Good Night, Sweet Kiks

[BoomBoom]

Kiki is my yellow-green parakeet. He passed away tonight 5/19/18 at around 9:45 PM. It was sudden and unexpected. I heard a thud in their cage and found him slumped on the grate floor. He was already limp and lifeless when I picked him up. I suspect it was a heart attack but he was so healthy and playful even up to the end. I'm confused and mourning. I am posting this here as a remembrance.

You left us much too soon, Kiki. I will miss your chirps. I will miss you visiting me while I play on the computer. Or when I'm washing dishes. I will miss you visiting Boomer when he's eating dinner Or how much you'd annoy him some times when all you really wanted to do was be friends. I'll miss how feisty you can get sometimes, but always so friendly and curious. I'll miss seeing you on the bedroom garden perch while you get your morning sun. I'll miss your beautiful smell.

I'm sorry I could not do more for you but I did my best. I hope you were happy and comfortable. I hope you know how much I loved and cared for you. You and the flock are my children and it breaks my heart to know I will no longer see your beautiful face.

Good night, Sweet Kiks. Thank you for spending your life with me and the flock. We will miss you very much.

[ame="https://youtu.be/0xZEjUSB0ps"]Good Night, Sweet Kiki - YouTube[/ame]​

 

[LauraC]

I am so sorry for your loss. RIP Kiki. From your tribute you can tell how much you loved Kiki. It is always hard to lose our feathered friends but even more so when it is sudden.

 

[BoomBoom]

LauraC, thank you. It means a lot. It's the little ones that tug at your heart the most.

I was writing this on my email and thought would post. Just to process my thoughts...

It happened instantly. I heard a thud just as I was lying down on the couch with Boomer. I saw a slumped body on the grate, one wing spread. Immediately I thought Pewpew. After placing Boomer down I inspected the body and realized it was Kiki. He was not moving, eyes were closed but body was soft and limp. Lifted him and he was just limp and lifeless. I cradled him hoping he'd wake up. He was still warm and I could still smell his usual Kiki smell. After 10-15 minutes I placed him back in the cage on a towel so that Boomer and Pewpew can realize that he has passed. I stayed there for a while with the birds. Slowly, Kiki's body had stiffened so I know that he is truly dead.

I don't understand what happened. Kiki's been with me since June 2015. He's only 2 1/2 years old. He was so active and healthy. He was actually the seemingly healthier one between him and Pewpew (the latter having what I suspect is fatty liver disease but his vet thinks low calcium or poor genetics).

Kiki was so active up until the end. Today he was flying around the apartment like he normally does. Visiting me on the computer, then in the kitchen while I prepped their food. He hung out inside Boomer's cage in the afternoon much to the dismay of his friend, Pewpew. When I was cleaning their cage he wanted to perch on my hand and be naughty. I let him for a while and he bit me like he normally does when he gets too carried away with excitement. I wish I would have let him perch a little longer. He was also feisty with Pewpew like he sometimes is when he's jealous of the attention I give Pew. Today as always, he had great appetite. He actually has a better diet than Pewpew because he was the one who ate more of the veggie chop mix. In fact, just yesterday, I saw him all into the veggie mix and thought, this guy's gonna have a long life. Then this happened. How ironic.

Yesterday he dropped a feather just when he left my computer desk. I thought this was the prettiest one he's dropped. So bright and healthy. I planned to add it to my bag of their feather mementos but somehow I got lazy and just threw it in my desk trash can. I thought, there would be plenty others. How ironic that this happened. I have since fished it out of the trash can, still clean and added it to the bag.

He was so young and I gave him and Pewpew really great care. They were so a seed / pellet diet which I've been trying to reduce, 2 daily servings of veggie chop mix, 1 daily kabob of brocolli or jalapenos or kale or celery and random fruits. They get sun as often as I can manage.

