Help me love my cockatiels

[Terry57]

Awww Leah, he is beautiful! He looks like he is doing great today. I am so happy for you!!!
are you feeling any better about things now?

 

[Leah00]

Yes, I think I am. At least for now. Hopefully I can keep myself patient with the taming. I think maybe that's my problem. Everyone has their strengths and weaknesses and one of my weaknesses is that I'm not patient enough to tame a completely untamed bird. I'm worried I'll get frustrated and quit.
When I got my baby green cheek, he was already tame so we bonded real quick. Then when he went through his "terrible twos" it was easier for me to be patient because I was already in love with him.
I guess it's kind of like children. Lol. Other people's kids get on my nerves but I think mine are angels!

He did really good today though. We did step ups for awhile and then my husband and kids came home and everyone got a chance to hold him. He didn't really seem to mind getting passed around. He sat on my shoulder for a little bit too. He even crawled around a little bit on the play gym thing.
At one point he started preening himself while he was sitting on my hand. I took that as a good sign!

I think tomorrow I might try to get the female out. I don't know why she makes me nervous. I get the feeling that she's a little more anxious than the male.

 

[Terry57]

She may be just as easy as he has been to deal with once she is out. Now that she has seen you interacting with him, it may be easier as well.
You have made such great progress with him already, I think it is only going to get better from here on out. There will be setbacks, I'm sure, but I have faith in you

 

[Nakiska]

First off...he is ADORABLE!!! What's NOT to love about him?? I can't wait to see "Her" too!

A little over 2 years ago, I rescued 2 cockatiels also...apparently a brother and sister...they were horribly neglected and abused, one of the worst cases I've personally seen. My heart broke for what those poor babies had been through...being screamed at, their cage being whacked with a broom or mop handle, cage never being cleaned, being fed...sparingly at that, only some cheapo grocery store seed, no toys, and only 1 piece of dowling fed through the cage square from one side to the next for their perch...that they had to balance on, for it would roll and was small...1/4" dowling. The cage was huge...which was the only good thing they had...the boyfriend in the relationship that went sour, got so mad at the birds he moved the cage outside in the weather...told me he was hoping they'd die out there...and if I didn't take them, he was going to release them.

They were delivered to me, put in the back of a pick-up truck, in this cage, that stunk so bad I could smell them coming and their screaming when he turned into our neighborhood....I will never forget it.

Their water dish was nothing but green slime on the bottom and there were maggots burrowed under the 3+ inches of crap and seed hulls...absolutely disgusting!

Of course they weren't hand tame at all, they were soo terrified. I took pictures so I could justify to my husband...exactly WHY I had to take them.

Then I went to work. As quickly as possible I toweled them and put them in a box...so I could properly clean and sanitize their cage and dishes, got the cage moved into the house to a quarantine room, scrounged up various size and shaped perches, branches, toys, filled their dishes with food and clean water and when all was set up "perfect" released them back into their cage.

By this time, hubby had come home from work and grabbed himself a plate of dinner and set himself in a chair right next to their cage to eat.

At first they were like..whoa! What happened??? Then they saw food and went right to eat, they were starving! I'll never forget them...reaching into their dish to eat, look up and my husband and I...almost saying THANK YOU!!!

By now it was pretty late, I left them on a night light and we all went to bed.

The next day, I'd go in and check on them...at the sight of a human, they'd flap uncontrollably in their cage and scream and get to the back and sit there trembling and it was months before I could reach into their cage to change water or fill food without a severe over reaction.

Just over 2 years later, Charlie and Sweetpea have changed soo much! They are still terrified of hands, but Charlie has and is still building a very extensive vocabulary of words and songs, neither of them take off screaming to the back of their cage in fear, they flock call to me when I get home or come out of a room, they crave attention...just not touching attention. I open their cage door for playtime every day and they come out, fly, preen, play, forage for treats and Charlie sings and talks...to his foot! It's sooo freaking adorable!

When I need to put them back I have a special perch they step up on, for they will still run from hands...but happily hop up on the perch, where I can hold them in front of me and talk to them and put them in their cage.

Noo...it's not the cuddle, snuggle relationship that some people have with their tiels...but it's a quality relationship...none the less.

