How can i make my cockatiel not see me as a mate?

[Phoenixcockatiel]

Hello,

I have two tiels, a male and a female, of which the male is very fixated on me and I think he sees himself as a human rather than a bird.

I can't say if he was hand-raised, as I didn't get him from a breeder, but I assume so.

Now I have the problem that I essentially have two single birds: the female is lonely, and the male screams because he doesn't accept her as a member of his own species. I'm also trying not to trigger his hormones, don't stroke his back, don't let him sing to my feet, etc., but that doesn't help.

I read here that I should get another pair of tiels, to teach him how to be a bird, which I'd considered, but isn't possible at the moment. Now I'm considering giving the female to someone who has a large aviary where she can be happy, and pairing the male with a mate. I know of something like "Papaveo," which does this for Amazons. You put the bird into a flock and let it choose a partner, then you take both home.

Would this work for my tiel, too, even though he's actually fixated on humans? And do you know where I can do something like that? Or is there anything else I can do?

Thanks in advance.

 

[DonnaBudgie]

Do you want your cockatiels to breed?

 

[Phoenixcockatiel]

Not neccessarily, but I would love them to see each other as mates so they dont get fixated on me because I feel that is unnatural and frustrating

 

[DonnaBudgie]

If I were you I would avoid having your cockatiels breed. Birds that are breeding sometimes don't stop breeding when you want them to. I have budgies that wouldn't stop breeding once they started and I had to separate the pair permanently. When that happens you can't keep your pets together!

I don't know how you can discourage him from looking at you as his mate and I'm not sure you should try to shift his attention to the female because then you may get a breeding problem thats not easily solved.

 

[Phoenixcockatiel]

I've edited my question so it has more detail, I'm not planning on actually having babies since I won't hang a nesting box in their cage anyways.
I just don't want him to be hormonal towards me, be aggressive and cling to me at all times, since I think it build up plenty of frustration and stress for him.

 

[DonnaBudgie]

It sounds like your male is hand raised. Some hand raised birds do not accept "being birds" and won't accept a bird for a mate or a friend. Sometimes it just takes more time and the right mate/friend.

My hand raised female budgie, Rocky, is now 2 1/2 and it took her about 18 months to accept a male, Beau, as her mate/friend and cagemate. She doesn't like my other budgies and keeps to Beau, and my husband and myself. I have another budgie I hand raised, a male, Tiki, and he integrated into my small flock quickly. Maybe your male just doesn't like the female that you have. Maybe he would prefer another male as a friend. Rocky doesn't like any other males and definitely doesn't care for other females.

A lot of people would be very happy to have their cockatiel so fixated on them vs other tiels. I had a male cockatiel Charlie, that was hand raised and he was very bonded to me and my husband and people in general and that's what made him such a joy to have. I did not detect any real frustration with Charlie.

If you succeed in getting a female that your male likes and bonds with, even if you don't provide a nest box dealing with the problems of birds that want to breed is not fun. She may lay eggs right in the cage and it's difficult to stop if you keep the birds together, even in the same room separate cages. Birds get hormonal and if you don't want babies it's better if he's hormonal toward you than a female. Either way there will be frustration because you don't plan on letting them breed.

I hope this helps. Most bird owners have to deal with hormonal birds. This forum is full of posts lately talking about how hormonal everyone's birds have been this year's breeding season. A lot of parrots bite, or even attack their owners when they're hormonal. Very few of us think the solution is to get them a mate that they accept.

 

[DonnaBudgie]

I looked up Papaveo but I couldn't find enough information in English to read about it. Something in German about giving Amazon parrots a better life.

 

[Phoenixcockatiel]

Thank you for the detailed answer. I'm from germany, so I asked this question in a german cockatiel forum and translated it to get more input here - "Papaveo" is an organisation where you can bring your amazon parrot and they'll find a mate for it and make sure they are bonded. The owners can then get both birds as a pair.
Organisations like this are important for us since it is illegal to have a single big parrot, they need to be legally kept in pairs.