I'm worried for Pewpew. He is so shy of me and Boomer. He only ever leaves the cage to follow Kiki around the apartment. Boomer also is not fond of Pewpew. I feel so sorry for him. I want him to mourn and understand that Kiki has passed so I left Kiki's body on a papertowel at the bottom of the cage.

I'm so sad. I don't know why this happened so soon.

 

[Flboy]

I am so sorry! These little tykes give so much to us!

 

[Terry57]

I am so sorry for your loss of sweet Kiki. They take such a huge part of our hearts when they leave. My hearts breaks for you & Pewpew

 

[BoomBoom]

Flboy, Terry57, Thank you. It's nice to see familiar faces still active on the forum.

Pewpew is eating but he knows something is amiss. It's starting to sink in that Kiki has passed. I still have his body on the cage floor to allow Pew more time to process the loss. Half of me was hoping that Kiki would be alive when I uncovered their cage this morning.

I will remove Kiki in 30 minutes so I can get ready to go and bury him. I feel so sorry for Pewpew. He's calling out and will quiet down when I stand by his age. I want to comfort him but he's always been afraid of my hands.

 

[eickhorn]

Sorry to hear about your loss. Being an beginner myself, i wish you the best and look forward to your next bird story.

 

[Terry57]

It's good to see you too, I wish it was under happier circumstances.
It is so hard to watch the one left behind grieving, and being unable to comfort them. I did the same thing you did when one of a pair passed, and I do believe that time together helps what happened to sink in, and gives them time to say goodbye.
You will be in my thoughts today.

 

[Scott]

My deepest condolences for the passing of Kiki. It hurts and stings so intently, particularly when young. You did the best for the remaining birds to understand the loss, in their own way.

Because you have other birds, and this was unexpected, might you consider a necropsy by a certified avian vet? Your hunch may be correct, but the possibility of contagion might exist.

Thank you for the lovely photo and video tribute. May Kiki's memories bring you comfort.

 

[GaleriaGila]

My sincerest sympathies.
If you can bear it, and manage it, I would hope for a necropsy, too. There's relief in knowing as much as possible.
I really commend your bravery in letting little Kiks rest there for a while. I feel as if his little spirit might settle somehow. And of course Pew got some time to figure things out.
Thank you for sharing!

 

[BoomBoom]

Thank you everyone for the kind words.

Scott, GalleriaGila, I wish I had read your message before I had set out for the trip to bury Kiki. Part of me knew I should do a necropsy and your post might have pushed me to really do it. What made me ignore that impulse was because Kiki was so healthy and active the whole day, all the way until his death. To me it seemed like a heart attack. I kept replaying the moments before it happened. I turned off some of the lights to dim the living room as usual. I took their dishes out to wash for the night, removed their veg kabob and said goodnight. I'm trying to remember what Kiki looked like. He certainly seemed normal, not gasping or choking. It was as if he was alive one second, then as if a switch was flipped, he dropped to the ground dead. No struggle, just silence. I guess I'd never know now. I'm sorry.

I think a necropsy would have truly helped here but I was in a bad state and saw an opportunity to give him a decent and loving burial with loved ones the next day. We had a scheduled a late Mother's Day and Birthday Celebration. I buried Kiki in our family home next to our beloved family cat, Moonie. I'm sharing photos here as a remembrance.









I really miss the little guy. Cleaning their cage a while ago was tough but I have to stick to our routine to ease some of the strangeness the flock must be feeling. So worried for Pewpew. He seems to be looking for Kiki.

 

[Scott]

I completely understand, sometimes we do what is necessary at the time. Conducting a necropsy and finding the cause(s) is not guaranteed. You gave him a lovely tribute, now is the time to grieve and care for Pewpew. Birds have adjustments too, we just don't know what they are thinking.

 

[itzjbean]

I am so sorry for your loss. I recently lost my female cockatiel and I got a necropsy done, it gave me much peace of mind and closure and I was glad to know she wasn't infectious to my other bird. However I understand your decision to bury your bird. Rest in peace.

