly what you and your family are going through. It also sounds to me like Amsterdam, being who he is and what he does with his life, understands perfectly what you and your family have and are going through, he must, after all, his organization already is housing/helping over 100 people be safe and start their lives over. The reality of your situation, though I cannot understand it, is that if you don't leave soon, you'll be killed...you, your brother, and your mother. So the fact that you haven't sold your house, and that your mother is ill and fragile really doesn't matter, as if you're all dead then none of that makes any difference at all. If I'm being blunt, it's because I'm trying to make you see that with all you are going through and all you've already lost, you're still worrying about physical things, money, etc. before thinking about your own life and the lives of your family...

I would imagine that there are tens of hundreds of thousands of people in your area and of your situation who are dying for the opportunity that Amsterdam has offered you, a safe place to live for you, your brother, your elderly mother, and your parrot, good healthcare for your sick mother, jobs for you and your brother, food, basically a new life and a chance to start-over and live again, instead of living like a prisoner waiting to die...Even with our cultural/religious differences I think we can both agree that you, your brother, your mother, and your parrot living and getting to start over, even if you leave physical possession and money behind, is a better option than you all being dead in a month...correct? I'd say jump on the opportunity to live rather than choosing to stay behind due to possessions, property, money, etc. and dying in the process...Again, I won't pretend to understand your situation, but it seems to me that you're extremely lucky to have been given the opportunity that Amsterdam has provided you with, in comparison to the many people in the exact situation you are that have no options at all...I hope you'll choose to live and get yourself and your family to safety, and the start of a new life...

 

[LeslieA]

Again, Amsterdam can only offer. You took a step, he and others responded and stepped, now it is your turn.

EllenD is right, too. But only you can choose the time. Again, your concerns immediately and initially are for your pet bird. Suggestions have been made. The next move is yours. It may seem overwhelming, so let's take these issues a step at a time.

First, thank you for putting your bird as your main concern. As stated many times, the distance in cultures is great. So, take care of your bird by calling various organizations and sanctuaries or even contacting Amsterdam for ideas and additional help with this.

From your responses your apartment sale is next. Your concern for your tangible assets and need of money are understandable. I doubt it will be sold anytime soon if ever, however, I am not familiar with the market or such transactions. Amsterdam is and has offered to help with such. Contact his agency regarding this sale.

Next, your aged mother needing assistance and medical care. She's been offered exceptional medical care also free. Additionally, his Paki agency is offering TIMELY medical care plus safe access to it as well as safe removal from the situation. As you undoubtedly have learned, only you can understand and assist her with her grief.

Next, yourself. No doubt, your mother will do best with your assistance, so I suggest you be at her side always. Not only that, you would be keeping the promise made to your brother.

Amsterdam and his agency seem your best option in each situation. Your next step is allowing him to help in each of these situations. No doubt, he could express your needs and concerns to them.

Take this one step at a time by allowing Amsterdam's agency access to your bird. They MAY even know of a foster situation that would allow you to recover your bird.

 

[buurd]

From your post it's obvious that you have an excellent mastery of the English language. That in itself will grant you a better job than most native English speakers, in Europe, America, or anywhere.

If youre afraid of seeing your mom and brother suffering though an exile of their country, understand that many people have gone through this same thing, fleeing war and persecutions of all kinds.

People -even old women and invalids- are stronger than you think. Mentally and psychologically, as well as physically.

And you have another advantage that you are together. No one is asking you to do anything alone; youve got help on the way. Youre already under a death sentence right now; you all have nothing to lose. You dont want to see your old mother suffer? How do you know her death wont be full of suffering? No suffering she will do, on her way to escape murder, or in getting situated in a new place, would measure her slaughter.


If it's your dad that killed your other brother, I can understand your conflicted feelings, and why you may not be thinking straight, right now. But now is the time to stand up and be a leader.
Your father doesnt OWN you, or your brother, and not your mother, either. He cant just do what he wants to another human being. Eff him and his co-murdering friends!

You are not livestock. Do not act like it. Youve got to shake off whatever guilt, fear, love, whatever the emotions are that are making you hesitate or frozen, and youve got to take action, now, to save your life, and the lives of others.