That is where my problems are starting as well, german cockatiel owners strongly believe in companionship of birds with each other, hand raising is strongly discouraged and keeping a single parrot is practically the worst you can do integrieren eyes.

When I posted the same question in a german forum, I got the answer to get more birds so he'll learn how to be a cocktatiel. Since I can't do that due to my current situation, I got the advice to rehome him to someone who has more cockatiels so he has the chance to learn how to interact with birds.
Of course I want the best for my birds, but at the moment I'm searching for other options since rejoining is always a last resort.

 

[DonnaBudgie]

I get it. No wonder I wasn't sure what you were talking about. Different countries do things differently. There isn't any equivalent to Papaveo here in the US.

 

[DonnaBudgie]

Germany seems to look at parrot ownership completely opposite of how America does. Americans want hand raised parrots and seldom keep them in species pairs. I'm curious about Papaveo and it's goal of letting Amazon parrots pair up and letting people take the pair home. Are the pairs that form male/female? What are the owners of the pair supposed to do if the pair wants to breed? Are they supposed to let the pair nest and raise babies? If so, and hand raising is discouraged in Germany, what are they supposed to do with the babies?
What if an Amazon doesn't get along with any other bird?

 

[Phoenixcockatiel]

It really is completely different! In germany, you have to register any parrot bigger than a cockatiel legally and keeping them alone is forbidden. If somebody finds out that you own a single cockatoo, for example, they can even take him away from you is you refuse to adopt a second one.

People hate hand raising because they see it as unnatural, many argue the birds lack important "bird skills" and can't properly communicate with each other down the line. Here, the common understanding is that parrots are supposed to live their own live and not be dependent on their human. - My cockatiel was hand raised but I rescued him, still people tend to look down on you if you have hand raised parrots because they think you're too lazy to properly tame a bird and earn its trust and can't handle the parrot living its own live, potentially not being attached to you.

With organizations like Papaveo, you can bring your Amazon parrot, for example after its partner died or if you had it on its own before. The people there have other amazon parrots, all rescues, that need a home anyway. They then put them in special aviary's, where the bird can see but not interact and slowly introduce potential partners. Usually a pair forms quickly and they their own avary, so they can see if the bond is strong enough. Usually it's a male and a female, sometimes two females or males bind as well, but it's rare. I have not heard of any cases of an unpairable amazon, but some are aggressive or skittish so the process can take a loping time.
However, the owners usually report it being the best decision since the birds are more calm and happy.

The birds live in the same avary back at home (by the way, those "flight cages" some US-people use, are illegal for such big birds in germany, it is legally required to have an indoor or outdoor avary of a certain size). But they don't get those nesting boxes that breeders use. Using the techniques you guys use as well to regulate hormones such as enough sleep, healthy and not too fatty diets etc. usually the pairs don't breed. If you want to breed them, you need a state license as well. So there's by far more regulations here, which in a way I think is good to protect the animals, but it's also complicated and doesn't really look at individual situations.

 

[DonnaBudgie]

I appreciate that Germans view parrot ownership so differently but you may not be able to change your male cockatiel's affection toward you and trying may make him more frustrated and unhappy. Aside from the societal disapproval, is it really so awful having a bird that is so bonded to you? An avian companion like him can be such a joy. Why not just embrace it?
For her wellbeing, your female should probably be rehomed with someone who has several cockatiels.

 

[Phoenixcockatiel]

You're right, I don't think theres a way I can ever change him - and I accept him just the way he is. As for Zoey (the female) , I might get her another mate, one thats not tame, so she isn't lonely anymore. Do you think that would work?

 

[Phoenixcockatiel]

I think I've found a solution - I'll take another male and a female- both not hnd raised. This way, no bird has to be alone, another male can help him understand himself better and I get to have 4 fluffballs

 

[DonnaBudgie]

Either plan sounds reasonable. If you get two more cockatiels, I would just be prepared for your male to not be very interested in either the new male or the new female. I think the worst thing that can happen is that your femĺale will be thrilled yo have two normal new friends and your male will continue to prefer you.