 

[Kentuckienne]

I’m sorry to hear it. My vet once told me that birds can hide their illness so well that one day they are eating and acting normal, then the next morning dead on the bottom of the cage. He hears it all the time. It makes it all the harder when they seem to go for no visible reason. Thank you for sharing Kiki’s story with us ...

 

[BoomBoom]

Scott, Itsjbean, Kentuckienne, Thank you for your support. It means a lot. I can't really express my grief to people I know because they would not understand. Some do in a superficial way, some don't in the most obnoxious way possible. I tried to tell two coworkers today who I thought would get it. One could not suppress a laugh and the other just looked at me funny.

I wrote random things on my offline Kiki memorial so I won’t forget the little things that made Kiki so special to me. I thought I’d share it on the internet to immortalize his memory in some way.

Kiki had so much personality packed in his tiny body. Now that I think about it, he was the beloved troll of the flock. It was his mission to both befriend and annoy my sun conure, Boomer. Whenever Kiki felt like it, he would fly over to where Boomer is and get into his business. He just wanted to get as close to him as possible before he gets shooed away by Boomer. I’m never worried of Kiki getting hurt because Boomer was not trying to attack, merely trying to shoo him away. Besides, Kiki was way too fast.

Kiki would follow him to the bedroom stand, living room stand, bathroom perch, on top of Boomer’s cage, inside Boomer’s cage. Sometimes Kiki would chill inside Boomer’s cage even when Boomer isn’t there. He used to love it in there but Pewpew did not approve of the visitations.

We all eat dinner at the same time in the same room. Boomer in his cage, Kiks and Pew in theirs, me on the couch. I keep Boomer’s cage door closed while he is having dinner until I'm done with mine. Often I eat human food he can’t share. When Kik’s done, he would sometimes fly out and stay on the exterior perch attached to Boomer’s cage. He’d watch and troll Boomer from the perch which just annoys Boomer to no end. Sometimes Pewpew follows but most often he’d just call Kiki to come back to their cage.

After dinner, I’d watch TV from the couch. Sometimes Boomer would cuddle with me, other times he’d hang out inside his wooden bird house I had custom-made. It’s 2 ft x 2 ft x 2 ft solid wood box with a lid in the shape of a pitched roof. It’s got a tiny opening just under and in the center of the pitch. I fill the box with thick layers of cardboard which Boomer shreds when he feels like it. It doesn’t give him hormonal aggression so vet okayed it. Anyhow, Kiki would sometimes fly right on top of the pitch and chirp so Boomer knows he is up there. Boomer tries to shoo him away but never really tries to chase aggressively. He’d keep trolling up there until he gets sick of it.

I loved it when Kiki, Pewpew and Boomer would just fly together from room to room usually in the afternoon. It’s mostly the other two following Boomer. I also loved it when Kiki would visit me while I’m on the computer. He’d perch on the monitor and just watch. He only ever does it when Boomer’s on me so I guess it’s really Boomer that he’s visiting.

My most favorite of all though is when Kiki actively seeks me out. If he feels like it, he’d perch on my finger and I’d play thumb wars with him. He’d get over excited often and either bite the crap out of thumb (he’s strong). A few times, I’ve managed to steal a kiss before he flies away (he was never fully tamed). He’s got this distinct smell that I love. I can’t explain it, but it’s almost like a sweet, minty herb. The smell stayed even in his death.

I miss the little guy.

 

[PetoftheDay]

Our condolences, they never live as long as we want them to. They do, however, live on forever in our hears. You are in our prayers.

 

[BoomBoom]

Thank you for the support, PetoftheDay. It means a lot.

I just realized that I made a mistake in my earlier post. Kiki was exactly 3 years when he passed (not 2 1/2).

Regardless, tt hasn't gotten any easier. I miss little Kiks.