How to gain trust after trust isn't deserved

[gillylover]

Hello!

I am new here, and am in need of major advice... I recently added an African Grey to my household. This is my first time experiencing a parrot in my home. His name is Gilly, and he is most certainly a very special bird. His previous owners majorly abused this poor bird. Dogs would terrorize him, and he was locked in a dark bathroom, and left to die. He was rescued by a wonderful lady named Vikki. When Vikki found Gilly, he had ripped out all of his feathers, and even started ripping off his own skin. After three years of working with Gilly, he grew most of his feathers back, and gained a small amount of trust for Vikki. After unforeseen circumstances, Vikki had no choice but to rehome Gilly. Thats where I came in. I promised to care for this bird, not just for my sake, but for Vikki's sake, and most importantly, Gilly's sake.

Now Gilly is completely terrified. He moved to a completely new part of the state, in a new home, and is experiencing new people. I understand why he wouldn't have any trust in me, after what has happened to him in the past. Every time I approach him, he starts to shiver. His feathers ruffle up, and he opens up his beak, as if to say: Please just stay away... I only had him for a night so far, but he hasn't moved from the corner of his cage, he hasn't eaten any food, or drank any water.

I need ANY sort of advice that could help this bird, and help Gilly gain trust for me. I don't deserve his trust after what the last scumbag humans have done to him, but I hope after time, I can gain his trust, and compassion, and his love.

 

[SandyBee]

Poor Gilly, what a sad story.

Make sure he is in a quiet spot, when approaching him move slowly and talk gently.
Did Vikki mention any treats he really likes? Come bearing gifts.
He may eat and drink and move a little when your not watching, so make sure he has some private time. He has been through so much and moving is stressful too.

Good Luck

 

[Grinder]

Good for you for taking in Gilly. SandyBee is definitely right. Also, remember that even parrots that weren't abused can take a while getting used to their new homes - from days to months and for some even years. You're already off to a good start in that you are doing this for Gilly's sake. So give him his time and space. Talk to him. Read a book to him. Let him respond on his own terms. Hopefully Vikki is around to give you some tips on his favorite toys, treats and past times.

I think this could be a long road for both of you, but one that will be very rewarding.

 

[94lt1]

Hello....I have had a similar experience except with a scarlet macaw.. Monte . He had cigarettes thrown at him, people spit at him, sprayed him with water hoses and hit him at his last owners house..

I just found this out from a person who knew them.....I knew he was neglected, he plucked, he is very aggressive. .


My tip for you is..little baby steps...start sitting near the bird and talking calmly to it...but watch the birds actions... he'll let you know when he's had enough...give him personal space for a while...I mean like sit 4-6 feet from him...

When you talk, smile, avoid sudden .movements and your head moving quickly...
.a normal bird takes time to acclimate.. an abused bird, and a bird that's been moved around a lot take a lot of extra work...BUT THEY'RE SO WORTH IT!!

Don't give up on him, and once you're friends, he's still possibly going to have his days where he's going to test you...my macaw has almost broken my finger biting me on more than one occasion...I don't blame him..

Be sure to try to offer him fresh fruit and veggies.. sharing a meal can be a bonding experience...

You know the foods to avoid right??? If not, make sure you find out...and good luck...you guys will be friends before you know it

 

[sodakat]

Something else you can do that might make Gilly more comfortable is to cover the back of his cage with a blanket, pulling it about 1/4 way forward so the sides are covered a bit too. This will give him a "safe" place to sit where nothing can scare him from the side or back.

I would not handle him at all for a long time. Just service his cage. Let him decide when he's ready to come out or make friends. With older birds, usually once they figure out you're okay they make the first move.

I bought Jackie as an adult of unknown age 2 years ago next month. He had lived in an aviary with other birds but was not a pet. I just let him live here with no demands made on him at all. I do have a separate bird room where all my cages are located, so he was able to come out of and go into cages whenever he wanted and could have as much contact with my other Eclectus as he wanted. My bird room connects to my living room so we see and talk to each other all the time. But as far as me asking him to step up, etc., I didn't.

When I gave the others treats I handed him a treat too. He always took it nicely.

About 6 months after he arrived he flew to me! He was so excited and I was so excited. He decided we should be friends.

Unfortunately he likes me better than Lucy, who I hoped he would fall for. But he's a laid back, easy going fellow now and you'd never know he was ever unsure of people.

 

[HalfInsane]

Some people...

Just a couple thoughts in addition to what others have said. Definitely talk to to him, and when you do it is a good idea to keep your body turned sideways to him, especially your face. Reason being that predatory animals stare straight ahead, prey animals like parrots stare at things from the side. Also, birds when relaxed will take long, slow blinks; mimic this behaviour.

When speaking to him, changing his cage etc, focus on your own energy. You need to be calm. It's easy to find yourself tense even if you don't mean to be, because you're worried how he's going to react... Well, he can sense that tension and it is going to make him tense. So before approaching him, take time to calm your self. Slow your breathing. Make your movements slow and deliberate. Birds are incredible at picking up on your mood and body language, so always be mindful of this.

 

[antoinette]

[FONT=&quot]Gilly has had a very sad unsettled life.... glad you have taken him in.
Hisnew happy safe life is just beginning.

[/FONT] [FONT=&quot][FONT=&quot]You have to start from the very beginning
[/FONT]Gilly must have time to settle down and adjust. Just imagine how many new things he has encountered, in such a short time. So many new faces and voices, it must be so scary.
To gain your trust could take days, weeks, months even years. Each and every bird is so different. He obviously feels a comfort zone is his cage.
Sit near the cage, talking and singing to the bird. Let him become familiar with your voice. Leaving the cage door open, offer him treats through the bars at first. When he willingly accepts them, try placing a treat near the open door. Eventually he will starts taking the treats from the door, make no attempt to touch him. When he does come out, he will probably climb around on the cage. Let him explore in his own time. To get him back in, place a treat inside the cage, making sure it's visible.
Gilly will let you know when he is ready to move on.

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