hiriki
Well-known member
- Oct 19, 2014
- 536
- 742
- Parrots
- (Birdie - Jenday Conure)
(Kiwi - Green Cheek Conure)
(Elby - Lovebird)
(Gorou - Ringneck Dove)
My dream is to eventually be able to post selfies with her on my head or on my shoulder 
I never would have thought that possible, honestly, but we're doing so well!
As the story goes, Elby the lovebird was found four or five years ago outside in very poor shape and surrendered to an exotic vet in Chicago, where she was nursed back to health. One of the vet techs took her home but worried that she didn't fit in with the flock, as she didn't get along with the family GCC and seemed unhappy. This vet tech relinquished her to a rescue, who posted her on PetFinder, where I found her and fell in love at first glance.
When I first adopted Elby, after only about a week of her settling into my home, my precious cockatiel Kibble passed away suddenly. I had a flock of 6 and only two friendly birds, my conure and Kibble, so it was a huge blow to me. Emotionally, I was unsure if I could continue trying to socialize Elby. I came here to air out my anxieties and thankfully, I was put in my place--the thought of this poor girl being abandoned and bounced around even more is heartbreaking to me when I think about it now. So I doubled down on my efforts.
My heart was in the right place but my methods were questionable. Elby bird came to me clipped, and so I took advantage of a temporary situation (my flock is fully flighted) to handle her. What I now know is called flooding. Handling her became a terrifying experience--she would launch herself out of my hands with such abandon that I worried she'd injure herself, and she in fact did break a few blood feathers before I realized I was getting nowhere and damaging a fledgling relationship. It was impossible to approach her without her bouncing off the walls of her cage in a panicked frenzy. At this point, I made the questionable decision to give her space until her wings had grown out and she regained control of her flight.
If I were to start over, I'd do many things differently. But eventually, Elby bird did grow her wings back, and because she was so frightened of me in her cage, I socialized her outside of the cage. I don't know that I would do this again, but in about a month's time she was eating NutriBerries out of my fingers on top of the cage. This felt like a monumental success, but what I didn't realize was that without the tools to get her back into her cage in a non-aversive fashion, I was cutting myself off at the feet! I call what I used to do the "go home dance"--I sang "go home" in a friendly tone and followed her around the room until she went home just to get me to leave her alone.
We remained at a standstill for a year or so after this point. She would eat millet and nutriberries from my fingers, but very hesitantly, and from an almost funny distance... she'd lean so far forward she sometimes fell on her face trying to avoid approaching me.
Then I learned about positive reinforcement training. It's amazing what phasing out the go-home dance and introducing clicker training has accomplished in such a short time. I still socialize her outside of the cage, but this is because I can rather easily target her back home when it's time to go home. She's now stepped directly on my hand to follow treats, and doesn't flinch away when I approach her with millet. In fact, even though I've done very little training inside the cage, the shift in our relationship has allowed me to even treat her inside her cage without her freaking out.
I feel that we're going to make a breakthrough in our relationship soon. Although I previously tried closing her off from her cage so she has to spend time with me in the living room, I find that it causes so much anxiety that I haven't continued to do it... but compared to before, she's visiting me more often and sticking around longer, and when I glance up to check on how she's doing she's often craning her neck to examine me like she's contemplating something. I remember around when she first regained her flight feathers, for one very brief second she landed on my lap (intentionally!) and I'm hoping she finally gathers the moxy to try it again.
If you read this whole novel of a post, thanks! I think I mostly re-hashed information I've already shared elsewhere on the forums and honestly I'm a bit worried someone's getting sick of me posting about Elby (lol!) but I just wanted to give her a dedicated thread, where hopefully soon I can share more photos of us together.
![20220110_200047[1].jpg](https://www.parrotforums.com/attachments/20220110_200047-1-jpg.34651/ "20220110_200047[1].jpg")
I never would have thought that possible, honestly, but we're doing so well!As the story goes, Elby the lovebird was found four or five years ago outside in very poor shape and surrendered to an exotic vet in Chicago, where she was nursed back to health. One of the vet techs took her home but worried that she didn't fit in with the flock, as she didn't get along with the family GCC and seemed unhappy. This vet tech relinquished her to a rescue, who posted her on PetFinder, where I found her and fell in love at first glance.
When I first adopted Elby, after only about a week of her settling into my home, my precious cockatiel Kibble passed away suddenly. I had a flock of 6 and only two friendly birds, my conure and Kibble, so it was a huge blow to me. Emotionally, I was unsure if I could continue trying to socialize Elby. I came here to air out my anxieties and thankfully, I was put in my place--the thought of this poor girl being abandoned and bounced around even more is heartbreaking to me when I think about it now. So I doubled down on my efforts.
My heart was in the right place but my methods were questionable. Elby bird came to me clipped, and so I took advantage of a temporary situation (my flock is fully flighted) to handle her. What I now know is called flooding. Handling her became a terrifying experience--she would launch herself out of my hands with such abandon that I worried she'd injure herself, and she in fact did break a few blood feathers before I realized I was getting nowhere and damaging a fledgling relationship. It was impossible to approach her without her bouncing off the walls of her cage in a panicked frenzy. At this point, I made the questionable decision to give her space until her wings had grown out and she regained control of her flight.
If I were to start over, I'd do many things differently. But eventually, Elby bird did grow her wings back, and because she was so frightened of me in her cage, I socialized her outside of the cage. I don't know that I would do this again, but in about a month's time she was eating NutriBerries out of my fingers on top of the cage. This felt like a monumental success, but what I didn't realize was that without the tools to get her back into her cage in a non-aversive fashion, I was cutting myself off at the feet! I call what I used to do the "go home dance"--I sang "go home" in a friendly tone and followed her around the room until she went home just to get me to leave her alone.
We remained at a standstill for a year or so after this point. She would eat millet and nutriberries from my fingers, but very hesitantly, and from an almost funny distance... she'd lean so far forward she sometimes fell on her face trying to avoid approaching me.
Then I learned about positive reinforcement training. It's amazing what phasing out the go-home dance and introducing clicker training has accomplished in such a short time. I still socialize her outside of the cage, but this is because I can rather easily target her back home when it's time to go home. She's now stepped directly on my hand to follow treats, and doesn't flinch away when I approach her with millet. In fact, even though I've done very little training inside the cage, the shift in our relationship has allowed me to even treat her inside her cage without her freaking out.
I feel that we're going to make a breakthrough in our relationship soon. Although I previously tried closing her off from her cage so she has to spend time with me in the living room, I find that it causes so much anxiety that I haven't continued to do it... but compared to before, she's visiting me more often and sticking around longer, and when I glance up to check on how she's doing she's often craning her neck to examine me like she's contemplating something. I remember around when she first regained her flight feathers, for one very brief second she landed on my lap (intentionally!) and I'm hoping she finally gathers the moxy to try it again.
If you read this whole novel of a post, thanks! I think I mostly re-hashed information I've already shared elsewhere on the forums and honestly I'm a bit worried someone's getting sick of me posting about Elby (lol!) but I just wanted to give her a dedicated thread, where hopefully soon I can share more photos of us together.