Oh trust me, we're taking it slow...super slowwwww...super duper sloooowwwww....but we still make progress. Maybe some day one or both of them will hop up on my finger, hang out on my shoulder and preen my hair...and maybe someday..they won't. I don't much care because seeing them both happy, healthy and for the most part...confident and unafraid in their environment make me well with pride!

Talk to your boy...talk to him a lot, sing to him and whistle tunes to him, you might be amazed at how much he learns.

Charlie's vocabulary consists of "Hello Charlie, What'cha doing? Him a good boy? Kiss, Kiss, Kiss...complete with 3 kissing sounds...I love you! Sucha Pretty! He wolf whistles and whistles "If you're happy and you know it clap your hands" And then he makes a kissing sound for the "clap" at the end... and more!

I do understand your frustration and feeling like you have to "settle" with these tiels...when you feel you really wanted something else. I was there once myself, I wanted an Amazon or African Grey sooo bad for their talking ability. And I had taken on the responsibility of 4 cockatiels, a green cheek conure, and a pigeon instead.

Both my male tiels have developed a wonderful vocabulary and our Green Cheek is picking up many words too! I finally accepted what I had and vowed to teach them all I can, love them with all my heart and give them the best life I know how.

It's totally working for me and it's evident...that it's working for them too!

We humans are touchy/feely/kissy/huggie/snuggle, scratch and nuzzle and believe THAT is bonding, but Charlie and Sweet Pea have taught me that there is more to a positive bonding relationship then that. Much more! You'll see...open yourself up to learning from your tiels as well as teaching when you can.

Good Luck and keep up the good work! Sound's like you are making fast headway to me!

Toni

 

[Maria_Metropolis]

Awww, your tiel's picture is so adorable, and thank you for taking them on. I have a tiel, and he is the cuddliest and more adorable creature in the whole world (I'm biasted, LOL!). They can be very affectionate, although some may not be, but it's a matter of their personality and working with them. Good luck!!

 

[MikeyTN]

I take it that he was tamed at one point to react like that so quick. The female might be the same way but they can be quite untrusting once paired up. Since you have the male out and about now, it might be easy for you to see if she would just come out on her own since her mate is out and about. Good job though!!!

 

[BirdyMomma]

I love the photo. He is a beautiful little baby.

 

[DallyTsuka]

looking like you are making great progress!! he is a handsome fellow!

 

[faeryphoebe1]

First off...he is ADORABLE!!! What's NOT to love about him?? I can't wait to see "Her" too!

A little over 2 years ago, I rescued 2 cockatiels also...apparently a brother and sister...they were horribly neglected and abused, one of the worst cases I've personally seen. My heart broke for what those poor babies had been through...being screamed at, their cage being whacked with a broom or mop handle, cage never being cleaned, being fed...sparingly at that, only some cheapo grocery store seed, no toys, and only 1 piece of dowling fed through the cage square from one side to the next for their perch...that they had to balance on, for it would roll and was small...1/4" dowling. The cage was huge...which was the only good thing they had...the boyfriend in the relationship that went sour, got so mad at the birds he moved the cage outside in the weather...told me he was hoping they'd die out there...and if I didn't take them, he was going to release them.

They were delivered to me, put in the back of a pick-up truck, in this cage, that stunk so bad I could smell them coming and their screaming when he turned into our neighborhood....I will never forget it.

Their water dish was nothing but green slime on the bottom and there were maggots burrowed under the 3+ inches of crap and seed hulls...absolutely disgusting!

Of course they weren't hand tame at all, they were soo terrified. I took pictures so I could justify to my husband...exactly WHY I had to take them.

Then I went to work. As quickly as possible I toweled them and put them in a box...so I could properly clean and sanitize their cage and dishes, got the cage moved into the house to a quarantine room, scrounged up various size and shaped perches, branches, toys, filled their dishes with food and clean water and when all was set up "perfect" released them back into their cage.

By this time, hubby had come home from work and grabbed himself a plate of dinner and set himself in a chair right next to their cage to eat.

At first they were like..whoa! What happened??? Then they saw food and went right to eat, they were starving! I'll never forget them...reaching into their dish to eat, look up and my husband and I...almost saying THANK YOU!!!

