I havent been treating my bird the best way recently and Im not sure if i should re-home him.

[Manosuaa]

Hello, im writing this with a heavy heart but i deserve total hate or anything bad said to me.

I had my bird for two years now and I always had issues with a temper but could control it, but recently I have been dealing with mental health issues which do not excuse me whatsoever.
I think my conure is a little bit special in the dumb way because the place where i bought it from didnt seem like a good place for a bird.

My bird always had problems with connecting but always made very slow progress:
He was always screaming and that really made me mad but I could control myself but recently I have been dealing with said issues and started sometimes slapping the cage because I was literally losing my mind over the screaming.

Two times which i really regret I put my hand in the cage, (he is still partialy afraid of hands) to make him shut up im not sure by the logic behind it.

Ive always been feeding him and giving him toys etc. but havent been spending time etc.
After a breakup i had recently I kind of fell into a state of not doing anything and with the screaming etc. i was going nuts.

Seeing my bird is still partially scared of me because of the stuff ive done, should i rehome him? Ive been working on myself and made progress but have i caused something that i cant ever fix?

Should I start like if i got him new? I feel like ive forgotten everything.
Or should I rehome him? Give him a new home which I of course dont because i love him but im not sure i can fix this.

 

[LaManuka]

Welcome to the forums, @Manosuaa, but I'm sorry for the circumstances you are facing. Let me assure you at the outset however that you will not get any hate here, that is not what this community is about, and if you do receive any please let the mod team know by utilizing the "Report" function at the bottom of the particular post.

From my own perspective, before you consider rehoming I would suggest you do what you yourself have mentioned, and that is start all over as if your bird were brand new. Trust is a huge factor in our relationship with our parrots, and it may take time to rebuild it, but you clearly do love your bird or you wouldn't be here seeking help. Relationships with parrots can sometimes be very emotionally fraught because they are SO intelligent, and it can be challenging sometimes because life gets in the way, as you have experienced. But where there's love there's hope and I believe you can turn things around because you do still care. I hope you can find solace here and some good advice from our members, and you are most welcome here.

 

[DonnaBudgie]

I agree with LaManuka. But if you ultimately decide to rehome him because you are having too much difficulty, don't beat yourself up. It may be the most loving thing you can do.

 

[Macawdamia Nut]

I would recommend not giving up so easily. Just like you would need to work through behavioral issues with a naughty child, you can do this! Perhaps you can work through this difficult patch with an avian behaviorist. Think of it as therapy sessions for you and your bird. There are so many resources out there—whether online or in person—that you owe it to yourself to give it a shot. Carrying guilt around is not healthy for you. Try, try and try again. There is some comfort in knowing you tried hard to save your relationship with your bird. Animals are pretty amazing. They can forgive past mistakes with a bit of love and patience.

 

[Manosuaa]

Welcome to the forums, @Manosuaa, but I'm sorry for the circumstances you are facing. Let me assure you at the outset however that you will not get any hate here, that is not what this community is about, and if you do receive any please let the mod team know by utilizing the "Report" function at the bottom of the particular post.

From my own perspective, before you consider rehoming I would suggest you do what you yourself have mentioned, and that is start all over as if your bird were brand new. Trust is a huge factor in our relationship with our parrots, and it may take time to rebuild it, but you clearly do love your bird or you wouldn't be here seeking help. Relationships with parrots can sometimes be very emotionally fraught because they are SO intelligent, and it can be challenging sometimes because life gets in the way, as you have experienced. But where there's love there's hope and I believe you can turn things around because you do still care. I hope you can find solace here and some good advice from our members, and you are most welcome here.

Thank you so much, and im sorry for the late response i have been very busy:
I think im making some progress and I really want to make it work, ii think what really hurts is that i screwed it up myself and i can see that my bird doesnt trust me thatmuch, but i want to make it work.

 

[wrench13]

I feel for ya! Excessive screaming is the most common reason parrots are rehomed, because its very hard to modify behavior like that. Once all the outward causes and triggers have been examined and addressed (ie hormones, environmental, etc) some parrots have developed a behavioral habit of it. One can try to adjust that habit by rewarding the silent times and ignoring the loud ones! My own parrot Salty has lately started a screaming bout right around 5 PM, when dinner prep starts and trust me Amazon screaming takes on a whole new meaning. It actually does not bother me but it drives my wife CRAZY! So I got her a set of noise cancelling headphones, ones used when going to a rifle range. They work GREAT! Now, instead of her screaming right back at him to SHUT UP!!, she can ignore the screams, which is what you need to do, and go on about her work. I highly suspect this new vocal assault is due to an elevated mating season response, meaning hormones, and that he will revert back to his more calm demeanor once the season is over, but by not reacting to these screams, we assure that he will not pick up something that will become a habit.