This is life or death, and if you decide that death is easier to just accept, you need to know that that is failure. You are not just giving up on your past, you are giving up on your future. A future full of potential. Everything that could be, merely from your existence in this world. We are ALL connected in this universe in ways beyond even our comprehension. Who knows who you would help save in the future, through a word, gesture or deed?

A refugee charity can sell what you need sold, in your absence; they are not going to cheat you. The fact that they are allowing you to come along with your BIRD is, in of itself, amazingly compassionate. Do not waste compassion and the help you are offered, for any reason. There is NO reason good enough to justify it.

Now, DO something to save yourself, now.

 

[buurd]

One more thing:

If youre resigned to the fact that your father will hunt you down and kill you, dont be. This thing sounds like some kind of domestic/religious tumult where he feels his honor has been sullied, is that it? Plenty of women have already , or are going through, these type of relocations by refugee help organizations. A lot of these women have to do it totally alone. Some of these women have survived horrible attacks; had acid thrown on them, were burned, etc. Wounds that not only have made them suffer in every conceivable way, but also mark them.

Even in a mostly christian nation, like America, regular women are having to flee in the dead of night from their abusers and potential murderers, with nothing but the clothes on their back. Plenty of them are afraid to leave their abusers for the same reason you are, thinking they'll track them down anyway and kill them. They might have a child, or 5 to save with them. Children who are ill. Their own mothers, who are old and or fragile , that they cant leave behind. Pets that the abuser will almost definitely kill, if left behind. If they can do it, and they do it many times with very little to no help, then you can, too. Good Luck!

 

[Ilovemygrey]

Sorry I couldn't reply. Had an emergency. As a result, my mom was hospitalized

 

[Ilovemygrey]

What if I tell you my mom and brother are stubborn and they would rather die then runaway? Now if it were up to me, I would get the hell out of there today. Damn the apartment! But I cannot abandon them. This could mean death for us but can you tell me how would I live with myself if I abandoned my mom and brother for my safety? I would rather die. Hence the concern for the parrot.

I told the stress counselor in the hospital my plight and she prescribed me an antipsychotic medicine. She did NOT believe me. She was most unhelpful. I then contacted the cops but they don't give a damn either, since I have no evidence.

 

[LeslieA]

What if I tell you my mom and brother are stubborn and they would rather die then runaway? Now if it were up to me, I would get the hell out of there today. Damn the apartment! But I cannot abandon them. This could mean death for us but can you tell me how would I live with myself if I abandoned my mom and brother for my safety? I would rather die. Hence the concern for the parrot.

I told the stress counselor in the hospital my plight and she prescribed me an antipsychotic medicine. She did NOT believe me. She was most unhelpful. I then contacted the cops but they don't give a damn either, since I have no evidence.

May I be so bold as ask which antipsychotic was prescribed as well as dosage and length of prescription?

Two options regarding your bird were suggested. Have or do you intend to contact either? Notice that read BIRD. Let's start there. To repeat them:
1. PAWS headquartered in Karachi;
2. Amsterdam's Paki agency.
If #1 doesn't work out, there's a second option.

Your initial request regarded your pet bird. If you choose neither, the bird's welfare is your choice alone and not the choice of your family.

We answered your request quickly. Now it is your opportunity to respond otherwise this was only a misunderstood cry for individual help and need. You will respond as you seem necessary.

 

[buurd]

What if I tell you my mom and brother are stubborn and they would rather die then runaway? Now if it were up to me, I would get the hell out of there today. Damn the apartment! But I cannot abandon them. This could mean death for us but can you tell me how would I live with myself if I abandoned my mom and brother for my safety? I would rather die. Hence the concern for the parrot.

I told the stress counselor in the hospital my plight and she prescribed me an antipsychotic medicine. She did NOT believe me. She was most unhelpful. I then contacted the cops but they don't give a damn either, since I have no evidence.

You, your mom & your brother are separate individuals, and each hold the responsibility over their own lives, just as you do. You bear no guilt in what THEY decide for themselves. Ultimately, you have to decide what is best for you. Youre not an extension of your mother, brother, father, etc. You are a individual human with the means , thanks to Amsterdam, to make decisions over your own life.

But, listen to LeslieA, and find a proper place to give your bird up, if that is your only wish , right now. Have you contacted these places , yet?