By now it was pretty late, I left them on a night light and we all went to bed.

The next day, I'd go in and check on them...at the sight of a human, they'd flap uncontrollably in their cage and scream and get to the back and sit there trembling and it was months before I could reach into their cage to change water or fill food without a severe over reaction.

Just over 2 years later, Charlie and Sweetpea have changed soo much! They are still terrified of hands, but Charlie has and is still building a very extensive vocabulary of words and songs, neither of them take off screaming to the back of their cage in fear, they flock call to me when I get home or come out of a room, they crave attention...just not touching attention. I open their cage door for playtime every day and they come out, fly, preen, play, forage for treats and Charlie sings and talks...to his foot! It's sooo freaking adorable!

When I need to put them back I have a special perch they step up on, for they will still run from hands...but happily hop up on the perch, where I can hold them in front of me and talk to them and put them in their cage.

Noo...it's not the cuddle, snuggle relationship that some people have with their tiels...but it's a quality relationship...none the less.

Oh trust me, we're taking it slow...super slowwwww...super duper sloooowwwww....but we still make progress. Maybe some day one or both of them will hop up on my finger, hang out on my shoulder and preen my hair...and maybe someday..they won't. I don't much care because seeing them both happy, healthy and for the most part...confident and unafraid in their environment make me well with pride!

Talk to your boy...talk to him a lot, sing to him and whistle tunes to him, you might be amazed at how much he learns.

Charlie's vocabulary consists of "Hello Charlie, What'cha doing? Him a good boy? Kiss, Kiss, Kiss...complete with 3 kissing sounds...I love you! Sucha Pretty! He wolf whistles and whistles "If you're happy and you know it clap your hands" And then he makes a kissing sound for the "clap" at the end... and more!

I do understand your frustration and feeling like you have to "settle" with these tiels...when you feel you really wanted something else. I was there once myself, I wanted an Amazon or African Grey sooo bad for their talking ability. And I had taken on the responsibility of 4 cockatiels, a green cheek conure, and a pigeon instead.

Both my male tiels have developed a wonderful vocabulary and our Green Cheek is picking up many words too! I finally accepted what I had and vowed to teach them all I can, love them with all my heart and give them the best life I know how.

It's totally working for me and it's evident...that it's working for them too!

We humans are touchy/feely/kissy/huggie/snuggle, scratch and nuzzle and believe THAT is bonding, but Charlie and Sweet Pea have taught me that there is more to a positive bonding relationship then that. Much more! You'll see...open yourself up to learning from your tiels as well as teaching when you can.

Good Luck and keep up the good work! Sound's like you are making fast headway to me!

Toni

What an incredible savior you've become to those Tiels, Toni. They sound like smart, grateful, happy birdies.

Leah, you're doing great. That little boy is beautiful!

 

[Leah00]

Thanks everyone!

I did end up trying with the girl last night. It was not good. I'm definitely going to have to take a MUCH different, slower approach with her. I toweled her and brought her into the bedroom but she did not calm down like he did. I put her on the bed and she just sat there crouched down with her wings half open. She wouldn't even stand up. I tried to slip my hand under her but she would not step up at all. The scary part was that she never even tried to bite me, just sat there crouched down looking terrified. I removed my hand and just sat there talking to her but nothing changed. Then she flew up and crashed into the wall. So after that I called it quits and put her back in the cage where she sat panting for a little bit before she calmed down.

 

[Anansi]

Hi, Leah. That position you described is the body language warning you that she felt threatened and was ready to attack. The fact that she didn't back up her implied threat is a good thing, but the trust process was likely set back a few steps.

You can regain her trust of course, but in my experience that trust can only be earned. Not imposed. What I mean to say here is that I think you should completely abandon the towel technique. Bribery works so much better! Lol!

Offer her treats from your hand. She might refuse the first time or two. She might even refuse the first fifty times. But be persistent. And, above all, be patient. Accept that it will take as long as it takes. Rushing things often works against you.

Baby steps, Leah. She'll get there.

 

[Leah00]

I should do all the treat offering and such inside the cage? They won't voluntarily come out.

Thanks for the advice!

 

[MikeyTN]

Hi, Leah. That position you described is the body language warning you that she felt threatened and was ready to attack. The fact that she didn't back up her implied threat is a good thing, but the trust process was likely set back a few steps.

You can regain her trust of course, but in my experience that trust can only be earned. Not imposed. What I mean to say here is that I think you should completely abandon the towel technique. Bribery works so much better! Lol!

Offer her treats from your hand. She might refuse the first time or two. She might even refuse the first fifty times. But be persistent. And, above all, be patient. Accept that it will take as long as it takes. Rushing things often works against you.

Baby steps, Leah. She'll get there.

Actually when tiels freak out they do the froze stance type of thing where they won't bite, attack, or whatever. An attacking position is when they sway left and right and jump towards you to attack. She's gonna be a hard case to cure that problem.

 

[Anansi]

You are most welcome, Leah. And yes, I would definitely do the treat offering inside the cage. If putting your hand inside the cage makes her very uncomfortable, just offer the treat between the bars. You want to avoid, as much as possible, imposing your will on her. It has to be her idea to come to you.

@MikeyTN: I've always known that position to be a defensive one that could lead to a bite, as opposed to the more aggressive one that you were describing with the swaying and pouncing. But either way, you're right. It will be a difficult problem to overcome.

 

[MikeyTN]

I've had many tiels through out the years of raising them. It surprised me at first too when they just froze in position and won't move. Best thing to do when they do that is to leave them be.

 

[Tangie]

Hello Leah!

It will definitely take some time for your cockatiels to get used to everything. It is a new home, new people, new everything. It seems that they weren't properly socialized with before you got them, so it will probably take longer.

In July I got my five year old cockatiel, Kiko. For months he was so grumpy because he was 'old', so they never brought him out of his cage. He only had a mirror and a cage. Since he was so lonely he was overly bonded to the mirror and he hated hands and didn't trust anyone. After bringing him home, and keeping him for a month without any progress, I was feeling down in the dumps. I did everything, sitting by his cage every chance I could get. He did like me attention, though! Even if he didn't really show it. Every time I made an advance, he would lunge and bite me. Earlier this month he made an incredible breakthrough, I had the flu and since the rest of my family is scared of him, I couldn't force him out or spend time with him. So, when I got better and opened the door and waited, he came out by himself. Now he comes out every chance he can get, and likes sitting next to me; as long as I don't touch him. He still hates hands, but as long as I make no advances he is fine. I can even offer him a pellet and a tiny piece of broccoli without him trying to take my fingers off. He still needs a toooon of work, and even if he won't step up on my hand{sometimes my arm if he is away from his cage}, or let me cuddle and touch him...I love him. He is one of my most favorite pet's I have ever had. I liked him to some extent when I first got him, but when he made no progress I was worn down and had no hope. But they will come around if you offer them love, and I'm pretty sure that you will end up loving them too, after putting in so much work.

 

[lisascannell]

First off...he is ADORABLE!!! What's NOT to love about him?? I can't wait to see "Her" too!

A little over 2 years ago, I rescued 2 cockatiels also...apparently a brother and sister...they were horribly neglected and abused, one of the worst cases I've personally seen. My heart broke for what those poor babies had been through...being screamed at, their cage being whacked with a broom or mop handle, cage never being cleaned, being fed...sparingly at that, only some cheapo grocery store seed, no toys, and only 1 piece of dowling fed through the cage square from one side to the next for their perch...that they had to balance on, for it would roll and was small...1/4" dowling. The cage was huge...which was the only good thing they had...the boyfriend in the relationship that went sour, got so mad at the birds he moved the cage outside in the weather...told me he was hoping they'd die out there...and if I didn't take them, he was going to release them.

They were delivered to me, put in the back of a pick-up truck, in this cage, that stunk so bad I could smell them coming and their screaming when he turned into our neighborhood....I will never forget it.

Their water dish was nothing but green slime on the bottom and there were maggots burrowed under the 3+ inches of crap and seed hulls...absolutely disgusting!

Of course they weren't hand tame at all, they were soo terrified. I took pictures so I could justify to my husband...exactly WHY I had to take them.

Then I went to work. As quickly as possible I toweled them and put them in a box...so I could properly clean and sanitize their cage and dishes, got the cage moved into the house to a quarantine room, scrounged up various size and shaped perches, branches, toys, filled their dishes with food and clean water and when all was set up "perfect" released them back into their cage.

By this time, hubby had come home from work and grabbed himself a plate of dinner and set himself in a chair right next to their cage to eat.

At first they were like..whoa! What happened??? Then they saw food and went right to eat, they were starving! I'll never forget them...reaching into their dish to eat, look up and my husband and I...almost saying THANK YOU!!!

By now it was pretty late, I left them on a night light and we all went to bed.

The next day, I'd go in and check on them...at the sight of a human, they'd flap uncontrollably in their cage and scream and get to the back and sit there trembling and it was months before I could reach into their cage to change water or fill food without a severe over reaction.

Just over 2 years later, Charlie and Sweetpea have changed soo much! They are still terrified of hands, but Charlie has and is still building a very extensive vocabulary of words and songs, neither of them take off screaming to the back of their cage in fear, they flock call to me when I get home or come out of a room, they crave attention...just not touching attention. I open their cage door for playtime every day and they come out, fly, preen, play, forage for treats and Charlie sings and talks...to his foot! It's sooo freaking adorable!

When I need to put them back I have a special perch they step up on, for they will still run from hands...but happily hop up on the perch, where I can hold them in front of me and talk to them and put them in their cage.

Noo...it's not the cuddle, snuggle relationship that some people have with their tiels...but it's a quality relationship...none the less.

Oh trust me, we're taking it slow...super slowwwww...super duper sloooowwwww....but we still make progress. Maybe some day one or both of them will hop up on my finger, hang out on my shoulder and preen my hair...and maybe someday..they won't. I don't much care because seeing them both happy, healthy and for the most part...confident and unafraid in their environment make me well with pride!

Talk to your boy...talk to him a lot, sing to him and whistle tunes to him, you might be amazed at how much he learns.

Charlie's vocabulary consists of "Hello Charlie, What'cha doing? Him a good boy? Kiss, Kiss, Kiss...complete with 3 kissing sounds...I love you! Sucha Pretty! He wolf whistles and whistles "If you're happy and you know it clap your hands" And then he makes a kissing sound for the "clap" at the end... and more!

I do understand your frustration and feeling like you have to "settle" with these tiels...when you feel you really wanted something else. I was there once myself, I wanted an Amazon or African Grey sooo bad for their talking ability. And I had taken on the responsibility of 4 cockatiels, a green cheek conure, and a pigeon instead.

Both my male tiels have developed a wonderful vocabulary and our Green Cheek is picking up many words too! I finally accepted what I had and vowed to teach them all I can, love them with all my heart and give them the best life I know how.

It's totally working for me and it's evident...that it's working for them too!

We humans are touchy/feely/kissy/huggie/snuggle, scratch and nuzzle and believe THAT is bonding, but Charlie and Sweet Pea have taught me that there is more to a positive bonding relationship then that. Much more! You'll see...open yourself up to learning from your tiels as well as teaching when you can.

Good Luck and keep up the good work! Sound's like you are making fast headway to me!

Toni

You are an awesome, inspiring person!

 

[cassiepengo]

so, any progress?

 

[Leah00]

Everything is about the same. Still been working with the male. I'm going to have to start working to get him to come out of the cage voluntarily. He's fine when he's out and does step up pretty well and seems much more comfortable but I don't like having to towel him and pull him out of the cage. So it seems like I'll probably end up taking some steps back.

We did have something weird happen. My younger brother, who is 16 and lives with our mom across town, is spending the long weekend with us. Almost as soon as he walked through the door BOTH birds started calling to him. At first I thought they were scared of him but they were both following him around the cage and seemed excited/happy to see him. They are normally very quiet birds.
How good is a bird's memory? Do you think my brother reminds them of a former (nice) owner?

My brother just ate it up! Lol. He spent all afternoon talking to them and whistling to them. The little stinkers were whistling back too! They have never whistled back at me!

 

[Terry57]

I think that birds have amazing memories. My daughter is about the same age and coloring as the girl we got our conure from, and Phoe absolutely loves her!
I would take advantage of him being there with you and see if he can get them to come out of the cage on their own.